20 Month Old Doesnt Say 'Mama' or 'Dada'

Updated on April 23, 2009
A.M. asks from Englewood, NJ
27 answers

When my son was about 16 months old he said mama and dada, mostly just saying it but sometimes actually to us. If you asked him then wheres daddy or mommy he would point to us correctly. Recently he has stopped doing that entirely, he wont even say mama or mommy. The only persons name he says is my dad (pop pop) but again he actually call him pop pop or even just say it unless you ask him to. He used to tell you what the bee, dog and cat said, now theres nothing. He still will point to body parts when you ask him where there are but sometimes he will just point to him nose repeatedly no matter what I ask him to 'find' on his body. Really the only words he uses on a regular basis and on his own are please,up and down. Could something be wrong? Im just really wondering why he used to do some of these things and then suddenly stopped. I dont know if I should call the doctor b/c he always stressed whether or not my son was saying mama and dada.
Thanks for any advice.

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So What Happened?

First, thank you all so much for the responses and support. I spoke to the doctor and he asked me tons of questions and came to the conclusion that my son is fine. He said that if there was any other regression that I should make an appointment. Im not totally satisfied with this but I have noticed in the past couple days that my son has been saying 'Aw, ma', or at least thats what it sounds like, when he is upset with something Ive said or done. There is still no, mama or dada, but he did say Pop Pop (for his grandfather) the other day when he 'found' him in the bathroom.
Part of me still feels guilty, I dont know if thats the right word, for thinking that their might be something wrong. I certainly dont wish that something were wrong, I just wish that the doctor and my fiance took my concerns a bit more seriously.
And I have looked into the early intervention program and am so interested in setting something up. My fiance doesnt see the need to do this, even though I told him its free and they will come to us. We still need to discuss it some more b/c I dont want to just go behind his back and set up an appointment. Yet I would feel so much better knowing either way for sure, especially since my son would be able to get the help that he needs sooner or hopefully nothing would be wrong.
Thank you guys again.

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L.W.

answers from New York on

Look up the phone number for birth to three in ct on the net and contact them for an evaluation. I hope for you that it is nothing to be concerned about but if it is, early intervention is extremely effective!! All the best!! L. W

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B.Q.

answers from Syracuse on

I would say you would need to go through a program called early intervention, just to be safe. They will evaluate him and go from there.....the services are free and the people come to you.

My son was diagnosed with a speech delay at 2 years and went through early intervention and tested out by the time he was 4. Don't worry, every child develops at a different pace.

About me: 40 year old SAHM/business owner and former teacher of 12 years.

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C.G.

answers from New York on

A., I wouldn't worry too much, my 20 month old used to do things that she doesn't now. I just think they are growing and changing so much at this stage. Is he walking, running fine? (Gross motor skills okay?)
Just for peace of mind for you, I would make an appt with the Ped just to make yourself feel better.
I hope I was of SOME help....where are you located? I am also a SAHM...

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A.H.

answers from New York on

I would call your doctor. It could be that he had a shot at the dr. and it has caused a problem. Many people believe that shots are the cause of different types of illness in kids. After the doctor looks at him call your board of education in town to have him tested. they can tell you what they think. He should be talking at least 10 - 15 words by age 18 months. By 2 they usually have a lot more to say. Early help is the best thing. good luck
p.s. my daughter talked at 9 mo. but you couldn't understand a thing she said.. she babbled real fast and slurred her words.. at 2 she was found to have a hearing loss.. we took care of the issue.. and she is fine now.. so go - make that call and get the issue taken care of....

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I would have him evaulated by Early Intervention in your county. At 20 months he should have more words. There could be some hearing issue, neurological issue, or nothing at all. Are you speaking for him? Are there older children speaking for him? SOmetimes we don't realize we speak for the children and then they don't need to speak.
Don't stress and just call. The evaluation is free and could put your mind at ease and if there is an issue its better to work on it now.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,
If your child is losing language, I would let his doctor know this and seek a referral to the appropriate specialist. I am not in a position to tell you whether something is wrong, but at 20 months, there should be language being gained on a steady basis, not being lost. I wouldnt' ask him to say words, that's not natural language - using words spontaneously is how language is obtained. He may not need to say mama and dada - he may just speak to you if you are there. I don't always say someone's name when they're right next to me and speak to them, he may figure that you know who you are, and he knows who you are, but if he is not using other words, I would have some concerns
Good luck

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H.G.

answers from New York on

It can't hurt to call a speech therapist. It's very possible that he's just fine, but focusing on other things/milestones right now. But you'll be worried and anxious until you know for sure! Call a professional, and they'll evaluate your little one.

If he needs a little help, the earlier the better! Then he'll be talking your ear off before you know it! If he doesn't, then you can rest easy and not worry about it anymore. :)

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A.H.

answers from New York on

Hello A.,

I would make an appointment with his doctor just to ease your concern.

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J.I.

answers from Buffalo on

You should make an appointment to have him evaluated. I'm not sure where you live, but here in NY there is Early Intervention run through the county which will evaluate and provide services in your own home free of charge. This is for children from birth through age three. You can look up the number and call yourself or your pediatrician can give you information on this. Good Luck!

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I am going to echo the others, but I don't want you to feel alarmed or stressed... I did it with my daughter. I asked the pediatrician about it and she gave me the number for early intervention. I had my daughter evaluated and she qualified. I wasn't upset about it either.... I was really happy that she would have teachers coming over and teaching me ways to help her to talk.

Anyway, after a while of working with the teachers, they helped in 2 ways. One, they taught me how to play with her in a way that inspired her growth in learning and communication. Two, they were able to pinpoint why she wasn't talking and we have her getting the right help.

Feel free to email me with questions or just to talk. I feel like a lot of your responses sounded alarming and they shouldn't be. It is what it is and your son is who he is.... having teachers tell you how to inspire him based on his needs would be a gift.

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M.M.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi,
I would definetly talk to your doctor about it. See if he/she can refer you to a speech and hearing agency to get evaluated. It is never to early to start services. My son currently recieves speech and we are thrilled with his progress. Good luck.

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M.W.

answers from New York on

I am a speech pathologist as well and yes, call your pediatrician and go through Early Intervention. Even if there is nothing seriously wrong, you are seeing a change and he is losing words. The earlier that intervention starts - the better. So, call today and get the referral process going and professionals that are trained can come in and evaluate your son and get you in the right direction. I saw the one post that maybe he is bored, but likely that would not result in what you are describing at this age. So - go to the pediatrician and early intervention. Good luck!

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P.C.

answers from New York on

Don't worry about a thing. Your son is a lot smarted than you think! He mastered Mama and DaDa a long time ago and he is bored with it. Most kids do this and will eventually come back to it later on. Keep stimulating him with new words and new things to see. He is a very observant baby and is taking it all in. He probably is getting all his needs met without verbalizing. That is fine too. Don't think that you have to withold things from him until he "performs" for you. Let him be. He is doing things at his own pace. Don't worry. Suddenly he will be speaking in sentences & you will make a double take saying, .... "How did he know that?" ;)

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L.N.

answers from New York on

The only reason why I would suggest taking him to pediatrician is because he used to say these words and now he doesn't. If he hadn't said them before than I'd say he's a late talker but regression, even though it is normal to occur and it does occur, in this case I think the regression is kind of late (him being 20 months old). Regression is normal, if i remember correctly, between the age 15 and 18 months. Anyways, another reason, personal experience, when my daughter started losing the words she knew (18 months), i had her tested with the EIP and she didn't score well, so she had to take speech therapy for 9 months. give it a shot. don't just call, call and make an appt then discuss it with your pediatrician
good luck

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L.H.

answers from New York on

This might sound rediculous to you, but it sounds like your son is board and ready to move on to other words or physical things to do. Let him hear bigger words...maybe 2 sylable words. Take him out and talk to him in the supermarket about stuff you see there. (Example: in the snack isle, "Wow look at all the shiny bags, which one do you like?") Move on to colors by saying the colors while coloring in a coloring book...

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A.D.

answers from New York on

While I would definitely talk to your doctor at your son's next appointment (or make an appt if the next is a while from now), I would not panic. Some kids decide not to talk until they can speak in sentences (and then they don't stop).

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A.S.

answers from New York on

I would agree with the speech language pathologist who posted. You should get a referral to the Birth to Three program and have him evaluated. This will either alleviate any concerns you have, or get him started on therapy. Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Glens Falls on

Hello,
I'm new to this site but am familiar with child development and particularly speech and language aquisition. I wanted you to be aware of local resources and to not be afraid to call and utilize them. There is a team of children's developmental and emotional health specialists who meet regularly and who provide developmental screenings, evaluations, support and education to families and connections to other professionals such as speech therapists when necessary. There is a process of referral and you can get in touch with someone from this team (called Children's Integrated Services) by calling the Addison County Parent Child Center at ###-###-####. For children ages birth to three,for developmental concerns, the program in VT is called Family Infant and Toddler Program and Addison Co serves all the towns in the county.
I encourage you to follow your gut and if you have concerns, get more information and perhaps have your child screened. You do not need to have a physician referral. Many doctors do developmental screenings but many do not and some do not have the expertise and don't see problems where there are some.
Children very generally should have about 20 words at 18 months and 50 at age two and be begining to combine words at 2yr. (ex. "mama, juice"; "car go"). Many factors contribute to speech development and it's not always as simple as just a word count. I encourage you to get your questions answered. A child who had some words and "lost" them is a "red flag" and should be looked at.
I hope this helps.
CM

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J.L.

answers from New York on

I would start by getting his hearing checked. Many children pass their screening at birth but have lose some of their hearing as they get older. Could be due to many things. Start with hearing and move onto speech. Reach out to early intervention in your area. It could be nothing but it can't hurt to check it out. Be persistant because many pediatricians are quick to dismiss hearing issues because they are not familiar with them

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Dear A.,

I agree with the rest of the mamas. Take him to the pediatrician. It could help a lot, and it certainly won't hurt.

In addition to describing the problem as you've described it above, you might want to try to pinpoint any changes that happened shortly before you observed this change. Has your son recently had:

* any vaccinations
* any colds/fevers/ear infections?
* any new foods in his diet?

Best wishes,

Mira

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M.R.

answers from Utica on

My dear, A. M you have nothing to worried about, kids go through different changes and do things different from grown ups. When my daughter was about the same age she use to say daddy and mommy also, I went on a 30 days vocation with my two boys, while my wife was still in Korea, once I return and meet up with them in New York, my wife said one day, hey M., which is short for Michael, and after that she start calling me M., for several month it was M. to her, and E, which is Short for Elaine, at first I was wondering the same. But when kids pick up something new , that is what they go with, but he will come back. Once she turn 3 she start to go back to the body parts and other things that she used to do, it was like a recall of earlier learning stuff. But it also have to do with what words they hear on a daily basic. One way we got the change, back was to have her sit on us and call the other party, (ie) DADDY, or MOMMY come here please, and she will repeat it.

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A.C.

answers from Syracuse on

Maybe, maybe not. Language delays can be just delays and other times they are a sign of other issues. Loss of language is also a concern. I would talk to your dr. I have a son who is mildly autistic, and he didn't talk until he was 2. Of course when he started talking, it was in full sentences and shortly followed by the ability to read (without my teaching). When he was your childs age, I talked to the dr about it who said I had no worries. This what exactly what I hoped to hear so I let it go even though somewhere inside i knew I should look further. He didn't end up diagnosed until he was 6 and having behavioral issues at school that the school thought was just poor parenting.

In retrospect, I wish that we had gotten him into the various available therapies at a younger age. I often wonder if he had gotten speech and physical therapy etc when he was 2, would he have even had issues when he entered kindegarten.

I don't mean to scare you. I want to tell you not to worry. Hopefully your son's delay is just a delay or he is just being stubborn in refusing mama and dada. But I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. Oh and if you child ends up needing speech therapy...with or without some kind of diagnosis...don't worry -- the kids think its alot of fun!!

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R.E.

answers from New York on

have him evaluated by a specialist. also, if you give vaccinations, when were the last set? you can also call the state and have speech services free until three years old. can't remember who, but your pediatrician should know. children usually advance, not the othere way around, unless there may be a problem. good luck.

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T.W.

answers from New York on

I would say YES, definitly make an appt with the ped asap and request a referral whatever your state has for resources. In CT it is the Birth to Three program. My son had a delay at that age and they were great. But since there is a regression, I would make sure they take it seriously. The sooner you get an evaluation, the sooner any therapy can start if needed. Even if it turns out to be just stubborness, you will know that you did the right thing. Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from New York on

Hi,
I am a speech language pathologist. It sounds like you know your son well and have described a change in what he is able to call out in words. I would not be alarmed but I would recommend that you see your son's pediatrician and tell him what you have observed and written here. Your observations are very important in helping professionals assess if you need to seek further advice. Any parent who is concerned about their child's speech and language progress can call the 800 number for the Connecticut Birth to Three Services and ask for an evaluation. In the past this has been free but you need to check with them. Tell them your concerns, and many times they can handle things on the phone or will schedule an appointment to come to your home and evaluate your child.
I have a website with lots of information on encouraging speech and language in kids at www.playonwords.com
Good luck!
S. Artemenko MA, CCC, SLP

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

A.,

He was talking and then he stopped. go to the doctor, and don't take no for an answer. Even if you have to switch ped's, get a referral for speech therapy or at least a specialist's diagnosis.

Some kids are late talkers, but I haven't heard of one that talks and then stops.

Good luck, and let me know how you do with this, please,
M.

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A.W.

answers from New York on

I don't want to get you concerned with possible problems because I am not a medical professional, but having said that you should absolutely see your pediatrician and if they won't see you go somewhere else. While some children progress at different levels, regression should always be looked into to rule out any problems. Good luck!

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