2 Year Old Will Not Do Number 2 in Toilet!!!

Updated on March 26, 2008
L.M. asks from Fayetteville, NC
23 answers

Does anyone have anysuggestions on how to get a toddler to poop in toilet and not in pull up. I feel like I should still keep buying regular diapers. He will tell me he has to go pee and I quiclky take him and he does it. But he will not tell me he has to go poop, and he knows what it is cause he will say he stinky. I have caught him a few times when he is starting to and I get him to the bathroom and he finishes in the toilet but that is the only time he will go. I sit him on the toilet after he eats for a while and when he first wakes up in th e morning because everytime he comes off the toilet or if he may have peed in the pull up he will do the number 2 right after no matter how long I wait he seems to do it everytime.I do praise him for every accomplishment literally and he continues to accomplish things but he won't accomplish this one even though I praise him for it cause he loves being called a big boy. i do know that some things take time for some kids cause it took me 2 weeks to potty train my older son whom they are night and day(lol). Right now I am buy 2 sets of diapers cause I have a infant now. please help with any kind of advice!!!!

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D.B.

answers from Louisville on

I have three boys. I remember potty training well. It helped when they picked out their own big boy underwear.

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K.F.

answers from Louisville on

L.,

Just keep doing what you are doing and be patient. I had the same issue with my youngest son. He refused to go on the toilet at all. I talked to doctors, child care professionals, and even physchologists. They all said the same thing...he will do it when he is ready. My husband ignord their advice and punished him for his 'accidents". Things went from bad to worse. He started "holding" it in. He would go for a week at a time and not have a bowel movement. One doctor said something that put it into perspective..."I've never sent one off to college in a diaper!" Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Lexington on

he is only 2. just give him some time. some pediatricians now think that it can take up to age four for a child to gain complete control of their bowels. if you push it too hard you could cause your son to have sever constipation. you can either keep buying the diapers, or just wash out the underwear all of the time. also he may be more likely to learn to use the potty if he had on real underpants, instead of a diaper. just relax, he is still young.

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B.D.

answers from Fayetteville on

The most important thing to remember is to use their timeline, not yours. Rushing potty training will take longer than one who is ready to make the transition. You will see signs. Hiding to go #2, letting you know when they are "stinky", etc. And don't forget, you shouldn't punish for using their diaper. You will scare them into thinking that #2 is bad. Toddlers don't have the capability to understand the difference between you getting upset at going #2, or going #2 in their diaper. Good luck. I have two more to potty train!

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K.A.

answers from Hickory on

I went thru a similar thing with my daughter. She would pee in the potty but never poop in the potty. I bought a bunch of cheap underwear and just would just throw it out. No Pull up/diaper during the day. I also, tried buying Dora/Princess underwear for her and told her they would be sooo sad if she pooped on them. Reiterate pooping in the potty by dumping the poop in the diaper/underwear into the potty and say "bye bye poop." And tell him if he poops in the potty he gets a treat. Make a drawer/box especially for treats and put Smarties candy, matchbox cars, and/or anything else he really likes. This did wonders for my daughter. Hope everything works out. Good Luck! K.

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L.S.

answers from Raleigh on

The average boy potty trains between 2.5 and 3 yrs of age. Don't fret over this! Just continue with diapers or pull-ups until he is ready. He WILL let you know. I am the owner of a child care center, and I have watched and helped thousands of children become potty trained. They ALL will do it, and they will ALL do it at a time that is right for them! Being fretful only causes problems for you and your boy. Just relax, let the process work itself out.

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T.S.

answers from Asheville on

I have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. For both of them I did a pee-pee and poo-poo dance and they loved it. My 5 year old had trouble at that age also, so what I did is make a calendar and bought some stickers and everytime he pooped in the potty I would let him help put the sticker on for that day. After about 4 poops, I would buy him a surprise like a little car or something small do it didn't break the bank. After he got regular we quit doing it and there was no problem adjusting. I hope this helps

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M.Z.

answers from Charlotte on

My son is 4 now, but he was day trained for #1 when he was 2 1/2 years old. He would not poop in the potty for the longest time-- I allowed him to wear a diaper at naptime and bedtime and he would always wait for that naptime diaper to poop. Finally, I started reading to him while he sat on the potty before nap time-- I mean we were there for like 20 or 30 minutes (he likes books). I also took his favorite animal (his doggie) and put raisins in my hand and pretended doggy was straining and then doggie "pooped" in the potty-- which he thought was hillarious. Finally, one day, he pooped in the potty-- it was like he finally got it or something -- and I gave him a hersey's kiss and we never had another problem with it. It took almost 6 months before he pooped in the potty-- but I think he just didn't understand what we wanted him to do..... Hope it helps.

Mel

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D.H.

answers from Memphis on

A friend of mine had the same problem with her 2nd son. He would actually go hide to poop rather than go in the toilet. My friend's brother-in-law is a pediatrician, and he said it was quite normal (especially for boys) ... he said the kids somehow think they're losing some part of themselves if they let the poop go in the toilet. Pee is not a solid substance, so that doesn't seem to bother them. You might try talking through (in simple terms) what poop is and why it's important to get rid of it, using rewards for saying 'Bye Bye' to the poop down the toilet. My friend made up a little rhyme to help her son ... wish I could remember it, but it's been 20 years!

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K.F.

answers from Charlotte on

Stop!!!!! He is only 2 for goodness sake. I'm not sure when the number game started with being able to control bodily functions but that just seems to be the way it's done in this country. Put him back in diapers even if that makes him more comfortable, but stop the pressure. Boys physiologically do not mature until around the ages of 3 to 4. Believe me he will not go to school in a diaper!! Once you stop all the forcing of the toilet nature will do her thing and he will be training you before you know it.  My son was just shy of his 3rd birthday and he came out of diapers completely with no accidents or relapses. Also no bed wetting. Every time HE acts like he wants to sit on the toilet let him, even if he does nothing tell him that's right. You could use the pullups but that will confuse him when you transition to underwear after diapers. Just remember a little inconvience for you now will make his life a whole lot nicer. I'm a 54 yr. old disabled R.N. with a 17 yr old son (potty trained now)that I just let nature do her thing and when he physically was developed he used the toilet. Hope this will help and you will relax and so will he. K. F.

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M.T.

answers from Raleigh on

Based on advice from other friends with boys we didn't do any formal potty training with our son. We made everything available and would put him on the toilet whenever he asked, but we just waited until he decided he was ready, so he started peeing in the toilet regularly at 34 months, but when I tried to get him to poop on the potty as well, he didn't go at all for three days and was in so much pain when he finally did. So I decided that he could continue pooping in his diaper as long as he needed to--he started peeing in the toilet when he was ready, and he would do the same with poop too. So, we left him alone about it, and at 35 months he one day hopped out of the bathtub because he had to poop, and that was that.

I know it's frustrating, but your son is still young, and boys do tend to potty train later. I say to just go with it, leave him alone about it, and eventually he WILL get there. Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Raleigh on

My son turns 3 on Tuesday and he's been potty trained on #1 for about a month. We're also having issues with going #2 on the potty but it's slowly getting better. We went cold turkey one day with the whole process making the switch to "big boy underwear" and never looking back to diapers. The only time he wears a pull up is at nighttime. As for the pooping issue, the only thing that seems to be working for us is to constantly ask him and/or remind him about going poopy on the potty. 9 times out of 10 he will say "no - I don't have to go" but just last night he told me he had to go right after his bath and sure enough, he sat on the potty and did it beautifully! We've had success with rewarding him for using the potty - everything from special stickers to special candy that he only gets when he poops and that really gets him excited. We made a wall chart to put up in the bathroom where he puts his stickers after he earns them and he feels very proud of himself when he gets to do that. Boys potty train much later typically so I'm impressed at the progress your son has made at age 2 - you should be very pleased. Hang in there, he'll figure it out. Good luck!

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T.C.

answers from Charlotte on

Mine wont' either! The only thing I can suggest is to not make it out to be a gross thing, ever. You know when you are changing their diaper and stuff. I think they get embarrassed about it.

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A.W.

answers from Clarksville on

I had the same problem with my girl. We tried rewarding her with her favorite candy or ice cream which she would go every occasionally and get excited. She told me poo-poo goes in the potty and she knew what she was supposed to do. But she would take her panties off and put on a pull-up when she needed to go. It was frustrating because she knew exactly what she was doing. I even got drastic and made her sit in it, once in her pull-ups and once when she did it in her panties but nothing seemed to work. At her 3-year checkup, her pediatrician said it might hurt when she goes, especially since she was only going every other day or every 3 days. He told us to put a little miralax in her juice which makes it softer and prevents constipation. Eventually she just decided to go on the potty. She was a month over 3-years-old but she did it on her own and now all the time. (she turned 3 in December) So other than the miralax, which you might ask the doctor about, nothing worked with my daughter except she had to decide she was going to...I think it's something they can actually control. I hope this is somewhat encouraging. Good luck!!

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T.H.

answers from Louisville on

The only advice I have for you is to be patient. My son just turned 4 on Feb 28th and I thought he was going to go to Kindergarten with a pull up on. However, he did have constipation problems but he has done it now 4 times in the last week. I think we are on the mends.... He potty trained himself 2 months from being 3. I was very happy but the poop thing took a little longer. Boys are definitely harder than girls I have heard. You are doing well with him training at 2... however don't be surprised if it is a little ways out yet.

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C.G.

answers from Nashville on

I have 5 children- 3 girls and 2 boys. My oldest trained at 2 all on her own. My twin girls trained around 2.5, mostly because they were competing with each other to get the most stickers or stamps. We used those to reward with since we don't really do candy at our house. My boys were a different story. My older one, who just turned 5, had no interest in the potty until he was just over 3. When he finally was ready, he did both in the potty during the day. He is just now dry at night as well. My younger one is nearly 3.5 and he still won't admit to needing to got potty. I take him in there every few hours, and he will pee on the potty, but he never does #2. We never do pull-ups except for at night. After 5 kids I can't sweat it- he will get it when he's ready. And summertime is always easier- you can leave them naked or in underwear outside and the accidents aren't such a big deal as they would be in the house. Boys take longer than girls usually, and are not as interested in keeping clean- they are too busy playing to stop for something as boring as going potty! Good luck- he'll get it in time.

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J.P.

answers from Nashville on

Honey mine is 4 and still poops in his pants, he will tell me I need to go sit on the potty and he has already done it. Everyone told me including his Gastro Dr. Don't push it, sit him on the potty several times a day or whenever he usually poops. Good luck. I am at my wits end. I am so tired of changing poop out of underwear. I have started potty time and he has pooped twice this week in the potty so we will see if it works. Pediatric Nurse J.

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S.L.

answers from Nashville on

hey L.
well first off i wanted to let you know you are not the only one who has to go through that i have a little boy who just turned 3 and i am still dealing with the fact that he is not all the way trained mainly the poop part lol but the only thing that i can tell you from one mom to another is just hold on and alot of TIME !!! i have 3 boys ages 12,10& the 3 year old i swear i dont rem. that it was this hard to train my others but it will work out just takes time and lots of it i just wanted you to know you are not alone i still have to put a diaper on mine when ever we go out but while at home i just let him run around with out one but i will say this one thing that i have def. learned and thats this dont push because that dont help any at all i know you want out of diapers i do to trust me hes my last baby and cant wait for the diaper days to be gone lol i really hope this helps if nothing else i hope it lets you know that there are others i also know that i have heard from other mommys that little boys take longer when it comes to the whole poop part they really just done want to take the time good luck and lots of time
S.

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C.S.

answers from Asheville on

This is SO normal and also a common question on this site. Why is everyone in such a rush?

PLEASE leave the kid alone. They'll do it when they are ready. Pushing traumatizes kids!

C. RN

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C.V.

answers from Knoxville on

I want to give you some advice. It has taken me about 4-5 months to get my daughter completely potty trained.She is just shy of being 3. We used pull ups and everything. Sorry to say that pull-ups really do not work because they feel like diapers. One thing that i have tried that works is to go to the bathroom with him and make sure you take one of his books that he likes to read. Either read it to him or let him read it to you. When he feels like he is relaxed enough then he will go potty completely. Once he does this you will feel a major accomplishment has come because it is so exciting for him and you as well. Just do not force him because they will rebel against you and you do not want that. If i can be of any more assistance let me know. You can email me at ____@____.com.

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K.B.

answers from Nashville on

I have an almost 3yr. old daughter who I struggled for some time w/ this issue when she was about 28months; I really didn't try pushing the issue before this age; the best advice I can give is to be patient!-now I know that is not an easy suggestion, but it's really the child's pace that you'll have to follow-sooner or later it will be impossible to get them off the toilet b/c they want to do #2 all by themselves and have nothing to do w/ you and the help you provide; it just happened one day, my daughter understood all the suggestions/pleads I gave her to sit on the toilet to try and do #2, and then decided that it was a good time to try it and, low and behold she really liked using the toilet; lots of praise, a fun reward and they will learn your advice actually means something to them! Good Luck!

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L.P.

answers from Jacksonville on

L.,
I feel your frustration, believe me!! I had a son that did that until school age!! then he just quit on his own. I wish I had a definite answer for you. Maybe just do away with the pull ups altogether. If he wears big boy underwear he won't mess them. I tried everything but will stop when he is ready. They biggest thing is to not punish him for it!! It will make it worse. Let me know how it goes. L. P.

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D.A.

answers from Charlotte on

Make sure your son isn't constipated. Fear of "it hurting" would be a hindrance. D. in NC

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