3 Year Old Is Obsessed with Her Blanky

First I think you should do what Marda suggests, and then if she's still throwing a fit that blankie isn't covering her correctly, you should try Momof3H's tactic of saying, "I know you don't like how Mommy does it, so now you have to do it from now on."

I do NOT, however, suggest that you get rid of it. But by 3 years old, if they are going to throw a fit after you try to help them do something, then they will just have to do it their way on their own.

Wow, I have the same issue sort of. Both my younger girls had blankies ( little ones though) that they took everywhere. My ten year old just gave hers up - so proud of her! My 7 year old still needs it to sleep (ocassioanlly slips it in backpack secretly for school). However She has been told if she forgets & goes to bed with out it I am not searching house for blankie.. She is understanding...My girls also tell me they can't get their regular big bed blankies on them just right and they used to call me to come fix. I refused. I told them I will fix the blankie one time when I tuck you in, if it gets messed up I am not coming back in to fix. We had some fusses but I stuck to my guns.
It seems to me that you will never get the Blankie just perfect and so your daughter just needs to learn that it will be okay. Its okay to get mad! and be upset but that is just they way things are. You will fix blankie 1 time and thats all. I would start talking to her about that some time when she's not needing the blankie so much and is awake not tired. and then i would just keep twlling her. If she calls you in the middle of the night try to comfort in someother way... I know easier said than done, but if you feed into the blankie must be perfect its just gonna get worse..

It will pass.

I would try sewing a "pocket" along the bottom. Then she can stick her feet in the pocket and pull it up to her neck. That would solve the problem of her having her feet sticking out and it's something she can do herself. Tell her the pocket has special powers and will help give extra protection to her feet. Then show her how she can do it all by herself. What a big girl!

My daughter is 9 and she still has her blankie. She also likes it to be FULLY covering her because it protects her from the bad things at night. She's not so picky about it, but I understand how why your daughter is adamant that her feet not be sticking out.

The pocket would make it easy for her to snuggle into her blanket as well. If that doesn't solve the problem then it's not the blanket but rather an insecurity about you and she needs you at night.

Good luck!

You might look into the book "Go the F--k to Sleep." It's a humor book for parents written like a children's book. It might help you laugh at your situation :)

Try tough love? attention seeking? Let her cry it out? Really?
She is looking for comfort. She does not WANT to be upset and angry, it's just that the blankie isn't giving her comfort at that moment and she needs that comfort. I love the suggestion to add a flap at the bottom so she can tuck her feet in. Make sure it will allow for growth in case she is attached to the blanket for more than a few months. Also get her involved in picking out the fabric for the flap. I know her behavior is making you and your husband crazy but she isn't trying to make you crazy. She is trying to self soothe (a good thing) and needs help. Good luck.

maybe try sewing it on to a bigger blanket, (even fold it in half over the big one, so its close up to the top) so she can stay covered, and still be soothed by the one she loves.

Make a game out of it and teach her how to do it herself. Tell her to show you how she likes it and encourage her to do it. I know, my boys do this too, but they have gotten better now that they know how to tuck their feet in and get all covered.

What do you mean by she is fresh?

I would not take away the blankey, but I would start using some tough love, help her learn how to put her blanky on herself, I can assure you I am one grumpy mom when I get woke up and if my 3 year old woke me to adjust his balnky I would not be happy. I know she is throwing a tantrum over it, my advice would be to ignore the tantrum and be positive, tell her you know she can do it herself...when left alone to do a task that my 3 year old says is too hard 9 that I know he is capable of) he usually figures it out.
My 3 year old drags his blanky everywhere, and not only that but my 10 year old still has hers and sleeps with it every night and I have a cousin who is older than I am, is married with 3 children and she STILL has hers...I guess the idea of a blanky is not the issue, but how rigid she is about how it is placed. It will take some time, patience and being strong. Decide how to handle it and be consistant! Good luck ( I know it is hard when they are upset not to give in)

My three year old has done the exact same thing and is also incredibly attached to her blankie (which she calls her bee-bah). I don't have nay magic suggestions, we bought lots of other similar blankets but no dice. FInally I found one on Ebay that was the exact same one so now I have two (and she doesn't know it). I keep one hidden just in case one gets wet or dirty and then swap.

I know this isn't helping you with your specific problem, but wanted you to know we had the same issue. Now she's 3.75 years old and rarely has the issue about it no "being right" and covering her from neck to toe anymore. I did tell her that she was simply too big for it to cover her properly anymore, not sure if it sunk in or she just got more flexible. Her latest is that she refused to wear PJs - just undies so I worry she will be cold but she seems fine.

Good luck.

I was going to suggest only having her fix her blanky, but you said she screams b/c she can't do it right herself. Ug! I feel your pain. You can try having her do it by herself again - say something like, "I know you don't like how Mommy does it, so now you have to do it from now on." If that doesn't work, perhaps her blanky can all of a sudden "disappear" (translation - throw it away) and she will be forced to have a new blanky (one that you will make sure will be much bigger so it will cover her toes)! Good luck!

Is she obsessive about other things? Does her food have to be on the plate just so? Does she have to put on her pants first and then her shirt? If so I recommend a psychological evaluation.

Barring other obsessions, I suggest this has become a habit with her and it can be broken. Stop feeding into her demands. Tell her you know she can figure out how to place her blankie and then leave the room so that you don't get caught up in her drama.

Be sympathetic. Be calm and affectionate. But tell her you're no longer helping her with her blankie and stick with it.

YOu might try holding her and her blankie and talk about how the blankie makes her feel. Good naturedly place the blanket in various ways and say, something to the effect, "this blankie feels good right here." "This blankie is so warm and cuddly here and here and here."

This sounds like her blankie is extra important to her as a source of security. She doesn't feel safe unless its on her just so and she can't make that happen. This seems to indicate she has little faith in her own ability to take care of herself. Perhaps working with her on ways to develop self-confidence might help. Praise her when she does other things. Help her to be more independent while at the same time reassuring her that you're there to help her.

This is a tough one. It feels a bit extreme to me even after reading other's descriptions of similar situations with their child. I suggest it means finding a middle ground of helping her feel your support while encouraging her to handle the blankie on her own.

My son was obsessive like this over a little tiny security blanket. The kid wouldn't stay in bed for anything, but if it fell on the floor, he would scream and yell like mad until we got it for him. I cannot count how many hours were spent hunting for that thing when it was misplaced (and we had three extras!). It drove us nuts! We never found a solution. We just dealt with it for months and then suddenly, it disappeared when we were breaking a thumb sucking habit (the blanket made it worse). He was so attached to that thing, it broke my heart to make it go away. As happy as I was to get that nuisance out of our lives , I was also sad and felt guilty about it. It took him two days to get over it. He was fine. If I had known he would recover so easily, I probably would have "lost" it sooner.

She is getting so much attention for this behavior... I'm afraid to say that ignoring her and letting her scream and cry about it might be an effective option. Loud and painful for you, but it might help. I have a feeling since it has gone on for so long, it would take quite a while for the cycle to be broken...

Other than that, there is quite a good book about blankies called Owen by Kevin Henkies. You might read it with her (it's a cute story about a boy mouse who won't give up his blankie and what his parents try to do about it) and use it to open a discussion about why her behavior is not appropriate, and maybe think of a solution with her.

hth & good luck

I think Ashme's advice is spot on, but I would like to add that my daughter at that age tended to personify inanimate things so this is what I believe would have worked with her. I don't know if it will work for you. I would have told her that blanky is as grown as it's gonna get, but she is still growing and the bigger she gets the smaller blanky will seem. So when blanky doesn't fit right it's because she's getting bigger and that her and blanky need to figure out a new way to sleep, or blanky will think she's mad at it. Now my daughter would not have any of her things upset with her so she'd fix the problem. Since all kids are different your daughter may not feel or react the same way. I wish you the best of luck with this.