We need help getting our daughter to sleep in. She has a solid routine throughout the day and at bedtime. She goes down for her nap, easily at 11 and sleeps until 1:00. Her bedtime routine starts at 6:30ish with a bath and she is asleep by 7:30. No fussing. She has a bottle before bed and sleeps until 4:00 or 4:30, but when she wakes, there is no getting her back to sleep. We've tried everything. She is our second, and we had sleep issues with our first too. She doesn't have sleep props, we wait ten minutes before going in and only go in for a minute and say the same mantra, often change her diaper (as it is very wet or she leaks once in awhile)and pull her musical night night toy and leave. She has been waking between 4 and 4:30 am everyday for 4 months now. We've used black-out blinds, fed her before bed and tried to leave her in her bed until 5:30 before giving her a bottle for 3.5 months. We've tried a variety of approaches when we go into her room at 4:00. We've tried to not go in and sometimes eventually found her wet or with a poo. We've gone in, and only staying for a minute, saying night, night and giving her a little rub on the back. Every approach we tried, we've done consistently for about 3 weeks.She wants a bottle in the morning, but isn't too interested in breakfast, so I don't think she is too hungry. If we give her a bottle at 4, she will usually have a poo and then be wide awake. If we leave her, she talks (shouts at us)and eventually she is frustrated and cries, waking our 5 year old. We've adjusted when she goes to sleep, to a later time, and she still wakes early. When she wakes up, she doesn't seem too tired, as a matter of fact, she is quite happy and seems ready to get up. By 11, she is happy to have a nap though and certainly could not make it through the day without one. Help! We don't want to wake up at 4:00 anymore. We would be happy if we could even make it until 5:30 without interruption.
Maybe try giving her a late afternoon nap,and getting her to bed later..What i had to do with my son. He was ready for bed by 6-7 and up at 5, So i started giving morning nap around 10 30 and afternoon nap around 4 and then bed at 830, then shes not overly tired and hopefully will sleep in for you. Best of luck!
Developmentally, a 21 month old needs about 10 hours of nightime sleep and 1.5 to 3 hours of day time napping. Naps should be more than 3 hours before bedtime and no sooner than 3 hours after waking up, and the naps should last at least 45 minutes if broken up over the day. It is better to have one long nap session during the day, preferably after lunch. It sounds like you may have to simply push her bedtime a little later to have her wake up later, since she is getting about 9 hours of nighttime sleep.
Also, the bedtime bottle is probably disrupting her sleep cycle, because her body is not resting properly because it is still digesting food. At this age, she will always wake to have a BM. I would try the feeding at least 1-2 hours before bedtime.
I have a 20 mos old little girl who has done the same thing on and off for a couple of months. My husband and I actually trade off weeks ( so I am responsible for getting up early one week and then he does the next). At first I thought of everything, maybe she's teething, maybe she is napping to long or not enough, maybe she had a nightmare, maybe she needs her diaper changed, maybe she's hungry...we tried changing everything and yes stayed with it long enough to make a difference (I am a trained child therapist so I know all behavior modification). Then I noticed that it was worse on his days and started asking what time she was getting up for him and what he would do. He would go get her. We decided to make a deal, she can cry it out to 6 am (It was the compromise hour). Next morning up at 4am and cried for 20-30 min but fell back asleep and sleep until 6:30. She still wakes sometimes a little early but will cry and then go back to sleep. While I know that some have difficulty letting their children cry it out, for some children it is the technique that works and for mine it is true...whether it is nap time or a temper tantrum. It might be something to consider, if you have a 5 y.o., perhaps you make arrangements so that they could not be affected by the plan. Good luck, the 4 am wake was so difficult on us, I hope it doesn't last much longer for you!
Several people have already mentioned this, but I would definately not give a bottle just before bed anymore. I'm sure the dinner that you serve her is more than enough to last the evening and through the night to keep her satisfied, she may not like you taking it away because of habit, but I'm more than sure she is not hungry. Our son is quite a heavy wetter so we had to switch to an overnight diaper so he would stay dry for the bulk of the night he would wake up upset because of being wet...we love the Huggies overnights, maybe you could try those as well. I would also adjust the time routine. 6:30 in the evening is very very early to begin a bedtime routine if you aren't wanting to be up at 4:00. We have established a very nice routine...obviously it's not for everyone cause every child and mommy is different, but I'll tell you mine and you can pick and choose if any of it works for you. Dinner is anywhere between 5-6. After dinner only water to drink and only for a little while. Bath, PJ's, book, prayers all around 8:30 or 9:00 (depending on how big of a day we have had)he sleeps mostly solid until between 7:30-8:30. (we darkened the room as well to help with that)He doesn't nap during the day until 2:00, by that time he is good and worn out (not cranky usually) and will sleep a solid 2 hours, he gets up and plays and had a small snack and then we have dinner again. It seeems to work really well for us. The lateness of everything was kind of an adjustment, but definately worth it. we are all much more rested and happy with each other. :) We also made a pact to not rush into his room unless we can tell that the cry is distress and he has learned to soothe himself back to sleep. Obviously I'm not perfect, but hopefully something that has worked for me can be passed on to someone who needs it. Good luck and happy sleeping in!!!! We're all in this together. ;)
It sounds like you've tried a variety of things! Good for you trying to problem solve! One thing I would suggest is to drop the bottle before bed. We've found with our 23 month old that if she has anything to eat within an hour or so of going to bed that she will wake poopy. Our current routine is: 8am awake,8:30 or 9am breakfast, 10:30 snack depending how much breakfast she ate, 11am nap, 3pm awake and lunch, 6pm dinner, 8pm bed. She needs time for her body to digest and process that food. We've found that feeding her dinner at 6 and then letting her run and play for 45 minutes or so seems to give her body just that chance and she almost always poops before bed. When she does, she sleeps in a little later and wakes a little happier.
My son was exactly the same. I feel your pain! My son went through a period where he was up at 4:30. I can't really tell you that anything worked, but I can tell you what I tried out of desperation that eventually led to a compromise. The fact that she naturally has a BM at that time is the biggest thing working against you. My son is the only morning person in our house, and also has always had his BM first thing when he wakes up.
We blacked out his windows and got an extra 30 minutes that way. After he is asleep, we would put a non spill container of dry cereal, a sippy cup of diluted juice, and a box of toys and books where he could reach them. This usually gave us another hour before he would demand to get up. We also at one point put a portable DVD player in his room, and when he'd wake up, I'd go in and turn on a Baby Einstein video (set to repeat play). We made sure to always leave the light off and many times, he fell back to sleep. If diaper changes were necessary, we did it in his bed because once we take him out, he won't willingly get back in.
My son is almost 3 now, and is old enough to understand a bit more. If he wakes up before 6 am, I tell him it is still night time and I put him back to bed and tell him I am going back to sleep too and will see him in the morning. Most mornings, he wakes up at 6:30. He comes into our room where we have a corner set up for him with cereal, drink, toys, books, and DVD player. He comes in, and does his own thing while we sleep and can still keep an eye on him. We child proofed our room and left our door with squeaky hinges so I will wake up if he tries to sneak out. We tell him that we are all sleeping until his sister (age 7) wakes up... then, the whole house gets up. This is normally about 8 am.
When my kids (4yo and 24mo) are getting up too early, it's because they aren't getting *enough* sleep. If we put them down after they're already tired, then they have trouble falling asleep and sleeping well. Sounds strange, but in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" Dr. Weisbluth says to slowly inch a child's bedtime *earlier* if they're getting up too early. Our girls go to bed around 7:30pm and get up at 7 (4yo) and 8am (24mo). The little one still takes a 2-3 hour nap during the day.
I also second the white-noise. We have a fan running all night. It helps a lot. You already have blackout curtains, so keep up with those.
Keep trying!
I would try to move her entire schedule back an hour or two. Keep her up from her nap until 12 or 1, then don't put her down until 8 or 9. She may just not need as much sleep as she formerly did, but you don't want that extra awake time to be at 4am.
I wanted to say that my daughter has done the same thing lately - I've attributed it to the sunny morning - we have a black out shade but the sounds of the birds and what not. We put her fan in the room ans she's done better.
She's also had some major constipation issues holding it in - so think about that are you potty training right now - since you mention she is wet or a poo maybe that has something to do with it as well. You may want to consider stopping the night bottle - I know a longer time ago - my daughter would wake up soaked after having a bottle before bed - then we stopped and she slept better. Maybe she's just more aware of her comfort level.
You didn't mention it, but have you tried putting her to sleep later?
Hi M., youu have gotten a lot of great ideas. I just wantedt to add one more: cut the bottle all together. At 21 months children are old enough to eat a dinner at 5:30 and go until morning without food or drink. And sippies do the job. If she is using it to settle down and is looking for it first thing when she wakes up, then she is using it more for a comfort item than a need. Get her a special snuggle blanket or animal instead. In the long run it will make both of your lives easier.
I had the same problem and I bought black out blinds and blackout curtains....which didn't work. Then my friend suggested the marpac sleep conditioner. It's 50$ which is a lot and it just makes one sound (kinda like a fan) I didn't buy it for the longest time because it sounded too expensive and like it wouldn't work. Then I got it and it's fantastic. She sleeps in much later now! I also got one for my newborn and found that I like it too as I no longer hear the trains running by my house at night (they used to wake me up all night especially one really loud one at 3:00 a.m.) It's the best. I got it from amazon. You might also want to try the Good Nite Lite, or the Tot clock, Good luck
