21 Month Old Won't Go to Sleep!!!

My advise would be tp put her back in a crib. She is too young to get the idea. You can't expect her to obey this young. She needs a boundary that is much more confining. Try a crib for about 3 more months atleast. This way she can atleast be in her crib - weather she sleeps or crys, that doesn't matter - within a few days she will get the idea that you are not playing that game with her and she is not in control of the situation.

Hold on. It will work out. I guarentee after 3 or 4 days of crying in bed for 20 mins or more she will sleep well.

nanny jo frosts method has worked for us.......in a nut shell...the first time she does it you calmly tell her that it is bed time march her back to bed tuck her in and thats it no more talking or kisses or hugs...then every time after that (yes it may be 50 more times) you just take her hand no eye contact and no talking at all and put her to bed.....we did this with our youngest (wish I knew about it for the other two) if she is screaming after you leave DO NOTHING as harsh as it sounds your just giving HER the power by going into the room when she is screaming.....it took 2 1/2 weeks for our youngest to stay in bed and only 3 days of screaming to realize that isn't working....he was about the same age give or take a month....I have told many of my friends about this method and they are loving the results......

Oh man, that's rough. I feel so bad for you. I know how frustrating this can be especially since it's night time and you want some time alone. Do you have a bedtime routine? Reading a special book, bath....At almost 2 she knows what to do to keep you coming back and it's obviously working for her. Aren't they amazing that the can learn how to get what they want at that age! You can try a token system where she gets 1 or 2 passes to get out of bed or have mom come up there but after she uses those, no more mommy and you have to be firm with this. You might have to let her cry it out after she's used up all her tokens. If you stay firm she WILL learn that it's not working for you and eventually give up and go to sleep. Just remember so kids have a longer learning curve and will try to push the envelope longer. My 4 yo has been starting the whinning and crying at bedtime and she now knows that if she cont's to whine/cry it keeps her brother up and parents up and we will have to close her door. Well good luck to you. Stay strong!!
L.

R.,

I agree with Jewel. We tried the Nanny Jo Frost advice on things and it really works. My older son had gotten sick when he was about 1 or so just a bad cold and he got used to us going into his room. As soon as he wasn't sick anymore he continued to cry and cry. There was an episode on super nanny and Nanny Jo frost said the first time go in the childs room and pat his back and tell him its time for bed, then she had said the second time just in the room and pat the childs back without saying anything(He would scream and cry) and have no eye contact and then sit by his crib not facing him and keep moving away and away. It took him about 2 hours one night until he finally stopped screaming and crying and the next night he was back to his routine. It really works! I would let my kids cry 15 min or so too when they didn't want to go to bed, I see nothing wrong with that. We need to teach them that it is bed time and we will see them in the morning. Good luck and whatever you try I hope it works.

She is not even 2 yrs old yet, she needs you.. She is crying out for the comfort at night! Please read up on Dr Sears method, it talks about comforting your child to sleep.. Yes, even if you have to give up your own time to sit with them until they fall asleep.. This really makes them more independant in the long run. My daughter will be 4 in April.. We have never ever believed in the cry it out methods! Its torture, they don't understand why MOMMY isn't there with them! To them, you fell off the face of the earth when you're leaving them. Its just an opinion.. But seriously my daughter is very very loving and super independant, loves pretend play, etc! However, I have a nephew(on my husbands side) and they did the cry it out method and omg.. what a difference in their personalities! He is NOT loving at all, he is very standoffish to everyone.. Everyone comments on it.. Maybe its coincidence, I don't know but I've seen it in other "cry it out" kids too.. If your daughter needs you, stay! So what if a dish isn't done, at least your child feels secure.
Good luck in whatever you choose
Merry Christmas (:

My 23 month old son has given us problems with going to bed on his own as well. It was so bad with him that he didn't even want to look at his crib with out flipping out, and as much as I couldn’t stand to listen to him scream, I did try the cry it out thing, and it just made matters worse. So after trying everything else that I could think of I found something that worked for us.
First you need a routine, bath, book (we sing a short song), and make sure it is the same thing every night; and make sure she is awake when you put her down.

What I did is I would sit out side of his crib until he fell asleep (I know you don't want to do this, but hear me out). If he got up, I didn't say anything to him, I didn't even look him in the eye, I just put him back down. And with my son, this felt like FOREVER! He kept getting back up, and I kept putting him back down. This lasted two days, but eventually he got the point (don't give them ANY attention when they get up, you are only giving them what they want, and don’t give in…like I said it will feel like forever, but it’s not. After he was comfortable with where I was, enough to fall asleep on his own without getting up, I moved across the room.

And again after he was comfortable with where I was, and fell asleep on his own without getting up, I moved to the door, and then eventually out of the room.

I know it sounds like a lot of work but it works wonders! There was very little screaming from him, and because it was in transitions, it wasn't so over whelming for him.

He did have a setback when we came home from my parents’ house in WI, so I just started from the beginning at his crib, and then worked my way out of the room. And the transition went a lot faster then it did the first time.

But whatever you choose; be consistent, don’t give in, and don’t give up. Good Luck!
J.