I just want confirmation that having tantrums about almost everything is normal at this age. My little girl is bright and has great verbal skills. She is able to tell us what she wants and doesn't want but still seems to either be really happy or really not. There is no middle ground. If we are going somewhere she cries and runs away because she doesn't want to put her coat, mittens, hat, or shoes on. We have to spend so much time distracting her or getting her coat on an hour before we go anywhere just so that we can leave on time. She cries about not wanting to go in her highchair and not wanting to get out of the tub. She never wants to come inside when it's freezing out. I could go on but it's really wearing on my husband and I. We are at odds on how to handle it and often get into arguements about wheather this is just a stage or is there something wrong with our child.
Also, she cries out ALOT in her sleep. It will be dead silent and then she screams out "No, no, Daddy Daddy or Mommy Mommy" and then cries for less then 30 seconds. This happens nightly and after 3am it happens more often. I have no idea what is going on. I have stopped running into her room because she is doing this in her sleep, and if I stir her up she wakes up and gets stimulated and wants out of the crib. If I don't pick her up she of course has a tantrum. No fun at 3am, 4am, or 5am.
Anyway, please give me some advice or some consulation that this is a stage that will pass. Also, I have read every book out there and nothing has worked.
Thank you.
J.
I can totally relate.My 20 month old daughter had a tantrum just this morning because I changed MY socks. They sometimes come out of nowhere and I feel just as helpless as you do. I try to disctract and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Haven't found any good answers yet.
I had some similar experiences with my son (now 3). I recommend the book "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheed Kurcinka. Some kids are just built more intense and getting them through the day (and night) can be more complicated. But this book is very practical and helpful and helped our family figure some things out about , for instance, transitions, handling tantrums, riding the waves of extreme emotions. Also, I found this article on tantrums very helpful:
http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/how-to-end-temper-tantrums/
This can be a tough one but you can figure it out. Be patient with your child AND with yourself!
Rest assurred you are not alone! my 20 month son is going through THE SAME thing too! I just keep reminding myself at 1, 3, 5am that "this too shall pass". That is SO hard to do some mornings but it HAS TO pass. We never went through this with our older child so we to are often at our wits end.
Hang in there. Hopefully they will turn a corner and will become the lovely sleep through the night children we know they are!! Good luck!
R.
Jaime,
I am not sure if this will be of help to you but there is a new TV show, called Surviving Motherhood on TLC, aires at 9am. On Monday morning the topic is night terrors...might be beneficial to watch to learn how to help your daughter get through those. Again, it aires Monday morning Dec. 11 at 9am Surviving Motherhood. Its a great show, and even though I have not been through most of what the mothers have been through its a great show to watch and learn from.
I know that it is normal to throw tantrums when they are that age. But it sounds to me as though it happens constantly. I would not stand for that at all. Do you yell at her when she does this? If so, maybe she's having bad dreams about that causing her to cry out in her sleep. It sounds like a behavior problem that needs to be dealt with. Maybe you should seek counceling for her. She should not be allowed to run you and your husband ragged like that.
I have 2 girls and my first was so easy-going, hardly ever had a tantrum--just really go with the flow kind of child. Wow, what a difference my youngest one is! She is 17 months old and she sounds a lot like your daughter.
I have figured out that my daughter has a hard time with transitions and she likes to chose to do things on her own. What has really been working for me is I try to get her to do things on her own or help me with them. For instance, when it is time to change her diaper usually I would get an awful tantrum. Now I say, "Okay Kendal, it's time to change your diaper. Can you show mommy where your diapers are?" And I will keep on with it and have her pull the diaper out for me. Or if we need to get her coat on I will say, "We are going to go bye-bye, go get your coat and help mommy put it on." You might think I am nuts but she loves to help me and in her mind it isn't like I am making her do anything, she gets to make up her own mind.
She also has the same night problems and I haven't found out anyway to help that at all. There are times that she cries out 4-5 different times a night! If you find out anything about that issue please let me know. Good luck!
A.
Wow- you just perfectly described my 18 month old. Literally, every single detail- it was almost erie. Anyway, I don't have any advice on how to stop it all, but I felt like I had to respond to this one. I always thought this is just how toddlers act. She is my first and only, so I have nothing to gauge the behavior against. Distraction works a lot of the time, and when its cold out I won't even let her feet touch the ground outside because I know it will be an enormous struggle to get her back in the house. When she fights me in the bathtub, I start to splash around like she is but I laugh and keep it light- that seems to defuse the tantrum. To get her in her highchair I put in her favorite sign language or Spanish video in and position her chair so she can see the TV (I know a bunch of Moms would be crying foul for letting my child watch TV while she eats, but it works and the alternative is scarey). When I try to get her coat on she runs and screams too- usually I make a game out of that (I'm gonna get you type thing) and she'll start to laugh and end up cornered. Also getting her in her carseat is often a struggle. I do not want to ever physically overpower her to get her in it, that just feels wrong, so it can take a few tries sometimes.
As far as the nighttime yelling goes, my daycare provider said it sounded like night terrors and to just get up and hold her and try to comfort her until it passes, which I don't mind doing at all. I'm crazy exhausted, but I feel really bad that she is waking up (or not waking up, whatever) terrified and crying. I'm not sure what to do with that.
Sorry for the ultra-long response, but hopefully some of my tactics might come in handy. Please let me know if you find anything that works too, I could definitely use the advice!
Dear J.,
I would say your kid is experiencing nightmares/terrors and this is one of many syptoms of sleep disorder. How is she in the morning, crabby or rested? does she remember or not remember waking and screaming? If she is having bad days after the screaming episodes and does not remember the episodes, those are definate signs. Do some research online and start a "Sleep Diary" for her. Most Ped's will dismiss diagnosing a child with Sleep Disorder without having documentation over a very long period of time. In fact, most Sleep Disorders go un diagnosed and un treated because parents and doctors are likely to dismiss it as " a phase" All kids have nightmares, its a part of life but, when it begins to interfere with behavoir and is happing frequently over a long period of time, its time to start documenting so you can get the help your daughter needs. C. M.
Her tantrums are normal. She is probaly trying to test you and play the power struggle game. Be CONSISTANT and don't ever give in to a tantrum even if it shhhhh's her faster. Be firm and tuff show her who's the parent. If she's throwing a fit because she wants something like candy or toy donot give it to her and ignore her and walk away. After a few days of this she should get the picture and stop. My daughter is also very bright and has always been very verbal and did the same thing to me and now at age 5 trys it once in awhile. I will look at her and say NO because your whining and I never give in. It get's easier so hang in there. Every once in awhile I will randomly surprise my daughter with a treat or toy and tell her this is because you didn't ask for it, you didn't beg, and you didn't throw a fit because you've been such a good girl and I try and use positive reinforcement.
