2 Year Old Still Needs Momma to Fall Asleep.......

Updated on April 09, 2008
S.K. asks from Stillwater, OK
13 answers

I have finally gotten my almost 2 yr old out of my bed and into his. However he will only sleep in itif I sit beside the bed, while he plays with my hair until he falls asleep. Then I can get up and leave the room. Some night's this takes only a few minutes other nights it takes an hour to an hour and a half. I do not know how to make him get to fall asleep on his own. I worry that with him in a toddler bed he will get out of bed and get into things if I just close the door and per say let him cry it out. Any advice will be greatly appericiated.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

"Good Night, Sleep Tight" is an awesome book with wonderful suggestions for getting babies of all ages to sleep alone and well. And she's not a cry it out person or a let them do whatever they want. She's a very balanced author which is great. I got it at the library. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

first start doing as you are, but do not let him touch your hair, after a few nights be sure you start sitting farther away from him. Next stand near his door, with the door open. you get the idea...
each step should last 3 nights, and do not revert, as this will show him what he needs to do to get his way.
This can be made more pleasant by telling him what your expect and sticking to it. I know he is only two, but say something like, "mom stay by you, but no touching my hair." Then, "mom will stay in your room, but over here, not that close."
If he tries getting out of bed, firmly tell him no. If he doesn't listen, give him a swat on his leg. Stick to it. There are many what ifs that could go on with a two yr. old. If you decide to try this, and if you need anymore ideas to meet any what ifs that pop up, you can email me. Take Care,~K.

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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

I am only 23 but i do have a five and three year old and my three year old has to have me fall asleep with her she does not sleep well. Whatever you tell him to do when it is time for bed you need to be firm it may hurt but he will get use to it. It took my daughter all of two weeks to get over this "mommy lets go to sleep" thing. when i put her to bed and i say stay in bed and check on her to make sure she falls asleep she eventually got use to it and now falls asleep on her own......Good Luck

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C.E.

answers from Dallas on

my middle child did this...
we started off by her bed and then every other night I would back the chair up a little...then I moved to the I'll be back to check on you". She is now four and a great sleeper :)

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

Boy can I relate! Have you tried the "I'm going to go do ________ and be right back to check on you" trick yet? I used to do this: the usual bedtime routine and would lay with my son for about 10 minutes. If he was still awake, I would say "Ok, mommy has to go do the dishes now and I will come right back to check on you when I am done." Your son is old enough now to understand this. Leave and pretend to go do the dishes (or actually do them!) and then go back and check. Do this routine every 10-15 minutes if he can take it. You may need to start at leaving the room for 5 minutes at a time. Whatever makes you comfortable. This will take some time and a little fussing on his part, but eventually he will get used to being alone in small spurts and fall asleep when you go out of the room to do something. It worked for us! Oh, and when you move him to a toddler bed, just make sure the room is 100% safe and use a babygate at the door. At this age I would often go in my sons's room in the morning to find him asleep with his blanket by the babygate on the floor, but he evetually stopped doing that. It is normal and an adjustment. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

There are several different methods you can take and it just depends on your child.

The most drastic is putting him in bed and leaving him. If he gets out of bed you just walk him back to bed. This would require you to take everything out of the room that way he has nothing to play with. I have heard of some even putting a gate up so they cannot get out.

Next option, you put him in bed and tell him you will be back in 5 minutes to check on him. You come back in 5 minutes and tell him you will be back in 7 minutes to check on him. You come back in 7 minutes and tell him you will be back in 10 to check on him. You always come back and check on him, but the plan is for him to get bored enough to fall asleep on his own.

The third option is to sit in the room with him, but where he can't touch you. You asure him that you will sit in that chair across the room for his bed and watch him go to sleep.

I started out with the third option and ended up moving to the second option because then I was still able to get things done in between checking on my son. Hope this helps.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

This is a process that will take time. If he's had you this long, you just have to be patient, but consistant. You've done a great job by getting him out of your bed. The next step is on it's way! You've already realzied that by sitting next to him that works. So, start there and slowing transition to your ideal situation (book, prayers, kiss, and you leave for example). First, try moving from sitting on his bed to sitting next to his bed. Tell him you'll stay in his room as long as he stays in bed. If he gets out of bed, put in back in and leave the room. Next, a video monitor, works great! You can actually keep an eye on him. As soon as he gets out of bed, call from outside the room and say "get back in bed, please" He will probably be a little freaked out b/c you know he's out of bed and he didn't see you, but that's great! If he keeps getting out of bed, then you have to discipline him as if he kept doing something you asked him not do that wasn't involved in bedtime. While you are sitting in the room, you can transitiont his way...I'm going to sit until you fall asleep...then after a few nights you can bring a timer and say "I'm going to stay for 20 minutes", then shorten the time each night, and, before long, you'll be able to leave after the last kiss! Once you get it worked out, the key is to be consistant!

Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

omg... there is nothing "abnormal" about this! I have 4 kids and they were(are...) all like that! It's not going to get worse! I also believe in allowing your kids to sleep with you, too. You're not doing any damage to them. When we were ready and they were too... we started slowly... instead of laying on the bed, we'd sit on the floor. Then we would sit away from the bed. Then outside the room. I promise he won't need you to go to college with him to fall asleep! haha

I still lay down with my almost 3 year old. She sleeps in my bed. And she's a very secure, happy, cuddly little girl. My 3 older children are also very secure with themselves, happy, and NORMAL children.... who don't need me to lay down with them. But I enjoyed EVERY moment of laying down with them when they were little. I say... Enjoy it while they still "want you to hold them"!!! lol We never did the cry it out thing.... just a gradual change.

Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hey S., I am a mom of three and my older boys, now 6 and 4 are good sleepers, but have not always been. They both started out in our bed and at one point we had 4 in our bed. They now sleep in their room and happily all night. I know some may disagree with this, but, I laid down with my boys until they were asleep. It made for great bonding/talking time for us. They do not "need" me to do that anymore, so I am very glad that I had that time. Time will go by so fast that this if you decide to take this advicem, you will not be sorry. It seems like yesterday my 6yr old was coming home from the hospital. SO< cherish the time girl, you will not get these times back.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

What worked with our 2 yr old is music, his blanket, and a spanking spoon if he got out of the bed.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe it is a comfort thing that puts him to sleep (rubbing your hair). Try getting a really soft stuffed animal to put in bed with him and see if maybe he will rub on the stuffed animal to put himself to sleep.

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

You've got to put a stop to this and NOW! It will only get worse! Give him a blankie with some "hair" on the outsides of it. My daughter is 7 and still sleeps with her "bobby" and plays with the strings on the outside. Telling him that it's his big boy blankie will help him feel grown and big. Next, the rest is tough love. Tell him he's a big boy and that you'll sit in his room to watch him for a moment, but then you have to go do mommy things. He will probably resist at first, but just like anything else he's had to give up, he'll get over it and move on to something else. He WILL get out of bed. We battled my daughter for about 3 days, and just took her back to bed without saying anything everytime she did it. This way, she's not getting the attention that she wants, she just knows it's time for bed. Hope this helps. Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with Summer's post. I also, cheezy as it may sound, like watching Supernanny handle these issues. So you might want to watch if you ever get the chance. Now that my first son is older I have been able to follow some of her techniques (Time Out and Bed Time) and it's worked well for us.

We co-slept until my son was around 12-14 mos old. Then we moved him into his crib and a few weeks later he was in his own room. Hubby and I would take turns staying in the room until he was asleep and he eventually didn't need that anymore. My son was given a BIG monkey, about the same size as him, when my second baby was born. He loves that it can hug him and cuddle with him. That's who he sleeps with now and if I ever have issues with him not wanting to go to sleep, I tell him that Monkey is tired and that if he won't go to sleep I'm going to take Monkey with me. To get him to bond with his Monkey I simply started treating the stuffed animal like he was a real member of the family: asking him if he was hungry, taking him to the store with us, having him sit and play with us. My son loved it and quickly took ownership over the animal ;-) He is 2 1/2, by the way and we're about to move him into a toddler bed. He will, w/o a doubt, get up and want to play or come to sleep w/ us. I'm sure of it. So I'm preparing myself and working on what my response will be when that happens. ;-)

Good luck!
M.

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