2 Year Behavior

my 4 yr old had a nasty attitude and temper tantrums until he started school. Then he was a new wonderful boy. He was just bored being at home all the time. He started school at 4 1/2 (young learners kindergarten). I bet you will all be so happy when that time comes!

What I would suggest is you go to a dollar store and make him up a busy box. His own crayons, coloring books, safety scissors, pencils, whatever is age appropriate for his age. Everyday when you need to help your daughter with homework have him take out his busy box and do his homework. Get some stickers at the dollar store and put stickers on his papers. Some children just need to be busy all of the time. When you are cooking get some playdough and rolling pins and let him pretend to be cooking as well. I know it can be messy but it is better then not being able to do things. The one thing that really concerns me is that your daughter will begin to resent him for being so disruptive and not allowing any time to be given to her or her needs. If he cannot cooperate I would not get a sitter, I would put him in a naughty chair and follow through. Consequences not just constant correcting. Consequences will work and eventually should send him the message that his behavior is unacceptable. Good luck!!

I have learned a lot from these books:

"Don't Make Me Count to Three"
"Shepherding a Child's Heart"
"Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours"
"Parenting With Love and Logic"

Good luck!

Are you doing any positive reinforcement with him? It may sound silly, but we got a glass jar and decorated it with like stick on "jewels" and painted my son's name on it and then have a big cup of poker chips next to it. Any time my son does something we like, (helping pick up toys, following instructions, eating nicely at dinner, etc) he gets to take a poker chip out of the cup and put it into his glass jar. Once the jar is filled, he gets something special...like a trip to bounce U, or a new book, etc. The theory is, the more good things he does, he'll get chips, then will want to do more good things...and overall his behavior will improve. The chips serve as a reminder whenever he's starting to go off track...think of ANYTHING to give him a chip for! "I really like how you are not climbing on the counters right now. thank you. lol" It seems silly, but has really helped with my son when we were going through similar issues. Also, "money in the bank is money in the bank" (no taking away chips for any reason, don't use it as a punishment, he has to know that the jar always means good things for him.) Good luck! Oh, also there is a book called "Transforming the Difficult Child" that you might want to check out, good things in there too.

Hello, i have also 2 kids, a boy who's 5 and a girl who's 2 and the terrible one!. Sometimes they fight too, but i always tell my son that we have to teach her how to behave!!, then he gets involve and feels like a super hero big brother, what i try to do with this is make him undestand that his sister is learning to communicate and as she doesnt know how to do it , any kind of misbehavior is because of this. He actually feels relieved to know that!
At this age also de little ones want all that the big ones have, so if it's snack time i give them the snacks in separate bowls , if it is ballon time..also 1 for each.
Not need to worry so much, at this age kids are learning the wonderful world of communication, as long as you make her understand what is right and what it's not right she will understand.
Good luck

I also had a girl first then 4yrs later a boy. I went thru the same thing. He was so active and mischievous. I was tired all the time and felt like I couldn't control my child. I don't really have any advice for you. BUT, it does get BETTER. The older he got the better he got. He is now 4 and he is so cute, caring and he listens well, however his boy-ness still comes out sometimes. :)
So, Good Luck-- Take alot of breaks when you can and just remember, This to, will soon pass.
C.

You don't mention what you are doing in regards to his inappropriate behavior, but you did list quite a few. The biggest things that stuck out to me is how you worded a few things such as, "he doesn't let you make dinner without getting underfoot & that you feel you are living life around his needs" What I see from what you wrote is that you are living your life around his WANTS and this is affecting your relationships with the other members in your family. A 2 year old should not have the power or capacity to let or not let you make dinner for your family ever. swimming & gymnastics are goodies and should be earned. I do not mean to come across harsh, but you may be blinded by love & just truthful in your face may help open your eyes. Your daughter should be able to feel safe at home and not fearful it is her one safe place. I like two books the miracle discipline & love is logic books & I tend to use a mixture of both. I bet you are so stressed with this environment. At first I would have a one on one with daughter & ask her how she sees it & what she thinks about it... Out of the mouths of babes. Then I would start putting some of her & your wants above & beyond his. He is a toddler, but both of my kids could comprehend when it is not all about them & mine will even tell the other one if they are getting selfish by saying, "it isn't all about you today, thank you." Lovingly teach him that everyone in the family is important, that relationships require a give & take, and that we all have to behave appropriately. Tough Love, best of luck. He'll thank you later, I promise & so will your daughter. I do not mean for any of this to be rude or ugly just eye opening. HUGS.

I know just what you're going through except I have not only a 2 yr old boy but also a 3 yr old boy. It really does feel out of control sometimes like no matter what you do, they're just into everything and need constant monitoring! I also sympathize with your feeling that you're working around your sons needs because I also feel that way. They often make going to the store or even cleaning up the house into a difficult task but here are some suggestions of things that have helped with my boys.

I got a play vacuum for each of them so that when I need to clean the house, they can vacuum along with me. They also think it's great if I give them those Swiffer dusters. They may not actually be helping to clean but it makes them feel involved and it keeps them from nagging at me for attention while I work. I try to involve my sons in making dinner a couple times a week. I give them a task that I know they're capable of handling like stirring ingredients in a bowl or buttering bread (with the backside of a spoon). Children this age are eager to help and even that small bit of inclusion makes them feel very special. Sometimes being involved in preparing dinner makes my kids eat better too. :) If you'd rather not have your son help you directly, maybe play food and kitchen tools would help so he can 'cook' while you do. I second the idea of an activity box with coloring books, play-doh, a special movie, etc. I keep these things in the closet and only bring them out once in a while so they don't lose their appeal. Swim and gymnastics are great! I also have my sons chase around a soccer ball or ride bikes in the backyard. The more tired your son is from playing, the less he will be to hang on you for something to do. I hope this helps! :)