2 Miscarriages and in Need of Hopeful Personal Stories

hello L.-i want to share my friend A's story. She is 36 years old had 2 miscarriages. after that she said that she basically just didn't know what to do and took a break from the whole babymaking. Low and behold on Jan 2008 she found out she was pregnant. She had many complications because she had lots of cysts and she was larger than normal. She looked 4 months pregnant while being only 2 months. She found out she had gestational diabetes but stayed optimistic throughout the entire pregnancy. As of today she has a beautiful healthy 11 week old baby. Always have hope and try to stay positive. I hope that helps and I will keep you in my prayers. =0)

L.,

First, I'm sorry for what you are going through. I personally haven't been touched by it but I have 2 people very close in my life who's stories are all too similiar. Both had at least one child already. One was trying for # 2, one was trying for # 3 (the one trying for #3 was 37 at the time). Both of them had at least 3 miscarrieages each. Both were very stressed and very upset. Both in the end got pregnant again and gave birth to the babies they had been trying for. Lot's in common, the main thing I think that helped was they stopped stressing about it and even stopped "trying". In fact, my 37 year old friend, came to peace with the fact that a 3rd child wasn't in the cards. So much that her hubby had an appt for a vasectomy. Well, lo and be hold, she got pregnant BEFORE his appt! I know from talking to both that they were still worried, wondering when they'd miscarry again but they also stayed very positive and took very good care of themselves. My cousin is the one who had trouble with #2, well number 2 just turned 1 and she is now 18 weeks pregnant with # 3! (she just turned 37) Funny how it works out. I got pregnant with my first two on the first shot - have been trying (half heartedly) for #3 for about 7 mos. I worry too, because of my age (37), so, it wouldn't be right for me to tell you to stop worrying! Easier said than done. I'd say if you are scared to try again then you should give it a break. Another friend of mine had two very late miscarriages 11 weeks and 17 weeks. This was very traumatic for her. She can get pregnant, just wasn't able to stay pregnant. Her Dr. does't know why. She decided to just stop trying until.... ? I know how much she wanted a 3rd child but I think it was very wise of her to give her body and mind a break.

I know how much you want a baby. Hang in there (-:
M.

Hi L.!
I myself have not had the experience of not being able to hold a pregnancy but I do have a story of someone that I work with. He is 37 and his wife 45 had 9(yes 9)miscarriages. They went through years of this. She had a son but her new husband didn't have any children and they were destined to have one of their own. I even offered to carry the baby for them. I felt so bad and was just praying that they would get pregnant again and carry full term. Then they stopped trying (the stress is very bad when trying to get pregnant) They got pregnant 6 years later and she was on bed rest from 3monthes pregnant till she gave birth, and they just had their baby June of this year. She was healthy and it brought joy to everyone that knows them!! I say - do not give up!!!!! Don't stress while trying and pray alot!!!!!!!!!!!!! The sadness of losing a child over and over again is horrible and I am so sorry for you but don't give up I believe it will happen!!!!

I understand how scared you feel, it's a normal feeling. But early miscarriages like these (exactly similar to mine by the way) are actually a good sign that, A, you can get pregnant, B, nature will not let the pregnancy go on if something is not healthy. It still makes it a true grieving process... But the way I dealt with it was to accept what nature had in store for me, take the best care of myself I could (good food, good exercise, and control what I can, that is: avoid stress and any medication and/or substance that may be harmful, including phtalates (I limit plastic, try to drink from glass as much as possible for instance), pain killers (aspirin, advil, even tylenol, I won't take that), coffee, etc. That way, I felt I got my body ready "if" it could happen... But I didn't try too hard either, in a sort of "let it happen" way. I took one day at a time, trying not to be attached, thinking, if this baby wants to stay, it will. I am now reassured that what other people told me (I wasn't inadequate, and this would work out), was true... I think the most important is to allow nature to do its work, while at the same time, not being attached to the outcome. This will allow you to "try" and welcome a precious new life in your home, when it's ready.
I hope this helps, and I wish you a lot of happiness.

Good morning L. my husband went through something similar. I lost a set of twins when I was 5 months pregnant it was our first pregnanacy and we were very excited I found out a week before we were having a boy and a girl. Losing my kids was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. A year later I got pregnant again and I had a miscarriage when I was 13 weeks they say the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. I didn't know what to do I thought I would never have kids and my husband and I wanted kids really, really bad. About a year later I got pregnant again and I carried my son full term he was 8lbs 4oz and he will be 3 on Dec 23 and I had my daughter almost 2 years later she was also 8lbs 4oz and we just celebrated her one year on Nov 5. I know it seems really hard and depressing at times but if you keep praying all is well in the end. Keep God first. Good luck and I know things will work out.

Take care
D.

Hi L.. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with the pain of miscarriage which I know from experience is very difficult and heartbreaking. I had one but a girlfriend of mine (age 40) had 2 and then a successful pregnancy (she's due in 2 months). She too had decided to just relax and go with the thought of if we get pregnant again great and if not, then it was not meant to be. She was more relaxed and was able to get pregnant and carry successfully this time. Good luck.

You have my empathy & zen hugs!

I'm super fertile, but my body has always rejected being pregnant :(

Mostly I lost them in the first month...the hardest was 20 weeks. I have a double whammy; The first being that my placentas grow too fast and don't stop! They get so big and heavy that they start ripping away from the wall (placental abruption). A normal placenta weighs a little under 2 pounds to a little over 4 pounds. My son's placenta weighed 23 pounds at his birth, and was over 24 inches in diameter! Yikes. The second whammy is that I get a form of hormone driven cancer...so from the moment I get pregnant my body has to start fighting off this cancer. My docs believe that many of the early stage losses are due to there simply not being enough energy in my body to grow a baby and fight the cancer as well.

So....because I learned all of this the hard way...

With my son (who was my last pregnancy)...I ate my head off (yuck...but I was always ridiculously hungry anyway)...cut my activity down to nothing so as not to jar the placenta (so hard!!! I don't even want to talk about how much weight I gained)...and had three local-anesthetic surgeries to remove as much of the cancer as possilbe to try and stay ahead of it.

<Laughing> You know, I'm probably the only woman on the planet who was hoping & praying every day for twins or trips. As much as I'd love a rowdy-lovey family of 8 or 9, there's just no way my body can go through that again. (At least that's what I know when I'm thinking logically!) So I cherish and delight in my one and only love. (And am slowly collecting a menagerie.) Puppies and kittens and horses aren't QUITE the same, but they help.

Anyhow, my point in all of this is, YES! After many many miscarriages I have an amazing, exciting, wonderful little boy. AND while most miscarriages are arguably caused by DNA not lacing up correctly, multiple miscarriages usually have a common denominator. With only two (two da**, too many!!), it could either just be bad luck OR you might hard to impossible to find your denominator...but if you pow-wow with your doc, you might. And if you can, it's worth it. Believably worth it.

Luck, & hope, & shared sorrows,
Z.

Hi L.,
I'm sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through! I hope you are finding comfort somehow, maybe by knowing that all things happen for a reason. Even though the reasons are not known to us, a higher source takes care of us in a special way. My first pregnancy was lost about 10 weeks, it was so difficult for me to handle, as I had so many plans for my life at that point. Within four months I was pregnant again. At 12 weeks I had some cramping and lite bleeding and I was horrified! It turned out that I had lost one baby, I was pregnant with fraternal twins, separate sacs. I carried my daughter to term and she was born at 40 weeks. My next pregnancy was going great! At 18 weeks I went in for my ultrasound to determine the baby's sex. I was so excited to find out on this one. The ultrasound tech took a long time and was asking many questions. While on the table, I started to get a strange feeling inside. She left the room for a few minutes and came back in with an OB/GYN who confirmed her findings that the baby had died. It was horrible and so painful. Every step that followed got worse and was a nightmare. I eventually got through that but it was not easy. I went to group sessions to discuss the pain, as my husband was not one to speak about it. I also started taking Prozac. Eventually, I was getting back to myslef and worked hard not to focus on the pain, as my daughter needed her mother. About 3 months after that, I became pregnant for the fourth time. This last pregnancy had it's complications, but we made it through, at 37 weeks I was induced. My son turned 1 two weeks ago.
I wish you strength through this hard time. Continue to find joy and happiness in every moment with your son. Life is too short and has too much hurt not to find happiness in your child. That was one lesson which took me ahile to learn.

I, too, have miscarried but have two healthy boys and pregnant with a third. I wish you the best of luck....no one really knows why but it is fairly common. It's hard to not think that you are unable to have kids anymore, but one in three pregnancies is miscarried. Some women never have any...some have four! A friend of mine has a son and has been trying to get pregnant and is finally in the second trimester with her second baby after FOUR miscarriages. I hope your doc takes you seriously and is going to look into the problem, but in all honesty it is normal...hopefully third times a charm! I wish you the best of luck!

I will give a fast version of my three kids LOL
The first one (a girl) took about 2 years to get with three miscarriages, she is now nine (fertility pills to get her), the second (a son) was fertility shots and took over 3 years, he started out as a twin, I miscarried one and only 3 weeks later discovered that one was still there =] he is now 4. After second baby was born I had some complications with recovery, and they put me on birth control pills to try to control the bleedind. Well when he was about 4.5 months old and I was still sick, I went in to have my thyroid tested, thyroid fine but I was having ANOTHER BABY!! He is now 3! So God knows what you need WAY before you know what you need, so keep enjoying the 'trying' to get pregnant and God will let you know when you need another one LOL