2 Yr Old Wont Stay in Bed

Hey A.,

I am a single mom that has an almost 2yr old son. We had the stay in bed issue all along. Mostly I was wiped out and simply gave in so I can get sleep. What I have done with him was put a calendar on his door (in his room) and every night he goes to sleep in his bed and stays there til morning he gets a sticker to put on the calendar. I also let him have the sticker for his shirt. He gets to pick the sticker and I just keep reinforcing it. In the past month he has gone to bed in his bed every night and only snuck into to bed with me 4 times. To get him to sleep I still have to lay with him till he falls asleep. I am slowly getting a little farther away so he does not need that connection all night. Keep in mind that kids are all unique. This happens to be working for him. Good luck.It's not easy.

Jen P

Hi A.
I think your son's SPD is one of the reasons he is sleeping in your room ther is something about his bed he doesn't like do you have the same feel sheets. Is your bed softer or harder than his. My daughter also has SPD and we went through this also. Now she will fall asleep in our bed understanding that when we come to bed she will be put in her own bed. Will he sleep in his tent on your floor. At this age they really still like to be close to mom and dad. I hope something helps have you talked to his theripist some times they have good ideas. Good luck :) T.

I have two boys (ages 2 and 4) and although we let them sleep in our bed at night...they sleep in their room when they take a nap. I know a lot of parents scoff at the idea of letting your kids sleep with you, but it has actually made us a very close family and our kids are very comfortable and secure. But back to your problem....when my 4 year old was 2 he would do the same thing (and now my 2 year old does it too) and I would just bring a book in the room for myself and sit down with him until he fell asleep which wouldn't take very long. He eventually grew out of this and he has no problem sleeping on his own. Kids have a lot of fears and I think that 2 years old is a little young to make a child "face" those fears.

It might be that he just wants to be next to you. My son did the same thing. It got to were all it took was to lay down with him in HIS OWN BED till he fell asleep (about 5-10 min). The only problem with that it became habit until this last summer when he decided he would go to sleep on his own; before he started Middle School (he was 11; now 12).

Maybe a sticker chart with some sort of reward when he fills it up might help. Our almost 4 year old daughter has been crawling in bed with us lately too. She said she is scared and the sticker chart seems to be doing the trick. We also have her "spray" her room for monsters. I have an empty spray bottle that she uses. Hope that helps a little.

Hi A.,
My son is going to turn 3 next week. He has shared his room with his 4 yr old sister since they were placed with us a yr ago(we adopted them in November).
Once we moved him to his toddler bed, in December, he was sleeping fine. Until about a month ago. He started getting out of bed and standing in the hall listening to those of us that were up. He was going to bed at 7pm. then after he would fall asleep, his 4 yr old sister would then go to bed. She was going to bed about 8:30ish. My problem with his sister, she would sleep until 9am and he would get up at 5:30 6ish. So, we switched. She goes to bed about 7 7:30, we keep him up until 8:30(hoping she is asleep by that time, and mostly is) He falls asleep almost right away and sleeps until almost 6:30. (Note: they both still take naps in the afternoon-in separate rooms-not in our bedrm)
When either of them gets out of bed we gently guide them back to bed and tell them to stay there. If they come out again, we gently guide them back to bed, not saying anything to them. This has been working as she doesn't get out of bed anymore(only happened right after we got them) and he is doing it less and less.
We had a big problem because the foster home they were in, the 'Mom' always let my daughter crawl into bed with her. The Foster 'Mom' had her for two yrs. So we had to figure out that my daughter needed the extra cuddle with me more during the day so she wouldn't be rewuired to have it at night.
I don't know if any of this will help you but I wouldn't give in to letting them in our bed to sleep, at least not all night. And it is far an few times that my 6 yr old son has fallen asleep in our bed and then we move him to his bed. I would guess that he has falled asleep in our bed a total of 5 times. Slept with us 3 times.(not including vacations in hotels) His whole life. He will be 7 this week. We will be moving our 3 yr old into the 7 yr olds room with-in the month. I know that this will stir the house up again but we are prepared.
As for the temper tantrums, they will subside. He will learn that they don't work to get into your bed. All of you may get less sleep for a little while, but it will be worth it in the end. Just don't give up. Keep taking him back to his room.
My daughter stopped the tantrums about 4 days, my son about 7 to 9 days. He sometimes forgets, but he is still in the learning stage. He now gets up maybe once a week.
As for 'monsters', cause we are in this stage right now too. I have a lavender sheet spray. I will spray one squirt in the middle of the room. My kids call it the 'sleep spray'. Takes care of monsters too. I only spray it when someone gets scared or can't sleep. Not every night.
Take what you will and leave the rest behind. Hope this helps.
Good luck and praying helps too.
L.

Married 9 yrs - SAHM - 7 yr old boy, 4.5 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy.(two youngest adopted, oldest is invetro) All specail kids. All Gods children.

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April 11,2008

I know have to EDIT my response.

We have changed our routine since I last posted here and it has worked wonders. No we did not move the 3 yr old son into the 7 yr olds(son) room yet but I moved the 3 yr olds nap to 10 am. He eats lunch when he wakes up, about 1.5 - 2 hrs of sleep.
I stopped my 4.5 yr old daughters naps and we started putting them all down at 8 pm. It has been working WONDERFULLY! (fingers crossed)
If by chance I could not put my 3 yr old son down for his 10am nap, I skipped it and let him stay up all day. He starts to get drowzy about 7:30 and will crawl into the easy chair and snuggle with day until 8. WONDERFUL I tell you. I hope to keep this up even after I move him into the other room.
I hope something is working for you. Remember, if you try something new, try it for at least a month before you change things again(if they are not working for you)

L.

Married 9 yrs - 44 yrs old - SAHM - 7 yr old boy, 4.5 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy.(two youngest adopted, oldest is invetro) All specail kids. All Gods children.

A., i am a mom of 3 boys, and understand how hard it is to have them not sleep in their room, however, its ok to let them in your room and give them the comfort they need, and i understand the need for your own space, so this is what we did, we saved a crib mattress, and slid it under our bed all made up for a child to sleep in, if and when they needed to sleep in our room we slid the mattress out and they slept there, this gave us our bed, we still could do mommy daddy stuff, but quiter,the child was happy and we all slept, they eventually went into their own rooms, and every night we would start them there, but then occasionally if they needed it, they knew it was there, sometimes they just knowing its available is enough to give them security, keep being a good mom and hope it helps, and he is only just two, each child is different, and he might have a valid reason for wanting to be with you ? dont know, and who knows, they were made with the skill to tell us what they need, we were made to fill their needs, its ok, sleep tight, D. s

When my son did this we tried a special breakfast for a reward. We also put a clock in his room and showed him what 7:00 looked like so he knew when he could come out and still get his reward. Sticker charts also helped a lot if I got stickers that he really liked. If he stayed in his bed enough time he earned a trip to his favorite park, etc. Good luck!

I'm also a sahm with four children (18, 17, 13 & 7). Married for 28 years.