19 Month Old NEVER Wakes up Happy. Not from the Day He Was Born!

Updated on July 10, 2009
M.T. asks from Peabody, MA
18 answers

I just assume that it's a "personality trait", but I figured it can't hurt to ask... my adorable 19-month old son goes to bed without a problem, takes his naps without a problem... BUT, when he wakes up - OH MY GOODNESS he is a BEAR! As soon as he wakes up he just starts whining. It will continue to get louder until I go in and get him. Therefore, I go in almost right away. He'll only let ME get him out of the crib - not a fan of daddy in the morning or after a nap for some reason... I think its because I have a more soothing/quiet voice. He just insists on having me there no matter what. In the morning, after I get him out of the crib, he's just whiny, and cranky, and you cannot look at him the wrong way or he just cries and screams. He has to have his juice, and his little snack cup of cereal in front of the TV with his blanket - then he's quiet and content and after about a 1/2 hour, he snaps out of it and acts like the fun-loving son I know and love :-) After his nap (he has 1 nap a day, for about an hour to an hour and a half), he is the worst ever. He screams and cries as soon as he wakes up, then insists on being held and walked around like he was an infant. It takes about a 1/2 hour for him to snap out of it. If I try to put him down, he absolutely freaks. Sometimes, even when I'm holding him, he screams and cries inconsolably for about 10 to 15 minutes! It's been like this or similar to this since the day he was born! He has never ever woken up happy. Just once I'd love to hear him wake up by calling "mommy" or something... that would be sweet...but it doesn't look like that's ever going to happen.

Is there anything I can do about this? Could there be something I'm missing? He not only does it to me, but he does it to my MIL who watches him a couple days a week, as well as my in-home daycare woman who watches him twice a week.

Please note that it's not teething. It's definitely worse when he is teething, but he does this no matter what's going on.

Am I the only one with a cranky toddler every morning and every after-nap time???

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So What Happened?

Hmmm... everyone has given me some things to think about. I'm wondering if he's getting enough sleep in general? He sleeps from 8pm to 6am and then has at least an hour nap during the day - sometimes an hour and a half... and once in a blue moon, he'll have a 2 hour nap. So that's anywhere from 11 hours to 13 hours of sleep in total.... is that enough for a 19-month old?

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

If he has to have a drink and a snack before he settles I would think its something to do w/ his sugar dropping while he's sleeping. People low blood sugar seem to get very very very grumpy.

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J.H.

answers from Providence on

wow, sounds JUST like my son (who is 16mths). i personally think it's his personality. hopefully he will grow out of it...soon. that's what i hope anyway. you're not alone!

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N.S.

answers from Boston on

My son just turned two and still gets up unhappy sometimes. He is way better from when he was younger. He seems to be coming around & actual enjoys being cuddled. There was no reason (that I could fing) why but he'd always wake up cranky. I felt bad when he was little because I could not comfort him. I always got annoyed that it seemed he woke up in worse mood then he went down. I know that this may not be helpful, but I don't think it's something to be alarmed about. In my opinion though it never hurts to mention things at the next Dr.'s apt.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

My son acts like that when he hasn't slept long enough, but that has only happened a couple of times (like the other day, I think I got him out of bed when he was having just a dream, I thought he was waking up). He is now two years old and sleeps from 9pm to 8am and then takes a long nap in the afternoon, usually from 1:30 to 3:30 or 4:30. Today he went down at 1:30 talked in his bed until almost 3 and slept until 6:00. He was worn out from a big day yesterday. Perhaps your son isn't sleeping long enough. Sometimes I hear my son after and hour and know that he needs to go back to sleep and he usually falls back to sleep for a longer nap.

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M.G.

answers from Boston on

Same for me (as prior response). If my son has not napped long enough he wakes up cranky. I toss him a milk bottle wherever he's napping, usually in the car (monitor on) and then he drinks it., finishes napping and then he's happy as can be when he has slept enough! :) 1 to 1 &1/2 hours for nap seems kind of short. 2 hours seems more appropriate for your son's age. Best of luck.

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E.B.

answers from Boston on

He may have some irritation to his nervous system. I treated a family with twins and the little boy was not normally a happy camper while his twin sister was the happy one. After on or two adjustments, the little boy was smiling most of the time too. Whenever he would become cranky again, his mother would bring him in, and sure enough, I would find some areas of his spine needing help. After an adjustment, he would be waking smiling again. You might want to find a family or pediatric chiropractor near you to see if that helps.

Another consideration is that he might be getting nightmares which occur with low B vitamin levels. You could find a liquid children's vitamin and give him some vitamin drops which might calm that. The B's are also good for children's brain development.

Dr. E

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S.F.

answers from Boston on

My daughter used to be the same way. I think some babies are just like that. I even remember one friend, whose child was slightly younger than mine, asking me "Do all babies wake up crying all the time?" Many just do. It didn't matter what method I used to wake her up or get her out of her crib. It wasn't the amount of sleep, or if I woke her or if she woke on her own. Both kids (hers and mine) outgrew it. Good luck!

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K.E.

answers from Boston on

My younger son (18 months) behaves similarly, especially after naptime. He doesn't show a preference for who gets him up, but he's definitely in a foul mood, and sometimes after his nap he'll just cry for no apparent reason for 15 minutes! He's got to get all his stuffed animals and his water bottle from his crib and carry them downstairs, and he does need to be carried, and then he needs to sit on my lap and wake up for a while. It's not lack of sleep -- he naps for 2-4 hours, which should be plenty.

My older son (3) is not cranky when he wakes up unless I wake him up or go to get him too soon. He requires (like my husband) some time to be ready to get out of bed. It's helpful for both of my kids if I put one or two safe toys (cars, trucks, trains, and sturdy books work well) in the crib or bed with them so they can play a bit after they wake up. I don't get them out of bed until they cry or call for me. This is more successful with my older son than with my younger son, who it seems is determined to be cranky no matter what, but the toys still do make things better. It might be worth a try.

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K.P.

answers from Providence on

Our son was just like that. He would scream and refuse to get out of the crib if Dad went in to get him. He would be cranky for 30-60 minutes after waking and wanted to be held or snuggled a lot of the time. Other times during the day he was confident, happy and social. He's 4 now and has completely grown out of it. I don't think it was anything we did. It just seemed to be his personality as a baby. I think a 19 month old should be getting around 13 hours of sleep and if he's happy and easy-going during the day, I would think your son is getting enough.

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K.K.

answers from Boston on

My son did the same thing and grew out of it. He's 4 now and wakes up, opens the door and comes to find us with a big smile on his face. My daughter is 2, and wakes up cranky as well. I stopped giving her naps just over 2 because of how difficult nap time was, and we put her down no later then 7:00 now because of the no nap thing. And she now wakes up at 6:00, and yells at the door. I think that once she can open the door she'll be a happier little one as well. Maybe your guy doesn't like being confined in the crib, and you not being there. If he's not teething, then I don't know the solution.
The other problem we had for a little while is that my kids tend to wake up crankier when they don't finish their dinner the night before. And they don't eat well at night if I feed them to late. It's a "catch 22", and was very difficult when I was working full time outside the house.
I think he'll grow out of it. But am curious to hear what other people are saying.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

M., here's my experience with something quite similar with my son. He always woke up crying in the morning and from naps. The pediatrician kept saying that's just his disposition. Intuitively, this didn't seem right to me. So, when he was 2 yrs. old he woke up with a swollen knee and that's when we found out he had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. The most painful part of the day for people with JRA is when they first wake up whether it be in the morning or from a nap. But once they move around a bit it gets better. I remember he used to want me to hold him a lot even though he could walk. It's been 7 years now but what I remember is that the pedi can do a blood panel to see if the markers for RA are there or send you to a specialist. Bottom line -- if it's not just a personality thing then maybe he's in some kind of discomfort. Best wishes, R. K

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

Yes it might be that he's not getting enough sleep in general. GOod sleep begets good sleep, which is counterintuitive. My little one is 22 months and she sleeps about 8pm-8am and then has 2-3 hr nap during the day. So she's on a good 14-15 hrs and if she gets less you can definitely tell - she's not herself. And if it was a couple days in a row it really makes a difference.

Also, I do what other moms said - I've got all sorts of stuff in her crib and let her play there awhile before I go get her - sometimes an hour in the Am and half an hour after her nap. SHe reads her books, plays with her stuffed animals and blanket, talks to the room, the fan, the chair, you name it.

I am not saying any of that would work for you, but I think you are on to something thinking he doesn't get enough sleep. Of course I have no idea how you can get him to sleep more.

Good luck!!

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C.D.

answers from Boston on

My son is the same way. Normally it takes about 45 minutes to get him out of his bad mood. I do leave two safe toys in his crib (sometimes that helps--more in the morning than waking up from a nap). I bring in a sippy cup when I get him so he can have a drink. Then we just play quietly on the floor or read books. It takes quite a lot of TLC for a solid 15-30 minutes at least to get him back to his normal self. But his crankiness sticks around for a while afterward.

Also he prefers when I get him from his crib but I make him deal with my husband too. He was fussy and called for me initially but he's learned now that Daddy can play and give him what he needs too. He still prefers me but he now accepts if Daddy comes to get him too.

I just imagine what he'll be like as a grumpy teenager waking up!! Oh man!

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T.H.

answers from Boston on

My son is doing this right now. I think it's teething for him, though, he's usually a peach when he is able to wake up slowly in his crib.

However, BOTH my 5 year-old and my 17 month-old wake up like cranky bears when they are thirsty. I try to make sure they have a good drink of water before they nap (unless potty training gets in the way) and when they do wake up cranky a cup of water is usually all they need to snap out of it.

I don't know if that advice will help you, but I would encourage you to try to let your husband or someone else get him up from nap/morning waking whenyou can. He won't be happy about it, but hopefully will learn to realize that mommy isn't always able to drop everything and come running. He's old enough to know that he's not being abandoned, and certainly old enough to have YOU trained!

Good luck!

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R.T.

answers from Boston on

My 25 mo daughter is the same way. Goes to bed happy, is cheerful all day, rarely a problem. But she is a whiny crank in the morning. Every day. We had a month at around age 23 months where she woke up content, but it didn't last. For her naps, she's not as cranky for as long, maybe 5 minutes or so. But she just doesn't do well with that transition.

But I'm not a morning person either!

One thing that has helped is that she recovers faster if I wake her up, rather than if she wakes on her own. Either way, I have to take 10-15 minutes to sit with her until she cheers up.

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S.S.

answers from Boston on

Any chance he's got a big appetite and it hungry or thirsty? The consistency of it suggests it couldn't be that simple, but it's worth an ask.

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K.M.

answers from Raleigh on

M.,
I have a 2.8 year old and he is similar. If I wake him up in the morning or from a nap he is so cranky. He acts just as you described your son. He wants to be held etc.
THese days he wakes up before me in the mornings and is usually delightful. It seems when he wakes up on his own he is less cranky. Also, he has dropped his nap. When he does nap he is very cranky afterwards even if he wakes up on his own. I find if I have a plan, an actiity out of the house he transitions better. I put him in the car with a snack and drink and go somewhere - the park, gym, etc.. or even on a walk in the stroller...
I think it is a personality trait. I also think talking to your pediditrican is good. They will probably have a sleep doctor you could see if it is a real concern. I would ask them and meet with a doctor. I think these little guys have trouble knowing what to do and need direction to distract them.
K.

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L.S.

answers from Hartford on

I just wanted to commersiate. I had to stop giving my daughter naps at about 15 months because she would just wake up HORRIBLE! It wasn't worth her going to sleep for that hour! She is now a little over two and i put her to sleep at about 6-7pm and she will sleep till 7am. (i also have two other young childrn who nevre had this problem)

I wish i could help... I will be interested in hearing what others have to say.

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