2 1/2 Biting and Just Plain Right Being BAD

Hi T.,

Children do go through stages like that and some of it can be just to test boundries and it is my experience the less you yell the quicker it will pass because with yelling they get immune and you have to keep doing it louder and louder to get action but with quiet anger well of course there is a limit and the child will pay more attention to hand signal cues to stop a behavior. It does sound a bit more like grief though - a family pet can be a hard thing for a young child to lose. They don't know how to deal with the anger and fear that come from it and lash out and even adults will try to push people away during grief to test to see if they are going to come back and if they are paying attention to them. If I was you I would find a picture or 2 of the turtle and frame them with the child and let him put them where he wants and talk about missing him but he can see the animal in the picture whenever he wants. If you don't have a picture try having him draw one or find one in a coloring book and let him color it to look like the animal he misses. This might be more fun and could actually work better because the other relatives that he is having the outbursts with could ask questions about the picture and comment about his artwork and smooth over the bad behavior with positive family time. Good luck!

Maybe he is feeling left out like you said. Would you be able to put your 5 month old in daycare, or with a sitter for even just half of one day per week to have time with just your son? Maybe having some special time with just you, with your other child completely gone would help. I have a 2 and a half year old as well, and I try to play with just her when our 4 month old is sleeping, but even then I feel like I have to keep telling her to play quietly etc which I am sure makes it sound like I am focused on the baby.

I don't really have any advise, but encouragement. After having twins and 10 nieces and nephews I've learned that biting and hitting and talking back are all stages, and sometimes no matter how much we discipline thye might keep doing those things. If we are consistent, they do outgrow it.

Have you tried Nannny 911 tactics? Naughty chair...get down to his level...the whole bit? It's frustrating for kids that age because they can't express themselves as well as they would like.

Hi,

I have three small children all 2 to 2 and a half years apart. Your son may be vying for the attention he is not longer receiving from you and expressing that frustration the only way he knows how. I would suggest that you find ways to make your son feel as special as he is to you. Raising your voice only escalates his frustration. Some one on one time when the baby is napping would probably benefit both of you. Your son needs to know and feel that he still has his mommy and at the same time understand that the new baby needs special attention as well. When attending to the baby you could explain to your son what you are doing and why and find little ways to have him help to feel apart of the experience (i.e. help you hold the bottle, get the diaper, etc.)

In the end, your son will outgrow this and these are just a few suggestions to help make this transition smoother.

Good luck!

Good luck! I think our kids are about the same age apart, my son is just about to turn 3 and my daughter almost 1. I went through this a few months ago, and was ready to sell my kids :) just kidding!
I dont know if it was the consistent discipline, my attitude changed or his, or if he just outgrew it, but things are better now. Just stay strong, consistent and loving to both of your kids, and it will get better! They just have to learn by trying....and you just have to try and stay sane in the process!

Hi there-
I seriously doubt your child's misbehaviors are related to the death of your turtle--I don't think that kids that age have the capacity yet to fully understand death. I have a 2 1/2 year old son as well, and we use the "Love and Logic" approach to parenting in general, but definitely for discipline. Make sure that you are consistent, that the punishment fits the crime, and that you explain your actions to your child. Giving your son choices makes him feel like he has some control over his daily life, in which he really has no control. Make sure that the choices are things you can live with. For example, "It's almost time to go, would you like to play for five minutes or six minutes?" And then, "Six minutes? Great! We will leave in six minutes then." Then if a tantrum ensues, you explain firmly and logically that he was given the choice, made the choice, and follow through. Once you get this down, and it will take some practice, it's really effective, and actually very empowering for the children. This parenting/discipline style is one that I used quite successfully for five years as a preschool teacher, and the one my husband and I use for our own child. I suggest you read any of this series of books: Parenting with Love and Logic, Discipline with Love and Logic, or Teaching with Love and Logic. They are great reads!!!!