3 Year Old Son Lives to Eat

Updated on March 05, 2008
A.F. asks from New York, NY
19 answers

My 3 year old son currently and has always loved to eat. When he was a baby, everyone told me, babies only eat when they are hungry, but my son never stopped himself. Now at the age of three, he is obsessed with food - he is very happy when he is eating, his make believe play is centered on food, when he describes his day, he always talks about what he and others ate and he still eats never ending meals. Parties where there is food are very stressful since all he wants to do is eat. And as a result of his eating, my son is on the heavy side (40 pounds). Now, he does he predominantly healthy foods (vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean proteins), but the shear quantity and, even more so, the prominence of food in his life trouble me considerably. I am interested in whether anyone else has a child who so loves to eat and if anyone has suggestions as to how to deal with this without giving him a food complex.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for your advice. It is comforting to know there are other moms who are dealing with chunky food lovers. Thank you to those who introduced me to Ellyn Satter. I wish someone had mentioned her to me a few years ago, and I am hopeful that if I adhere to her advice, I will see some improvement in terms of attitude and feelings toward food.

Featured Answers

C.B.

answers from New York on

I would suggest getting the nutritional guidelines for his age and weight. Then only allow that amount of food through the day and talk to him about how food is good and eating healthy amounts makes it even better for you.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

Have you consulted a well-trained pediatrician (as opposed to a family practice doctor)? I would wonder if they ruled out pratter-willey (spelling?) syndrome? there is something about his eating that sounded rather driven, and not just hungry or bored or somthing. do check this out. it is so good that you are counterbalancing with heathy foods!

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J.M.

answers from New York on

A.,

My now 5 yr old daughter was 25 lbs overweight because she loved to eat. I never saw the obesity. She just looked abit over weight. She ran like the rest of them too. But when the doc told me she had high blood pressure I freaked. She loves fruit and veggies but carbs were her vice. (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree) I cut her portions down and cut her to water. I also changed her options. They can only take what you give. It is REALLY hard at first when they tell you they are still hungry but you have to realize, he shouldn't be. You have to "shrink" his stomach. If he is still hungry offer water or half an apple. Snack I give half an apple with a teaspoon of peanut butter. She has since lost 10 lbs and is now 2-3 inches taller. She is only about 6lbs over weight. We are still working on it but this is the life she will have to lead. She just has a slow metabolism. Your son on the other hand has a normal met. but it will catch up to him. You have to curb it and retrain him or he will suffer as an adult and never understand why. Food is only sustenance. It shouldn't be for comfort or bordem. If you think that is what he is doing then find something else that he loves to do and distract him. When she says she wants something I ignore it and break out a new craft. She forgets all about it after that. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from New York on

A.,
Check with the pediatrician and also look at yourself and your husband. I come from a family of tall men and so does my husband. 6 feet being the shortest. I too thought that my son was overweight, but as he got older it all shifted. He went through growth spirts gaining height and thinning out. Boys are a different breed in that their metabolizm is so much more active than girls and as long as you keep him active with sports not sitting around playing on handhelds he will be healthy. My boys love the yogurt, vegetables and have 3 fruits a day everyday. from the time they could walk. Feed him all the good stuff and do the daily exercises. On rainy days boys love to splash in the puddles or do TaiBo with Billy Blanks, lol:)

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E.E.

answers from New York on

read "child of mine" by ellen slatter (i think that's her name). it's a great book about feeding. one point she makes is that if you limit food they just want more and more and stop knowing how to listen to their own internal hunger cues. (you didn't say whether you do that, but something to think about). i can partially imagine how you feel because my son is that way with sweets, but not real food--and i am guilty of limiting him!

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

I would talk to your peditrican if you are concerned about his weight but as long as he's making good food choices I really wouldn't worry about it, I have 5 boys and my 2nd lives and breathes to eat....same thing....his favorite part of school is lunch and snack time...some kids are like that....he's outgrown some of the attachment but his heighlight of anything...party or day is the food...(my husband's like that too) I wouldn't worry to much...

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L.G.

answers from Kansas City on

My son will be 3 in April is already weighs 42 pounds. He is about the size of my four year old! I just make sure he is getting fruits and dairy etc, and avoid excessive sugar. What does your doctor say? They keep telling me that mine will be a linebacker. At his 2 year appt they predicted him to be a 6 ft 4 in adult. With that in mind, I expect him to eat a lot. I wouldn't worry too much if he is not drastically off the carts for his weight. Avoid lectures which could give him a complex and turn into a more serious issue. Good luck!

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J.O.

answers from New York on

If your son is eating predominantly "vegetables, fruits, whole grains and lean proteins", as you said above, it sounds like maybe he's not getting enough fat in his diet. Fat is what signals our bodies to feel satiated and stop eating, and children need to eat lots of healthy fats to grow (our cell walls are made of fats). Try full-fat milk, yogurt, and cheese, walnuts, coconut, avocados, olive oil dressings on salads (soybean oil based dressings are not healthy choices for little ones), eggs, and get your fatty meat from organic sources, so you know there are no pesticides/herbicides/antibiotics (all of which are stored in an animal's fatty tissue). Even flaxseed oil and coconut oil are great choices for him, with high levels of omega-3s and antioxidants. I mix mine right into a yogurt and fruit smoothie. Remember, saturated fat is not really the enemy, TRANS fats are. Good luck with him!

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S.D.

answers from Syracuse on

A.,
hi there! i am heavy set, and have been my entire life.... i never wanted my kids to get over weight and struggle their entire life w/ weight issues. so i learned to portion their food, (mostly snacks) this way when the bowl is empty, they have had enough and they know it, my mother always taught me that when u feel full, u are way past being full, after meals give urself 5 mins and then u feel like u have had enough. i would just do portion control and see how that work, but if he is eating fruits and veggies, let him go for it! they are good for him (and his poop!)

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A.F.

answers from New York on

my kids are still young, 3 and under and have the opposite problem. i would ask your pediatrician and if he is worried then act, if not, let your son eat he might just really be that hungry.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

A.,

All you need to do is create situations that are fun but NOT food related

Eg. at 3 school or nursery programs are great,
sports like swimming and soccer and more active types of things, are a big distraction from food.

40 pounds is heavy but not enourmous, my barely 2 year old is 32 pounds and not nearly fat but is in the 95th percentile for height weight and head circumfrence.

keeping him busy with athletics will help him stay trim and fit while still allowing him the flexibility to eat his beloved foods.

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L.M.

answers from Jamestown on

I loved reading your problem. All I can think is that perhaps some children are musical prodigies and perhaps your son is a culinary prodigy. Encourage him to help you in the kitchen as much as is age appropriate and do your best to teach him good eating habits. It sounds like you eat lots of fresh, whole foods. Wonderful! There are some good books on children's eating habits and food. The Surprising Power of Family Meals is a very inspiring book on this topic. Also here is an interesting article on this topic of kids overeating; http://www.radiancemagazine.com/kids_project/child_nutrit...
The woman being interviewed, Ellyn Satter, has lot of great information and experience with kids and food. She's a nutritionist. http://www.ellynsatter.com/ has some wonderful information.
Does he like the movie Ratatouille?
Try to channel his passion so it can be of benefit to him. Good luck!

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R.R.

answers from Rochester on

Is he eating healthy fats? Fats are what satiate and fill. All children are different, but I find my almost 3 yr old is much less mindful of food when he's eaten fats- organic cheese, organic full fat milk, almond butter with his toast and on apple slices, pasta/brown rice with lots of butter/olive oil, free range omelets... good fats are very important and not bad for a child. If he fills up on tons of grains &fruit juices, whole grain or not, that would bulk anyone up. I serve whole grains in small portions with lots of butter or healthy oil, and fruits with nuts, this helps slow absorption of carbohydrate sugars so you feel full and don't suffer from mood swings that go along with blood sugar spikes (or the result of frequently spiked blood sugar, diabetes- if it's in your genetics). Extra virgin coconut oil is also great and tasty, especially in smoothies with whole milk or full fat yogurt and bananas and strawberries.

Sidenote: Certain vitamins and minerals, for instance, Vitamin D, is a fat soluble vitamin- meaning it is not absorbed without fats present... so this is just another reason for a child to get fats and drink whole milk instead of skim fortified with Vitamin D that his body will not absorb. (And avoid soy milk, soy milk is highly processed. If you really like soy tofu and tempeh are much less processed forms of it, but don't overdue it it is goitrogenic- depresses thyroid function- and is estrogenic. Hemp milk or almond milk are better dairy substitutes if an allergy to dairy is present).

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A.D.

answers from Utica on

I think it would be a good idea to see a nutritionist they can suggest healthy foods that wont turn into fat solids quickly. also don't allow your child to eat before bed time if he wants a small snack make it something healthy like grapes, or carrot sticks. Also when your son is old enough try to get him into sports that he may like this will keep him active.

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R.M.

answers from New York on

You might want to check with his doctor. Just reading what you discribes make me think his body does not have the correct signal to tell his brain he is full and to stop eating. If there is no medical condition, you might want to start redirecting him to other things/activities when he starts to talk about food. What happens when you tell him he just ate and will have to wait until lunch/dinner? He could also be the type that needs to eat small amounts every few hours all day long. Plan out the correct amount of food for the whole day (appropiate for a 3 year old) and then give him a little bit every 1 to 2 hours. Best of luck.

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K.I.

answers from New York on

All the advise is good, but I will also ask what are you eating? I noticed that some parents (not all) say look at my child he/she is so heavy and then you look at the mom and dad and either they are heavy too or they are thin now, but have been struggling with their weight or one side of the family from either mom or dad is heavy. These are all considerations to take into account. My friend has two daughters one is thin like her and one is thicker like her father and the women on his side of the family. Also children are not born by themselves. If you already have a newborn your oldest still needS comforting, because he is still a baby too, he could be using food as comfort tool. Some babies (like myself:) suck their thumbs when they are stressed others use food. When he gets really upset do you quickly give him food, or let him pick whatever he wants to eat, because you're dealing with a baby that needs your attention right now? Just something to think about.

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C.S.

answers from New York on

I have a 6yo that has always been an amazing eater. Like your son, she is very happy when she is eating, her response to "what was your best part of the day?" generally have to do with something she ate, and tends to attack the buffet at parties (this is more of a "manners" issue for us at this point, however). She refuses the kids' menus and will eat an adult portion when we eat out. She is a little older, so I can talk to her about her food choices, and she generally chooses very healthfully. My mother harps on the amount that she eats, but like you, I do not want to create issues about food. On a sidenote, she is in the 95% for height and 75% for weight, so she is not heavy.

However, when she was 2-3 yrs old she was an absolute chunk! She was a roly poly baby and it took her awhile for the baby fat to fall away. One of my college roommates asked me once if I was worried about her. The question made me think, but no, I wasn't worried because I was feeding her HEALTHY food, and she had a varied diet (unlike her little sister who could subsist very happily on pasta products). As my 6yo grew, she really leaned out. Our emphasis is on good food, a balanced diet, and physical actiivity that is FUN. When she gets overtired, a wire in her brain gets crossed and she thinks she is hungry. But I recognize this behavior now and can intervene.

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C.R.

answers from New York on

Make sure that you provide him with plenty of activities that are not food related. Go to the playground with him and don't bring any snacks. Do puzzles with him, play simple card games, dance with him and keep him physically active!
Healthy food + physical activity = healthy children!

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A.S.

answers from New York on

Was he a good nurser/bottle feeder as a newborn? Does he have low muscle tone? Those are big red flags for a syndrome that I have suspected for my food-loving 2 yr old. It's called Prader-Willi Syndrome. I am pretty sure food obsession alone is not an indicator. Have you talked to your ped about it? I think kids tend to get obsessed about things, at least in the short term.

Feel free to email me. We seem to have similar issues. My son will throw tantrums if you take him out of the high chair before he is ready and he is always asking for more food. He eventually stops but I think he eats too much. He's around 32lv at 27 mo old.

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