26 Month Old in Parent/Tot Swim Lessons- Its Not Going Well

Updated on July 20, 2011
S.G. asks from Rocklin, CA
8 answers

The week before 4th of July, we had our first parent/tot swim lesson. My husband was in the water with my son. The instructor had the entire class dunk their heads under the water. Every kid in the class did fine except for my son. He didnt like it and cried. So, we tried again during the same class to push him through his fear. He cried even more (the entire rest of the class). (probably one of those parenting mistakes we cant take back). It killed me to see him cry like that and I wasnt sure if we would get him back in a swimming pool anytime soon. So, we spent the next week talking about swimming and how it was so good that he dunked his head under the water and I kept making it exciting that we were going to go swimning again. On 4th of July, we spent the weekend at my sisters pool and he went in several times with me and loved it. (no head dunking though).. So, I thought we would try lessons again but this time I would go in the pool with him thinking he may be more comfortable with me? As soon as we got to the edge of the pool, before we even got in the water, he began to cry....and cried the entire class saying he wanted to go "bye bye". The teacher said this is a 9 week class and he has seen kids cry for the first 3-5 weeks and that I should just keep bringing him. I cant help worry that I am doing the wrong thing. It is obvious he is scared and it has something to do with that class, pool, or instructor. He is fine in the bathtub. I dont want to put him through unnecessary angst but I also want him to be a good, strong swimmer. Does anyone have an experience like this they can share?

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm wondering why it was so important for the children to dunk their heads under the water. It seems to me that you might want to keep him out for this year and try to find a program next year with people who are a little more sensitive to the kids' needs.

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S.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I would skip the lessons this year. He associates the dunking with that particular pool and will most likley cry every time. Since he was okay at your sisters pool, perhaps you could try swimming there as often as possible and just get him used to the water there. My daughter was one of those who was deathly afraid of dunking her head. So when she was little my mom and I would throw her back and forth in the pool (which she loved) catching her a little lower each time we were there, until eventually she was going under water. It worked for her. I know you can't take it back, but for anyone else reading this, I would never dunk a kid on the first day of swim class. You never know how they will react to being dunked and that one act will make or break the swim lesson.

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T.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Okay....first of all I have to say that what you are doing is great! I started my son out swimming at 12 months - in a parent-tot class. Sure, he cried but you know what? He got over it. I told him that he was learning to be a fish. Obviously your son likes the pool (at your sister's) so he is not afraid of the water. If I was you, every time he is in the water, make such a big deal about how proud you are of him and that he is doing great. He will get (and love) it eventually. Don't let the crying get in the way. Last....treats after lessons work great too!!
Good luck and don't give up! I would rather have a pissed off kid than a drowned one!

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

The same thing happened here. All the other kids seemed to love the class, but NOT my daughter. When the teacher took her, the crying became even worse. My husband and I both gave it a try with her. She absolutely hated it. I couldn't stand seeing her look so traumatized. For the remaining classes we just observed from the side. I was not going to force her and disrupt the rest of the class with her screaming. She remained loving to go play in the pool with us, though. It was the class setting that she did not like, for some reason. The following year we had her go to swimming lessons...some group and some private. She absolutely loved it and to this day loves the water.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I had a similar experience.

I just sidelined the lessons for a year, and then went to a different swim school. That time around, at age three, it was great. Now she is 9 and on the local swim team with her little sister! I'd let him have a break and try again in a year or so. Give him water exposure in a fun environment whenever you can in the meantime. And think about joining a swim team when he becomes 5 or 6. My six year old progressed as much in the first two weeks of swim team than she did in three years of weekly lessons!

Good luck!
L.

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Z.M.

answers from San Francisco on

24 months is a bit young to push the dunking issue.... didn't they have you dunk yourself first? (to show it's okay?) I suggest you keep up the "water fun" side of it, but not dunk this year.

When the child is older, we used to sit on deck and watch kids cry and cry when mommy was there, but we would show mom where they could go around the corner and hide, but watch. Sure enough the child (at 3) could self-soothe or get distracted or something. I saw one little boy cry at the beginning of swim lesson for like 4 days in a row, but the period was shorter and shorter, and he could eventually participate.

My daughter was something like 5, and could swim with floaties... but when those came off she freaked out. Then it had to be goggles. (ugg!) still freaked out about the first level of the American Red Cross system our city does. Didn't want to put her head under the water.... but they look up to teens and they talked her into it.
By the end of that summer she was begging to swim every day, and join a swim team. (Which she LOVES)

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J.S.

answers from Sacramento on

My son has always been very hesitant at swim lessons. When we did the parent/tot class last summer (he was 2 1/2), he spent at least the whole 1st week (of a 2 week session) with his panic face on. He HATED being dunked, too. I think that at this age, the goal is just to get them used to being in the water and comfortable with it, and I think it's pretty common for young ones to be a bit scared. This summer, he's 3 1/2 and threw a huge fit the first day of class. We finally got out of him that he was scared he was going to fall in. He's a bit older than your son, but we just reassured him over and over that there would always be someone holding on to him and that he would be safe. On the first day the teacher had to pick him up and take him in the water. He was never excited to go to class, but once there, he was fine and did well. I think if you have other opportunities to go to the pool aside from class, that may be helpful. I'd stick with it for now and see if it gets better, even if just gets a little better. Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi, I understand how painful watching your child cry each time can be; however, you mustn't let the crying stop you from taking your child to swim lessons. I'm not sure where you live; however, I elected to take my son beginning last year at age 4 to a private swim instructor.

She takes children as young as 8 months and up to age 8 in the younger child class. She takes about 6 children at a time and they rotate through. The lesson lasts for about an hour and 15 minutes. I have observed some children cry the entire two weeks, and I have observed some cry at the beginning, but then stop.

With that said, each one of the children who go through her class are able to swim by the end of the two week period. She guarantees it or there is no charge. In order for them to graduate, they must be able to be thrown in at the deep end, turn around, and pull themselves out. I have never observed this with the 8 mo old children, but have with children as young as 11 mos. It is absolutely amazing to watch. Her philosophy is that she wants them to be able to get out of the water in the event they accidentally fall in. With her lessons, she only requires one day of parent in the pool. Depending on your location I would be happy to give you her name. She's listed in the phone book, but doesn't advertise. All of her clients are based on referrals.

Back to your original question, should you keep it up. Absolutely, it could save your child's life.

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