There are so many posts regarding eating habits I've read through and gotten some ideas but I have a couple questions that weren't answered there.
My 4 yr old son is a wonderful eater so I think the environment is setup properly. However my two year is a very finicky eater. Some days he will eat something, the next day not, he has been like this forever. Normally I would kind of let him set his own pace but he has only gained like 2 pounds over the last year and he is starting to concern me. He is in about 5th percentile now for his weight, maybe less, he hasn't been to the dr now in a few months. I typically offer them whatever the family is having, then if that is refused I will offer some fruit or dry cereal as a backup. I don't want to get into making him is own meals, it is not really that he only likes certain things, he actually eats quite a variety of things - when he eats, which might be once or twice a week? Or maybe one meal each day or sometimes next to nothing for a few days in a row and then normal for a day and then nothing again. We got to the point where we were forcing him just to get something in him but that makes meal times terrible for everyone and I don't want to cause him eating issues later in life. I know they say at this age this is often a control thing so we have tried to stop forcing the issue. My question is this: If he does not want to eat, do I let him get down from the table and go play or have him wait until his brother is done or ? What about if he eats nothing for lunch or dinner but then comes up to me an hour later hungry? What about fluids? I swear the only thing keeping him going some days is lots of fluids, he will drink 2 or 3 cups of milk and 2 or 3 cups of 25% juice/75% water mixture in a day. I'm tempted to limit that but he drinks that much on days he eats too so.... and I just feel funny about limiting that, I wouldn't want someone to limit my fluids, if I'm thirsty, I'm thirsty. So, what are you thoughts? Thanks for reading.
Thank you to everyone for their advice. He has been eating much better lately, I think partly due to changes we made and partly his own changing. Things we tried: I am slowly trying to wean him down to water but he does not like to drink plain water even a splash of juice will make it acceptable to him but not plain water however in between meals/snacks now if he is thirsty he gets water only, I figure if he is thirsty enough he will drink it if not he can wait. I also don't give him anything drink (not even water) for the last 30 minutes before meal times. I still only put what we are eating on his plate (half of his 4 yr old brother serving size, approrite expectation I think). I have discovered he is a fruit lover so I offer him some kind of fruit at almost every meal, if he eats nothing else on his plate he will almost always eat that at least. He has finally started to tell me now if he is hungry which alleviates some of my fears on him not eating much at a meal and then being hungry later. He has limited choices such a fruit, plain animal or graham crackers or popcorn to eat if he's hungry in between meals. He doesn't typically eat/want a morning snack but is often hungry after nap even if he ate a great lunch. We don't typically eat dinner until 7:00 so I can't argue with the snack too much. Other changes include, not arguing with him or forcing him (though I have broken that twice when he refused to try something I knew he would eat all of if he tasted it) though he does have to stay at the table until at least one other person is done or 15 minutes. Meal times are much happier at our house now. Thanks for being there!
1. Is the doctor concerned, and what does he suggest?
2. Offer him only what the family is eating.
3. Fix his plate and he must sit at the table with all until at least his brother is finished. (Just leave him to eat or not.)
3. Do NOT offer any snacks between meals while he is at this stage....he must learn that mealtimes are when we eat...not grazing whenever.
4. Give him fluids whenever he wants...that is fine.
Dear C.,
I can tell that you love your children dearly and are concerned about them. I have a feeling that if you change a couple of the things you are doing, the situation with your two year old will change dramatically. It will take time, and persistence with a good dose of firmness that you might not feel.
He's not eating because he's not hungry. He's not hungry because of all the milk and juices between meals. Limit fluids to only water, at least for awhile.
Expect the children to eat what is served at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If they don't eat then they wait until the next meal. If they get down from the table before they are finished, they don't come back. Believe me a day or two of that and he will eat. If there is a long period between lunch and dinner, plan a regular snack time and give healthy snacks.
To make things easier, have a family meeting to begin with to explain the changes that are coming. Also, involve them in planning, and even preparing the meals. Yes, some control issues are probably involved, so give them a choice, such as "WHERE ON YOUR PLATE DO YOU WANT YOUR PEAS?" and have them point to the spot. At our house we had a rule that you are required to eat as many as you are old. A two year old, for instance, would eat 2 green beans, whereas a 4 year old would eat 4 etc. Then if they wanted more they could have more, but they had to eat what they took. If there is a new, unfamiliar food, they are required to at least taste it. We told our kids they had to taste things 100 times (over time of course) before they decided they don't like something.
It's not good to load up a child's plate with food and expect him to eat it. Lots of battles get started that way. Give small (perhaps tiny) first helpings and let them ask for more, but they need to understand that if they leave the table they are done for that meal.
A fun choice that we used, usually at bedtime, was "do you want to go to bed right side up or upside down?" My husband would carry them down the hall in whatever fashion they chose. Perhaps you could use the same thing going to the table for meals.
You could also make up some sort of chart with stickers for a meal well eaten.
Expect them to eat well and behave well at meals, but make it fun for the family. Good luck. ^o^
Two year olds will eat when they are hungry.They will not starve themselves.Relax. But do not allow him down to play and romp while the family is together make him stay at the table with the family.Put food on his plate and have your meal.If he eats fine if he doesn't fine but don't give in later and give him cereal if he is hungry, warm up his plate and give it to him. Children will push you as far as they can.My niece was this way and would only eat like 4 differant foods for several years. None of which were healthy except apple sauce.She ate real food at my house or she went hungry because I refused to fix 2 seperate meals. She had a good variety at my house and eventually started eating more and growing.Do not make him eat, this can cause over weight later in life.My parents use to try to make me clean my plate.But I quit eating when I was full.They kept telling me other children were starving because they had no food in other country's. I kept telling my mom to send it to them because I was full.It was wrong of them to tell me that and refused to eat when my body didn't want it. I would eat almost anything except Homony and Dad made me eat it once and it made me throw up, Mom made dad clean up the mess.I had to sit at the table for like 3 hours or until the Homony was gone.I just did not like the taste of it and still don't eat it today.
You might also make sure your little guy is having regular bowel movements. Evey kid is differant but if the bowel doesn't empty there is no room for more food. As long as he isn't ill and seems healthy and happy don't worry.Alot of people eat too much that is why we have such a mass amount of obese people in the world.If they drank enough WATER every day they wouldn't over eat.Just plain old water will keep your body working properly and please don't give the little ones soda pop, it is bad for them and adults as well.My parents never allowed us to have any kind of pop as children and then came the slumber parties in 3rd grade and up and the adults bought us pop, I always got sick because my body wasn't use to any kind of junk food or drinks.I never really thougt about it much until recently but when we had sleep overs at our house we always had 100% real juice and milk and real food that was home grown.We lived on a farm so all meat was fresh and all vegtables were fresh and even fruit was mostly home grown.The kids loved our parties and no one ever got sick from sugar over loads.
Good luck.
Debbie
I can see how this would be a concern for you and the health of your 2 yr old, but I remember my children going through a mild non-eating phase and I realized that I had to stop doing what wasn't working. The first thing I changed was to feed them "on the go" (play time seems more important than eating...) by fixing a sandwich (whatever they liked) and, literally, placing it in their hand. Amazingly, they ate every bit of it! With a 2 yr old, there is enough time in the coming years to place them at the table with you as a family. Also, if it was lunch/dinner time, I would limit their liquid intake because they would "drink" their lunch/dinner.
Something else you may find helpful is a website www.kidseatgreat.com. Dr. Christine Wood is a friend of mine as well as a sought after pediatrician. Hope this helps and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
i am having the same problem with my son. he turned 3 on Sept 26 and he is 23 pounds 4 oz and 36 in. he does not like to drink milk. so we don't have the issue of drinking milk all day. here are some things from Riley Children's hospital and from myself that work to boost calories when they DO eat. (however do NOT eat their food or you will increase YOUR calories and gain weight..lol). add butter to everything(Riley)! if you are having spaghetti for dinner put butter (1/2 Tablespoon) in his bowl of spaghetti, rice, beef & noodles, mashed potatoes, etc... for lunches we are at home so i fry foods (he is going to have high cholesterol) tator tots, fish sticks, french fries, chicken nuggets, etc.. however i eat a salad and he wants to eat the salad too. but my rule is two bites of food one bite of salad. he would eat veggies and fruits all day if i let him. also he barely uses ketchup except at McDs. i let him dip his food in ranch dressing or Italian dressing (55 cal, 6 g fat per tablespoon) if he wants to eat cereal in the morning i use whole milk or vanilla pediasure. (again do not drink it..you will gain weight). for snacks: give him 2 choices that way he feels like a big boy choosing his own snack and let him help you make it: cheese sticks dipped in whole yogurt (my son only likes plain yogurt), home-aid chocolate pudding made with vanilla pediasure or whole milk; fruit smoothie Popsicle (whole yogurt, puree of canned fruit in heavy syrup, pouch of vanilla carnations instant breakfast) then freeze in either ice cube trays each cube is 1 oz or dixie cups or Popsicle trays. i bought the Magic Bullet to do my smoothies. sometimes he likes to eat it like soup :-) which is the whole idea. let him use different utensils to eat his "soup" with..like a game(Riley)(can you eat soup with a fork, spoon, measuring spoons, medicine dropper, the toy kitchen set of tiny spoons, the lid to the water bottle, etc..?)let him find things. then work on counting at the same time. you will be amazed at how much he takes in without even realizing it. and its not a power struggle. sometimes for lunch we have a picnic on the kitchen floor. but when daddy and sissy are home for dinner, we eat at the table like a family. consider snacks little meals. they are just as important. Nolan eats every 3-4 hours on a schedule (Riley) breakfast 7:00 brush teeth, snack 10:00, lunch 12:30, snack 3:30, dinner 6:00, snack (7:30) then brush teeth go to bed. there are plenty more ideas but that is enough for now. feel free to contact me. its nice to have a social network or people going thru the same things...
C.,
Your little guy isn't eating because...if he is drinking milk and juice he isn't hungry. He should be drinking water if he is thirsty. You will see a change in his eating habits if you switch to water. He could have one cup of milk mid-morning and one cup of juice mid-afternoon but to give him more than that is like putting him on a liquid diet. He will probably give you fits for a few days until he re-adjusts but then his eating patterns would change and he will understand that meal times are for eating. If he doesn't eat, he shouldn't get snacks either. I have had finicky eaters too and this should do the trick.
I hope my advice helps you!
M.
I too have the same problem with my 2 year old. One day he eats like a champ and then next he seems to survive on water and milk. I get so upset when he doesnt eat because I feel like he should be starving. He wieghs about 27 pounds and our peditrician is not worried and neither am because I know he is healthy. However, I did read a good article in my Parents magazine and that said 1) we should count there veggies and fruits (or eating in general) by the week not the day and 2) It simply said that is very common for two years old to eat and then not eat from day to day. Good luck I hope we all get normal pattern eaters here very soon.
a few bites is enough. they don't need to eat a plateful.
we don't force things, we know they'll eat what they need.
egg boats are really fun. deviled eggs with pretzel sticks and chips for sails... works like magic to get some protein in my kids :)
I have this same problem with my daughter. I swear, sometimes the kid lives on air. I, like you, am about at my wit's end with her sometimes. I refuse to make her separate meals from what my husband and I eat. I leave her in her char, at the table, till she eats what I feel is enough. Some days it's only a few bites, and some days she'll eat her entire plate. She knows what I mean when I say "eat one more bite and you can get up." It doesn't work all the time, but it's better than it used to be. If she's getting teeth, she will eat next to nothing. I give her milk at mealtime, but not throughout the day, per her pediatrician. She can have water during the day, but no juice. I also don't give her any snacks. If she doesn't eat her lunch, I put it in the fridge and if she's hungry, she can finish that. Same with dinner. It's is by no means a perfect system, but it's starting to work for us. You can lead a two year old to food, but you can't make them eat! :D Good luck! :D
This is obviously something we all go through at some point with our kids. This is perfectly normal especially at this age. First, DO NOT let him get down until everyone is done, this will only create a whole other issue that why would you even want to start. Yes, sometimes you need to limit his fluids especially milk. Milk is very filling for little ones. Don't let him have anything but water for about an hour or so before you'll be eating. If he's drinking a bunch right before a meal he's really not going to be hungry. I never had heard of this before, but I saw this idea on TV from a pediatrician....when you sit for a meal do not put anything on the childs plate, but of course put the usual on everyone elses. Do not make a deal about it, talk to him about it orlet him eat off your plate, just go about your meal. In turn this makes the child want what all the others are having and he will start asking for some on his plate as well. It seemed to work. Goodluck
