3 Year Old and Naptime

Although many 3 year olds sleep in the afternoon, many do not. It is a good year to transition - baggy eyes aside - so they are ready for the intensity of all-day school in a year or so. It sounds like you have a great sense of a good, calm day for her... quiet time is such a great thing to get into at any age.

Hi K.,
My 3 1/2 year old occassionally tries to skip his nap. It is always on the days when I know he really needs one. I threaten to take something he really likes away from him. For example, "If you don't take a nap there will be no popcycle after supper." I also tell him he will have to stay inside after supper because he will have to go to bed early. It has worked so far. Kids at this age do not know what is best for them and will fight to avoid things that they don't want to do. Most kids give up naps around age 5, but many parents will tell you that children will still nap when their schedule allows. Good luck!

I have two girls, 4 & 6&1/2...they both still nap if I tell them to. My trick when they were younger still works to this day (they share a bedroom by the way): I privately tell the older one she just needs to take what I call a "10-minute pretend nap" so she can fool the younger one into taking her "real nap". We brush teeth and read books like always before sleeping. I tuck the girls into their beds. Then, after an hour or a half hour or whenever I want to, I tiptoe in and tell my oldest to come downstairs with me for some mommy/big-girl time, and that it's only been 15 minutes. I congratulate her on getting my youngest to sleep for her nap. If we have a day with no naps I can really see the effects of it on my youngest daughter but my oldest daughter doesn't seem affected at all if she misses a nap.

All kids are different when it comes to what they need in the way of naps. The dark circles under her eyes are probably just what you suspect--that she's not getting enough sleep. Can you make bedtime 7:00 instead of 8:00? She most likely is still oblivious to the time of day, and you and your husband can just behave as though it's 8:00 and fool her into going to bed that way.

My daughter stopped napping before she was 3 1/2. She still had a quiet time of about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. It's a bummer when they give up that nap! I would suggest giving her an earlier bedtime, maybe closer to 7pm.

Other causes for dark circles and fatigue include anemia (iron deficiency) and food allergies. You might ask your pediatrician to do an iron check on your daughter's blood. For years, I didn't know I was allergic to corn and bananas and mushrooms. I ate these foods regularly and always had dark circles under my eyes, sore joints (hips and knees), and felt constantly fatigued. Once I learned of the allergies and cut the foods out, it made a big difference! Maybe keep a log of what your daughter eats for a week, and see if there is a food or foods that dominate (yeah, I know, toddlers aren't the most adventuresome eaters, so we're probably talking mac and cheese and Cheerios). You might experiment with taking a food out of her diet for a couple weeks (dairy, eggs, wheat...?) and see if there's any improvement. Good luck.

Good Afternoon K.,

My first advice is to check with her dr to make sure there isn't a medical reason. When my girls were young we battled over nap time bed time etc.. we finally got to the bottom of her unwillingness to sleep. she was over stimulated by tv and other activities so we found that if we shut off the tv and sat quietly rocking or singing lullabyes for 15 to 30 min before sleep time that helped her to relax. she also slept better after a warm bath and a short back rub. she got a more restful sleep. and was much happier after getting better sleep.

hope you find what works for you
L. C

K.,
You already have many good suggestions. I'll just add that stories on CD (Jim Weiss is a personal favorite - available at the Red Balloon Bookstore) work well for us. If my daughters are tired, they fall asleep to the gentle voice telling the story. If they're not, they lay quietly and are engaged in wonderful storytelling. Both girls have great attention spans from listening and visualizing.

They especially like his versions of The Prince and the Pauper, Tales from the Round Table (Arthurian legend), and the Sleeping Beauty, etc. CDs.

K.

I have a friend who is amazing at getting her very active 5-year-old to take naps. If he's not settling down by himself, she sits with him and gently massages his back, his head, and his face, occasionally passing her hand down over his face so that his eyes naturally close. Before long, they close and stay closed!
Also, do not promise anything exciting for after the nap. She'll just get revved up, thinking about it. If you talk, talk about sleep, and how good it feels to have quiet time and rest.

It helps to have a routine. Same time, same blanket, same window shade closed, whatever... Quiet music is helpful with some kids.

Hi K., My daughter stopped taking regular naps at 2 1/2. I think alot of it was because she had an older brother who wasn't napping and she thought she was missing out on something. Both kids will fall asleep in the car (usually) if we are going to town to shop and run errands. It's about a 40 minute drive each way. They are 6 1/2 and 4 1/2. They go to bed by 8 during the school year. Summer is a little differant! My son is up at 6 am on school days to catch the bus. He has told me that he will fall asleep on the bus ride to school sometimes. He has a 50 minute bus ride.

Well, technically if she's getting 12 hours of sleep she could be getting enough sleep for her age. I say could, because each child's needs are different despite the average. My son is just turning 3 and he drops naps 1-2 times a week. I enforce quiet time, based on MD's recommendation as long as I can. I usually get about an hour out of him. He sleeps for about 10 hours at night and 1 1/2-2 hours during the day. Each time he transitions down, needing less sleep, we deal with a tired and crabby boy for a while. Not fun.

I've had to move his bedtime later to get him to sleep longer in the AM. He was starting to wake up REALLY early. After a week it started to help that issue.

My son was the same way. He napped every day until he started school full time, and even though he's almost 7 I still make him nap occasionally. It was hard because he hated to miss anything, and he would fight sleep so hard, but I finally came up with a solution. I would lay down with him in my bed, which was special for him because he doesn't get to sleep in it any other time. Then I would make him have "lay still and close your eyes time". I would have to remind him a couple of times, but generally he'd be asleep within 15 minutes. Then I always made a big deal after he got up, like he could have a fun snack, or watch a special show, or I'd read him a book. Maybe you can't lay down with your daughter because of other children, etc., but maybe some kind of reward system might work? Good luck!

Maybe put her down to bed even earlier.

K.,

My oldest stopped napping on a regular basis just before her 5th birthday. We still had quiet time for 1-1 1/2 hours until she left for Kindergarten. We lived in a state where every class had all day Kindergarten, so she had rest time there but rarely fell asleep. Now she is 7, has quiet time with a chapter book for 1 hour and falls asleep 1-2 times per month.

My second oldest is 5 1/2 and still naps every day for at least 1- 1 1/2 hours. My 3 year old still naps for 2-3 hours every day.

With my 5 year old who doesn't want to nap anymore but really needs it, I do the same thing I did when I taught preschool. I tell him that he doesn't have to fall asleep, but he does have to lie still and close his eyes for 2 hours. Kids keep themselves awake because they keep themselves active. If they have to hold still and keep their eyes closed, they will fall asleep.

Be persistent with the naps. It is worth it to have a happy, well rested child.

Good luck,
S.

My daughter gave up naps at 1 1/2, my nephew is 1 1/2 and has just given up naps and a friend of mine has a daughter that just turned 3 and just gave up naps.

I do not have a quiet time during the day persay. I do have a 9 month old, so I find a quiet art project to do with my daughter while he is napping, but that is for him to have quiet time, not her.

As far as making her sleep... I don't. At night, we put her in bed and she can read as long as she wants, but she has to be quiet.

My daughter will not go to bed at night if we let her nap, so it is best for us that she doesn't nap anyway. And less stressful for me then trying to "force" her to nap.

My daughter is almost 5 and she takes a nap about 50% of the time. It's always easier for her to take a nap when she's had a busy morning. But, if she's just not willing or if I can tell it's just not going to happen - I encourage "quiet time" in her bedroom - reading books, playing with her dolls, etc. When she doesn't get a nap in - it's obvious most of the time - more cranky and easily frustrated. The biggest thing that has helped is keeping the same routine. Our bedtime routine is more structured - bath, brush teeth, read books/devotion, pray and lights out. During the afternoon - it's usually lunch, TV program, bathroom break, books, and quiet/naptime. We started saying "at least rest your eyes" which in turn sometimes just turns into a nap. Sometimes we nap together too. But napping together has been more difficult since I've had my son who's 9 months. We also give her a lot of incentives for taking a nap - encouraging it when she has something going on in the evening (like dance class or playtime with a friend) but, we also tell her if she takes a good nap, she can have a special snack or a pj party. This is nothing but a fancy name for her regular bedtime ritual - it's actually funny that she hasn't caught on. Sometimes we cut out a book or put her to bed 1/2 hr earlier if she doesn't get a nap OR we'll play a game with her when she does nap. She's old enough to see the benefit of taking a nap b/c her bedtime is a little bit later - 8:30-9. She does go through phases of refusing naps. But, a lot of times it's b/c something through us off of our regular schedule. Best of luck to you!

K.,

My son turned 3 in March. He still needs a nap most days. He went through a phase in June where we skipped naps for about 1 1/2 weeks, but we are back on track now. For a while I rocked him to sleep (which was horrible because he would fight me on it for at least 5-10 minutes before being still - when he would fall quickly to sleep). Now I've been sitting in his room with him for a bit till he settles and goes to sleep. Sometimes we take away something if he doesn't nap. Today he wants to go to the fair gounds in St. Paul to see the old car show, my husband told him he wouldn't take him if he didn't nap because he would be too tired.

Also, on days when he doesn't nap, I try to get him to bed REALLY early... like 7:00. On a day when he does nap he is in bed by 8:00. Maybe you could try an earlier bedtime either way? Sleep begets sleep they say.

My boys share a room, so having the 19 month old fall asleep first also helps, since a sleep tone is in the room when my 3 year old lies down.

Good luck!
J.

SAHM to Charlie (3-24-05) Joey (12-4-06) and Baby Girl due Nov. 08

My 3 and 7 year old still nap, unless they have dyes or sugar or genetically altered foods within 18 hours of nap time or we are on vacation. They sleep for 2-4 hours depending on their activites in the previous 18 hours. They sleep from 8pm-7ish through the night. It is amazing what certian foods do to kids in their ability to sleep, learn and socialize. Here is some info you would never see in our pop culture today... http://denisethompson.blogspot.com/