2 Kids Vs. Trying for 3 - Frisco,TX

When I had my 3rd child, a friend visited me in the hospital (also a mom of 3) and advised me to have the 4th. The world works in pairs---shoestrings, Hostess cupcakes, etc. Well, I didn't take her advice since I'd had my 3 in 3 years! I was a bit overwhelmed. But my 3rd child is actually closer to me than the other two, though they are also close. It's my 3rd I would choose to have take care me in my old age! But I will tell you she always had to sit in a chair at the end of a booth table, sleep on the floor at motels (2 beds, you know) and had to wear hand-me-down-downs. She will be 40 on Aug 3rd, and I think she laughs at all that now.

I have ten children!! Ten wonderful children in a wild, busy, zaney family!! Same mom, same dad, we've been married for 36 years.
Seven are biological. I had two in my 20's, four in my 30's, and one in my 40's. Yes, you heard right, one in my 40's and I refused all and any genetic testing.
Then, in the last four years, in our 50's, my husband and I have adopted three children from the foster care system. We've been foster parents off and on for most of our marriage, and have cared for more than 50 children.
We also have nine grandchildren, the same ages and many older than some of our children.

It's a wonderful life. Go for it. You can never have too many of what God calls blessings!

My kids are grown (27 & 22) and if I could, I would definitely have a third (I'm 46). Pray about it and I will pray for you.
Frances

Hi A.,

I have three beautiful boys, and I wouldn't change it for the world. With my third pregnancy, I was hoping for a girl, of course, but it really didn't matter, since we wanted three no matter what. Three, however, definately put me over the edge. I would strongly advise you to get a nanny or daycare, if at all possible. I do not have any help, so my life is very difficult now, since my boys are so young. Best of luck in whatever you decide!

we are expecting our fifth in January! So I would say go for it! Our first two are 15 months apart and then 2&1/2 years later we had number three. He is such a sweet little boy and although I was really nervous about having another one, the transistion was a lot eaiser then I had thought it would be. The first two, although they were still little, really loved to help out with the new baby.
You have to plan your day more so you still have time with each child, but as the older kids start school, it leaves you time for the younger ones. They really help to keep each other busy and there is always one who wants to help with dinner or laundry or what ever I am doing- that gives me some time to listen to and talk to that child.
I really enjoy having four children and have never regreted our decision although sometimes they can be a little loud, there is always time for each one.
Good luck!
~C.

I've always heard that when you're done, you know you're done. Doesn't sound like you're done to me :). I say go for it...it may be difficult, well it will be for sure some days, but you'll never regret it. Good luck to you in whatever you decide and I'll say a prayer for your family. We've been working on having a third for almost 2 yrs nows...the first two came so easily. Get started now...you just never know.

Hi A.

I would not worry about your age. Many women are waiting until late 30's to even try for a baby so age should not be a factor in decision making and should not play any part in your miscarriages. I'm 26 yrs old and have also experienced two unknown cause miscarriages. I was about 6-8 weeks along with both miscarriages but have been blessed to have carried three full term pregnancies with no complications.

Our third baby was what we call the "oops" baby! : )
We were not exactly planning for him and I was on the pill but did miss a few w/out using back up and so I got pregnant. I was actually kinda glad he was an "oops" because if we had kept planning and thinnking like you and your hubby, we may have never had hima nd we're so thankful now that we did.
My first two kids are 4 yrs and 4 mnths apart. My second and third child were only 2 yrs apart. I have to be honest and with my experience having a third child only 2 yrs apart from my second has been HARD with daily life. When I had my two, I could do and go just about anywhere and could focus completely on my kids w/out losing my mind. My second child is still so dependent on mom and dad and that makes it harder to go places w/out having hubbies help. I used to do all the shopping on my own while taking both kids with me (when I just had two) and easily maintained my home. Now with the three, I have to wait for hubby to get home to go anywhere because it's just too much having three kiddos at the store and not losing my mind! : >

I guess you could say I'm the type of Mom who is VERY over protective of her kids and when I feel outnumbered or overwhelmed and that I might lose control, I can get panicky which is why I won't take all three kids with me to the store, restaurants or the mall or pretty much anywhere w/out hubby's help! It didn't take long for my DH to quickly pitch in and help more with grocery shopping and helping with the kids. His choices were either being home with the kids, taking me and the kids with him shopping or just going himself......as you can see, he chose to start going himself and everything just seemed to work itself out! : )
If I do the shopping I'll ususally just bring my 8 yr old and 3 yr old OR just the baby. It helps a lot to leave at least one kiddo at home with Dad. So life has changed but only for the better because everything always works out when you have kids and we can't imagine not having one of our kids not be in our life. They are all so wondeful and different in their own ways and it's great seeing them growing up close together and having a sibling to share life with. Now that I have three, I think we're going to end with 4 but won't have another one for at least 4 more years. My youngest is still only 15 mnths so as time goes by, things slowly but surely do get easier! : )

Don't get me wrong, having three is wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing in the world. My only wish is that I had waited a few more years for the kids to be further apart.

Day to day life in the house has not changed much, in the beginning yes but once the baby gets older & things get essier they always seem to just fit right in. I think it helps a lot to have your kids more spread out which is what it looks like you are planning anyway. So yes, be prepared to have your hands much more full but you will also be filled with so much more love to have in your life. You will never regret having another child EVER, but will only regret not taking that chance and having one more.
Good luck to you and I hope you and your husband come to a decision w/out losing too much sleep! Take care.

Hi A..
I have 4 kids, soon to be 5. Going from 2 to3 was the hardest transition. Because, if one parent cares for one child, then the other parent is stuck with 2. Sometimes the 1-to-1 ratio works better.

That said, my kids all love having siblings. They are more of each others friends than they are of any school friends.

Many days, it is difficult taking care of more kids than it would be to care for fewer. But the joy is truly immense. I think it would really depend on how you handle stress: do you cope pretty well or do you get overwhelmed? Because that would be a good deciding factor.

I know you don't want to think about the financial aspect, but I will tell you that my older 3 are 18 months apart each and the financial issue was never a concern until they entered grade school. Now, we have private school tuition, sports fees, instrument lessons, new shoes, etc. TIMES THREE. I know that if I'd spaced mine further apart of if we'd not had 3, the financial burdens would be lighter. That's not a great reason to not have another child, but I don't know your financial situation and if it's tight, you might just think about waiting a bit so that your kids will not all need the same things at the same time, thus draining your wallet.

Good Luck!

I have 3 girls. It is what i always wanted. Yes, it is crazy sometimes but as you know even 2 can be crazy. The third one just jumps right in. I love that there is always someone for the other to play with. I say give it to god. See what happens. I love it!!!!! Mine are 8, 6, & 3 wild and perfect!

All my children are close to three years apart. We decided to have a third child and I am so glad we did (of coarse we've added another since). There are days yes that our home is wild, but on the whole I would not change a thing. Each child brings a blessing into your family that you did not know was missing. I myself come from a family of three kids and I'm the middle child. I do not feel stuck in the middle but loved growing up with my brothers. My kids seem to be the same way. Their all very close. Basically if it feels right for your family do it, I know it's a difficult desicion. but only your husband and you know. Good luck.

I have two and know for certain I don't want a third. For you however, it sounds like the thought has defintely entered your mind and you should go for it! We were debating between 1 and 2 and I was afraid if we didn't have a second it would always be a regret.

Hi A., sounds like you are truly "not done". I am 39 and have two children already boy 9 and girl 5. I just gave birth to our third child. She was a "nice surprise"! It was always on the back of my mind, my husband was "done". We have boy and a girl already, he says. I will be turning 40 Friday. I say go for it, it is a little time consuming at the beginning for me and the baby, the other children play together and when the baby naps, i will nap for 30 mins then play with the children or feed them or whatever. You can manage it. Once we saw her face and heard her little cry, we couldn't believe she was ours! I love her and my two others just the same. The two other ones are VERY helpful. Couldn't manage without them!

Hey A.,
I just thought I would add my 2 cents. I am a mother with 3 children 3 and under, the youngest 2 mths. We originally wanted 4 children but since my 3rd was born I am quite sure this is it for us. I wouldn't change anything age wise or the fact that we have 3 children. I wanted them all close in age. I wanted them to be close growing up and I didn't really want to get one grown and then start all over again. I am very happy with 3 knowing we can go ahead and start our lives as a completed family. Soon we will be able to start taking fun family trips together where I don't have to worry about a small baby or being pregnant. I do have to say though with them all being so close in age and so young it is extremly tiring and hard to give them the one on one they need. My husbands job allows him to be home a lot however the days he works he is gone 24 hrs which is a few times a week. That gets really tough really quick. I have had many nights where I don't get to sleep until 3 because baby wont allow it, and then you have to get up the next morning and deal with all three on such a short night of sleep. I am also the type of person who is scared to death of my small baby getting sick and with something and with the older 2 kids it is sooo hard to keep everyone healthy for baby. I am by no means trying to sway you from against having a 3rd. I am so happy I did and I know things will only get better the older she gets. All of my children are precious gifts from God and I wouldn't change anything about them for the world. Good luck on whatever decision you make. I know that if you are even slightly thinking about it there must me something there that you are missing. Pray about it and I am sure you will make the right choice.

have you considered your age and health? 35 makes you a mature mother, whether or not you agree. so what if it takes a few years to conceive and you are 40? the risks are higher for you and baby. i had 5 years between pregnancies in my 20s and it was a huge difference. i'm sure it would more so in your 30s.

A., first of all I don't know any mother who would say after having a child that they wish they didn't...again, I don't know of any, doesn't mean there isn't someone out there... I had 2 kids for the longest, I thought I was done and then 9 years later had my 3rd. I tied my tube after wards thinking more so, I couldn't afford another one. Since there is an age gap and I'm experiencing motherhood all over again, I wish I wouldn't have tied them so my younger son would have a sibling closer to him in age. Also, I love being a mother. I know I'll never stop being a mother no matter what age they are, and maybe one-on-one time is hard; but I think the rewards out way the problems... Plus my kids have each other, they fight now, so did I with my sisters when we were younger; now we are close best friends. Again this is all my opinion, I'm glad I have 3 kids, and now, I wish I could of had four...

This is a decision only you can make. No two families will have the same dynamics, etc... No guaranteeds!
Best of Luck with your decision.......just one thought. I planned my kids 3 years apart as well, but the best laid plans.....Hah! Couldn't get pregnant and they are 5 years apart with a whole set of dynamics I could not plan for.

Hi. I don't really have any advise for you. We're pregnant with our 2nd and already talking about #3. Financially we know we'll never be able to, but if God blesses us, we'll take it. Thank you for posting this question. I really do apprecaite it.

Hi A.~
I had my son when I was 30 & my daughter when I was 33. When I was 36 I struggled making the decision, just as you are. But we didn't have another due to our finances. We are now 54 yo & I have always regretted not having a 3rd child. So I say "go for it".

This is a tough question to answer. I had 2 children, a boy and a girl, 5 years apart from my first marriage. I never felt complete, because he was a jerk and made the pregnancies hell (actually had an affair and left when I was pregnant the second time). So new husband, I wanted to do it again and enjoy it. I adore all of them, but it was hard having a 10 and a 5 year old and a newborn. At lot of it had to do with being a mom taxi to and from school and activities and it seemed the baby always wanted to nap when I was needing to pick up or drop off. Also, she was breastfed and refused anything else, so wherever we were, no matter how inconvenient, she would have to be fed.

I have heard so many times that it is easier to have an even number of kids, but really I think so much of it depends on their personality, finances, your health etc.
Bottom line I would say to pray and ask for God's wisdom, because only he knows the future. Best of luck.

We debated about whether we wanted a third and took the plunge as soon as we decided. Our kids are very close together- 3 years 10 months, 2 years 2 months, and 13 months old. We got our girl last, and I am just so glad wer had her. My husband really intended to stop at two, and I agreed, but within a week of my second son's birth I changed my mind. I just didn't feel that our family was complete. Every time I pictured our family reading stories together on the bed I pictured three little rugrats climbing all over us and giggling. I would have regretted it immeasurably if we hadn't had our third. In some ways it is easier to take care of the baby the third time around because the older two entertain eachother, but of course there are many things that are a lot harder, like going places and just meeting the general needs of all three kids. I absolutely love it though and would not change a thing. I spend time with each of my kids individually every day even if it's just taking turns reading a story on my lap. My oldest will read some of the words when I point to them, my middle guy will point out objects, and my little one just listens and watches as I point to the pictures or opens and closes the book. I love every minute.