Hello all,
I could use some help. Our 2 year old twins (27 months old) are suddenly not sleeping at night. They had been wonderful sleepers as of 6 nights ago, sleeping 11 hours per night and only occasionally making a whimper during the night and were able to self soothe back to sleep.
So, Six nights ago, my husband and I went to put the kids into their cribs at bedtime and all hell broke loose.
They both went hysterical and both climbed out of their cribs! They were sharing one room at the time. They climbed over the crib the entire night and we were sleepless listening to hysterics. We did what most would say to do and that was pick them up, return them to their cribs. We did this all night and we kept the conversation short and said it's bed time. They continued to jump out over and over. Every night since then they have been hysterical crying mommy and daddy all night long.. well not screaming but even worse.. hyperventilating, screaming. They completely lose it when we leave the room and this has never happened before 6 nights ago. They used to go into bed without a problem.
We feel pretty overwhelmed with the inability to get them to sleep. We have resorted to putting a gate in each doorway, which they keep climbing over, so that did nothing. We tried the safety door knobs on the inside of the door, and they have managed to take them off.
We have listened to a lot of advise and spit up the twins into their own bedroom and transitioned them into Toddler beds which is their original crib with toddler rail. It has now been two nights in their separate bedrooms in their toddler beds and it's been horrible.. just as the few nights before.
It seems as though if I get one of the kids to settle down, then the other child in the next room over seems to go hysterical, and my daughter or vise versa hears the screams and starts joining in. Then they climb over the gates and continue to scream relentlessly together until they are scooped up by either myself or my hubby and put back into their beds only to start the hysterics the second we go to leave the room.
We are at such a loss!!
I have even brought my daughter in bed with me and my husband has gone into my son's room and slept the night in there, jumping up at his screams during the night to soothe him. I can't believe that this has happened. I don't want to start poor sleep habits just because we are exhausted and are looking for ways to get to sleep.
This has had me crying everyday, tired and feeling defeated. Is there a solution to these nighttime woes?
Please help! Any suggestions or advise is welcomed. :) Do we continue to go and calmly put them back into bed, do we let them cry all night for hours on end, or what?? I'm sure most parents have gone through this and we aren't alone, but with twins this seems to be a bit more challenging.
Again, thanks for any input.
Thanks!
I'm confused. Were they sharing a bed up until 6-7 nights ago? Sharing a room? What changed? Change it back.
Think about this for a minute from THEIR perspective. ALL their (short) lives they've had someone right there next to them. Now, suddenly, they're ALL ALONE.
Wouldn't YOU be scared and hysterical if that happened? How easy is it for you to fall asleep in in bed when your husband of years isn't there? I know *I* have a helluva time falling asleep.
Instead of isolating them in separate rooms, why not let them share a room? Then, when they get older and want their own space, move them to separate rooms?
I don't know for certain, I'm not a twin, nor am I a parent of twins, but it seems to me like they still need to be together at night. This is all just my common sense talking too, so take my opinion for what it is: my opinion and attempt at common sense. :)
Would they sleep in a bed together? I think separating them along with new beds is too much of a change, especially when something had obviously upset/scared them. Maybe the security of each other would help. Or, you could try the supernanny way. You put them in bed and sit on the floor silently looking at the floor. If they get up, do not speak but gently return them to bed. Repeat until asleep. Each night sit closer to the door. Eventually you will sit in the hallway. The goal is to wean them from needing you. Another gentle option is to put their mattress on your floor. They will have the security of having you nearby without you having to share your bed. I firmly believe that bedtime should be a happy, safe time. They should feel good about going to sleep. Hopefully this stage passes soon.
Also, I disagree about them needing less sleep. My children needed 14 hours of sleep each day at that age. My 19 month old sleeps 12-13 hours each night and takes a 3-4 hour nap each afternoon.
Try putting them in sleeping bags on the floor next to your bed.
Separation anxiety, and their imaginations might be kicking in as well as nightmares.
It can take awhile for them to get through this stage (years for some).
Our son started coming to us in the night when he couldn't fall back to sleep and we took him back to his room every time.
He got smart (at about 3) when he came to us without waking us up and just started tucking himself in at the foot of our bed.
We woke in the morning and we found him holding onto my foot sleeping away peacefully.
We all started getting a lot more sleep.
It will take some time for them to outgrow it.
I almost think it's an instinct left over from out cave man days.
Young on their own in the wild is prey.
Toddlers who slept near adults survived longer than those who didn't.
Put them in same room and let them share a bed. Might work.
I would decide where you want them to be sleeping long term and stick with it. If they are going to share, move them back together. If not, be consistent with their own rooms. Toddlers sleep patterns change, and they've been through some big transitions with new rooms and new beds. My 2 year old that had slept through the night since he was a week old went through a period a month or two ago where he would lay in bed for hours and talk and yell and sing and NOT sleep. We were at a loss as to what to do. After about 2 weeks, he was back to his old self. Just stick with it, put them back to bed and do your best to function on little sleep knowing it's temporary.
If you put them in bed with you, or you or hubby sleep in their rooms than that is what they are going to get used to. You want them to get used to sleeping on their own. Look at their rooms, do they have a night light or lovey? My son loves his glow worm thingy, when he wakes up at night he turns it on himself and it calms him until he goes back to sleep.
As far as too much sleep, I don't think so! My son sleeps about 12 hours a night, plus an hour or two nap in the afternoon. Any less and he is a mess. How are they functioning during the day? If they are tired and cranky, then they are not getting enough sleep. When are they napping? We did learn with my son's recent changes that if he naps past about 3:30-4 then he will be wired and up until 10 or 11. So, now naptime is earlier, and if he's not asleep by 3 or so then I get him up and know that bedtime will be super easy that night. Good luck, I know it's exhausting, but this too shall pass!
I would cut out naps. It is a start. Not the solution...but a big start.
Did something happen six/seven days ago to trigger this? Did they have an experience or watch something that could make them anxious? If you could figure that out then soothe their anxiety it might help.
Putting them in toddler sleeping bags might help prevent the climbing. I don't think there's any reason to split them up. It could be adding to the whole mix.
You've done a good thing getting them into toddler beds, it's nearly too late for that. The other thing is they'll need to switch up to big beds before too long. Baby bed mattresses aren't made for bigger kids, they have a weight limit on them. The springs start poking the kids because they're just too heavy for a baby's mattress.
The other thing is, if they were in regular size bed you could just go lay down with them and go to sleep for the night. Too bad you can't just put them in your bed so you can get some rest.
They still need a nap, they do, seriously. They'll have to lay down to nap clean through part of kindergarten.
11 hours of sleep at night is a lot of sleep for a 2 year old, with a 2 hour nap that's 13 hours per day, over half their life per day. They don't need that many hours sleeping.
Do you work? Do they get up every day to go to child care? If not, what time do they get up on a normal day?
If they're getting up late then start making noise about 30 minutes before they'd normally be waking up. This way they'll wake up on their own. I'd also try waking them up about half an hour early from their naps too. If they're out solid this might not work. Them getting rest might be more important if they are out really deep.
Sleeping next to them for a couple of weeks will most likely stop this cold. Their little bodies will get back on that biorhythm. Put them in your bed and get some rest. It's much easier to work on sleep issues when you've got your system back on track and everyone is rested.
