3 Weeks Til 8Th Birthday and My Son Still Wets the Bed

Updated on August 03, 2008
R.L. asks from Cleveland, OH
29 answers

How do I stop my to be 8 year old from wetting the bed? I can wake him up every hour while he sleeps and he still does it. Even as soon as he lays down and falls asleep he wets himself. I don't know what to do. I have even given him adult diapers to wear because he pees too much. I have thought of it to be due to all the medicine he takes to prevent his asthma from acting up. So, I don't know if I need to talk to his doctor about this or what. I never blame him or think it's anyone's fault. It's just that he does sleep pretty hard and it's hard for him to wake and if you do wake him up he sleep walks and/or starts yelling at me because he's still asleep and doesn't know what's going on. He does thinks it's embarrassing that he still pees and has to wear diapers and can't spend the night over peoples house. It's even embarrassing for me because I have to make up excuses why he can't spend the night to the people that wants him to spend the night.

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T.P.

answers from Canton on

I would definitely speak to his doctor about it. Sounds like something is up. My almost 8 yr. old son wets the bed, too, but only occasion now.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't know what to tell you about helping the bed wetting, but instead of wasting money on disposables, I'd get him cloth training pants instead. You can get "doublers" or just lay microfiber towels in them to soak up the extra.
Hope he out-grows it soon!

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M.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

My son wet the bed until after his 8th birthday. We tried several medicines and they did not work. We finally used the Malem Ultimate bed alarm. You can get it on wwwbedwettingstore.com. They are around $100, but well worth every penny. He had never had a dry night in his life until that point. It took 7 weeks, but he's been dry for almost 4 months. Now he spends the night with friends and no problems! Good luck!

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M.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have a daughter who will be eight in three months, and she still has a problem wetting the bed. We have had her tested for everything and not found a reason for it. Our doctor prescribed her a mdicine that is designed to increase the bladder over a period of time. It is called Tofranil. It is actually used a an anti-depressant, but taken in small enough doses it is supposed to grow the bladder so that your child needs to go less often. If this medication does not help her he mentioned a nasal spray that we could try as well. Hope this helps. please let me know. It is always nice to hear from mom's going through the same trials!

I am a mom of four girls ages 10,7,5,and 4. Married to a great man 11 years this Month!

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A.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

I would definitely address this with your doctor. My nephew had the same issues up until about age 9. It is more common in boys than girls. And some kids are just sound sleepers and the urge to pee doesn't wake them. My nephew had to have several tests, one that included having a catheter put in and checking that his flow wasn't obstructed. I think he was placed on medication for it also but I could be wrong. There was nothing wrong with him physically. I know it wrecked him psychologically though, he felt humiliated and saddened because he couldn't go on sleepovers. Just remember that it is probably h*** o* him also. I know, at times, it can seem so frustrating to you also. Talk to you doc and get some more info about the meds he's on already and what route to go from here. Good luck to you.

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R.T.

answers from Cincinnati on

R.,
Talk to his doctor! Not everyone is born with a strong bladder or some people don't have matured nerves that control the bladder. There are medications called DDAVP or Oxybutynin that may help. Try cutting down on the amount he drinks close to bedtime(if you haven't already)-try 8:00 cut off time and move it up to 7:00 if you have to, but definately talk to his pediatrician.

Good luck!
R.

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L.G.

answers from Lima on

I have not dealt with this myself, but I have friends who have.

I would suggest checking with your doctor on two things. First would be because of the medicine he takes. Second would be that he may have immature bladder. The bladder just isn't growing as fast as it should. Your doctor is the best place to start.

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K.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Definitely check with your doctor to rule out any medical issues. If you are in Cincinnati, they will send you to the Bedwetting Clinic/Pediatric Urology at Cincinnati Children's. They do a wonderful job. If there is not a medical issue, they will tell you to cut the 4 C's out of his diet - caffeine, citrus, carbonation and chocoloate, along with other tips, ideas and exercises. Check out their website: http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/info/growth/dia....

We ended up working with a clinic in Houston: www.hargitthousefoundation.com. Their program was what finally worked for us. You do not have to physically go there to use the program - it's all done online and telephone with their counselors.

Good luck!

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T.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

It does sound like sleep apnea. There are drug available, but the side effects are the child does not sleep. You need a good homeopath! My sister went through this too. She had much less trouble after puberty. But, most families do not want to wait that long. Ancient Chinese medicine or homeopathy will offer safe, no-side-effect solutions for your DS.

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F.R.

answers from Columbus on

Have you had his bladder checked? It may not be growing along the rate of the rest of his body. I would consult the DR. It isn't your son's fault, his bladder isn't workinf the way you want it too.

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J.L.

answers from Toledo on

My son had issues as well. I took him to a urologist and he suggested (after doing some minor tests to make sure all was funtioning well) a Potty Pager. You can order them online, they were about $60 a few years back. In a month he was basically cured. What it does is it vibrates when it gets wet and eventually it trains him to wake up before he pees. It was a rough month when we get it because you have to wear it with underwear not pull ups.

Good luck!!

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T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

Does he also "go" often during the day? My daughter (14) has been a bed wetter her whole life. Through a myriad of tests starting when she was four we discovered that she has no "sensation" or urge to urinate so even when we made her go to the bathroom she wouldn't empty her bladder because she couldn't tell it was in there. She is on a medication now that concentrates her urine overnight so her bladder doesn't fill as fast. Her bed-wetting is almost non-existent while she is taking the medication and she doesn't have to wear pull-ups anymore. Reducing the amount of fluids drastically after 7:00 p.m. and removing caffeine from her diet has also helped some. She sometimes has the urge to pee now but still nothing close to normal. I would stop the waking at night because not only does he need the sleep your bladder stretches when it is full and if he is urinating often it does not have time to get full and stretch which could also be contibuting to the problem. I definitely would talk to your doctor about this. As far as the spending the night thing my daughter was terrified at first but I would send her with a pull-up and a plastic bag for her to put it in when she got up to get dressed so she could just put it back in her bag of clothes or deep in the trash can. I would make sure that she always had pajamas on that wouldn't reveal her secret. After letting my daughter know I was doing it I would also talk to the parent, usually the mother, about her "medical" problem and ask that they make sure that if the other kids found out, that she explain that it was a medical condition that my daughter couldn't control. They were very understanding and my daughter never once said that her friends said anything mean to her or even commented on her wearing a "diaper." Just make sure he knows he is not alone. Hope this helps!

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Not sure what area you are in but Dr. Cheryl at Integrative Wellcare http://www.integrativewellcare.com/
does treatments that can ELIMINATE his asthma and any allergies he has. She was cured of her own Asthma and decided to go into the field because of it - We have had good luck with treating allergies with her.

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

I am sure you are limiting his liquid intake after dinner. It is time for medical intervention. They actually have a class type thing they can put him through with others who have the same problem he has. It has proven to be quite effective.

Yes, it is time to discuss this with your physicians.

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J.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

Bed wetting, as inconvenient as it is, can be disease related, a hereditary trait as it is in our family or a multitude of issues none of which have anything to do with his age. The child is as devastated as you are annoyed. So yes, speak with your doctor to see if there are other remedies. But don't put blame on your child. find solutions that minimize the damage to the bed and to your son's well-being.

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A.L.

answers from Columbus on

Sounds like you're in the same boat I was in a while back. My son takes Asthmanex and Singulair every night, has a Xopenex inhaler for flare-ups and is on weekly allergy shots. He's wet the bed ever since he's been out of diapers. It's very frustrating for both of us. Pull-ups are expensive and washing sheets all the time was a pain. I asked his doctors about it all along. They told me a few years ago that there was a nasal spray, but that they wouldn't medicate him til he was 10. I was upset they wouldn't let us try it, but I heard a few months back that that same nasal spray had been causing seizures in children and a few had even died. Glad he wasn't taking it! I bought 2 pads designed for adults with incontinence and he slept on them evey night (with pull-up too). Then, when he had an accident (most nights) I just had to wash one pad and I had a couple days to do it since I had 2 of them. I just resigned myself to the fact that he would outgrow it when the time came for him to and until then, we'd use the pads. He just turned 9 4 days ago and hasn't had an accident for about 5 weeks now. I know waiting it out seems hopeless sometimes, but that's what worked for me. I chose to not let myself or my son get stressed about it and just reassured him and now, we're so happy he's waking up dry!

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S.F.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Definitely talk to your doctor. He may have a bladder or kidney problem. There are medicines out there that help children control their bladders. My friend's nephew has this problem and the meds help him a great deal. He has to get up once a night, but other than that he will not wet the bed. This is a problem that runs in his family.

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L.T.

answers from Dayton on

My son had a friend(he has since moved away) who had wetting accidents until about 5th grade. His mom just let me know and we never told our son so no one ever knew as far as I know. He brought pull ups(or whatever he used) along and would always dress and undress in the bathroom and would take care of his business on his own. I think she did like another mother said and sent a bag with him to put it in because I never noticed it in our trash. He never missed birthday party sleep overs at our house or others. Sleep overs are such a big and fun part of growing up I hope you decide that your son is missing such a great part of childhood and allow him to go to and have sleep overs. Best wishes to you and your son.

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B.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hello, I know how frusterating this is. My daughter is going to be 8 in December and she still sometimes has accidents.(my nephew is 12 and still wets the bed) I ended up asking my sister when she was doing for my nephew, she had taken him to the DR and he was put on meds for it. I took my daughter to the DR and she put her on DDAVP, it is a med that helps them not wet the bed, we have gone from SOAKING the bed every night to maybe 1 very small tinkle every once in a while. I am glad I looking into it. I have a 9 year old son with Autism that takes this med every night also, he used to wet the bed too. He hasnt had but a handful of accident since tking it. Most of the time when they do have accidents is because I let them drink too much after our cut off time. (6pm) they can have sips after that but not a full glass. it seems to work out. Good Luck!!

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P.S.

answers from Bloomington on

I don't have much advice on how to stop your son from wetting the bed. However, I do want to encourage you to talk with his doctor. Bedwetting may be a sign of a physical ailment. His doctor can run tests to find out if this is the case or not. If there isn't any physical reason for this, then it could be something psychological that needs to be checked out. Your doctor can advise you regarding ways to prevent bed wetting. Hope everything works out ok.

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

My sister peed the bed for many years to our mother's dismay. She thought it was due to lasiness or too much to drink late in the day. He middle son peed the bed too for ever and so did my oldest grandson. We found out that both my grandson and nephew had too small of a bladder. Damion took medication to prevent peeing like some women do who have leaky plumbing as I call it. I on the other hand have a very large bladder but have stress incontinence. Have your son checked out. Damion didn't spend the night with anyone even us for years because he was so embarassed.

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S.P.

answers from Columbus on

Really be sure to let him know it is OK. Don't yell, don't talk down to him about it.
I wet the bed myself till I was 17 because of emotional problems. My parents made it worse by yelling at me. They tried sooo many things and it always made me feel like a horrible person, like I was doing something that made my parents hate me.
The worst things they did were the potty pager, adult diapers, and electro pants.

The best thing you can do is stop fluids 3-4 hours before bed and invest in a plastic mattrace or a plastic covering (like they have for furnature).

Also try having him wash his own bedding if it gets to be too much for you.

It's not his fault, it's not your fault.. he will grow out of it eventually.
Be sure to let him know you love him no matter what.
The things my parents did pushed me away from them for years because of it.

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C.B.

answers from Lafayette on

there have been several cases of older children wetting the bed up until their teens. i would take him to the doc. though just to rule out anything medical.

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D.S.

answers from Toledo on

My stepson wet his bed until he was 12. I'm sure that doesn't make you feel any better, but your son isn't alone. In my opinion, it's best to not make a big deal out of it. He might worry about doing it so much that he does it. Have you tried limiting fluids in the evening? I'm sure you probably have, but just thought I'd throw that out there. Also, do you have a plastic cover on his bed? That will help save the mattress. We have one on my stepson's bed - that way if he wets (which he hasn't in 2 years, but ya never know) then I can just change the sheets, wipe down the plastic and remake the bed. Just know that it won't last forever - he will grow out of it. My brother and my husband had the same issues when they were kids. It's actually more common than you might think.

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K.W.

answers from Evansville on

I have a 6 year old that has the same problem. We have talked to the doctor, and even tried medicine. The medicine did not seem to help him, but you may want to talk with your doctor. Our doctor keeps telling us that he will eventually grow out of it. I believe he said that it could take up to his 9th maybe even 10th birthday. It seems like forever. After that then he said that we could look at surgery, but he really did not seem to think we would need that. Good luck.

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G.F.

answers from Bloomington on

See his physician, he may be suffering from sleep apnea.
We had a son who was suffering from it. He did not find a relief til he was 24 when he finally found a doctor who would really listen to him.

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A.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

The first thing to do is to let him know that it is OK. It's not like he's doing it on purpose. It can be very embarrassing and damaging to the psyche if they feel ashamed of soiling themselves in bed.

My brother was a bed soiler (pee and poop) for quite a long time. He eventually grew out of it. But, talking with his doctor might be a good idea.

What about emotional stress? This can cause accidents sometimes. Or, if you are giving him liquids too late in the evening. We tried to stop fluids three hours before bedtime with our daughter (preparing for potty training), but it didn't work for her because she is always thirsty. But, your son is older and it might work better.

Love the idea of the potty pager too. Sounds like it might be something worth checking into.

I pray that you find a solution and that your son is handling this issue well.

God bless,
A.

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M.B.

answers from Cleveland on

WOW! I could have written this letter. My son and I had exactly the same concerns and responses. My advice? Talk to your doctor. Turned out that my son had a small physical defect - in layman's terms, the hole was too small, and when he urinated before bedtime and thought he was actually emptying his bladder, the small hole was actually forcing urine back into his bladder. He would go to the bathroom when he felt the urge, and thought he was emptying his bladder, but when he went to sleep and the bladder relaxed its squeezing, he wet the bed.
Ask your son if, when he urinates, does the stream sometimes appear to go sideways, in other words, not a straight stream directly into the toilet. That one simple question caused the doctor to know exactly what was happening with my son. A simple snip of the meatus done outpatient solved nine years of problems for us both.
Hope this helps - God bless you both

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R.M.

answers from Evansville on

My son is nine and has the same problem. He also is a severe asthmatic and has many allergies. He takes a lot of medication twice every day. We have tried an alarm that he wears on his underwear for over a year now and still no luck. You should definitely talk to the doctor. We did last year and that's when we tried the alarm. We are going to talk to the doctor again because he thought it was because he was sleeping deep and not waking up. I hope you find some answers. I know we need some ourself. It always helps to know someone else is going through some of the same things.

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