20 Months Old Throws Things Everywhere

It is pretty normal. When he throws a toy, take it away and put it up. Tell him he can have it back when he goes a day without throwing! When he throws food, remove the food. Be very matter of fact, explain it isn't nice and eventually it will sink in. Try also getting him some soft balls and a bucket and tell him he CAN throw these INTO THE BUCKET ONLY, however that is all. Boys especially love throwing, it isn't out of wanting attention, it just what they do. Just teach him consequences and what is okay to throw and what is not! Remove him when he does it and place him on a spot, take the toy/food away. He needs distraction more then anything at this age, he is still young.

Throwing things is a boy thing! I have a five year old boy who still throws stuff, you can't punish it out of him cause he's going to throw stuff-but you can teach him when and where it is appropriate and good to throw and when it isn't. I still have to remind him sometimes-I take away whatever it is he threw and I say "What are you allowed to throw?" balls he says, "and where are you allowed to throw them?" outside he says. That is hard in the winter where we live, so sometimes I let him throw in the toy room if he has a soft ball.

Boys are so different than girls! I had two girls first, and when my boy was about 18 months he really threw me off. I had to develop all new discipline techniques for him because he was so energetic and mischievious--not bad intentionally, just into everything! Good luck-and have fun with him whenever possible.

Take away whatever he throws. Eventually, he won't like that more than he enjoys the throwing. If he throws a car - all his cars go up on a shelf-at least for the rest of the day. If he throws his food, he's done eating. (He may still be hungry - he'll learn that one quickly!)

Good luck!
C.

Hi N.,

My 2 y/o grandson does this. We put him in a time out chair. If he continues we send him to his room until he behaves. It works for us. If that won't work, only give him Nerf toys.

Blessings,
C.

My 2 1/2 year old does the same thing. In our house it is completely unacceptable to hurt someone else so her punishment is pretty severe. She first has to comfort the person. For instance, if she hurts our 8 month old son she hugs and kisses him until he feels better. I have read that when you do this it makes them the caregiver and nurtures their nurturing side. This is especially good when dealing with possible sibling jealousy. Then she has to go in timeout for a minute or two. When she comes out of timeout she has to apologize to the person. Good luck!

Positive reinforcement works in my daycare. Get him interested in doing something else. I just state "we don't throw things, but I bet you'd like to do this puzzle with me" The only time I don't do that is with food. I agree with the taking away his food idea.

A.

He's still quite little, so at this age they are doing things to see what happens. If you get upset every time, he can tell and this probably makes him do it more. I would keep telling him not to do it but also try to redirect him each time to a different toy or activity. At this age it is about patience and persistence. I would also take away they toys he is throwing if he doesn't listen. Remember, he is really not trying to hurt you or anyone. He probably is also trying to get attention away from the baby. Make sure you are trying to give him some quality time while the baby is awake so he feels important. good luck!

A.

Put a see through box high enough that he can't get it, but where he can see it. Everything he throws goes in it. Tell him "this is Toy Time Out" and toys you throw go in it, if you throw something else-you lose a toy. If he throws something that isn't a toy make him pick a toy from his room to put in the box. Say "since you threw that you need to go get me toy to put in the box". He will be able to see all the things he is losing because he is throwing things. If he asks for something in the box tell him it can't come out until he stops throwing things. He will learn fast.

We did the "Toy Time Out" for a few different things with my son. Once for this, once for when he went through the "I refuse to pick up my toys" stage. It works fairly quickly if you stick to it and don't give in.

You know what? My son did it at the same exact time! He's 21 months now, and wow, a month ago, he sure was trying out his arm!
He needs to learn to throw when it's appropriate. A good 1/2 hour outside with a ball did wonders for my son. Of course, that's hard to come by in winter. But it gets the "wiggles" out, lets him try out his new body, and we teach him what we taught my 4 year old (back when he was that age): We only throw balls, and we only throw them outside. Try to keep it positive instead of "no throwing!" say "what do we throw? and where do we throw it?" I also told my son that it hurts momma. He practiced saying sorry (in sign language) and even came over to give me a kiss.
I bet you will notice a big change. I know we have!

Dear N.,
I loved the responses to your question. I have raised 3 boys and am finishing my 4th. Boys especially love anything projectile: sticks, balls, rocks (outside). My boys have made anything that they can pretend to shoot, throw like a javelin or spear. Today my 8yr old was outside making an arrow for his homemade bow. I have been amazed at male energy!

The time out box and similar ideas are so good. Also going outside is wonderful. I would have my boys aim at trees or stumps and throw rocks or snowballs at it- I would join in too. It's just that they think differently that girls/women do. It's just something to marvel at and then contain!

I like soft nerflike balls for play, the bucket to throw into is also a very good idea. What you want to do is direct him to what is ok. You will only be able to direct and then he will get it.
Good luck to you!
H. B. MOM (mother of many-9)