2 Year Old Waking up During Night- Big Girl Bed & Pacifier Taken Away

Updated on March 01, 2008
A.Q. asks from Batavia, IL
9 answers

HELP. My 2 year old Daughter was put into a big girl bed (she was climbing out or I wouldn't have) and we also took her pacifier at the same time. This was 4 weeks ago, she was fine in the beginning. Now when we put her down for naps she will stay up crying sometimes or just calling me for 1 1/2 hours before she falls asleep. Also during the night she wakes up just calling mommy or daddy. We give her some milk deluted with Water to drink and then she goes back to bed. I think this is a comfort issues, but not sure how to handle this. We are sleep deprived and loosing patience. She doesn't do this at daycare when she goes to naps, she is perfectly fine and falls asleep immediately. What are we doing wrong!!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I do agree that it was too much, but honestly and I hope you all agree that everyone knows their own children and what they can handle. We have tried several time to take the Nuk away and didn't work. We have tired cutting the Nuk down, but she says "its broken" which is so cute. We've tried giving them to her new cousin, didn' work. This was the only solution for us. I do agree that she is now realizing this is a permanent thing and that is probably the reason for her outbursts. To answer some questions, she doesn't ask for her nuk. She does have special dog she sleeps with, but I like the idea of going to the store and getting something ONLY for bedtime. She will get out of bed when she's trying to get to sleep, but doesn't leave her room; when she wakes up she asks for Mom or Dad and will not get out of bed. We will stick this out and I thank you all for your suggestions. We have already stopped the milk at night and we did realize it wasn't good for her teeth, so we started watering it down until it was just water.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

This is a huge transition for her and the changes such as taking away her pacifier and putting her into a big girl bed at the same time may seem like a punishment to her.
Maybe you could try weening her off the pacifier slowly instead of taking it away from her altogether?
She needs some comfort such as a favorite toy, blanket or even her pacifier until she becomes used to her new sleeping situation. She is much more aware of changes at two and needs time and help from you so be patient and don't worry about giving in to her pacifier for the time being.

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K.W.

answers from Champaign on

She is trying to train you. I would first of all take the drink away during the night as she doesn't need it and she is getting into a routine of thinking that she needs it. You may need to just go in and let her know that you are there and that everything is OK and then leave. Talk to the daycare and see if they have any suggestions. The more that she gets you to respond to her the more I am afraid that it will continue--from experience. Maybe try a favorite blanket or toy that she only gets to sleep with or a soft CD to listen to.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Neither of my two daughters were taking afternoon naps at two. They wouldn't go to sleep for an hour or more and they had trouble sleeping during the night. Try cutting out the nap or moving it to a later time for a shorter period (maybe just a half an hour). She probably doesn't need a nap if she's getting plenty of sleep at night.

Most children that age need 11 to 14 hours of sleep. Mine have been getting 11 to 12 since two and do great. No behavior problems during the day and most of the time they sleep all night.

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C.M.

answers from Decatur on

A., is it possible that maybe she is sleeping too much, i.e. is she sleeping maybe a bit too long during the day at daycare and not quite ready for bed at night at the usual time? Maybe it's just a stage..But the pacifier is just that, a pacifier. A sippy cup of water is okay in the bed. Maybe try to get her a lovey that she wants to take to bed with her. It may be worth your while to try to be there at daycare to watch their routine. It may be there is some subtle difference..

Good luck,

C

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M.K.

answers from Champaign on

These are two BIG changes made at the same time. It seems that the bed change was warranted, since she was climbing out anyway. Taking the pacifier away was a surprise for which she was not ready. I would return the pacifier - her apparent comforter of choice until she gets used to the bed and gradually exchange that with a more acceptable "comforter" as she grows.
Good luck.

M. K

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L.E.

answers from Chicago on

I am a huge advocate of simply doing what you want her to eventually continue to do. Meaning, don't give her warm milk when she wakes up if that's not the routine you want her in. Giving her milk at night is also not recommended for the health of her teeth...that milk will sit on her teeth and can start the decaying process and early cavities. Simply go to her, let her know you're there but it's time to go to sleep, tuck her back in and leave. Get her a comfort item that you DON'T mind her having... like a lullaby CD in her room to soothe her to sleep or a blanket she can ONLY have in her bed when she naps/goes to bed at night. And, just keep at that. We do that w/ our girls every time their sleep routine is inturrupted by illness or busy schedules or some other reason.

My second daughter, at 20 mos, was just put into a toddler bed. She LOVES routine and LOVES her things HER way, so I had a feeling it may be a tricky adjustment. But, my husband and I were very calm and lovey and encouraging w/out making it out to be a HUGE deal. The first night she didn't want to go in it at all and I stayed with her until she was calm, then left. She was fine and fell asleep on her own. The second night, same thing. The third day for her nap I just put her down and didn't even stay with her. She already knew the drill and knew I wasn't going to coddle her. THIS was her new bed and she had already seen she can sleep well in it so she stayed. Now we have absolutely no trouble at all...she crawls right in.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I would say the comfort of the crib and the pacifier at the same time may be too much for her. Every kid is different and they need things for different reasons. My oldest is 2 1/2 and he still take his "plug" to sleep, and our 9 month old wants nothing to do with it. Our pediatrician is fine with this. maybe get her used to the Big Girl bed for a few months and then remove the paci. Really whats a few more months with the paci? Just some thoughts...I have read that too much at once is just that, too much. Let me know what you end up with, i could use some tips on removing the plug myself!

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T.P.

answers from Chicago on

I do not believe you are doing anything wrong. She sleeps better at day care probably because nothing has changed there. However her home life has changed just a bit and although she did well at first. It may be something as simple as her now realizing it is a perminate thing. I had a similar situation happen when I put my middle child in a big boy bed in his own room. My solution was a glow worm. It was his special sleeping toy. He was only allowed to have it at bedtime at night, so that it was made into a special comfort thing for him. I also started reading a bedtime story to him so we had a special mommy/baby boy time before bed. It gave him a routine and it didnt take too long for things to fall into place from there. I hope this helps you a bit. Much love and light to you and yours.

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E.F.

answers from Chicago on

A.,
I do think that doing the big girl bed and pacifier at the same time was a lot for her to handle at once. At this time she is realizing that neither the crib nor the pacifier is coming back. Is she staying in bed now? Is she asking for her pacifier? If she isn't asking for her pacifier, I would make a special date with her to go to the store to pick out something to keep her company at night. Build it up by saying that she is doing so great in her big girl bed and that since she is a big girl she gets to pick something special so that at night she won't have to call for Mommy or Daddy. Then I would bring her a sippy cup filled with only water to put on her bedside and tell her that when she wakes up she can just reach over and get her own drink because she's a big girl etc. etc. I wouldn't suggest giving back the pacifier because it's the same battle later down the road. Unless you give it back to her and she isn't able to suck on it but can hold it. I cut my children's pacifiers down the middle so they could hold it, rub it on their noses, but couldn't suck on it. You might as well just strap yourself and be prepared to ride this one out. Your the parent you know what she needs. Try to stay patient, take turns with your husband if possible, and just keep reassuring her. She will figure out how to fall asleep and stay asleep without the pacifier soon.

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