2 Year Old Son Refuses to Drink Milk or Water

Updated on April 08, 2008
C.S. asks from Fremont, CA
36 answers

Hello everyone! It's been 2 months since my son has been refusing to drink any milk at all or even eat it with his cheerios. I don't want to push it because he might associate milk drinking with an unpleasant experience. I tried putting a little bit of chocolate in it but he would only drink a little. I tried other sources of calcium like yogurt and cheese. Will that suffice as milk substitute? Also, my son doesn't like drinking water. I would give him juice diluted in water. I tried all sorts of tricks to make him drink water and milk but none has worked. Your suggestions will be greatly appreciated!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the pieces of advice! It's comforting to know that other mothers share the same experience as me. My son now drinks water! I just give him water in the morning and don't give him juice til he finishes that cup. I still give him diluted juice though (he still doesn't know the taste of pure juice). We are still working on the milk drinking. I get him to drink a few sips sometimes and he still continues to take his cheerios and oatmeal in milk. I tried soymilk too and he liked it for a while. He also decided that he didn't like yogurt and cheese now! For calcium, I boil broccoli and freeze the broth in an ice tray. I use this to cool his juices or mix it with soup. I am trying to take your advice one at a time and see which best works for him. Many thanks to you all again!

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A.C.

answers from San Francisco on

As far as milk goes, something that worked for my 2 year old is letting him pic out a food coloring to dye his milk. He thinks its so great to be able to pick out green or pink or blue. Have you tried any soy milks? Maybe the vanilla one? Good luck, it may be a phase.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

This sounds pretty serious. Try jell-o sugar free so he can have as much as he wants. Maybe making ice in fun shapes for him to suck on, even with a stick or a spoon frozen into it. My grandson was having trouble drinking water also until I gave him warm water. His front teeth were very sensitive so he wouldn't drink anything cold or eat ice cream. Good luck I hope you find an answer to this situation.
C. Brown
Busy Bees Child Care
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A.T.

answers from Redding on

hi C., my daughter is 16 months old and she just started drinking a little bit of cow's milk, but before that she was drinking almond milk and loved it. we never tempted her with juice (except orange juice and carrot juice), but she does love water with lemon juice in it or fresh cut lemon pieces floating around in it..might give that a shot. good luck!

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M.F.

answers from Redding on

My daughter has not drank milk all of her life she did not like it she said it tasted sour to her. There are lots of other ways to get calcium and instead of cereal there are other things for breakfast,toast,oatmeal,cream of wheat and of coarse there are always pop tarts.

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K.O.

answers from Redding on

My daughter won't drink milk either. She won't drink cow milk, goat milk, soy, rice or almond milk, but she loves yogurt, cheese of all kinds, and she eats lots of dark leafy green vegies, which are actually a better source of calcium then milk. So if your son is eating these other sources of calcium, he should be fine.

As far as the water, that's a tough one. Maybe try putting the essence of fruit in the water, that way it will have a pleasant flavor without the sugar.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Your son could have a intolerance to the dairy and may be listening to his body. My family does not drink milk and we get along just fine. There are many foods that are loaded with calcium. To name a few, broccoli, kale, and seaweed. There are also several milk alternatives that are fortified with calcium like rice dream.

I believe it is unnatural to drink the milk of another animal. Did you know we are the only species that continues to drink milk after infancy and the only species that drinks the milk of another animal?

My main point is that as long as you are careful your child will be totally fine obtaining calcium from other sources. I would not start adding chocolate and other sweet things to the milk. Kids do not need more sugar in their beverages or diets. If you force a sweet tooth on your baby you will regret it.
New studies show that soy milk is not good for children. It has natural hormones in it that are causing children to develop at an early age. The same goes for all soy. A little is fine, use in moderation.

As for the water you should make it the only option. All doctors and dentists now recommend not giving children ANY juice. It is horrible for their teeth and has little nutritional value. I would bet your son refuses the water because he knows you will give in and give him the juice. I know it sounds easier then it is to implement, but you are the boss. A day or two without juice and it will be a distant memory.

Good luck, J

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S.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Hey there-both of my boys never drank milk again after weaning from the bottle. Finally around 3 years old with my oldest (now 4) and around 2 1/2 with my youngest (now 3) they starting drinking a little chocolate milk. They get one glass in the morning and at night. Our doctor said as long as they get it somewhere else they are fine. So, my oldest is a yogurt fanatic. He'd eat nothing but yogurt if I let him. So he always has one a day. And my youngest loves cheese, yogurt occasionally, and decaf chai lattes with soy milk. Don't ask me how that started! So, good luck, I'm sure he'll find a way to get all he needs.

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K.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi C.,
When my oldest was that age she was the same way. Juice was all she wanted. She started liking milk again around age 3 but only about a glass a day and on cereal. I don't think it is bad not to drink milk, we are the only culture on earth who actually drinks cows milk for the entire lifespan (and look at us). If you are worried about the calcium, try those gummy vites that are just a calcium supplement. Yogurt and cheese are excellent as are brocolli and anything dark green. As far as the juice, just start to really dilute more and more. Good luck!

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A.W.

answers from Sacramento on

You can try vanilla soy milk which is tastier than regular milk and other soy products. We are dairy free and use a lot of soy cheese, yogurt, milk products that are calcium rich. My daughter hardly ever drinks plain water but I cut her organic juice in half with water. If your son is drinking other forms of liquid I wouldn't worry about it. He may be allergic to dairy and just won't drink milk for a good reason. Popsicles are always a good idea for liquid intake. We use pedialite.

Good luck, and if you are really concerned call your pediatrician's advice nurse.

A. E. Wells

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C.,

Try getting a regular water bottle and buying one of those kids sport lids. They fit onto a regular water bottle, but have a sport sipper top. You can get them at Albersons in the baby isle, right next to the cups. Put in water and show your son how you love the water and drink out of it- then he will want to try too. Good luck--I know its hard!

Molly

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S.F.

answers from Sacramento on

my children love vanilla soy and rice milk. i usually buy the vanilla soy 3 pack at costco. if you are worried about calcium intake, there are a lot of different sources higher than milk. my kids (5,2 and 1) eat steamed broccoli by the bagful. i buy the huge bag from costco(of course) and steam it at least 4 nights a week and they ALL gobble it up even without butter. in terms of milk, try the vanilla soy. good luck!

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L.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C.,
Have you tried the flavored waters like Aquafina Berry and such? My son loves those, and we refer to them as 'juice' at home. (our little way of tricking him into drinking water!)
:-)
~L.

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A.R.

answers from San Francisco on

C.,
My youngest has never drank cows milk, (she was brestfead until just after her first birthday) it's been almost 6 years and she still won't drink it, or milkshakes or milk based ice creams and she also eats all of her cereal dry (yuck). I do buy the calcuim fortified vitamins for her, and she eats other milk products such as cheese, yogurt etc. Her Dr is aware of the fact and says that it isn't a problem because she gets enough vitamins and calcuim with the other foods. I did try the strawberry milk, she wouldn't drink it, she can't have chocolate since she is allergic. She will drink milk in a Starbuck coffee so it isn't that she is lactose intolerent(spelling?), she just doesn't like it. The biggest problem we have had is the lunch program at her school trying to force her to drink it. Shouldn't be a problem for your son even if he doens't out grown it.
Amanda

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N.H.

answers from Modesto on

Don't worry about the milk. My brother is a chiropractor who was taught that there is absolutely no reason for a weaned mammal to drink the milk of another mammal. The American Dairy Association has the everyday consumer like you and I believing the commercial hype (got milk?) and if we don't drink milk then our skin, hair, moods, and nails will be ugly and horrible. Not so, the author Paul Zane Pilzer states in his book "The Wellness Revolution" that cow's milk chemical makeup actually leaches calcium from our bones in order to digest and therefore making our bones weaker! Substitute dark green leafy veggies---especially broccili, seaweed and kale to get the needed calcium in his diet.
~n

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M.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi -
I think your son will be just fine - cheese, yogurt, etc are excellent sources of calcium, and actually milk is not as beneficial as many will have you believe. Cheeses and yogurts, kefir and raw milk cheeses (in health food stores) are infinitely better - lots written on it if you're interested. I do the dilute-with-water juice, about 75% water and 25% pomegranate juice, or even organic apple juice and that works great. A little juice is not bad, and if it gets him drink the rest of the water, its worth it, provided he does't have lots of other sugar in his diet, which I assume he doesn't. My son just turned 5, and we had the same problem. sometimes I even told him once he drinks his water he can have some juice - and then it was still diluted - I'm not sure if he knos what full-strength juice tastes like ;-)
Good luck, and hope it helps.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I don't think it's really necessary for kids to drink milk. There are lots of other ways to get enough calcium. But if you really want him to have milk, my kids like the taste of raw milk a lot better than the regular kind. You might want to read up on it and see if you'd be comfortable having him try it. I'm a big fan of it, personally.

With regard to the water, I use a couple drops of Stevia (which you can get at Whole Foods). It's a plant derivative and is very sweet, yet your body does not process it like sugar. My kids LOVE water with Stevia in it (it comes in different flavors).

Good luck, aren't 2 year olds fun sometimes? =)

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M.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Believe it or not, your child doesn't actually need any form of cow's milk--ever. He needs calcium, yes, but once he is no longer breastfeeding or getting formula, he has no innate need for milk of any kind. You can get calcium into him through supplements or leafy greens. Of course, I've met very few small children slamming their silverware on the table asking for a big plate of spinach. For that reason--yogurt, cheese, and cottage cheese are perfect for getting calcium into him. As for the water, you could try making him a weak decaffinated tea (my daughter likes mint tea!) with sugar, then slowly, over time reducing the amount of sugar you put into it. Just make sure that if he's drinking a lot of juice or the tea I suggested--that you're brushing his teeth well at least before bed.

Also--you could get him one of the 'rich' drinks at Jamba Juice--they have an amazing amount of calcium in them because of the yogurt. Not to mention the protien!

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

How about milk shakes,smoothies with dry milk or protein powder in them, or malted milk in a shake or smoothie? My brother would only eat ice cream, my mom took him to the doctor way back when, and the pediatrician said let him eat all the ice cream he wants. He turned out fine. I'm not sure a pediatrician would still agree, but no harm was done. Also, try flavored water, just add sliced lemons, limes or orange, even a slice of apple, if it sits a while will make the water taste better.

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C.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi C.,

I feel for you. That age in particular is always challenging with there finiky behavior. Try the Soy vanilla milk. He might just like it. It's healthy and good for him. But ask your doctor first. I would continue to try water with him. Let him drink it straight from the bottle. Have him open it and see if that works. Sometimes they need to feel that they have accomplished something. It worked for my kids.. That might be fun for him. Even if it gets everywhere.

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N.P.

answers from Modesto on

Hi C.!

Yea, this is a tough one. One of my boys did this when he was younger. He's now 5 and JUST starting to drink milk again.

I had to make ALOT of chocolate milkshakes to get any diary in his body when he was 2. It was worth it to me because he didn't eat any cheese or eggs either.

You know, I have never tried Pediasure, but I'm thinking about it. I'm going to try to blend Pediasure with a little ice cream for a morning milkshake so he will get more vitamins. Anyway, I thought maybe you would want to try that, as well.

As far as the water goes, when my kids were little like that, I bought a small water bottle dispenser. And put it in the fridge. They LOVED "dispensing" and drinking the water from the dispenser so it was fun to drink water, and thankfully they got more of it in their bodies :o)

I still have it in our garage fridge, and they still use it with little disposable cups with their friends when they come over.

Who would've thought all I needed was a dispenser that they could operate to get them to drink more water???

Anyway, there's a little clean up involved when they're 2, but you might want to try it for your son. I bought mine at Walmart for about $4.00

Good Luck C.!

:o) N.

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D.H.

answers from Modesto on

I really like everyones advice about food intolerances. My daughter would not try certain foods and it would drive us crazy, then we found out she has Celiac and cannot eat anything with gluten in it. (which was everything a normal kid would eat)Poof! Simple answer to her food avoidance!

Kids are pretty darn smart when it comes to that stuff.

Try the pedisure drinks, they have some that are lactose free, packed with vitamins.
good luck

~D.

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D.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I had a son who refused to drink milk at about 18 moths. He would only drink cranberry juice at that time. I made sure that he had lots of cheese and yogurt. Also if you can get your son to drink orange juice they are putting calcium in orange juice as well. Also, check on the boxes of cerial that he eats and see how much calcium is in the cerials that he is eating. It seems there are a lot of companies who are adding calcium in their products. Frozen yogurt, or ice cream might work as well. I know my son wouldn't eat ice cream and really liked whipped cream. I know that these things contain a lot of fat, however young kids do need fat in their diets for their brains to develop properly. My son is now 15 and very much an athlete. I have started giving him a calcium supplement with a Vitamin D suppliment as he started complaining about shin splints as he does basketball and track. He also has a strength and conditioning class as well, so he is working his body to its potential. He now wants to build muscle and that requries a lot of protien. I would check with your doctor if you can't get him to eat these things and see if you can have him eat Tums once a day as they are made mostly of calcium. Also talk to him about the childrens vitamins. I think that sometimes when the young kids stop eating someting it is because their body is trying to tell you that they are alergic to something. I know my son tried to drink a lot of milk when someone told him that the bones and body needs it to grow strong and he is very competitive and listened to them. He started to get symptons of a cold. Sore throat, nazel congestion etc. His frineds dad is an Ear Nose and Throat doctor and I asked him about this. He told me that it sounded like he was alergic to the milk as he was drinking a lot of it. We cut back on the milk and walaa the "cold" went away. So your son might be alergic to it. Hope this advice helps, however ask your doctor as he knows your son better than we do.

D. T.

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S.F.

answers from San Francisco on

my boys didn't like water either, my mother a well and truly retired mother craft nurse and kindergarten teacher suggested I add some sugar to start with. I know that sounds awful but if the water is a little sweet they will take to it. You might want to try stevia or some other natural sugar supplement. remeber this is just to start the process eventually you less the sugar and eventually end up with no sugar. I also did the 3/4 apple juice 1/4 water as they grew older it became that there was very little apple juice and more water - I used both these tricks. Now they love there water in fact they drink it before I do!

One other thing my mother put me on to was jello - it's full of water, and is very good for their bone growth. Investigate Jello too.

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R.C.

answers from Stockton on

Hi C.!
My son was not able to drink milk for a while at the age of one due to an intolerance for dairy. I gave him orange juice instead that was fortified with Vitamin D and calcium(this was pediatrician's recommendation). Minute Maid sells one that say "as much calcium as milk" and is the only brand I used. My personal view would be the same as yours, I would not push milk on him. My sister did not and still doesn't like milk. =p

As far as the water goes, my rule with all my toddlers was to serve them what I thought they needed. I like them to drink water! I would set a cup on the table and tell them "if you are thirsty, there is water right here for you to drink when you are ready", then I would walk away. They didn't like it at first, but they soon realized they wouldn't get anything else. Now my 7 & 5 year old boys often prefer water over anything else.

I hope this helps!

Take Care,
Taunia

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W.W.

answers from Sacramento on

Milk is great, but overrated. Give him other sources of calcium. Many dark vegetables have loads of calcium - spinach is one of the good ones for example. Yogurt, cheese, sour cream, kafir, smoothies, ice cream, etc. As for the water, that is a vital element. He needs that to survive. By allowing him to not drink water you could damage his kidneys, get gall stones, kidney stones, a urinary track infection, etc. All very painful. Take away all drinks except water. When he's had at least his daily requirement of water, then offer other things. Kids shouldn't have more than 3 ounces of juice per day... that should give you an idea about how much to dilute. He won't thirst to death, just let him know he only gets water. Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Denver on

My daughter went through an anti-milk phase at about the same age and it lasted quite awhile. I tried chocolate milk with some success. One thing that worked was that she loved (and still does) orange juice, so our Dr. recommended calcium enriched and said tht a glass of that was equal to a glass of milk. She eventually started drinking milk again and now loves it.

As for the water, I buy my kids the 8 oz water bottle with the pop tops and they think they are so much fun that they hardly notice the water.

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M.J.

answers from Bakersfield on

My little girl did the same thing! I was so worried because she just wouldn't do it so this is what I did for her. I just made sure she had dairy in some way like cheese, mac n cheese, chocolate milk, healthy milk shakes, carrots, fruit and other things that have it. It's fun now that they have flavor waters too. I have a hard time getting my husband to drink water too. He likes the little flavors that you can add. Always have something ready and with the juice, water it down. That also worked for my daughter. Have fun and enjoy him.

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T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

When I weaned my daughter at 15 months, she refused to drink milk also. Our pediatrician said as long as she was getting enough dairy from other sources, it was fine. She eats plenty of yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, etc, so we didn't worry. She has come around and now loves her milk (She's almost two). If you look up how much milk/dairy they actually need at that age, it isn't as much as you probably think it is, so no need to stress. If you haven't tried it yet, strawberry milk is super sweet, so most kids love it too. It doesn't take much to give it a very sweet flavor, so if you are desperate, you can try that. I know I was very stressed about the situation, but the doctor totally put me at ease when I told her what she did eat. Other ways to sneak in dairy are in scrambled eggs, hot chocolate made with milk, soups, batters-pancakes and waffles etc. Be creative, a lot of things that call for water can be substituted with milk. Oh yeah, pudding too. My kids love pudding for a special treat.
As for the not drinking water, not sure how to help you on that one. I almost never give my kids juice, we don't even keep it in the house, so they have always drinken their water. Maybe if you try to dilute it more and more each time, slowly weaning him off it? Also you can try buying something like a water bottle with a straw that is in a character or shape he enjoys. Sometimes that is all it takes to get them to try something new. Just make sure that only water goes in it, never juice. Right now it sounds like a power struggle too, as what he puts in his mouth is something he can control, so I would recommend letting him "win" often throughout the day. Two year olds are used to losing all day long, so if you let them win a few of the unimportant things, they will be much more likely to cooperate. Good luck.

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C.N.

answers from San Francisco on

My 2 year old son has always refused milk. I've tried adding ovaltine and he still won't drink it. He asks for milk often. I give it to him and he just spits it out. Maybe one day he'll drink it but I'm not holding my breath. I give him yogurt, powdered milk and cheese for calcium. I sneak the powdered milk in different recipes, like pancakes, waffles, muffins ect. Thick smoothies are always a hit. I use banana, frozen mango and yogurt with some powdered organic milk and serve it in an ice cream cone with wheat germ on top. I also sneak in some carrot. He is happy because he thinks it's an ice cream cone and I'm happy because it's all healthy ingredients. Hope that helps.

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D.W.

answers from Sacramento on

hi my daughter went through that too. what worked for us was...taking down the sippy cup isle and letting her pick out cups, i would have her help me make the bottles, put the lid on etc...and i would also put the milk in big people cups with straws, she felt like us. i would drink out of the same thing she did. it started to work in like a week. good luck

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C. -

Many people believe we are not biologically wired to drink milk after babyhood and the genes to produces the enzymes to digest it well are turned to 'low' or 'off' at this time. He may be allergic or intolerant to milk and he might not feel good after drinking it.

You can try raw milk - it is a healthy, live, easier to digest food with all nutrients and enzymes available and not cooked out of it.

Another thing is that there are many many calcium sources that are better than milk - nuts and beans (dried and fresh) and some greens have more calcium per serving than milk does. Cooked (pasteurized) milk actually has a pretty poor calcium absorption in the body.

I would not worry if he is drinking milk or not. Make sure he has a healthy whole foods based diet, and try not to give him juice - when he is truly thirsty, he will drink water. He may not be happy about it, but he will drink water if nothing else is available.

If you can get him to try plain yogurt with fresh fruit in it, that would be great. Flavored yogurt has upwards of 45g of sugar in it - that is about the same as what is in an entire can of soda.

Good luck-!!

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

hello dear mommy,

cows are a fairly low vibration, not bad, just dense, compared to your child's high vibration. many children these days cannot tolerate meat or animal products. it is very common, and of course nothing to do with a mental or moral idea, just their bodies telling them what feels good and what does not. also, most cows are treated with hormones/chemicals that are harsh to the human system.

what works for many children and sensitive adults is rice milk or almond milk.

as far as the water, try fuji water (in most stores). it is very pure and high vibration.

good luck!

A. m

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi!
My kids like water in sippy cups with ice in it. I wouldn't worry too much about the milk part. I have a three year old who loves milk, but my 19 month old son get tummy trouble when he drinks milk, so we give him enriched soy milk. the calcium is the same as milk, and the sugar is actually lower. Good luck!
It is so hard when your kids don't like something that is good for them! my kids recently refused to eat greens, when they loved them before...
M.

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K.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Well I'm big on water instead of juice but you have to do what you can do. Just keep the juice watered down. You can continue to water it down more and more either until he refuses it or until it's down to water. If he ends up just drinking diluted juice, so be it. It's better than straight juice or soda. Just keep in mind that juice is a filler so he he may not eat as much at meals. Also, many foods are high in water, such as grapes and watermelon. As for the milk, my daughter has a milk allergy and I'm not a huge fan of dairy as it is. The reason calcium is so hyped up for our generation and why we and all the grandparents are having problems from lack of it is because of our calcium depleating activities such as soda and coffee and not doing weight lifting activities on a regular basis. I doubt your son is drinking either of those. I think yogurt and cheese are completely fine sources if he doesn't like to drink milk. My daughter had never had any dairy, although she did breastfeed until 3.5 and now takes a supplement. If you're still concerned, go to a health food store and purchase a liquid cal/mag supplement. My daughter gets 1 tsp per day. There are also other foods, such as broccoli that are rich in calcium. But if he's getting yogurt and cheese daily, then I wouldn't worry.

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W.M.

answers from Sacramento on

C.,
they also make some foritified juices now also, they cost a little bit more, but look for them next time you go to the store. Also, his drinking fluids might pick up when the weather gets hotter. I know ours do. When my kids were that little, they liked strawberry milk better than chocolate milk. Anyway, good luck, hope this helps.
W.

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K.P.

answers from Sacramento on

There could be a couple of things going on. One, he could instinctively know that milk is not good for him (lactose intolerance) or he could just be going through a phase. My kids are grown now, but when I finished nursing them I switched them over to goats milk. It is the closest thing to mothers milk and they loved it. You could also try soy milk - vanilla soy milk is delicious on cereal. Over all I wouldn't stress about, it's not necessary for the health of the child.

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