1St pregnancy--TWINS!

Updated on January 18, 2012
K.M. asks from Newburgh, NY
17 answers

Hi Mom! My sister is pregnant for the first time and it's TWINS! Our whole family is over the moon--mostly because she's been trying for years. I have 3 kids, but don't have any experience with twins. What can moms of twins tell me--I'd love to pass on some useful information. She is 37 and the babies were conceived through IVF. Thanks!! (Some helpful things would be: what kind of stroller, car seats, 2 swings?, 2 bouncy chairs?, how many weeks when you delivered, when did you start to get really uncomfortable, etc.)

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P.D.

answers from Detroit on

Proud mama of 4 year old b/g twins reporting. :) Try twinstuff.com. There's a lot of info on the Expecting forum on what to get for two babies. She won't need two of everything, but certainly some! There is also a First Year forum on there and a lot of moms are first time moms on that site. There are different challenges with having two at a time and they know all about it.

Congrats to her! Having twins is awesome and she'll do great. It's a lot of work the first 3 years or so - especially the first two, but she can do it. Mostly, it's helpful if she has supportive family who can help some in the beginning. GL to her!

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

There are mothers of twins clubs everywhere. She can call them and get the inside scoop. Most mothers of twins need someone to come in and clean their house so they can devote all their time to the babies.

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L.*.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations to your sister! I have 5 year old boy/girl twins and I turned 37 two months after they were born and also had IVF. My best advice to her is to let other people help/babysit from the beginning . We didn't and it was really hard. In regards to gear, yes to 2 bouncy seats but for swings , my kids didn't like them so I would say just one until you know for sure. Get 2 jumpy things the exercaucer and maybe the jumperoo to mix it up. She will need a front to back double stroller for shopping etc and a jogging stroller for when they get a litttle bigger for walks, the zoo,etc.
Let them sleep in their cribs from the beginning and feed them at the same time . Change diaper,feed, burp, hold them upright for awhile and back to sleep. Your sister and her hubby should also try to sleep early , like 8 pm just to get enough sleep in before morning. the first month(year) is a blur. Keep a calendar daily for what happened that day . Literally , one line . It will help her remember and kind of closes the day.Have the video camera ready and take a few minutes every day/week. Join a mom of multiples club .It really helps.
Also, just keep trying . If something doesn't work , try something else.Oh, two boppies to lay them down in . Keep a written schedule of feedings and changings because you will forget. Have fun and hold on because it's a fast and exciting ride =)

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

How fun! Congratulations!

Double blessings.
I don't have twins, but your sister will figure it out just like moms of all twins do.
How exciting!

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

I didn't have twins but one piece of advice that I would give is to learn to say yes to people who want to help you and no when you're called upon for help! God bless-this is really sweet!

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H.G.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have twins but im a twin! We are super special :) my mama passed but I do remember her saying she handled us one at a time. Our personalities are different, my sister is laid back and me, not so much. She would feed and handle my impatient butt then my sister. Don't be super woman, laundry can wait and accept help when its offered! As far as the pregnancy, my mom told me she was miserable from 5 months on. Hope not the same for her! If she has girls haley and H. are good names :):):) congrats!!!!

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Congrats to your sister! I have four year old twin girls. The first year was a rollercoaster but it's been fantastic ever since. I'm sending you a PM with a website to check out (not sure if my message will be pulled if I post a link to a competitor site so I figured I'd PM it).

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

scheduals!! and lots of help! swings could be a life saver! britax are the best carseats! theres not much you can do when your large and uncomfy but a good leg foot massage works good!

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D.S.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations to your sister! And then are officially will be an 'Aunt', how wonderful that is with double blessing! My husband and I have gone on 4 years of trying to get pregnant too with clomid, ICSI, and then IVF with egg donor. So, I know what it is like for your sister to go through too.

The 'baby' market has changed so much in the last 5 years since my twins' were born. When I see new strollers for twins I say, How I wish I had that?!

1) They'll be natural at what they do!
2) Keep a note pad to stay on schedule
3) 2 Boppy pillows (are great to use when feeding)
4) Take turns with night schedule (for example; I get up for 2 AM feeding while my husband get up at 4-5 AM and then get ready for work)
5) There no really need to buy TONS of clothes beginning of the first 6 months. That because we brought tons of (gifts) were bibs that my twins' wear all the time so it doesn't get onto their onesies. Because they grow so fast in the first 6 months. We had a couple new cute outfits but they were not out in public the first 6 months because I was in fear of other people / strangers touching my babies.
6) Get those donut holes for bottle fed when they are around 6 months old they will start learning quickly on how to hold their OWN bottles with their hands than most singular babies.
7) I don't know how she would decide but we had the twins' sleeping in the share crib for first 3 months and that when we separate them and learn how to sleep at night for the better
8) Biggest mistake that most mothers do is pick them up when they cry because eventually it'll be a pattern same as rocking chair. We used to just touch their hands give them a gently touch on their face to sooth with music it work for us--may not always work for others?!

We had it very easy than most of my twins' group (I am an organizer for the twins consistent of 38 Mothers). We are really fortunate with that and we never gotten ANY help. It was rough I say but we managed and made it!

The things she will need for now is--

1) Double strollers with infant seats
2) BPA bottles (there are so many out there and its really depends on her twins' with 'nipples'. We tried out 4 different ones and found 1 of them to work for us. Can you imagine twins' are picky on which bottle to use?!
3) Bibs
4) stock up diapers (We love the Pampers for newborn, Stage 1, 2, 3, and then we got the Target brand diapers they work well to save $) doesn't matter just buy them every month and pile them up in the garage/storage.
5) Wipes, Wipes, Wipes
6) A lot of ointments!
7) 2 of the bouncy rockers from F/P (there are so many) but it work for us.

everything else can WAIT and decide which one to get (we never had 2 the same of everything we had 1 extrasaucer and 1 jumperoo (that is a MUST to buy) we had them take turn and they like it..

And lastly I had mine at 37-1/2 week with c-section due to high blood pressure to save me and then had Preeclampsia after the birth almost literally died that day. But I am here and doing well!

PS. I finally FOUND the site that has donut holes (they called it now 'Bottle snuggles') It used to be a ring with hole in the middle with bean but I guess they changed it. Here the site 'www.bottlesnugglers.com' it made our life easier when you are breastfeeding (I couldn't do both at the same time) so I had pump one and use the snugglers for one and then next round it would be my other set of twin to do bottle/alternating it.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I have no experience with twins, but since my kids are only 18 months apart, I did purchase several double strollers. I can tell you that I love love love my Combi Twin Sport. It is a side-by-side, and Graco Snugride carseats do fit in it. What I like about it is - side-by-side instead of tandem, so both kids are the same distance from me, very very light-weight, folds up small enough to fit in the trunk of our car as well as our van. What I don't like is that is has no adult cupholder (you can buy them separately to attach, though) and the sunshades aren't really big enough (this is really a problem for most strollers). Babies R Us sells one, but so does Amazon. Give your sister my best!

Oh, one little addition. I am a baby-wearer, and while it is possible to wear twins, I recommend that your sister look into getting two carriers (one for her and one for Hubby) so that all the stress is not on her. I really love the Beco Gemini - you can check it out (as well as other carriers and even instructions about wearing two babies at once) at http://frogmama.com/

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

We have two sets of twin grandsons. I didn't get to see the first set much as they are out of state but sure did love the time I got to go for a week and stay with them and their 14 month old brother. They were so much fun but they're now teens. Our other set are close so I have been much more involved with them. They were a bit for mom and dad to adjust to at first with a 4 year old brother too but they did great. It was a lot of work but they kept them on the same schedule to feed and that helped out a lot and they tried to sleep them at the same time. They did have 2 swings which helped but actually they don't use those too long if you could borrow one or maybe just get 2. They also had 2 seats but usually one could be in the swing and one in the bouncy seat so if it was me I'd get two swings and maybe one seat. They liked being on the floor together when they were a few months old but you have to watch them as they love to poke eyes, etc. Our daughter in law was full term and our daughter was 36 weeks when delivered. The boys are not at all alike in most areas. I thought twins would be so much alike since they are all identical but the personalities are different. One talks for the other if you don't watch them, they are very close. It's fun having twins and especially for the grandma!! They will need two high chairs when able to eat, and at first they were in the same bed but didn't last too long until in separate beds. I hope your sister does well and will enjoy the babies.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Let her adjust to it all... her and her husband, in their own way.
Being this is her first pregnancy, she may get overwhelmed? And I am sure her Doctor will keep her monitored well.
But yes, wow, how exciting.

I have a friend that had triplets.
My other friend has twins.
Tell your sister... to not be afraid to ask for help... but also do not be afraid to tell people when she just wants to hunker down with only her babies/Husband and that's all. This is what my friend of multiples said. And that is what she had to get used to. The balance between... having everyone over, and then not and not feeling guilty about it.

You will be an Aunty!

Let her ruminate with her Husband about what they want/need. You provide your Mommy experience too.
They will need 2 of mostly... everything.

Tell her to get a Boppy Pillow... for nursing. It is the bomb!
I LOVED mine.

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M.L.

answers from Wichita on

My twins are almost 9 years old and were also conceived through IVF. Here are random thoughts:

*you will hear lots of stories about babies born early. That is no the norm. You can carry your babies to term or close enough. My girls were 2.5 weeks early but we went home after two days.
*A c-section is not a certainty. I have mine vaginally and was so grateful that I didn't have to deal with surgery on-top of having two new babies.
*Bed rest is your friend. I worked up to 32 weeks (I had friends who worked even longer). I was so grateful after the first day of bedrest.
* You can nurse two babies if you want to. It's hard work. I did it for 7 months and I'm not sure I would recommend it. But, if you want to, you can.
*Best advice I got was "Fair is not always equal". Some days, months, years, one baby will need your attention, time, resources more than the other. That's ok. Give each baby what they each need. This is very hard to remember.
*I made sure my girls had exactly the same things. Same toy, same color, same size. Now, at the age of 8 they think everything should be the same and if it isn't, it's not fair.
*You will get lots of advice about names. Ryhming, not ryming. Just do what you like and forget the rest.
*Once the babies become mobile, containment is key! I had two exersaucers, two bouncers, only one swim which was fine, a pack and play in the living room. I even put them in an empty bathtub with bathtub crayons to play. They can get away from you fast :)
*Keep notes. I had a notebook that I wrote when I fed the babies, changed them, what kind of diaper it was, if one got medicine, etc. I remember one day my husband told me one of the babies was hungry. I was so tired I said "I JUST FED HER". We checked the notebook and nope, I had fed the other one.
*take all the help offered. Food is great. Someone to hold the babies while you shower, clean, do laundry.
*Enjoy. Twins are exhausting but they are really special. I was always grateful that I got two for the price of one and I knew my babies would have a sibling!
*I was uncomfortable at about 30 weeks. My ankles swelled. I got a maternity massage at about this time and was so excited to see my ankle bones for a few hours.
*I had one pair of shoes and one pair of pants that fit at 32 weeks. Hope you can wear flip flops!
*I went on bed rest and meds for preterm labor at 32 weeks. Went off the meds at 35 weeks. Delivered at 37.5 weeks.
*I gained 70 pounds. I lost it pretty easily. Must easier than when I had the third baby.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Congrats! I have 2 friends who are twin moms. They joined a twins club in our area. I don't know what twins club you have there, but try googling it and/or check with popular kids places in your area, like a local childrens museum or jumpy/bouncy type place, they may know of a good twins club. I know this was life saving for them. They have made friends for life from it, and had tons of support, plus lots of stuff to swap around, and more.
That's my suggestion...
I am not a twin mom so I don't know much helpful for her.
Other than yay!!!

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J.T.

answers from St. Louis on

Get the stroller that you can click the car seats in at first. After that, there are pros and cons to the tandem vs side by side, so I recommend finding one second hand. You generally only need one of everything. We had our twins the second time around and the only thing we got a second of was a activity center (the thing you plop them in when they are at least ~4 months and they can turn around and play with the toys attached). Oh, and I had 2 Boppys, which was wonderful to prop them both up. I worked full time (office job) until the day my water broke, 5 weeks early (although technically 2 weeks from my scheduled c-section date). Got uncomfortable way earlier than with my singleton. One suggestion is that if she gets a chance to stop working early, do it. I was having contractions but was like, well, I'm just sitting at my desk. But I think I should have been home at least at 34 weeks relaxing. She at least doesn't have a 2 year old to chase around! Put her feet up as much as possible. When they come, keep them on the same schedule. When one wakes to eat, feed them and wake the other. If she's breastfeeding, get the double nursing pillow. Get one off of Craiglist or somewhere other than brand new, they cost a fortune otherwise. At the beginning they slept a lot so I rarely fed them at the same time. Mine are 20 months now and sleep like champions. You will likely need an extra hand when babysitting, at least for the first year or so.
Most states have Mothers of twins or Moms of Multiples clubs. can be a good resource. It's hard but remind her that you should try to start with how you want to keep things (i.e. if you don't want your two year old sleeping with you, keep them in their bassinett/crib instead of your bed). Not saying I never wound up falling asleep in my bed nursing a kiddo but as long as it's not every night, you know...And the biggest advice - it gets better! I thought I was going to lose my mind but the next thing I knew, they were sleeping through the night and napping well (6 months!) And after they can sit up they each have a built-in playmate. Things are different with twins, just be there for her. My friends came over and literally made me nap or get out of the house since I wouldn't ever ask anyone for help. Oh, and coming up with clever comebacks for the 5000 personal and/or stupid questions she's going to be asked will be helpful. This youtube video covers those: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT-lgB_HGEE
Have fun!

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N.F.

answers from St. Louis on

I was in my 40's when I had my twins, they'll be 3 in April. I also had IVF and was considered high-risk since I was over 40 and having multiples. But I went full-term (one weighed 7lb.15oz. and the other was 7lb.6oz!). We got the City mini double stroller and we love it! They are able to lie in it in the beginning and it can fit through a standard door or aisleway. It was expensive, but we've only had this one and didn't have to buy another (actually two family members went in on it from our registry).

I also have one Graco pak n'play w/basinet. I would offer to sell it to her for $50 but I live near St. Louis. Anyway, my FIL made a separate reinforcement board that fits inside the lining so that the basinet would hold the weight of twins. They make pak n'plays for twins but the basinets are such that the twins would be separated and I wanted them to be together. The single basinet pak n'plays like the one that I have would have the twins roll to the center of the basinet because it wasn't holding the weight. If anyone reading this wants it, I only kept them in there for two months and haven't used it since. It looks brand new.

Also, I nursed both of them until 12 months and then weaned them completely at 14 months. I just did them both at the same time (football style). When one was ready, I grabbed the other too. I got strict advice from well-meaners that I should put them on a schedule for feeding but I just couldn't produce enough milk doing it that way. After about 2 months of struggling and almost giving up, I talked with a lactation nurse and decided to just feed them on demand, which turned out to be about every 2 hours. Then my milk was able to make enough that I didn't have to supplement with formula. I did pump too to help it along and the saved milk I froze and used when I started to wean them to whole milk. I never put the whole milk in a bottle, I weaned straight to the sippy cup.

Good luck to your sister. It is a lot of work. I'm a single mom 2 weeks out of every month since my husband works 2 weeks on & 2 weeks off, but there's plenty of joy being with them.

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