2 Year Old Holding Urine and BM

Updated on January 11, 2010
M.B. asks from Tulsa, OK
12 answers

My 26 month old little guy is holding his urine and stool ALL DAY!! I mean the only time that he will go is when he is sleeping. Oh, and he had an accident in the bathtub yesterday. Now, here is the back story. We tried potty training this past weekend, but for 2 days he only went in his pants (just underwear and sweat pants). He would sit on the potty for 20 minutes and then stand up and 5 minutes later, wet him self. The last straw was when asked him to sit on the potty with me and he refused and ran to play. Well, not even 2 minutes later, he wet himself. I decided that he probably isn't ready and we put him in diapers.

Ever since, for the past 4 days he has been holding it because he doesn't want to pee in his pants. But, he doesn't want to sit on the potty either. We are at an impasse and I am afraid that he is going to get constipated and/or a UTI.

Any tips mommies? Have we completely messed up our poor little guy? We have completely stopped potty training. I just want him to go to the bathroom!!! I am really worried.

What can I do next?

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answers from Norfolk on

He probably is not ready yet, in all honesty. But I will tell you the method that worked with my son was bribery. We didn't make a big deal out of the potty at first. We put it in the bathroom, and let him get used to seeing it. Then we'd ask him if he wanted to sit on it. He'd sit on it for a while. His daycare was also working on training him at the same time...so we had some assistance. When he started being interested in actually using the potty, I gave him 1 M&M if he sat on the potty and tried. Then if he peed he got 2 M&Ms. It took him a while to poop on the potty, and he would hold his poop until we got home from daycare, he'd ask for a Pull Up to poop. When he first pooped on the potty, he would get an Oreo when he pooped. After a while, going to the potty became so routine that he didn't even ask for his reward anymore & he was good.

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answers from St. Louis on

don't feel bad! Lots of parents push the potty-training issue & have to back off until the child is developmentally ready. It's ok to backtrack & learn from our choices. That's how we grow!

With my daycare kids, I always recommend waiting until the child regularly is dry for long periods between diaper changes.....& shows signs of awareness of the need to go by either grabbing the diaper as he's going or by verbally telling me. Until children have this awareness, it is really hard to achieve potty-training. Good Luck!!!

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answers from St. Louis on

Have you tried pull-ups? We did great with pull-ups at our house.



answers from St. Louis on

Are you putting him on the adult toilet or on a potty chair? Some kids are afraid of falling in to the big potty. I also read you can teach kids to sit backwards on the adult toilet to help them so they don't feel like they are going to fall in backwards.

He also might just be embarrassed - are you always watching him while he's sitting on the potty? He may just want some alone time. 26 months should be plenty old enough to potty train, especially since he has shown you he can hold it.

Wish you the best!


answers from Kansas City on

Did you talk to him about the potty and what was expected first? Did you let him sit on a little potty chair first and get used to it? Was he dry during nap time or when he woke up? I wonder if he's ready yet but if he is doing that he may be ready. Then there is the level of maturity. Will he tell you when he needs the diaper off or is wet, etc? There is a lot to consider. But if he is ready then stick to it no matter what and don't let him be in control of it. I would think you should continue what you're doing now by backing off a little bit and then in about 2 months I would try again after talking with him and setting up some kind of reward system that he would like. Some of my kids got stars or stickers on a chart, some got a small marshmallow or m&m type candy, some were allowed to pick out a special toy at the end ( inexpensive one ). Whatever works for them. I got a musical Fisher Price potty chair for our grandson when I potty trained him a few years ago and he loved that because when you go in it music plays. That made it more fun for him. I would not use pull ups ( just my experience ) as they use them as a crutch often. When you start do it until done and not off and on or stop and start. Make it fun and yet be firm about it happening. I know this is one of the hardest things I did as a mother, and grandmother, and the one you really have to stay on for the whole day or two until it's done and then still keep an eye out for regression.
Hope the constipation is not a problem for now and he'll be more ready in a few months. Then if he's ready don't give him a choice.
Hope it goes better next try.



answers from Kansas City on

Don't be to concerned, at 2 you can start traing little boys, but most of them are not ready until three or four, boys are a to busy and don't want to take the time even if they know, what they are suspose to do. I know it is hard on you and with a new baby on the way, you were hoping not to have so many diapers. My boy was trained at 2, but when his new sister came along he reverted back to weting, and having a bm in his pant.
Be patient and he will do it on his own.



answers from Kansas City on

He's just not ready. I potty trained both my boys at 3 yrs old with no problem. It's worth waiting a little longer than to be frustrated with your son. It will happen and physically he can do it, but mentally he's not ready. Keep sitting him down on the potty and one day he will surprise you and go on his own. 2 weeks before my son's 3rd birthday he took the potty seat, put it on the potty and said, "go potty" #2 took a little longer but eventually he did that too! leave him in the diapers and sooner than later he'll be ready to potty train! Take care and good luck!


answers from Wichita on

I wouldn't completely stop if I were you. I would start a reward system. Get a clear jar with treats or snacks or little toys and tell him that every time he pees he gets one treat and if he poo's he gets 2 treats. I'd buy him the pull-ups instead of using diapers or underwear. He's smarter than you think or he wouldn't be able to hold it until he's off the potty. I have 5 kids, 4 of which who out of diapers and potty trained by 2.5 yrs old (the other is newborn). I used the reward system with every one of them. Once they were in the habit and completely trained, I introduced a daily allowance or treat system or pizza day, etc. coupled with helping with picking up toys and age appropriate chores. If you allow him to completely regress, I believe he'll think he can get into a pattern of doing this with other things in the future.



answers from St. Louis on

One word..... bribery. When potty training my daugher we went to the dollar store, deals and raided the dollar bins at Target and bought a bunch of little presents for her. We wrapped them and put them in a big box in the bathroom. Anytime she went potty she got to pick a present (1 for pee and 2 for poop (since that's usually harder for kids to pick up on)). Not kidding - she was potty trained within a couple months. But we also really worked with her and so did her daycare. Every half hour was potty time. We had very few accidents and to this day (knock on wood) only one nighttime accident. It sounds expensive, but I figured if we didn't get the potty training done, we would be spending the "present" money on diapers or pull ups anyway. And it worked.

I will say that one day not too long ago she had a bowel movement and I guess she was a little constipated because it hurt when she went. This made her decide to hold all of her bowel movements in for days at a time. We did have to give her mineral oil and miralax daily to help things along and re-teach her that it doesn't hurt to poop. That was a few months ago and after a few days of diarrhea she did start letting herself go again. No problems since.

Of course, as anyone will tell you, it's all about the kid. And they always do it when they're ready. Although I would advise pull ups vs diapers at this point if for no other reason that to make him "Feel" like a big boy.

Good luck!


answers from St. Louis on

Hi M.,

No, you didn't mess up your little one completely..He may not be ready or he just doesn't want to be ready. Just let him take a break for a few days, and when you see he is at peace with this thing, start all over again, but SLOWLY. First, don't force him in the potty thing, because this will make him to reject the potty training process, and he will hold his b.m.and/or pee, and it will be worse as you already saw. Second, if you put him in the ring toilet last time, next time try the potty chair, and let him choose at the store which one he likes. Take him to the bath in those times you know he has the need to go (for instance, my kid goes twice a day, at noon and around 7 pm) Let him in the potty several minutes reading or singing. Stay with him (sorry, but that helps at the beginning). Charts are a good idea. You put a chart w/stars or smiley faces handy for him, and every time he is successful in the potty, he will stick a star or a smiley face on the chart, every 3 stars he may get crayons, coloring books....or little things he may like. When he is not successful, just let him know that it is OK and he will try again later,. Don't bribe him with food or candies at all!. At the beginning, he won't get it, but when he does this a couple of times or three, he will get the idea.
I know that diapers or pull ups are not the best option, but sometimes while you are in the process you may want to make him to wear pull ups basically when you are going out.
You can do this during a weekend, weeks or months..depend on the child and yourself. If you can be at home without going anywhere, you can stick to the potty training few days at home and work with him, but since he already was reluctant, I'd suggest you to start slowly so that you won't have to start over several times again. Your instincts and your kid basically will tell you during the process what to do.
I know how badly you want him to go to the potty, I have been there, but eventually he will!!!! Be patient because he will notice your mood and despair... and he won't go to the potty. Believe me.
The point H. is just let him relax, and then start all over again, and use your imagination.
In my case, my little one is already potty trained, and we started at about 2 years and half. He "was ready" for a while, and after he was sick, I had to start all over again.....That happens!, . He likes to have books in the bathroom, and he sings "twinkle, twinkle little star" after he is D. because there is always...more....
Good luck!!!



answers from Topeka on

We had the exact same situation when our daughter was 2 except that she just held it - for over 24 hours. We took her to the doctor - which made her so scared that she finally went to the bathroom in her diaper. The Dr warned us about the consipation issue and suggested that we give her some prune juice to prevent any problems. Then we just had to sit down with her and let her know that it was ok to go to the bathroom in her diaper. I told her that I was sorry for pushing the potty training so much and that we just needed her to go to the bathroom - no matter where it was. She started going again in her diaper. We waited a few more months before we started training again - and she took right to it. And since she has such great bladder control, we rarely have accidents now. I hope it all works out for you.



answers from St. Louis on

There is a wonderful book "out there" about The Potty! It is meant for him to read and I believe it now comes in male and female versions-so you can give it to himand let him have his peace while he does his business. That is after you have read it with him a few times so he knows what it is all about. It is worth a try. At least he sounds like he has some strong control on this subject-so talk to him about using the potty not about not doing anything-keep it positive. Dr. Nathan Azaran (not sure of this spelling) put out a book a number of years ago about potty training-you might want to check with some book stores-um try the psychology dept. areas as well as potty training. I remember friends of ours taught their little boy by letting him know they would "wipe" when he was finished-then they forgot him one time and we still laugh cause he must have sat there for 30 minutes yelling WIPE for us to come-but he did stay and got the job done. We still enjoy remembering that one. Good luck.

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