3 Year Old - Dallas,TX

I was the bright child who started kindergarten early, and although I never had a hard time keeping up with the school work, it was the social part that was more awkward. I was the last to get my driver's license, last to start dating, all my friends were much older than me, especially when I was dating. And that also meant I went to college at 17....

It's just something to think about....it is much easier to be the older leader of the class, than the younger follower. Why not give her every advantage available to mature one more year. She will be at the top of her class, will have the extra advantage for all sports and athletics she tries out for, will be the first to drive and date, and will have the maturity to deal with peer pressure when it comes around. As far as academics, there are many gifted and talented programs at schools, so have her tested as soon as she enters Kindergarten.

I agree with Jenn R's post. I was the young one too. Everyone was way ahead of me as far as dating, driving, curfew etc. It sucked! I didn't turn 18 until the July after graduation. It also meant my friends were drinking a year ahead of me, but of course it was available so I drank any way. I wish my mom had held me back, but she says they just didn't do that back then. My social skills were definitely lacking not too mention my physical development was a year behind.

Your daughter is only 3, don't push her to grow up so fast... Also, don't label her so early as far as intelligence, you could end up being disappointed if she ends up being an average student. I've seen it happen many times with my friends kids. They confused being a bright & mature child for gifted - they are not the same.

She will not be the awkard kid. I can gurantee she isnt the only child that missed the Sept 1st deadline. As a matter of fact both of mine were born in October so i can see your point on the age concern. As far as getting her tested I would wait a few years. My daughter has been in GT(Gifted & Talented) since early elementary. I even considered allowing her to be tested to skip a grade but Im going to wait at least until her first year in high school. There are many more options as far as college prep courses once she began middle school; so basically even if she doesnt skip she will be ahead of most by earning college credits in high school.

The only way you will be able to get her to start school early is to find a private school that will let you do that. I know my friend did that with her daughter and she's going great! She has not regretted it. We could have done that with my oldest but we didn't have a means to do it. But if she does not start till almost 6 it will be ok. She will just be the head of her class. At the end of the year they can test her for the GT program. If you do just make sure she knows to do her best. My son was tested for the GT program every year and finally made it in for 5th grade. He finally told us he didn't know what it was for and didn't really try on it. So when he finally passed it he was told he made the highest score of anyone at least in the district on it. We never pressured him. He makes straight A's and does not have to work at it. Some people think I should have had him skip a grade but I don't think that was right for him but that does not mean it's not right for someone else. You have to really pray and figure out what is best for your daughter!!!!

Good luck with what ever decision you make and God Bless!

My son is a 20 yr old college student and he had an early Sept birthday and was one of the oldest kids in class. For us it worked out great. He was gifted and was very mature for his age and it enevatibly lead to being a leader in his classes. As for stature, when they hit middle school they grow at all different stages. If you sent her now, she will still go through an awkward stage. Remember, it's your attitude that will determine her attitude. Be her greatest advocate and accept what you can't change and tout it as a great benefit and she will be not only happy to be the oldest, but proud!

She may not be the oldest. When my oldest started kindergarten there were kids in his class who turned 6 before school even started. If kindergarten was only half day, I would say push to start early, but going full day is hard so your daughter will get the benefit of being older. I don't know anybody who has successfully petitioned the public schools to start early here in TX. As far as pre-K, there are many 2 year programs that you could check into if that's a priority for you. And you can always work with her at home to challenge her on the academic front. My second son is academically advanced, but he loves pre-K and thinks it's tons of fun. He learns nothing new at school, but has fun being with friends and is a good leader and example in class. I work with him at home to make sure he keeps up with his reading and math, we started a science group with friends, and next year he'll be tested for the advanced placement (LEAP or whatever it's called in our district) program. Your daughter may be socially, emotionally, and academically ready for kinder at 5, but because of state law I doubt any district would let her start early. Personally I would enjoy the extra year at home with her. She'll grow up fast enough as it is.

My daughter's b-day is Aug. 25th. We chose to hold her out until she was 6 to begin kindergarten. Yes, she was the oldest in her class, but as a teenager, she was also more stable, mature, and wasn't afraid of a challenge. She was also the first to get her drivers' license! She graduated with honors, and from a prestigious university with a degree in accounting. She's been successful in every endeavor. There's nothing wrong with being the oldest in the class. As for size, there will be every size in every grade. Kids don't grow at the same speed.

My daughter was in the same situation and we just let her go when she was supposed to go. I just read recently that this is the latest trend...starting kids later vs. earlier. It helps with their maturity, sports abilities and ultimately their ability to focus, concentrate, absorb information. But if that is not the route you want for her, there were very young kids in her Kindergarten class and I think it's just a matter of going to the school of your choice and asking. In some cases I've seen kids repeat Kinder which I don't think is a good idea because other kids tease them saying that they didn't pass K. I've seen it happen to several kids and each of them handled it differently but from the outside First graders' mind....they didnt cut it and the mean kids spread the word even if it's false.
Call the schools individually or the district and if they say No, just get her into enrichment classes elsewhere. Best of luck.

My daughter is 5 1/2 and is in PreK. She has already done 3 & 4 year old class, and has a January birthday, so technically we could have put her in kindergarten. We decided to wait a year and put her in private school PreK so she could get an extra year of learning and maturing before hitting kindergarten. You see,my daughter had a heart transplant when she was 2, so she basically lost half a year of her life in the hospital, so this is what was best for us.

What surprised us is that over half her class is 5 year olds and some are already turning 6! Most of these kids will be starting kindergarten at 6 years old. I think this is becoming a new trend - parents want their kids to have that leg up and be confident when they get to kindergarten. Why would you want them to be behind socially/emotionally even if they are intelligent? I say you have enough time to live life and be an adult - let them have fun in school as long as possible!

P.S. - I don't know what area you are in or if you are looking for a private preK, but St. Paul the Apostle in Richardson has an awesome PreK! Mrs. Bjorkman rocks!!!

Good luck!

I feel your pain - I do!! I was in the same situation. My daughter missed the cutoff by 9 day and it made me crazy. She was SO ready but I went ahead and put her in a private pre-k (ours was only 2 days a week, I'm sure you could find something affordable in Dallas) and started her in kinder just before her 6th birthday. I think she would have done fine if we had started her a year early, but she has done FABULOUS starting later. She's now in 2nd grade and very happy - and like many of the other posters have said, she is very close in age to the others in her class. I had this discussion with MANY moms before and after my daughter started kindergarten and I have never once talked to anyone who regretted waiting. . . .so I guess all that to say don't worry (I know, easier said than done) she will be fine :-).

why is it so important that she grow up so fast? there are tons of kids in the same situation, including my son, and the four kiddos whose moms i work with, who were all born within a couple months of him. if you don't make a drama out of it, it won't be a drama. and yes, i'm sure your daughter is more brilliant than all of ours (okay!)....but it sounds more like you just want your child to stand out as the youngest and smartest in her class. being "left behind" (which she won't be, she will still have friends in preschool or daycare) is your issue, not hers.

Im with Jenn R. It's not always about the smartness of the child but the maturity! She may be smarter but can she handle the social side of being 6-12 months younger than the rest of her class! I think there are WAY more positives to holding her back than there are negatives, and just like the other moms, she won't be the only one in that situation!! Plus it seems like more and more kids in my daughters classes are being held back for not keeping up, so those kids are older. Don't look at it like she's being "left behind" they have that age limit for the very reason that they can't socially handle it. My daughter was born in June, and started normally at age 5, I wish I had held her back, becuz there really is a huge difference between her and the kids born in Dec. and January! Trust me! Your doing the right thiing!

I had the same fear when my daughter was younger. She has been reading since she was 2 years old, has been working with math (adding and subtracting) since she was 3, and has been holding actual conversations with adults (others understood what she was saying) since she was 2 1/2 yrs old.

Our big delima was that her birthday was not until the END of September. I struggled with it for a very long time but in the end we let her start school when the system allowed. Yes she was 6 yrs old and in Kindergarten. I discovered that yes, she was the oldest in her class, but not by much. You may be surprised at how many other "late" babies there are in her peer group.

In the meantime here are some suggestions to keep your child "on track" with their current learning trend. Check with your local Churches for Mother's Day Out Programs. These are AWESOME programs that help to jumpstart the learning process and reinforce what you are teaching at home. Yes, Teach At Home. This is very important! Continue to work with your child at home (only if they WANT to at this stage). I stress the "they want" part because once it stops being fun if you force it at this stage they may develop an aversion to learning. Make it FUN!

In the end, you need to remember that being Smart is only one part of the equation. It is also important for them to develop Socially. If you place them in a group of kids that are older than they are Socially, you may be setting them up to be bullied later on or develop low self esteem because they are the "smallest kid" or the "youngest kid."

I hope this helps :-)
D.
(mother of three: 21, 20, and 7)

Good news! Most kiddos start kindergarten at age 6-starting at age 5 is considered young. Many parents decide to hold their child back if they qualify for starting kindergarten at age 5. We decided, with much research and talking to his pre-school teacher, to send our son to kindergarten at age 5 because his birthday is in July.
If you decide on a public school, I'm not sure what your recourse can be because they go by state laws and would probably want to get her in the system before they make any suggestions to push her up a grade. But, a private school may offer some more lee-way. Just a thought! Congrats on having such a bright daughter!

I have 3 kids and they are all very bright and in the gifted program. I can only say from experience that they don't test for gifted through the school system (GCISD) until the end of Kindergarten. All of the K's get some "PAT" (Program for the Academically Talented) work and then the teacher, parent, and anyone else can recommend they be tested. I feel for you knowing your baby will have to start K when he's 6. I don't have any info for you there, all of mine have in school birthday's, so it hasn't been a problem (March, December, and February).

Good luck!

do her a favor and go ahead and keep her out. I did with 2 of my kids who made school, but only by 3 days. They look the age of the kids they are with. The bonus is that you will be sending an almost 19 year old off to college not an almost 18 year old. It really does make a huge difference for them socially. Both of my children were in the GT program so it had nothing to do with "smarts" and everything to do with a social maturity. I have never regretted having them be older. My oldest went off to college this year a very self assured confident young man. My daughter is in 4th grade and has done very well also.

The delays will show up when your child is in third grade. I will hold my daughter back because I want her to be the oldest in her class. She was born August 25. I want to give her every advantage. I would wait if I were you. I have talked to many people who have regretted sending their kids early.

L.

Your daughter will not be the only one going into school like this. There will be others in the class that have not be able to start school like yours. My son is 4 & not going to be able to start school until he is almost 5. He too is extremely smart. He is learning how to read & knows all the normal & then some. He knows sign language as well. He will just be ahead of the class & when he starts 1st grade we will let him skip a class if he's ready. It will be ok! My son's b-day is Oct 4th btw

Read "The Hurried Child" by Dr. David Elkind. You may look at your daughter's situation differently.

We had the same issue our son's birthday is September 5th and we had him in private school until he was in the 1st grade. He just turned 15, 2 months ago, and is a sophmore in high school. I have seen a little delay compared to his peers but nothing significant.