My son just turned 2. He was not sleeping in his crib anymore so we bought him a toddler bed that he loved for a few nights. Now (a week later), I lay in his room at night to help him fall asleep, then when he is asleep, I leave his room. He will then wake up anywhere from 1-3 hours later crying. My husband and I give him some time to cry, then we end up going in there with him to help him fall back asleep in his bed. He refuses to lay down and wants to go downstairs or into our room (we won't bring him downstairs, but do end up bringing him into our room to sleep) and he will fall asleep in our bed. After a couple nights of that, I thought maybe he was scared so we bought him a night-light, but no change in his behavior. Has anyone experienced this? I would love any thoughts or advice to make our nights more pleasant and to keep him in his own bed.
I had the same problem with my daughter. It was a nightmare! I ended up foolishly allowing her to sleep in my bed which lasted for about 4 years! I really dread the next transition from crib to bed with my youngest. I'm thinking of letting her sleep in the crib until she's about 7 :)
Good luck and please let us know how you resolve this issue. I need all the wisdom possible!
Why was he not sleeping in his crib? Was he crawling out, got too big? He's going to have to cry it out by himself unless you can envision him sleeping with you for the next 2 or 3 years. My 28 month old grandson climbs out of his crib so M. and dad got him a top to prevent that from happening. Of course he hated it at first and cried and cried but now he just goes down. I sit for him every day and put him in his crib at my house without the top. So I wait outside the door until he climbs out and then put him back in. Sometimes I have to do this for 1/2 hour, so I keep busy with a Sudoku puzzle and enjoy the time to rest. A little ritual with going to bed helps, and i tell him that after his nap he can play, and when he understands that he often goes to sleep. You don't indicate if your son has a problem with going down for naps (did he wean himself of those already?) So you could try this with him in his bed, "Mommy is not going to stay with you until you fall asleep tonight. You need to fall asleep by yourself. When you wake up in the morning I will be here and we will have fun together." something like that. Of course he will get out of bed but you are waiting right outside the door so you put him back in and tell him not to come out of his room. "I will be with you in the morning, but not until then. Close your eyes and go to sleep." Hope this works. When he wakes up 2-3 hrs later remind him, "I can't be with you now, you have to sleep in your own bed. See you in the morning." Maybe you will loose some sleep for a couple nights, but over the next few years you will more than gain it back when he learns he can sleep without your comforting presence.
It's a pretty common situation. It can come up at any age really. The biggest thing I can say is STOP IT NOW. My older two never did this (with one breif exception) because i was pretty strict on the whole sleep in bassinet, crib, toddler bed, and on.(they didn't know the difference)
I would nap with them sometimes, but they slept in their bed 100%. With my youngest daugher, I got lazy and often allowed her to sleep with us out of pure tiredness (she was a BAD napper during the day, so we were all usually pretty exhausted!) This was a nightmare that took till she was about 5 to stop. She is 7 now, and I still have her wandering into my bed in the middle of the night asking to sleep with me. I feel bad to turn her away because she tells me she had a bad dream, so I wind up sleeping with her for half the night. (very uncomfortable because she is a WILD sleeper) She doesn't do it all the time...only every so often now.
I would suggest not laying down with your child until they fall asleep. Sometimes it's worse because they wake up expecting you there for comfort. Your child has to get to the point that he soothes himself...not using your presence for soothing. I would have a routine every night that doesn't include you hanging around. But would include reassurance and tell him that mommy and daddy have their own bed, and he has his own bed. At this age, I would actually let him cry it out a bit. It really works. I used this method for a bit with my older child who for a short period of time, kept crying at night for attention. I would go in after 5 minutes, lay her down, give her a kiss and leave. Then if they cried again I waited 10 minutes and did the same thing. Then 15, 20 etc. As long as it took- before they realized that they were on there own and there was no reason to cry. You reassure them, but each time letting the time lapse become longer. It is painful to hear them cry and tiring for mom because this could go on for days...but it really works eventually. This was my only snafoo in my one older daughter's sleep habits. She soothed herself, and is 12 now....with no emotional scarring from letting her cry it out - I swear!! :)
I personally think that a child has healthier sleep habits when you nip it in the bud and get them back on track.
I personally slept with my mom till I was like in 4-5th grade. I look back on it, and realize how attached I was to the thought of having a body next to me. I think that was excessivly old, and it actually grosses me out at this point looking back.
Yep, Us too. We talked up the big girl bed with our 21/2 yr old (at the time) and she went to bed like a champ for the first week or so (even door closed in a new room). Then the "cuddle with me for a little bit" started. The little bit turned out to be almost all night. Finally we had to just say no and deal with the drama. Slowly we've worked out compromises. I now wait in my bedroom with my lamp on and her door open (she is right accross the hall) till she falls asleep. It took months of going in, saying no to sleeping with her and one more book, but singing yet another "Rock-a-bye baby" etc.. but it has gotten much better. I do let her sleep with me/us if it is early morning...out of pure exhaustion. I guess I would suggest staying firm in whatever you are willing to do, knowing it may become a habbit. Good luck. Seems like this is pretty normal! :}
I think the most important thing to remember is that almost everyone has trouble putting their little ones to bed so don't feel like it is just you. One thing that helps with our 3 yr old daughter (besides the night light & many stuffed animals) is that we taped a few special pictures of Mommy & Daddy right above her toddler bed on the wall. When she cries that she's lonely or misses us, we point to our pictures & tell her that we are watching over her. We tried putting them in a little plastic photo album but she kept losing it aroudn the house. She likes that she can look up and see us right away. It's such a little thing but really seems to help! Good luck.
Maybe he's not ready for the toddler bed. Maybe try telling him that if he's not going to stay in his own bed, that he's going to have to go back into his crib.
Or try giving him something of yours to sleep with, like a small blanket or pajamas that have your smell - that worked for our daughter at one point. Or see if he wants a couple stuffed animals to sleep with. Our daughter also went through a short faze when she wanted to sleep on the floor, so we got her a sleeping bag and then surrounded her with her stuffed animals (she said that they helped keep her safe in the night - whatever was going to help her sleep I was willing to do, BESIDES letting her sleep with us - that is never a good habit to start!) We have also used a CD of lullabies before - it would give her something to 'concentrate' on while falling asleep. If nothing else worked, we would just let her cry it out - sometimes she would cry for an hour. It was hard to listen to, but sometimes there is no other choice. They have to learn that they have their own bed and that is where they have to sleep. Good Luck!
Is the crib still in the room. I'd maybe put him back in there for a while... or completely child proof the room and put a gate in the doorway so his room is like one big crib with the toddler bed in it. We had this happen with our first when he was a year and a half (we needed the crib for his baby brother we were expecting). When he started to not sleep in his bed after about a week, we went back to the crib until the new baby was a couple months old and outgrowing the bassinet. We then took the mattress out of the crib, left it in his room for a bit so he wouldn't feel so much like we were taking it for the baby and so that it "wouldn't be comfortable without a mattress". We put the gate in the door and the transition at THAT time went smooth. My second son is now 2.5 and we are transitioning to the toddler bed. It's been a week and no lapse YET. He's obsessed with sports and has sport pillows and blanket on his toddler bed, so he calls it his basketball bed though it is the racecar shape. He chooses each night to sleep in the basketball bed and I think stays in there because he chose it. Stays there for 12 hours til I go get him or his brother gets him in the morning. For naps, I still have him in the crib because he still resists his naps though he needs them. That's what's helped for us to avoid us becoming a crutch for them to fall asleep by staying in there with them...best wishes to you!!
Your first mistake was putting him in your bed, just by talking with some of my girlfriends they have done the same thing and they still have their child in their bed and she is 5!!! I know it is hard but you need to let him cry so that he will learn to make himself content, he will. You could go in and reassusre him that he is fine and maybe he has a favorite stuffed toy you could give him when he is scared. You really need to get him out of your bed now or he will be sharing it with you for a long time. Place a child gate at his doorway so he can't get out and hurt himself. Good luck and be strong you will be glad you did!!!
R.
I would try putting him back in the crib. My third child just turned two as well and is nowhere near ready to graduate to a bed. We tried to move our older son to a bed at 20 months and he ended up getting hurt climbing on things in his room. My rule of thumb is when they start to climb out of the crib, it's time to move them to a bed. The longer you can keep them in the crib, the safer it is for them, and the more piece of mind you'll have. I'm not sure why he was not sleeping in the crib, but it sounds like he is no longer sleeping through the night in the bed either, so trying the crib again couldn't hurt at this point.
I have never had this problem but my sister did and she did not stop it and became a big problem. My brother in law ended up having to sleep with there son in his bed till is was in 5th grade.
When our son moved into is toddler be we let him take all this stuffed animals and put them anywhere he wanted on his bed. He made like a fortress of teddy bears, and other stuffed animals. His huge moose was the guard. It was pretty cute but it worked because my husband said we were not having the some problem as my sister did.
Just ask your son it there anything that would help him feel safe when mommy and daddy are not in the room.
I think he knows that if he cries enough you will give in & let him sleep in your bed. The habit has already been formed, in his mind. My 1st suggestion is don't let him sleep in your bed anymore, period. My 2nd suggestion is go to his room right when he starts crying (crying, not whining). Maybe he's getting so worked up crying that he's already upset by the time you come in & it's that much harder to settle him down. If you go in right when he starts crying & rub his back, maybe he'll lie back down & fall asleep quickly. I'm biased b/c we're against the cry-it-out method, but I think esp. when kids are older, like 2, they are so attuned to what's going on that letting them cry only makes the problem worse.
We also lie on my son's floor when he goes to bed. We used to leave once he was asleep like you do, but then he would sleep straight thru the night. A few days ago we started to only lie on the floor for 15min. tops (used to be 30-40min), then tell him it's bedtime, to show Mommy or Daddy how he closes his eyes & goes to sleep like a big boy, then leave. Amazingly enough, twice now he's fallen asleep after we left the room. We hope this continues, but aren't getting too excited yet. ;-)
