19 Month Suddenly Refusing to Sleep in Crib

HI,

Maybe your little guy is just ready to move out of his crib. When my oldest was about 18 months he did the same thing. We moved him into a toddler bed and he did great. They grow up so fast!!!! I hope this helps. Jen

I hate to say it, but if you don't nip it in the bud, it probably won't be a phase. Or it could be a 5-year phase. He's probably just now old enough and aware enough to prefer your company as he falls asleep. Three nights of sleep training/retraining will probably do it. Expect the first two nights to be harsh, but after that he'll be back to normal. I really like Dr. Ferber's book for these types of issues- he's not too harsh, but his approach works. Oh- and I'd avoid changing his room (adding a light, etc. - he's too young to be afraid of the dark, if that's what he's used to)- just keep his pre-bedtime routine consistent and soothing. And don't keep him up until he's overtired-that's when they fight the most.
And regarding the big boy bed- I'd try to keep things the same (i.e. not switch to a bed) for as long as safely possible. 18 months would be oftly young to have the self-control to choose bed over playing. Good luck!
-A.

My son is 2 years old and sometimes when he was that age he wouldn't go to sleep in his bed either. He would stay up and scream and I also had to do the put him in bed with me and then move him when he was in a deep sleep. Do you have a routine with him for bedtime like give him a bath,read to him,bedtime b.c if u don't maybe that's the problem or he might be scared of something in his room.

It could be a phase thing. Is he teething or do you suspect an ear infection? Once you rule those things out, it could just be a separation anxiety type thing. As they get older they are figuring things out and they develop new fears and worries because of this maturity. I would try a night light, some soothing music, a nice bedtime story and maybe something you have recently worn like a t-shirt in his crib. Sometimes a little extra comforting can get them through this stage and then you are on to another one. Both of mine love their blankets from when they were babies. My son is 3 1/2 and my daughter will be 2 in September. It is awful when they are screaming and your heart almost leaves your body as you try to wait it out. Good luck!

Sometimes kids go through another phase of separation anxiety around 18 months old. Perhaps this is what's going on? Does he go down during the day for a nap in his crib allright? If he does, he might have learned that if he cries at night, mom or dad come to save him. Kids this age can cry up to an hour, and still be OK. If he cries that long one night before going to sleep, the next night, it should only be 30 minutes, then 15 the next night, etc. If you're adamant about him not sleeping in your bed, I would go ahead and put him in his bed and just let him cry it out. While one of the most difficult things to do, it's the best thing for him. Kids are smart and learn very quickly how to manipulate Mom and Dad. Good luck, and hang in there!! The toddler stage is when parenting really gets tough.

A couple months ago, I have went through a similar deal with my daughter. She was 18 months at the time. She just outgrew the crib. It was time to upgrade her from the crib to the big girl bed. We have a full size bed that we took off the frame, headboard and footboard. We put the mattress and box spring on the floor. She does great with that. This is just a suggestion. Your son might have outgrown the crib mentally. My daughter did the same exact thing that your son is doing. I hope this helps.

Good Luck. D.

When a child cries it is because something is wrong. The worst thing you can do is change their world as I am sure some would suggest. So I would not recommend changing him to a toddler bed if something is wrong.

Have you tried asking him what is wrong? My boys were pretty well able to convey things like that at that age and you can pick up on even non-verbals if he isn't saying a lot yet.

You may want to ask yourself some things. Has anything changed for him. New baby sitter? Has Mom or dad recently had to go on a trip? Has he recently been on a trip? Has he just started something new in his diet? Has he recently had a shot? A round of antibiotics or other meds either over the counter or pharma? Could he possible be cutting a molar? Those can hurt not only the jaw and gum but also the ear. Does he have an ear infection? Does he seem congested or have a runny nose? If so does it have color? If so what color (clear, green, yellow, white)?

If he has no changes and nothing is hurting, or even if he is hurting, Sit down with him in his room before bed. Offer him lots of hugs and tell him about all the great things that happened in the day asking him if he liked it or had fun and offer him the chance to respond. Turn off the lights in his room and look out the window. Show him how dark it is and tell him the sun went to bed (perhaps show him the sun in the daytime first and tell him how it is bright and yellow/orange and hot and the sun is awake so he understand the contrast). Tell him it is time for him to go in his bed and sleep like the sun. Tell him you will see him when the sun wakes up and will smile and give him a great big good morning hug. Before you put him in his bed take audible deep belly breaths and as you blow them out sigh gently. If you can do it while he sits on your lap facing out and with your right hand over his belly button and left hand placed where his sternum ends... Rub with your right hand in a clockwise circular motion for a few seconds, then stop and keep your hand still while you rub your left hand in clockwise circular motions. Repeat that a few times until you sense he has begun to relax. Then place him in his bed and tell him goodnight. Good luck, good night and God Bless!!!

B. :)

i suggest you take him shopping for a big boy bed, let him pick it out. this will make him feel special.

I feel your pain, I was going thru the same thing with my 17 month old son when he was sick he just wanted to be with me, and he would fall asleep in my arms and I would put him to bed and 2hrs later he was awake and wanting me, I just chalked it up to him being sick and didnt want to be alone, so I slept with him in our sparebedroom until he was better, well he kept doing it so one night while he was in his crib he woke again crying so I went in and comforted him and was just so agaitated I was so tired and just wanted him to stay in his crib and sleep, I didnt want to get in the habit of my son sleeping with me. I just took off the nightshirt I was wearing, just had put it on and had it on an hr laid it in the crib next to him and he stayed asleep the rest of the night, the nightshirt is still in his crib and he has been sleeping great, every night I put my son to sleep I just touch the shirt to my neck area and lay it next to him, its like Im sleeping with him, I just figured he could smell that mommy scent and it made him happy.

Good Luck hope it works

G.