2Nd Baby Shower

i think the appropriateness depends on the motivation. but then, i never care for showers as a source of stuff. a reason to get together, celebrate and pamper someone? always a great idea.
how on EARTH do you deal with a toddler, a pregnancy and a puppy?????
:O
khairete
S.

Its very common now. They are often referred to as a "Sprinkle" rather than a shower. Its a way of celebrating each and every life and not making one seem more important than the next.

You deserve to celebrate every pregnancy and every baby! If friends want to throw you a shower, relax and enjoy it. Our friends have been doing things a bit differently for second (and even third) children. We've gone out to tea, gotten manicures together, had big brother/sister parties or gone out for dinner. It's nice to have those last few hours when you get to be the special one ;)

Congratulations!

Hi C.,

I've always been from the background that a baby shower is a good idea for each child because in our family we always have one of each gender. I had a girl first and the baby shower was all pink and all the stuff she got was pink. There were a few things that were not, but when my son came along the pink stuff was not appropriate in my husband's opinion so a baby shower was really helpful.
For you a baby shower would be a good idea because you're tired and like every other woman out there we love to be pampered. If you're neighbor offered, let her throw you one. You'd be surprised some of the things you'll get and find out you really needed them. Hope this helps. Have fun and relax, you deserve it.

From what I understand, you do not traditionally have a shower for the second. But I would say if the people are totally different (as in you moved or something similar) and the hostess stresses it will be low key, I think that would be ok.

C.,

GO FOR IT! I would encourage a second shower. Whoever you decide to invite, I'm sure knows you pretty well.. Those who are unable to support financially, more than likely, depending on the relationship you have with them, will tell you they are unable to give at this time. Maybe a later date! If you feel this will be the case with most or all of your intended guest, then I say have an intimate gathering with a few close friends or post pone to a later date..
I wouldnt suggest you make this decision of not having a second shower for everyone..Let them decide.. If you get, GREAT.. If not, it's still ok. Showers should never been the end all, be all, to our babies having what they need in the first place..The things we get from others are extra's and gifts..You know?

Go for it.. Have the second shower. Congrats!!

While some may see it as crass and greedy, it's not. You still need diapers and wipes (it's common to have a diaper/wipes shower for hte second), but there are so many other needs, especially for babies born in different seasons or different genders. Plus, there is new information on bottle safety (BPA free) and some things you just need (probably) like diaper rash cream, baby lotion, etc. Even if you don't get new clothes and toys, there are so many things to buy. My mom told me she was going to throw me a shower for my daughter (second child) and then never did. We had to go buy everything at the last minute, and the costs were unbelieveable--just for diapers, wipes, and the other little things I mentioned. We also did want girl clothes for her since my first was a boy. Also, she was born in winter and he was a summer baby-so almost nothing overlapped for us. Enjoy the shower, and congrats!

It seems to be pretty common now. Friends threw me a surprise shower when I was expecting my second. My first child was a boy and 4 years older than my second, so I did need to replace many items and the shower helped a lot.

The reasoning behind having a baby shower was to help first time parents. All the necessary items needed for baby was overwhelming in the expense department. So friends and family helped by "surprising" mom with a shower of gifts. These showers usually provided bedding, strollers, high chairs, playpens, carseats and small necessary items. Remember - no one knew what sex the baby was. So moms did not get all the extras for girls and boys. And everything was used again for the second and third child. The pinks and blues came from the birth gifts and christening gifts. What I now see, because of knowing the sex of the baby, showers are pink and blue. Soooo, when the second baby comes along and is the opposite sex the whole layette is needed again, friends/family know this. And so goes the "birth" of second showers. I like the idea of going out and celebrating the coming baby, but not second showers.

I never had one for my second, but I wish I had. I felt like no one was as excited about the second as they were the first. All children should be celebrated. Do not feel that it is greedy.

I think it's perfectly fine to celebrate the birth of every child. I had two girls and for the 2nd shower, we did a diapers, wipes, formula (I couldn't breastfeed) shower. And there was a Starbucks card drawing. We waited until after the baby was born so that everyone could meet her. It was about 6 weeks after I think. It was so fun! People still brought little outfits, and they felt great about it and happy to bring them. My first daughter was born in the summer and my second in the winter. So, the newborn clothes were needed. It was just nice to get together with all my family and friends too. So have fun!!! Congratulations!

I had a shower for my second child. There were things I needed and my friends were kind enough to throw a shower and I got everything I needed. I also got alot of diapers and clothes! You can never have too many diapers. And I had a great time hanging out with friends and sharing baby stories.

I could never figure out why 2nd baby showers weren't considered appropriate....to me, it's about celebrating a new life, not just a "present grab"! Besides, 2nd (and 3rd, and 4th!) babies need things too -- maybe not furniture, but certainly diapers & supplies, new clothes (besides the stained up onesies from Baby #1), etc.

I say go for it and enjoy!

All of my girlfriends (as well as myself) have had a "girls' night out" versus a shower. We each selected a reasonably priced restaraunt, the hostess sent out the invites saying "lets toast "Amy" and the upcoming birth of her new baby!". The hostess reserved the right size table, brought a cake, and the guests paid their own tabs. They all brought a little gift - little outfits etc. Because all of us had children it was nice for everyone to get out - they didn't feel like they were being asked for a gift, just to celebrate. Everyone neaturally bought a gift though.

We picked Mosaic in Richmond, because you order from the counter, and pay for your food, and then you are seated and they bring your food to you - this made it easy for everyone to pay for their own dinner with no confusion.

a second baby shower should depend on your need for items for the second child. It is up to you if you want one or not, really the purpose is for people to get together and buy your baby things because it is such a joyful time.

I threw baby showers for my friend's first and second baby. If a friend wants to celebrate this wonderful event, it is not "crass and greedy". However, since you probably have most of your baby gear and other stuff from your first child, maybe do something a little different than traditional gifts. The second shower I threw for my friend was a Casserole Party. Everyone was asked to bring a prepared meal frozen (or suitable for freezing) so in those busy early days at home with the new baby and older sib, all she had to do was grab something from the freezer and toss it in the oven. Everyone was thrilled to do it, and the new mom appreciated the help!

C.,
I think that a baby shower is for the baby no matter if it is the first or the fifth.
With my first pregnancy, I had three showers. One was given by my job, one from my mother's job and then one at my house.
For my second pregnancy, I had a shower at my house that was given my by aunt. My coworkers didn't give me one, but since I hadn't been on that team that long I did not expect one.
I have never heard a rule about to shower or not for a second child. If you do have one I hope you enjoy it.

People are doing this more and more. It's just an excuse to have a little party. Don't fret. My best girlfriend and her niece were dying to throw a shindig for my number 2 as we were living states away for number 1. I didn't register and she made it clear it was just a celebration and excuse to have brunch with no boys;) My gifts were all in the 10.00 range and some were hand made. They were all wonderful and much appreciated. If left to our own devices you'll find people will be thrifty and thoughtful and with no pre set list of what you want people are free to get something they'd like to get you and the baby rather than something they are obligated to, making shopping fun.

Just enjoy, play silly games, eat cake aand celebrate the new baby yet to be. Congratulations!!

It is not crass or greedy. If your neighbor offered, why not. A lot changes in 2 1/2 years AND gets worn out. If you don't "need" anything let it be known. Do you know what you are having? If it is a girl a shower would be a good thing. I have thrown a few friends of mine baby showers for their second & third children. It is a good way to celebrate and most moms understand wanting to celebrate EVERY child..gifts or not. Good luck.

C.....that is wonderful! Please allow your neighbor to bless you with a baby #2 shower. So many people want to bless you and the baby...why not let them have fun while doing so? LOL We all love parties, especially baby showers.

One friend I know had a "diaper only shower." All guests were encouraged to bring only diapers, of various sizes, for gifts. What a GREAT savings for her that turned out to be! She had so many diapers I don't think she had to buy any EVER! LOL

Best of luck to you and your little ones!

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys and married to my Mr. Wonderful for 15yrs. I love helping other moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach their goals! Dream! Be sure to teach your children how to dream.

C.
I felt the same way after my first. I had one for my second and did not feel comfortable with it before during or after. A suggestion might be is to have a ladies gathering and instead of gifts they either bring a frozen meal for after the baby comes or they sign up for a night to bring your family dinner. In this day and age we have to start getting down to the basics and a meal that you don't have to think about is more then you can imagine. Good luck!
E.

i had two. the first one you get things you need and you usually need everything. the second time if the sex is different you get outfits and then things that you run out of. when you register only register for things you need not would like to have if it makes you feel better. to me a shower is just a fun way to get together and they are giving gifts to the baby not you anyway. and afterall this is a new baby not your first one. if you still feel uncomfortable then have a welcoming party instead here the same people will come after the birth to meet the baby and if they choose to give a gift then they do if not then they dont.

I have 5 kids and I think I may have had showers for four of them. The showers I had for the third, fourth and fifth child were held AFTER the baby was born. (the first 3 were girls so everyone knew once I had a boy I'd be stuck for clothes, etc.) Because we are military I don't think any one person came to more than one shower because we lived in a different place every time. I really think the shower is not about getting stuff -but that's fun too, it's more about celebrating a new little baby that's coming or has already come into the world. I don't know many women who
turn down the opportunity to get out of the house and enjoy some good food and good friends. Look at it that way...you're doing them a favor! : )
Also, when I had the fifth and had plenty of clothes, equipment, etc, my friend threw me a "Disposable Shower." Everyone brought diapers (all sizes), wipes, shampoo, lotions, tylenol, mylecon, bottle liners, and it was fantastic! I don't think I bought that boy diapers for about 3 months and that was so much more help than another yellow outfit. Either way, I say have fun and enjoy! M.

I have not heard of having a full scale baby shower for a second child unless there was a big gap between kids. However, if your friends really want to I don't see anything wrong with it.

C.,

1st - Congratulations on #2!

I had a shower for #1, no shower for #2 (2 years later) and a shower for #3 (4 years later, new state with different people). Although #1&2 were girls and #3 turned out to be a boy, we did not know the sex before any of them were born.

Here's an idea I have not seen in the responses so far - In my playgroup, we would throw small showers for Moms having #2 or 3 and include the children by giving the big-sister/brother to be "big sister" or "big brother" gifts from their playgroup friends. Was really cute and the kids loved being included. For the Mom, we either gave on big gift from the group, or small gifts from individuals. This was a lot of fun and a number of Moms gave gifts for the Mom to pamper herself, not the baby.

Good Luck!
~ B.

You can TOTALLY have a baby shower for each baby - not greedy at all! Each child is separate and special and deserves new things! Plus, there are always newer models, etc than before, so it's nice to keep up to date....and women always love those types of things, so they will want to participate and celebrate with you in this special time, even if they had been to the first child's baby shower, or not....especially if someone offered to throw it for you - why not? Have fun and don't worry about it. :)

A second baby shower isn't all that odd any more. If your friend wants to throw you a party, but you don't want or need any more baby stuff, suggest she make it a freezer shower. I had one of these a long time ago. Everyone brought a simple main dish (along with the recipe) that I could stick in my freezer until after that 2nd child arrived. Then, when I was just too tired to even think about cooking after caring for an infant and a toddler all day (my 1st 2 are only 15 months apart), I could just defrost and heat the main dish, supplement with a simple side or 2, and we could still all eat a healthy dinner together as a family. Not only did my family eat well without my having to cook, but I gathered some new recipes for dishes that I knew my family liked.

I have no problems giving, getting, or going to a 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th baby shower for the same mom. Who ever said you can only have one for your first child and never any more for the rest. I dont know where that came from but its a popular misconception. A baby shower is to celebrate a new life and give gifts if you like.
The last 2 showers that I had anything to do with I gave them AFTER the baby was born and it was more of a 1st "birthday", welcome baby, congrats mom thing. That way everyone got to see the new baby and the mom wasnt bombarded for weeks w/ visitors and calls and questions and people asking for pictures.
You have to of course run this by the mom to see at what age she would be comfortable exposing her baby to so many people at once. And by all means, to all attendees of such events, please make sure you and your household are well for at least a week prior to attending, so that the new baby doesnt catch anything. Some people do NOT think of this...had to throw it out there.

Hi C.,

My sister planned to have a second baby shower for me with my daughter. I have a son who is almost 4 and my daughter is about 1 1/2 now. My sister lives out of state and she planned it a little late in my pregnancy so I wasn't able to make it. So everyone who was invited sent me the baby gifts. For me, it really helped because I had all boy stuff and needed the baby girl stuff. I don't think it's a big deal having a second baby shower, especially if you need some baby stuff:)

C., I would say that it's not appropriate to have a second shower at this time. The things that make it ok are these:

1. You're having a baby of a different gender than the first
2. You're having another baby after several years and hadn't planned for it so gave all of your old stuff away
3. Something happened in your life that has left you without your first batch of baby gear (i.e. house fire, natural disaster etc.)

I would say no to a shower this time around, just tell her that you don't feel right about it because you already have so much stuff. Tell her that you will register in case anyone is dying to get something for the new baby, but you'd just as soon re-use what you already have.

___________________________________________________________

Sorry to edit my response, but I came back and read some of the other responses and I feel compelled to add a few things.

Let's talk about definitions here: The definition of a baby shower is a party given FOR the new parents (not FOR the baby) for the express purpose of helping offset the financial burden of having a baby. A shower invitation, by definition, brings with it the REQUIREMENT to bring a gift. The purpose of a shower is to provide the new parents with a great deal of the items they will need for the baby.

Parents that already have a baby, already have a great many of these items and it would be greedy to have a party where people are REQUIRED to bring gifts that AREN'T necessary.

I am not saying that each life shouldn't be celebrated, by all means, have a welcome home baby, or happy impending delivery party if you want in order to celebrate, but a shower is meant to "shower" you with gifts. Gifts which you don't need and in this difficult economic time, would be rude to ask people to spend money on.

Hi C. and congratulations! I was actually in this situation as the one ASKED to throw a shower for a person's second child. (A little different take, mind you, since I was asked and I didn't iniate the idea.)

She was due with her second daughter, and knew of the sex beforehand. And her daughter had the exact same birthdate (and ended having the same birth day) as the older sister, who was three years older to the day (hence, she had lots of clothing and color appropriate items.) The ideas I thought of were:
-A "sprinkle" shower idea, just smaller items she needed or wantedthe mother-to-be.
-A Freezer Party -everyone brought a meal to freeze, and a small bowl of the same item to pass around and taste.
-A Spa party...a themed party for pamerp items for mom
-A Diaper Party -everyone brings a pack of diapers

She wanted the sprinkle shower, because she wanted to register and honestly, I think wanted the goods. I was suprised, as most folks who came didn't end up getting items off her registery (even though, included that info on the invitation.) She ended up getting things like more clothes, blankets, bibs, bath items, etc. Nothing she truly needed.

So...in the end, I think she may have actually been disappointed. But of course, that was on her and I had offered up different ideas for her to pick from. My advice would be, if you decide you want to accept, think about what you truly may want/need after the baby arrives, and ask for the appropriate shower theme idea. And of course, be gracious! :)

Good luck!

I'm going through the same question at the moment. I didn't want anything large (with lots of presents like the first one!) There is much we kept from the first one, or loaned to friends. All we need is a infant swing and clothes newborn - 6 months.
So my family and I decided on a "meet the baby party" about a month or so after its born, when the gender will be known. People will know then if it's a boy or girl and can bring a small gift such as an outfit or toy to say hello to the wee one. My guest list will be pretty much the same, so I thought this was a good way to creatively invite everyone over to celebrate the new birth!

Wow! I really thought 2nd showers were inappropriate, but there were some convincing arguments here. I love the idea of pampering, and celebrating a new life.

However, I do worry that our culture seems to think everything needs to be brand new. Hand me downs are great!

I think its okay. I love hosting baby showers for all babys. Usually when its a non-first, we key things down, but since the guest list will be mostly different, I don't see where that should be a problem either. Also, you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings. I turned down a second baby shower, and the person that was wanting to host was hurt, and then it turned out that she had already bought me some things, but wasn't sure about how and when to give them to me...
So go for it and enjoy being the center of attention for the day.
M.

Hi C.,
I would say to each their own. If you want one, go for it. If not, then decline. I am due in May and we are having another little girl. Our daughter will be 18 months when her little sister is born and I do not want a shower. We have everything already and just need to get little things like new wash clothes and a few bottles to supplement. The only big thing we need is a double stroller and we're going to get that.
My best friend is also due in May with another little boy and her mom wants to throw her another baby shower. She's not feeling it, but her mom really insists. I'm sure it's going to happen if I know her mom, she a great person and just loves her grandkids, and I'll just buy an outfit and enjoy the company at the party, no biggie. They weren't going to put anything big on the registry, they plan on buying those things anyway.