3 Month Loves the TV ?!?

I'm not against TV, in fact I LOVE it!

But, I personally don't like to let my boys watch TOO much of it - even as infants. Now, I will admit that my first son was a colicky-mess, so I would hold him and dance to Barney and he would fall asleep. But, I was willing to try ANYthing.

At 3 months, the whole world is new and engaging to them. I'd rather have my babies interacting with me or my husband.

I have read that tv watching in young children has been linked through research to inattentiveness, aggression and restlessness. My one year old doesn't watch tv. That being said, I am not militant about it...if there is something on that we're watching, she may glance at it but doesn't much seem to care. When she was younger, she was very interested in tv...the lights and images were fascinating to her. I just feel like I'd rather be interacting with my kid and reading to her than let tv teach her the ABCs or to count...which she'll learn when necessary. I'd rather her have the experience of personal interaction from learning with the people around her than memories of tv. My niece and nephew don't even notice you're there if the tv is on! When she is older, she can watch educational stuff...she'll be watching tv most of her life anyhow, why rush it? I think we can all stand to switch off the boob tube more than we do!

Please no TV! There have been studies done that suggest early television not only has the potential to lower a child's attention span but also slow the learning of verbal skills. Left alone, my son and then my daughter too, have always found other ways to play! I know a lot of moms see TV as that "much needed break" every day for them to get stuff done, but it truely does slow a child's learning instead of increase it. Instead, give your daughter a reasonable amount of toys (not too many or they get overwhelmed) to play with and see where his imagination leads to.

Everything a child or infant sees, hears, and touches affects their "living image" of the world that defines what everything is and should be. Don't let the television dictate what their world is like - let them touch and feel the real world instead, so they can develop their own understanding of it...

Please don't think I'm being harsh. Even *I* have allowed my kids to watch a Disney movie or two. But I do have a strong opinion on the television thing and know it's the right thing for my family.

Probably the unpopular vote but.... I don't think there is anything wrong with responsible TV watching and you sound like a responsible MOM! We are not a family that has the TV on all day but I like certain programs and so do my kids. There are times, as a family that we all watch a show together. My daughter loves unwinding from school by watching the TV. (She's a straight A-honor roll, avid reader, involved in sports, theatre and does a lot of volunteering; My son is a good student and sports-involved too! My kids were not ruined from TV. Exercise and academics is important to us!)

Sorry, I know there are LOTS of studies out there about how bad the boob-tube is for kids. I am a firm believer that TV's should not be allowed in children's rooms and you should know what your children watches. We also have always been big Disney fans and have enjoyed Disney Movies together! My daughter, at three, would watch Cinderella EVERYDAY (my saving grace - my son was just born!) Followed by Disney song video medley (could be what prompted her love for theatre!) My son loved Tarzan! And we all watched Lion King!

Being responsible and vigilant in what she watches/when/and how much, I believe makes that difference. Good luck!

Hi K.,

I would recommend that you turn the TV off (and keep it off as much as possible when your baby is awake). I've read that it's not good for children to watch TV before age 2 (and I would imagine it would be better if they didn't watch much after age 2). They can't process the information on the TV screen. While I don't think a little (non-violent) TV here and there will hurt her, you should try to go without as much as possible. I know this is challenging -- it's something I struggle with myself! Try reading a book when your daughter is playing. It's just as engrossing and won't affect her development or distract her.

Best,
R.

Television is really not good for kids of any age. I'd turn it off for now.

Have you ever looked at a child who is watching TV? Staring at the TV, not really moving and all slack-jawed? That's not "attention" it's more like "hypnotism."

I'm all for letting older children watch some TV, but too much is never good. She'll have better stimulation if you let her play :)

Without getting into a VERY long response I would NOT leave it on for a newborn at all. There are so many reasons why it is bad for them, especially at this young age. If you want her to develop up to par use your time with her doing interactive activities with social dynamics, not a screen. Sorry to be so abrupt but don't know how else to tell you its not a good idea.
I'm sure you're doing a great job!

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, they do not recommend TV viewing for children under the age of 2. There is less stimulation and interaction just sitting and watching then doing other activities.

That being said, you should make the personal judgement what is right for you. My son didn't watch TV until he was almost 2 (we were a little early) and we did a lot of book reading and playing. We played a lot of music too because this helps brain development and music has been shown to increase scores in math and science.

I also don't have the details of the research but TV watching has been linked to increases in ADHD.

I know I sound negative but working in a therapist capacity with kids and adolescents and working in education shows me that the more kids are watching TV the more there are behavior problems (maybe it's just that I'm working with behavior problemed kids and I see how much TV they watch....)

Good luck and remember, whatever decision you make is yours.

Personally, I'd turn it off. There was an article in Parents magazine about how television, even if just background noise, can possibly delay or prohibit speech/hearing. Your child has to filter through the noise in order to hear you reading her the story or interacting with her.

Now, I'm not a 'television is the devil' type of mom. My two year old loves Thomas and Elmo, but only gets to watch small amounts each day (like 25 minutes). If he had it his way, he'd plop down in front of the television all day long...but then he'd turn into one of those obese kids who does nothing but absorb screen time.

Everything in moderation!

I agree with moderation in all things. We kept the TV on for white noise when my oldest was young. He consequently can sleep through the apocalypse. As an educator, I feel that TV is fine so long as you are an active participant in what your child is watching. My oldest is 2 1/2 and is addicted to watching anything with the alphabet, numbers or shapes. Consequently, he knows his alphabet (lower and upper case), can count to 30 (and read numbers) and knows about 15 shapes. In fact, he re-taught me what a hexagon is!

I have a sister-in-law who is a TV czar/nazi/dictator. Much like anything, if you make a big deal about it being bad, a child is going to want to do it more.

This is obviously a lot easier said than done, but the child development specialists recommend that children under 2 years of age watch no TV and after that it be limited to 30 minutes per day. If the TV is never on, you would be surprised at how easily young babies entertain themselves with toys, looking around, etc... Good luck.

Everything that I've read says no tv for a child under the age of two, I do believe.

Personally I think tv should be limited for everyone in a home. I worked in a middle school for nine years and I can tell you there is a huge difference in those children who had no tv and those that do...and even those that have unlimited.

Television is a nice for entertainment...we all love it, but it is such a huge distraction to adults that could be doing better things with their time...reading to their kids, doing projects with their children, reading a book, doing home improvement and maintenance projects, showing their kids by example what it means to volunteer your time and efforts somewhere...

Then children that don't have tv are smarter, more creative, and, I think, better behaved.

Television is one of the biggest influences on our kids. If you don't believe that and you think you can counter-act what tv tells your kids by good parenting...then think about the millions and billions that are spent on television commercials by industries that know it has a direct influence on everyone that watches it. They wouldn't spend the money if it didn't work.

Turn it off and limit to when your little one is sleeping if you must watch it.

My 5 month old tries to stare at the TV too. I just turn him around to face me on the floor or on my lap ( I recline and prop my knees up so he can see me only). Then I watch my show and then play with him on and off. There isn't a reason why you shouldn't be able to watch but there is no benefit to her. It won't hurt her but seeing your face will teach her a lot more than the TV will ;)(also I am not against it..my 3 year old watches TV a few times a day)

All your daughter is doing is watching the colors and movement on the tv. I really dont see any harm in it really, unless you make a habit of sitting her down in front of it all the time which doesnt seem to be the case.

my son watched tv everyday. at 1 yr he was speaking multiple words and at 18 m he knew the alphabet. i just always made sure it was educational

You could wear your baby in a carrier while you do things so that she's safe and entertained. It's a nice option. A store called Be By Baby in Roscoe Village has different kinds of carriers. They're a lot better, more supportive than what you find at Babies R Us.

Wow! You are getting some harsh responses. I am an advocate of infants watching TV, but only with educational movies. I am a firm believer in the Baby Einstein series. My son, now 5 1/2, is incredibly bright and I truly believe that these Einstein movies helped encourage his development. He too could not keep his eyes off the TV. At 3 months, he could watch a 30 minute episode of Einstein...which is quite impressive. I believe that you need to stimulate bright children and this includes giving them something like the Einstein movies. Ofcourse watching it too much can be a problem but it sounds like you are giving your baby girl a lot of stimualation and doing a great job! Go you!

As a side note, my son skipped Kindergarten.

Hope this helps. Good luck.
N.

Hi K.,
I am smiling when I read the responses. I understand that all mothers have definite opinions regarding kids and television. I am a mother of three boys, and a family coach. My personal (and professional)opinion is that minimizing television is best for children, however, if your baby at 3 months feels like she is interacting with the characters on the screen it is not detrimental to her development. I would simply watch it with her and engage with her to discuss what she is seeing rather than using the tv as a sitter. If I can help further, please feel free to drop me a note here or at my site www.stepshelp.com
D.

I'm not sure I have a strong response to TV one way or the other. I've never used it as a sitter so that I can get things done, but I've also never been strongly opposed to it. I watched quite a bit of TV when I was nursing my son. He is tongue tied and spent a would nurse for longer than many children, and I'd have gone crazy without some TV to keep me busy while I nursed.
Since he's been old enough to crawl or walk, he mostly ignores much of what's on TV. My husband likes to turn on Curious George and Sid the Science Kid for him in the morning, and he dances to the music, but is always playing and busy with other things while the TV is on. He has never just sat and watched TV. There was one Baby Einstein DVD that he would stand and watch the entire time it was on, but otherwise he is happier just playing.

I wouldn't worry too much. My son watches TV if he is sitting in his swing (he's 4 mo). It sounds like you are a well rounded person with reading and exercising etc. I believe TV is ok in moderation, as long as kids are getting lots of other stimulation too - reading, play time, one-on-one time, and when they get older being active outside and pretend play. Go with your gut, by even asking the question it's clear you not a mother who is going to stick her kids infront of the TV all day. Don't let people make you feel guilty about letting your little one watch some TV. My 3 year old watches probably 2 hours throughout the course of the day, but we also read, play, color, and do lots of outdoor stuff in the nice weather. It's all a matter of balance. Good luck and go with your gut.

My daughter is 5 months old and does the same thing. I don't think they are "watching" tv as much as they see the bright lights and everything moving. My son was the same way at 5 months too and wants nothing to do with TV so I think it is okay. I really don't think that they are watching it because they can't understand. if you think she is watching it try putting on Baby Einstein for her when your busy or something.

Turn off the tv. Trust me - the time will come soon enough when she will ask, or maybe not. My oldest LOVES tv. My youngest doesn't care so much. Wait until she's old enough to ask for it.

Wow! A lot of responses. I would say that there are good things to be had from SOME T.V. watching. I would recommend that whatever you let her watch, you make sure it is "baby" friendly. There is a station called Baby T.V. They also have Baby Einstein DVDs and things that would be appropriate. I would make sure it is not too fast moving and has bright colors. Then, I would make sure the amount of time you let her see it is very limited. All of this can get out of hand when they get older, if you do not monitor it. : )

I work with kids for a living and have developed a pretty strong opinion on this topic, so I felt the need to respond, though I may be the last to respond by now (I was on vacation this week). I've learned from experience and studies DO prove that there is indeed a difference in brain development between children who view tv more than others. Regardless of what they are watching on tv (INCLUDING Baby Einstein, Sesame Street, etc!), with more tv viewing the brain development goes toward increased impulsivity, lowered attention span, increased aggression (I always thought of this term as them being meaner maybe from watching violence on tv when I heard about it from professionals, but from experience I understand it's more aggression in terms of intensity of behavior which makes a lot more sense, and goes along with impulsivity...they just tend to be more intense/stronger in their behavior). As occupational therapists will tell you as well, the trend toward more tv, computer, and video games geared toward young children has brought more business to them because all that screen time hinders fine motor development. Kids NEED to play and manipulate things and interact with things to develop their brain and understanding of the world. The BEST toys for a child's development are various ones that require no batteries/power source. Genetics and who they are by nature of course plays a part and of course determines how susceptible the child is to the influence to some degree I'm sure, but studies show that tv is associated with increased impulsivity, increased aggression, and lowered attention span...and I've really seen correlations in kids I've worked with! 3 months is young to worry too much about them wanting to watch tv, but it IS the time to determine world view and what you want to prioritize, so it's great you are thinking about it so early. She will be perfectly content playing with toys and the regular "old-fashioned" toys really help development...the colors and movement on tv draw the attention of babies, but it's really not good for their development to place them in front of the tv, as the studies show! They don't "like" it so much as it is instinct for them to watch the changing movements on the tv, from what I understand/have read. Personally, I made the decision that we will not own video games or watch tv routinely. So my kids do watch tv occassionally, but by no means is it daily. They consider it more like a fun movie night when we watch something, as opposed to just part of life. I use it when I'm in desperate need of getting something done (like taxes this time of year when I can't do it all while they are in bed) or special occassion. We're intentional about it. Honestly it's more in the winter (though still not every day by any means) than in the summer as they can spend a lot of time outside in the summer and we all get cabin fever in winter a bit. But I made the decision early to keep tv out of routine at home and not own those trendy video games, so it's not a temptation or slippery slope for it to become daily routine. They play computer games at the health club sometimes, and video games sometimes at friend's houses or McDonald's playland along with the tubes there. I feel I don't need to limit it other places if it's just not so available all the time at home. Make sense? It's so easy to rationalize that I hear many people believe it's not too much at home if they are at school all day without it, or that it's just an hour or two a day. An hour or two a day is A LOT, and studies show that's plenty for there to be a negative effect. "Too much tv" I've found is a VERY relative thing because nobody wants to think their kid watches too much tv, but it can be such a slippery slope. Some also rationalize saying their child is not even watching the tv, but their show is just on while they play...oftentimes this is because they no longer maintain the attention span to watch it and need to be doing other things at the same time, revealing the hard time that may be to come when they need to focus in school and such. Music would be a much better option if background noise is what's wanted. To do your own research, look for valid sources when you google "toddler and televion viewing", "attention span and tv", stuff like that. The professionals say that under 2 years old, they should watch NO tv, which is a bit unrealistic if the parents watch tv shows which most do, but the reason for that is because the young brains are still developing so much and the way they develop is PERMANENT structure, so sitting them in front of the tv intentionally, or allowing it to be routine as they become toddlers really does them a disservice as it could lead to a lifelong struggle with paying attention to the task at hand, a struggle with impulses, etc. So Kudos to you for doing your research now and being intentional about it!!! :)
Something else I wanted to add is that educational tv shows do teach kids things fast so parents will often get excited about all their kids learns from tv, but what the shows fail to do is teach them HOW to learn. So that's great they know ABCs early and such, but I'd much rather them learn and discover through manipulating and interactions so they can learn HOW to learn and explore and gain that love for learning and discovery on their own that they can carry on throughout school years! If it takes a little longer to learn ABCs and 123's, what's it matter in the long term if they are learning in the process how to manipulate, learn, and discover. What good will it do as they grow older to have known facts early if it becomes a constant struggle to stay focused to learn what they need to in the school years. Make sense?

I personally don't see the problem with some tv. At your daughter's age she is most likely more entertained with the colors and things like that than actually ""watching" tv. I noiced that with one of my kids. They are fine eith not watching it, but she would look at the colors ad flashed of light.