1St Business Trip Away from 21-Month-old - How to Make It Easier for All of Us

Updated on April 18, 2009
C.H. asks from Albuquerque, NM
4 answers

Hello mamas - I'm seeking advice from working mamas who have had to take a business trip before their child was 2 years old. I'm only going to be gone for about 36 hours, but I am already worried about how my boy will handle it. He is still nursing, but we have night-weaned him several times (always cave in and go back to night nursing when he gets a cold). We will do it again as soon as his cough is gone. Anyway, my husband is wonderful with him. They adore each other, and DH puts him to sleep about half the time. My worry is that our son won't understand that I am just gone for a little while and will be back very soon. He is so completely happy and secure, I am afraid that he will feel betrayed that I am not there for bedtime two nights. I have ordered this book called "My Mommy's on a Business Trip" but since he is so young, I don't know if he will understand. Does anyone have any ideas on how to make this easier on all three of us? Somehow I think that it will be easiest for our son, next hardest on my husband, and the worst for me.

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answers from Albuquerque on

I'm gonna assume your a first time mama. I had to leave my husband and my childcare business for a week. We don't give men nearly the credit they deserve.

Things will be fine. You'll probably miss your son and cry more for him than he will for you.

If it is important for you that your son can see you, maybe set up a time to set up a webcam and let him chat with you. Most laptops have them built in nowadays. I just called and let my son hear my voice he did great with my husband. My husband went above and beyond taking care of my house and my business.



answers from Phoenix on

I remember taking a few trips away from my kids when they were little (but girl friend get-a-ways, not for business).

Anyway, I made videos of me reading their favorite stories and singing the special lullabye we use as a family. They still have these tapes and once and awhile will play them and laugh at how animated I was reading to them. I would also "talk" to them on the tape...just nonsense stuff like "Are you having fun with daddy? I miss you lots...I will be home soon..."

This was pre-cell phone and video e-mail days. If you are able to video e-mail read to him at night via that route.

Relax, he will be fine (and very exceited to see you when you return!) Come bearing a gift! We always brought our children something when we went away on trips.



answers from Phoenix on

You are absolutely right about it being worst for you, and easiest for you son. I am working mother of three kids, 9 years old, 5 years old, and 15 months. I am in the Army so I have had to leave my kids many, many time more than I even want to count. When I first left my 9 year old he was 9 months old and he survived just fine, but yes it was hard for me, that was for 3 weeks and since then I have left them all for periods of time. Chilren are resilent and they love just the same when you come back. And from what it sounds like he you have an amazing support system with your husband. Good luck with your trip and remember he is in goods hands.



answers from Tucson on

well, it seems you are most worried about the emotional impact your trip will have. i can see that you are a first time mom. i have five, so if i sound harsh, i certainly don't mean to be, but i do have a very different perspective.
first, if your son has been night-weaned, then he certainly will survive while you're gone. it may not be easy for any of you, but you all will survive.
and, this thing about feeling betrayed, he's 21 months old (this is where i may sound harsh. i'm sorry.) he will not feel betrayed. he will not ignore his children because of this. he will not hate you when he's 16 because of this trip. he will hate you for very different reasons. lol.
I know, from experience, as a first time mom, you don't want to do anything to hurt him, but if you and his dad really love him and show it well, he will not suffer because of some minor circumstances. think of this as the beginning of life. in life, we don't get everything we want, when we want it, or how we want it. he will survive, and from your concern, it seems he will do more than survive. he'll thrive!
take this time to work and to relax, if you can. i'm sure you don't get much of that. believe me, you will beg for time alone later.
it's great that you're so concerned about your son, but try to put this into perspective. he's so little, has a dad that loves him, a mom that loves him, and so many bigger problems to come. lol. i'm trying to make you laugh. just don't take everything so seriously, k?

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