21 Month Old Won't Listen

Updated on October 16, 2008
M.J. asks from Osseo, MN
6 answers

Any suggestions will be welcomed! So we have no fence around our house & every time I take my daughter out of the car or out to play she wants to run into the neighbors yard. The neighbors on the one side of us have a garden that she is fascinated with & the other neighbors have a ton of lawn ornaments that she is attracted to like a magnet. I have tried to make 'our yard' appealing by buying a climber with a slide, a few lawn ornaments and we just put in an above ground garden for next year but she could care less about any of these things. She is so good about listening to me when it comes to other things but the yard just brings tantrums every time I try to redirect her to our yard. I know it probably doesn't seem like that big of an issue but the neighbor with the garden always has some home project going and has sharp tools out laying in the lawn and she just bolts for them the minute I set her down so its like I'm constantly running interference! Any ideas?

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J.R.

answers from Davenport on

I think you two main choices are this...1. get a fence, or 2. Make a boundry, maybe just some steaks with string tied between, maybe a border of the lawn ornaments, and show and tell her that she has to stay on this side of the line, then immediately when she disobeys/ingores you, take her in the house for a time out. Only take her back out after she calms down (you know she will have a fit) and repeat that "we stay in our own yard inside the lines". Repeat this every time, and soon she should learn that if she doesn't stay in "her" yard, she will not be outside at all.

I had to do this with my little blondie about wearing a hat outside so she wouldn't get sunburned...we would immediately go back inside if she took it off...a hat was the #1 requirement for being ouside. It only took about 3 return trips inside ( and the ensuing tantrums of hers on the floor) to get through to her that I was not kidding around. She will now get her hat and put it on if she is asking to go out.

Good Luck!

Jessie

1 mom found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

This may not solve the issue at all, but it's so easy it's worth a try. We found a crack that just happened to be in our driveway right by the road, and told our son THAT was the line; he couldn't cross it to go into the road. At all. And he's actually pretty good about it. Now, he's 4, so there's a big difference, but finding some arbitrary line worked for us as a "no cross" zone. Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Duluth on

I think two-year-olds are supposed to ignore you and say no and try to do more challenging things! That's why they call then the "terrible twos."

Is it possible for you to fence off an area around her play equipment that is totally safe for her to run freely? It must be frustrating to both of you for her to have all that fascinating stuff and for you to try to contain her!

Good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

M.,
I really liked the idea the mom had about creating a visual boundary. Your daughter can't possibly understand that there's an imaginary line in the grass she cannot cross. I know this sounds terrible, but I think raising kids is sometimes like training dogs! Our dog would not stay out of our garden until we got a cheap little wooden fence. Even though she could jump over it, she sees it as a boundary and doesn't. Our 20 month old son also does not climb over that fence, even though he could. The visual boundary might be a necessity at first, then she'll get the hang of it. If she crosses the "line" though, you'll need to take her inside, give her a time out, and explain that she has to stay in her yard, and stay inside the lines (just as another mom said). Don't forget to remind her of this before you ever go out to play also! Kids thrive with structure - she'll get the hang of it after awhile.
Good luck,
Amy

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

Just curious, but beyond the tools is there any reason for her not to be in the neighbors yard? With their permission, getting the chance to explore may get it out of her system.

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B.C.

answers from Appleton on

Maybe you could ask your neighbors to say something to your daughter like " I don't like it when you touch my sharp tools" or something about her coming into their yard without asking permission?

She may listen if it is coming from someone other than mom, especially if its the owner of the yard.

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