25 Month Old WILL NOT STAY in BED

Updated on June 26, 2009
R.Y. asks from San Jose, CA
13 answers

Help....i feel like a failing supernanny! my 25 month old will not stay in bed. have a bedtime routine.....trying to put him right back without talking or exciting him. spent 2 hours last night doing it and it's been going on for a few weeks now. I think he now thinks it's a game and I'm TIRED!!!!!!!!! Any other suggestions.....

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D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a little boy who is 26 months and we're just moving him into a big boy bed, but we've been very clear that if he gets out without permission then he will go back into his crib until he's a big enough boy to handle it. He really doesn't want that and we've had no problems so far.

Even if you dont want to put him back into his crib, the threat may be enough. Unfortunately you do have to be prepared to do it if he presses the issue. Maybe threatening the pack and play would be easier. That way you wouldn't have to put the crib back up.

Good luck.

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G.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Perhaps the move to a toddler bed was too soon. If he was climbing out of his crib and you had to move him, try having him sleep in a pack n play (at least the distance from the ground is a little safer).

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P.L.

answers from San Francisco on

We also have the same problem. My little girl is 25 months old and some nights it will take 2 hours to go to sleep. I am also 35 weeks pregnant and very tired. I usually put her in time out and then the next time we put her down she is usually pretty good.

Good luck.

P.

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S.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi
In addition to some of the other ideas on here, I would also recommend dimming the lights around the house (including turning off a t.v.) about an hour BEFORE bedtime, this way, the child begins to produce serotonin. This will allow him to slowly relax and hopefully, by the time it is bedtime, he might go to sleep sooner and more deeply. Also, as suggested, a nice warm bath. You could dilute some of that sleepy time tea made by celestial seasons, I find that def works for me, I am not sure his tastebuds would welcome the herbs, even if they aren't pungent. I suppose you could add a natural sweetner such as agave or stevia. both natural (unlike white sugar) ..
Lastly, do you leave the room once he is back in bed, or do you stay there? I ask because at times, I would stay with my son until he fell back to sleep . It might seem like a hassle to some, but it worked for us. HE is now a good sleeper.. for the most part :)

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M.M.

answers from Modesto on

Are you able to just read to him and snuggle until he drops off to sleep?

I've always felt it to be important that bedtime be a comforting time for my kids. We all look forward to bedtime and it's not a struggle. My 18 month old will come take my hand and pull me to the bedroom when she's ready, if I haven't initiated things myself by about 8 o:clock.

We cuddle together and read books for awhile. Then we just snuggle quietly until she's asleep. Because they are relaxed and consider sleepy time to be a safe and wonderful part of their day, it never takes more than about 15 minutes. At that point I can go do my own thing or hang with my husband for awhile.

I think it's pretty normal and natural for a toddler aged child to want to be with his parents as he drifts off to sleep. I'm sure my kids would have come looking for me if I wasn't there with them too. Of course they would.

I"m sure it would take a period of transition for your little one to relearn the bedtime experience. But it's been well worth it as bedtime is one of the most precious, shared parts of our day. And we have avoided any sense of anger or frustration around bedtime with which I see other families struggle.

I hope you won't think that hitting/hurting your child to force him to stay by himself, or locking him in to cry alone on the bedroom floor all night seem like reasonable ideas.

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A.F.

answers from San Francisco on

As I am not sure of what your entire situation is,this may or may not help. When my daughter was 2yr,we went through the same thing.I drove me to the brink of insanity. I just wanted to go to sleep and she wouldn't let me. So I called my doc and explained the situation. She asked me about my stress level/anxiety. she said the if your child senses you are in a rushed state and not relaxed then they are not either,which causes the disruption in their behaviour.So I started playing classical music on the ride home from work to help mellow me out.Then dinner,bathtime,quiet time- play classical lullabyes 30mins before bedtime,read a book,trace the face and like magic she'd be knocked out.sometimes i'd leave the music on repeat if it i could tell she had a rough day. It saved me. GOOD LUCK!

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E.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with poster who suggested spanking...or whatever consequences you use for bad behavior at your house. A 2 year old is big enough to understand that he needs to stay in bed, and by getting up repeatedly he is being disobedient.

To get our son to stay in bed, we used a reward system. He was a little younger and I think he was still scared to be in there alone, but it still worked. We told him if he could lay in bed and be quiet for a minute, we would bring him a raisn (his favorite treat). Now it was a game and he loved it! We slowly stretched out the time between raisins and eventually he would fall asleep waiting for the next one. Some nights he would still get really upset and need to be rocked to sleep, but we kept it up and after a couple months we could tuck him in, say goodnight, and he would go right to sleep.

I think a combination of discipline & rewards could really help your situation. Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I love Amanda's response!
As a side note, I have the toughest time with my daughter when she is overtired. Your son may be more active these days, learning more and perhaps he's just on overload a lot. I would also suggest you look at his bedtime, and whether or not you can start things earlier. Getting him down earlier may give you the room to be calmer, and maybe he can get to sleep faster.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with the others who recommend installing a lock so that it locks on the outside. We had to do that with our son on the recommendation of a child psychologist, who said it would not scar him for life. :) Made all the difference in the world! The two+ hour bedtime battle was over. We had done a consistent calm routine and got no results, so this was a godsend.

With our daughter, we started going through the same thing and did the lock trick. But what has worked even better with her is eliminating her afternoon nap. She has been refusing to take one and we've found that she goes to bed and stays in bed now at bedtime (out in minutes). Perhaps you can trim nap time? Probably too young to eliminate a nap, but reducing the time may help.

Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Sacramento on

Oh, I am so sorry!!! We went through the same thing. Everyone said 3 days creates a routine. It took almost 4 weeks of EVERY NIGHT getting out of bed numerous times. If he did stay in bed he would kick the walls. I tried everything from sitting on the floor and every time I saw his foot come off the bed I would put him right back into bed, to spanking, to locking the door and just letting him cry in his room. 4 WEEKS!!!! I was a mess. I felt like the worst parent ever, I was at my wits end!!! Then one night, he just went to bed and stayed there. Never had an issue since. Keep doing the same thing every night. Do not give in, and I promise, one day, maybe later than you would hope, but one day he will catch on. I feel for you, I really do. That was one of the worst times in my life. I still cry about it, funny thing is, my husband doesn’t remember it being that bad.

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D.D.

answers from Fresno on

I have a 32 month old little boy and at that same age I had the same problem. We moved at that time and when we got to the new house he kept getting out of bed. Finally upon the advice of a friend I put a child lock on the inside of his door. He cried at the door for the first few nights but he eventually made his way back to bed. After a few weeks I took it off and it hasn't been a problem since. It worked for me so if you're willing it may work for you!!

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I think both ideas together work. If you are hesitant to lock the door, what about a baby gate? I had a friend who wouldn't close her daughter's door but the child would climb the gate. So she put up two baby gates, one on top of the other. It was hysterical but it worked. Made her point.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Get a locking door handle and install it so it locks on the outside. Lock him in. Problem solved! =) We did this with our firecracker of a younger daughter, and although she did sleep on her bedroom floor for several nights, we didn't have to exhaust ourselves trying to put her back in her room. It just takes the power struggle away, which is nice at this age...

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