2 Yo Interacting with Other Children. Problems, Fights, Toys, Etc...

Updated on June 23, 2011
B.R. asks from Millville, UT
4 answers

I'm hoping to find some advice from all on what you do in certain situations. Interactions with other kids at this stage (especially his own age) seem to be a little difficult (not that I think this is abnormal). I'm wondering when fights start over toys if, when and at what point you jump into the mix? Do you have different rules in different settings (at your home, someone elses home, out in public)? My son is very good about not taking toys from other kids, he never does. But, very often, I see other kids rip toys out of his hands, and I'm not sure what to do. I tell him that he needs to share and he usually does, but I see that some mom's start to take advantage of the situation and ignore all of the situations that come up, letting me take control by basically only disciplining my child. I don't really feel that it's fair to my child, but I'm not sure what to do. My son has started hitting lately which I am not okay with, but I need to hear other "sides of the stories" to decide how I really feel and will react in the future to these situations. I've set up play dates at my house twice a week for the rest of the summer and I need to start feeling comfortable in these situations as soon as possible. And please, don't be hestitant at all to answer, I would love to hear everyones advice!

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answers from Salt Lake City on

If it's a playdate or something where you know the other parents and kids, I wouldn't feel bad about intervening as soon as something happens. If you see someone pull a toy out of another kid's hand (your son's or someone else's) go ahead and step in. Just say "he was playing with that, lets find something else." This way you are preventing things from escalating into hitting before it gets there (the best way to deal with it at this age). I know you don't want to be the only one disciplining/supervising the kids. Maybe if you see that a certain mom seems to let you do it all, you can talk to her (outside of the playdate situation) and say something about it - that you notice that you end up being the one stepping in, and you feel awkward when it's her child, and would like her to do something. Most moms will step up. And the ones that don't .... well, you get to choose who you get together with for playdates, right?


answers from Boston on

that happens to my son a lot at playgrounds. If he does not know the other child he will submit and it does upset me because it was something he was playing with. If I see that a parent is with this child I will say something politely like, " oh honey can you give that back please, my son was not finished playing with it yet" and they usually look at you and drop the toy and continue on playing somewhere else. It aggrevates me that parents arent watching their kids, and that they allow things like this to happen. But if your son or daughter is old enough you should also to teach them to start saying, "excuse me I was playing with that" nicely, so that they are not also being rude. Pick your battles, if your kid seems unaffected and immediately picks up something else to play with, let it go. But if your child was literally in mid play with an item, then I would speak up for him for now. They will find their voices as they get older. And to all you parents out there who are non-complacent about this, dont be- its rude and unfair to well behaved children out there.


answers from New York on

the other side of the coin is if you always jump in and tell the other kid "my son was playing with that" you are teaching your son NOT to stand up for himself, that he cant handle things on his own he NEEDS mommy. these kids are acting like normal two year olds. Always tell you son to say "I was playing with that" if he want to Do not teach him to be helpless


answers from Williamsport on

Don't worry about the mandy pandies. Discipline your son. It's good for him, not bad for him. Including for hitting. Mine all got disciplined for everything firmly, but with a logical non angry tone at age 2 and younger, and they have always been great, happy, tough kids. They're the sharing non hitters and non snatchers who also didn't really care if other people were hitting and snatching. Although one kid kept hitting my son in gym day care every day and making him cry when he was 2 1/2 so I taught him to fight back. But other than that, teaching your son to act well is not unfair to him. Other people's kids are their problem. And on many occasions parents have stepped up to handle their kids if I'm handling mine. And if they don't, so what? My kids always learned that some kids have parents that let them do wrong things, unfortunately, mine didn't get that lucky :)
Oh, and as for jumping in, I rarely do unless one of my own kids is doing something wrong. If they are upset at another kid for snatching, that's for them to work out on their own and the other mom (or not). Kids often don't even care when something gets snatched, but if they do, I've taught my kids not to throw fits when other kids are being bratty. It's never too young to learn that "life is unfair". If they pointy a teary finger at the item that got snatched, I say, "Well, sweetie, snatch it back or play with something else." That doesn't mean mine are allowed to snatch though.

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