2.5 Year Old Keeps Escaping the House

Updated on July 15, 2008
L.L. asks from Farmington, CT
38 answers

My DD/escape artist now loves to leave the house, run around it and ring the doorbell. Usually I see her attempt to do this but this past week I had a monster migraine and she scared the heck out of me when the bell rang. I realized how serious this behavior is and how easily something bad could happen. We have a child lock on the front door, the same locks we have throughout the house, but she can open it - note she only opens this one for some reason the others continue to baffle her. And the back door is a slider which she can unlock and remove the stick to keep the door from opening. My husband does not want to put a chain across the front door (purely for aesthetic reasons.) Does anyone have a similar experience and a great solution? I am at wits end.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for the fantastic responses, your suggestions, experiences and warnings were most appreciated. I shared the overwhelming sentiment with my husband and finally got him to see things straight and take it seriously. Because when you only witness it once as he had - it is cute to see her smiling face at the door (she has him wrapped around her finger.) But since he's not home during the day he didn't realize how often she climbed, jumped gates, maneuvered child locks and bolted and how extremely serious it was. SO, I bought a deadbolt, hotel latch and chain for the front door and a pin lock for the slider. He can choose which best suits his aesthetic sensibilities. After today I am sure we won't have a Houdini anymore, at least until she figures out how to get a ladder to where she wants it...

Thank you all again!

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A.T.

answers from Boston on

There are various child safety companies who sell alarms for doors, in order to alert you if one of them opens. Try to google this... many of the sites are for families with a child with autism, but they are a great idea. This way, if the alarm is enabled, you will hear the chime when the door opens and be able to prevent the escape. They have them for windows, too. They aren't very expensive.
Good luck!!

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F.G.

answers from Boston on

An idea for the slider that worked for us was getting one of those extendable shower rods and wedging that up high in the door.

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C.S.

answers from New York on

Let me tell you a short story...

I was driving home from Target and a little boy was standing on the sidewalk on my street. I pulled over and watched him. No parents in sight.

He took off running down our street toward the main road. I jumped out my car and caught him just as he was running into the street. A car swerved to miss him.

He almost got hit by a car.
His parents had no idea he was outside.
He escaped.

PUT A CHAIN ON YOUR DOOR.

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J.C.

answers from Providence on

We installed a high dead bolt on our front door when our son was 2 (for the same type of reasons you have described). Safety and your peace of mind are more important than aesthetics. I hope you find a solution with which everyone can be comfortable. Good luck.

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A.H.

answers from Burlington on

put the stick at the top of the slidding door,or you can buy a metal stick that attaches with pressure pads this could be put at the top

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P.C.

answers from Boston on

Have you considered putting a chain lock on the door, as well?

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M.N.

answers from Boston on

I am baffled as well about the front door, but on our slider, I bought an adjustable shower curtain rod and put it at the top of the door.
My son could not reach it, and because of the rubber at each end it fits in fairly snug.

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B.G.

answers from Barnstable on

They make different types of plastic cover "locks" for doors (unless this is what you already have) - you can get them at babies r us, walmart, target, or www.onestepahead.com , etc. Or go to a hardware store and get a lock that you can install high above her head.

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

Yikes! Are your door knobs standard size to put the door knob covers on? You have to pinch those to get it to turn &open the door. Try putting a lock high up on the door, too. As for the slider, get a peice of wood the equals the measurement so you can wedge it high up, not at the base or the door, make sure its snug & high enuff so you & your husband are the only ones who can reach it.

I know a woman whos daughter (who is autistic) kept escaping repeatedly, DSS took her child. Not that that would happen, but for safety sake, your husband needs to understand this is very serious!

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J.H.

answers from Portland on

you could put a little hook lock at the top of the door!!

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H.Z.

answers from Boston on

Your child is at an age where safetly overrides aesthetics. My oldest was also amazing at opening all doors. So we put a latch on every door in our house that he was not able to reach. Did it look nice?...no. But let me tell you he never, ever escaped without my knowledge and therefore never got hurt or even worse taken. I know you can't always watch your kids 24/7...but this way even when you can't be there you can feel comfort and secure in the fact that your child is safe.

Good luck!!

H. (SAHM to 3 boys 4 1/2, 3 1/2 and 12 months old)

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

When we first moved into our house my 3 year old son did this...only he went down the street (I was having chemo then, and was resting on the couch, and didn't realize he'd even left)!! We have since put hooks and chains on all the doors he and his now 2 year old brother can open themselves. Whatever you need to do to prevent your daughter from getting out, you need to be firm with your husband. This is a matter of safety. You think it's scary when she rings the bell? You should try having your new neighbor do it holding your child. I didn't win mother-of-the-year that year.

Good luck, and stand your ground with your husband.
L.

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N.B.

answers from Boston on

Admittedly, I laughed at first and thought of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes panel. Anyway, is it possible she is just looking for your attention because of the new baby? Maybe you need to schedule a regular time for only you and your escape artist. I don't know your situation so I don't know what resources are available to you. IN addition, I don't know if your nursing or using a bottle such that you can leave feeding to someone else. Maybe your spouse could take the baby for a couple of hours on the weekend. I suggested a scheduled time so that your older daughter can count on that time/expect it.

Good luck

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P.M.

answers from Boston on

we have a chain on our door I'ld much rather have a small chain hanging then being on the news because my son escaped. My son gets out of everything! He thinks it's funny to open the door and go out. We have a 6 month old so it's not like we can keep gaurd over the door to make sure he doesn't go out. Plus he's wandered around the house at night and we've found him in the basement sleeping on the couch with a blanket over him and he's turned on th TV. He loves locks and opening and closing doors.
Nothing keeps him from opening somethiong he shouldn't.
As far as your sliding doors go we have a lock up on top so only a tall person can open it - it's actually a screw that was drilled in the door that you have to unscrew it to open th edoor. It's hard to explain but I understand what you're going threw with your daughter.

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J.M.

answers from Hartford on

Hi,

My husband installed a hook and eye on the inside of our screen door really high so our son can't reach. He can open the security front door, but not the screen door. Perhaps you could do this?

On our back door, we had to put a chain on because it opens into our sunroom and we didn't want him out there alone.

Hope this helps. Good Luck!

J. M.

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

Just before my son turned 3 he was found outside at 2am sitting by the very busy road. I got lucky because my friend had friends over and they found him when they were leaving. If your husand wont put the chains up you need to. They also have the alarms you can put on the doors and when you turn them on it makes a noise so you know the door is open. I think they are $10 for a package of 4.

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L.C.

answers from Bangor on

When my 13 year old was three, he woke up from a nap, put on his snowpants and boots & got out of the house through the back door, climbed up a ladder that was against the back of the house(my husband had used it that week to remove snow from the roof)and was found on the roof sliding down the snow!! He was so quiet about it we had no idea he was even outside. We were terrified of him falling and there he was laughing and having a great time sliding and watching the cars go by! This wasn't the first time he had gotten out of the house, but it was the first time it was very dangerous!
We knew we were very fortunate that he didn't get hurt, we went out to the local hardware store and bought hotel locks, they were pretty to look at so it didn't look funny on the doors when company came and it kept him in his room and kept him from opening locked doors when he was out of his room. We put the lock on the outside of his door rather than the inside, had his baby monitor on and as soon as we heard him get up we would go to his room and let him be with the rest of the family safe and sound. We also put them on the exit doors and a door that lead to our downstairs, we put them as high as we could on the door so he couldn't reach them, the farthest the door would open was approx. 1 1/2 inches. It did the trick, when he got older we just didn't use the locks unless it was at night because it added extra security for the house. I took the one off his room only, when I sold the house they loved the extra security. Good luck, L.

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K.T.

answers from Boston on

We use a chain on our doors. Be sure to install it high enough so that you wont have to raise it, like if she discovers she could use a chair to reach it. We have ours up very high. Please do it sooner than later!!

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N.M.

answers from New York on

I would begin talking to her (not scolding) about how serious this is and how she might get hurt. Make sure she knows what your expectations are and what the consequences might be if it happens again. Make sure no one acts like it's cute and everyone is disappointed in her when she does this. Kids like to please, so this may help. Also, Radio Shack sells these little door alarms that are very cheap (under $20) and easy to install, then an alarm will go off when the door is opended to alert you. That has a dual effect, it alerts you and her of what she is doing. She might realize on her own to stop when the alarm goes off. Then you can reward her for stopping her own inappropriate behavior.

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K.C.

answers from Boston on

Tell you husband to bite the bullet and get a freakin' chain. That would suck if your kid ran into the road. Or get a hook and eye. Something.

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A.W.

answers from Boston on

Yes I am in your shoes right now .. they think it's so funny and it's not.

I suggest gate her in key rooms, not sure if she makes attempts but at least you will know. I have one that stays in the living room door way and then one that keeps him from the kitchen -- yes mine loves to eat so he thinks he can go get himself a snack anytime.

The other thing is get those locks that are double sided tape and you can remove when she is done with this stage .. I bought them at Lowe's and it's something you can put on cabinets, etc. .. you need to keep her safe and if your husbnd is afraid of how it looks? You will feel terrible if something terrible went wrong because she wasn't foiled! You must be running around like crazy like me!

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A.K.

answers from Providence on

I understand that your hubby doesn't want to put a chain on the door, but I think that the potential consequenses should out weigh an aesthetic reason. Nevermind getting abducted, which seems to be in the water nowadays, but she could get hit by a car, or bitten by a neighborhood dog, or if you live in the woods, a coyote.... I would say find a "pretty" chain, and lock her in! haha... But seriously, I understand how frustrating it seems because she's a 2 year old, and you can't explain to a 2 yo how serious of an issue her running out of the house is, but its dangerous... What if she fell and you didn't realize something happened, or if she got a really bad cut. Are your locks put up high? I would attempt that, because its so important. And you can remove all of these safety features when she gets out of this phase or at least understands that she can't or shouldn't run outside her house without mommy or daddy, Because she could get hurt. Good luck... She sounds like a handful of Brains!!!
P.S. as far as the back door stick goes... is there anyway to move the stick to the top part of the slider? duct tape a few suction cups to the stick and stick it to the top of the window on the door. that way its still there, she can't open it, but she can't reach it either...

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M.F.

answers from Bangor on

We are going through the same thing with our 3 y/o right now! I love escape artist! We've been calling my son Houdini! Unfortunately, we have had to install the unaesthetically pleasing door locks as well. We feel a lot more secure knowing they're there though! Good luck. M.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

Put a chain on the door.

Child safety trumps aesthetic issues.

Is it worth it if your child ends up dead in the street or you end up being investigated by child services because your two year old was found wandering?

I'm not being fascetious. My two year old escaped a few years ago. I was caring for his baby sister and the police brought him home before I realized he was gone. They warned me that if it happened again they would contact DSS. I am a caring, protective and involved parent and I was horrified and humiliated.

My husband installed chain locks on all doors that evening.

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi LL,

You already realize you've got a serious safety issue here. Nothing is more important than keeping your daughter safe,and she is too young to really understand how dangerous this game is. Besides, you don't want to spend every minute of your day policing her and reprimanding her for trying to escape. Please, please get your husband to install a chain across the front door,or put hook and eye latches at the top of the inside doors ,where your daughter can't reach them. He can remove them once your little one is older. It may not be pretty, but it will keep your girl safe,and he'd never forgive himself if something happened to her because he didn't want to ruin the aesthetics of his home. While he's at the hardware store, maybe he can buy her a little bike bell as well, so she has her own bell to ring, and doesn't become obsessed with the doorbell.Good luck ! L. S.

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N.C.

answers from Portland on

Dear LL, Without sounding too simplistic here, the easiest solution as far as immediate safety concerns is to install a dead bolt high enough on the inside of the door so as to keep her from opening them when you're not around to see her leave. Your absolutely right to be concerned. The problem remains however as to why she feels a need to go outdoors, run around the house and ring doorbells. My guess is something else is going on. Any idea what perhaps? Blessings, N.

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R.M.

answers from Boston on

Like the many responders have already said: install a slide bolt high enough up on the door where she can't reach.
Although I didn't need to do this for my child, we installed slide bolts on all doors when my mother had Alzhiemer and would wander outdoors at all hours.
It's a good, easy solution. Do it NOW!

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M.D.

answers from Burlington on

Whew, that was a lot of responses to look through! I was checking to see if anyone made the points I was thinking of:

1.) If she can open the door to let herself out, she can also open the door to let someone in! My single friend was in the shower while her sons were in the living room watching tv. The entrance door was to the livingroom. When she came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, she discovered her sons had allowed a man into the house! Not only was it embarrassing but it could have potentially been dangerous too. The boys did not know him. Fortunately she recognized him to be the building maintenance man. On another occasion they had opened the door to a woman. They left the door wide-open and ran screaming from the door because she was a stranger. She turned out to be a neighbor in the building. A lock was put up high on the door after those two episodes.

2.) If she can unlock the door, she can probably lock it too. Do not step outside the house without your keys. I think my son was about 2 years old when I went outside to put the trash in the barrel. I came back to the door and discovered it locked with my son on the other side of the door. All doors to the house were locked, it was winter, and I didn't have a cell phone to call my husband for help. Fortunately my son let me back in after a lot of coaching.

Your husband needs to be reminded that his job is to help protect the safety and well-being of his family. For gosh sakes, who cares about aesthetics when your daughter's (family's) safety is in jeopardy!

Looks like you received a lot of good advice. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Hartford on

I had a similar problem but with a child with a disability.

WE put bells on all the door knobs, so i can here when the door opens, they are still on the doors including the refrigerator door.
You can even purchase door alarms that let out a loud noise/beep when opened. I have to say this is a very scary thing to happen to anyone and YOU NEED TO NIP THIS IN THE BUTT VERY QUICKLY!!!!!!
How about getting an attachment to you and your child, since you have a new wee one, this might be the reason this is happening. I remember a vest with something like a dogs leash that attached from your wrist to the childs vest, it was not too long like maybe 2 or 3 feet and it keep your child very close to you when you went shopping, and i used it in the home as well. This would include your dd with helping out with the baby

sending very good luck to you

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S.P.

answers from Boston on

Depending on how your door is set there are window alarms the when seperated they go off loud enough to scare the kids but not obnoxious enough to drive you crazy. I have heard of people using them. I tried but my doors are not set in right to allow them ot work so we had to go with a chain at the way top of the door. My 2.5 year old did the same thing last week! I live on a main road so we had no choice. He put a chair in front of the door and undid the bolt lock we have!They are incredible how smart they are huh!
They sell at home depot for 7.00 and stick on the door.

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L.P.

answers from Lewiston on

For the sliding door, what we did (not for kids escaping, but for kids accidentally letting the dog escape!) was install a hook and eye way up high on the inside of the screen door. Your daughter won't be able to reach that.
Also, for the door to the house, install a dead bolt, maybe up high also, and she won't be able to open that.
You've got a little Houdini there, good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Boston on

Well, your husband may have to swallow his aesthetic issues for the safety and well-being of your daughter. My daughter is five and started escaping when she was three. We have an alarm system that chimes whenever a door is opened--and because she is so darn fast we've put a gate across the front of our porch. We also put a chain lock on the front door because she figured out the deadbolt and I was afraid she'd get out when I was in the shower. She has autism and is developmentally at a 2.11 year old level--she thinks it's a game if we chase her or try to stop her as she runs down the street. Once the gate was up I was still afraid that someone would be able to "snatch" her from the porch--hence the chain lock. On our slider we have a lock that is up above---my husband bought it at home depot and installed it easily enough--and it's very inconspicuous. My daughter hasn't bolted from us in almost 6 months---good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

My second daughter was a great escape artist so I had hook and eyes on all the doors including the screens on the sliding glass door (the stick was wedged in at the top of the slider). Did it look crappy? Yes it did but it served it's purpose and once she got a little older we were able to remove everything.

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C.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi, I have heard that a dead bolt (the kind that is above the door) works really well as only tall people can reach them and it poses no aesthetic issues. I hope that helps! :) We have a 2 year old who has just learned how to open the doors and also escapes if the doors are not locked. It will only be a matter of time before he figures out the locks! :(

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Please put on a chain or other lock up high. Aesthetics won't matter if something terrible happens. My son "escaped" once at 5:30am when he was baout 2.5. Fortunately a friendly neighbor found him, and it was summer time. First and only time he did it, but now my house is like fort knox. Now that she has figured the locks out, she's not going to stop. Please put up some other locks!

C.

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T.A.

answers from Providence on

Hi.What about door chimes. We have them they are tied into our alarm system but I know you can get them at Home Improvement store.Any time a door opens it chimes.Good Luck T.

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D.S.

answers from Boston on

"...My husband does not want to put a chain across the front door (purely for aesthetic reasons.)" Well sorry to say, but he needs to get over that real fast. Ask him what is more important. The safety of his wife and 3 children or his aesthetically pleasing to the eye doorway? God forbid, but there are too many horror stories to refer him to. Kids out in traffic, into the family pool, driveway incidents etc. I don't care how far you live from the street, it's too important to ignore. We live in a nice neighborhood, 4 houses from the ocean. My sister was driving to Nursing School at 7 am and just happened to glance at the beach. Some little 3 year old had gotten out of bed, walked out the front door and nearly drowned. With the child in p.j.'s my sister had no choice but to take her to the Police station because the child didn't know her last name or address. Imagine if a bad guy took that little girl instead of my sister? Or some nut that couldnt have children herself. It happens anywhere and everywhere. We live in a scary day and age where we have to be pro-active about child safety. Besides that, I would be afraid of someone being able to enter my house as well. In no way am I an alarmist or over reacting. With 3 kids it would a good idea for the 2 of you to walk around the house and childproof now, if you haven't already done so. Cause she sounds so inquisitive. From electrical covers on outlets to locks on cabinets w/cleaning supplies. Drawers with silverware,scissors tools you name it. I've worked in Emergency rooms and there is nothing sadder in life than the parents after the accident that could have been prevented.
As far as the Child lock on the door that she can already open. You said you have them throughout the house. They need to be removed. Get your money back because obviously they aren't childproof. I wish you the best of luck.

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R.J.

answers from Boston on

We had the same problem with our son when he was 2.5 and the solution cost us only $7. My husband found an alarm that could be attached to the top of the door at Home Depot. It is very small and unobtrusive - you hardly even notice it. Anyway, it has an adhesive backing. One part sticks to the door. The other sticks to the door jam. When the door opens, the sensors between the two sides register that they are no longer in alignment and a shrill, piercing alarm goes off. The alarm went off on my son once and he was forever cured of his desire to escape the house without me. When we leave the house together, he will look up at the door and ask me if the alarm is off. If your daughter doesn't like loud, high pitched noises, this could work for her as well. Another plus is that I can even hear the alarm from the shower - I can basically be anywhere in the house and know that if he tries to leave the house I will know immediately.

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