19 Month Old Driving Me Crazy

Has his situation (daycare, nanny) changed? If so he may just be checking to see what he can get away with. Mine bites and she is 2 1/2. We are moving, so she is a bit naughty with her temper. I picked up a book, Happiest Toddler on the Block, it has some interesting tips. Mirroring the child's feelings and such. Sometimes it's hard to remember that. I personally like Dr. Phill's approach, privilages taken when naughty. Spanking is last resort. When I was a nanny we would do a game, we would be in a store and I would tell each boy, "Hands on you head or in your pockets." If they were good, they got a privledge. (Normally it would be going out to eat or something, my treat) Well good luck, Jen

I know I am late in the game, however I agree with Ciaren. Sounds like her and I come from the same school. Yes he's young and yes it's just a stage. However, he's just testing his boundaries with you. It also looks like you have your hands full and "he" knows it. Hold your ground, your in charge not the other way around. As for conduct in public, I always found a good pinch in the thigh always got his attn and let him know I mean business. I don't now about your beliefs but I find PRAYER is the best coping mechanism. I pray for patience all the time and you know what he provides it. Best of luck to you!!

my son is going to be 3 years old in august and i have the same problem, he;s really hiper and he like to hit my husband my daughter and me, when we go out and we dont buy him what he want he starts screaming!!!
i know how you must feel, i try to teach him that is not ok to do does things, maybe if you give him time outs or take away the tv he will learn

No, it doesn't stop just yet, My son is two and he is still trying me. But as I am told they get better after the age of 5. So I'm told. Right now mine is moving furniture around the house testing muscles. He needs to be challenged more. I enrolled my son at montesorri<sp?> school and he loves it. Come to find out the little man is pretty smart just tests me when he is bored.

Ok- I have to say sorry because you aren't going to like that I am gonna tell you it won't end for a while LOL. Mine is 2 and she's still at it. However, some things that our pediatrician suggested to us have worked wonders- though she still has her moments.

First, they are testing boundaries and limits, not deliberately trying to hurt or disobey us. So, what is important is that we don't give them any kind of major reaction to something we don't want them to continue doing. For hitting or biting and such- look him in the eye and firmly say no. If you are holding him, put him down and walk away. If you aren't holding him, just walk away. That pretty much can apply to anything he's doing that you don't want him to. Time outs work for my duaghter for the most part, but I do think that it's hard for a child under 2 to "get it" because Leah didn't really see the point or reason for the time outs for a little while. Most important is to keep at it and be consistent. If you don't want him hitting the cat (or whatever) don't say no sometimes and laugh the next time.

Hi L.,
My name is kathy; and I raised my son alone, and now my 2 nices; and all 3 of them went thru this stage! (hated the smiles while I was trying to stop them from doing this) But it IS a stage. On all 3, I finally hit back, right where they hit on me. Not hard, mind you- but enough to let them know. All 3 didn't like it-so they stopped. I also explained to them, as we went thru this "hitting", how it does NOT tickle- but hurts- and they finally knew what I meant. Same with saying words that hurt. My nice (6) says alot of hurtful things to people. So now, I have to get her to realize how words can hurt people, and her too. Ex.: at Drs. she asked the Dr. why he "talked" like that? So I asked her why she talks like she does? Then I asked her if I hurt her feelings, of course she said yes, so I re--explained how words can hurt people too. To watch what she says to others. We are going thru the whole "poopy-head, ect phase, but she is now learning that it can hurt some-ones feelings. So she is catching herself a lot these days. Phases, they do out grow with proper guidance & encouragement! My son is now a U.S. Marine & my girls will grow up to be "complete" women as well. as I am sure your children will be. It is true- experience is the best teacher sometimes-even on the hard & hurtful stuff in our lives. May God guide & bless you & your family-always...

L. D- you're living my life!! =) I have a 22-month old son who is a first-class hitter. He even hit his teacher the other day at his Mom's Morning Out preschool program. (I was so proud.) When people tell him how cute he is at the grocery store, he responds by slapping me. Like you, I've tried time-out, but for some reason he finds it hilarious and giggles until he's finished. I've tried holding his hands in mine, getting down to his level, looking him right in the eyes, and saying, "No hitting", but he usually finds high humor in that, too- or else he gets aggravated and hits me again as soon as his hands are free. The thing that's worked the best for me is to pretend he's trying to give me a high five, even though he clearly isn't. I'll say, "High five!" and put my palm out to him, and he'll usually grin and start slapping my palm. This usually distracts him from hitting. Sometimes I even do this rhyme I learned from my seven-year-olds when I was a summer camp counselor in college: "Slap me five, other side, in the jelly (act like you're holding a jar of jelly)... GOT YOUR BELLY!!" Then tickle his belly. He'll start to anticipate the tickling and focus on that. Usually a few rounds of that distracts my son from the hitting. Another trick I try is "Creepmouse", which my nana used to do when we were little. You make your fingers creep along his little body like a little mouse, starting with the toes and creeping up the leg, side, shoulder, and landing on that ticklish spot behind the ear and along the nape of the neck. While you're doing it, you whisper, "Creeeeep-mouse, creeeeep-mouse... all the way up to (your son's name)'s house!" End with a tickle under the ear and at the nape of the neck. My son is an absolute wild man, but he will totally freeze up and stay completely still for "Creepmouse." He anticipates the tickling, and the gentle creeping makes little goosebumps come up on his legs. He has a huge smile on the whole time! Even after he bursts into giggles from the tickling, he'll get all calm and quiet again, waiting for the next round. Amazingly, "Creepmouse" will usually distract my son from hitting and many other bad things he's trying to do. It also works wonders on the changing table or when I'm trying to buckle my son into his car or booster seat and he's resisting like mad. After I do it once, he'll usually whisper, "'Reepmouse" so I'll do it again. I know I need to reinforce that hitting is bad, but he finds all manner of discipline hysterical and it seems to encourage him at this point. So until he can reason and verbalize more effectively, distraction works best for me. I can still do the time-outs at home, but out in public I always rely on distractions. By the way, I'm also a teacher (though I'm taking some time off right now) and I also have two little boys- my other son is three months. My older son's hitting and misbehavior intensified when we brought home the new baby- I don't know if you experienced that or not. My e-mail is ____@____.com if you ever want to discuss the perils (and joys) of having two very little boys. =)

B.

Eventually -- yes -- it will end. you just have to be consistent about the "no hitting" and the time-outs (yes, even in public -- a little kid can have time out on a chair -- a bench --and air conditioned car with you there or right outside the door.....and you keep redirecting them until the 1 1/2 minutes are up (the longest of YOUR life). Finally, just when you think your patience is up, they will show that they understand......just don't resort to spanking -- that will confuse them and shame them.....doesn't teach them one thing but makes some parents feel better. At this age, they are looking for your reaction to whatever they are doing. My son is just over the 2 1/2 mark, and he is doing really well (now). We never thought we'd get a break. (We have a 6,4,& 2 year old.) Boys are certainly different - but all kids need love, attention, patience and time to grow & learn. You'd be amazed -- our 6 & 4 year old are actually soo much fun now & our 2 year old too -- but there are times..............(When I am really weary, I think about dancing at their weddings -- and saying what all older parents say, "just yesterday they were in diapers.") Time really does fly by -- unless you have a 19 month old who hits!