18 Year Old Reading 50 Shades

Updated on June 29, 2012
K.D. asks from Fond du Lac, WI
31 answers

Hello all,

My co-worker just mentioned that someone had lent her 18 year old daughter the 50 Shades book. She heard me saying I had read it and asked me what it was about and if I thought it was appropriate for her daughter. I said I didn't think so but am curious to what you all would say.

She then asked me what I would do in her place? Any advice. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Ok, ok. I agree with you all-18 is an adult but I am just glad I didn't give her the book. Her mother is pretty mild and the daughter just got her first boyfriend a little bit ago. I asked the mom if she knew what BDSM meant and she had no clue. I'm sure she sees her daughter as very innocent and that may or may not be the case.
I like the opinion of reading the mom reading it and being there to discuss it if the daughter wants to.
Thanks all.

Featured Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

She's eighteen. She's way beyond doing only what her mother finds "appropriate" LOL!!!
She's an adult, she can (and should) read what she wants to read. There's nothing anyone can do about that!

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Nothing she can do. Her gal is 18. Perhaps her mother should read the book herself and open up a dialogue about what is "usual" practice in regards to sex and what is written in a book to make money.

Considering what I've read here for the past month or so about the bad writing, I'm laughing at what Jo said!!

Dawn

6 moms found this helpful

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

You would be quite shocked to know what I was reading at 16, 17, 18 ... ah the joys of summertime trips to the library without my parents ;)

6 moms found this helpful

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Oh my god, an 18 year old could write that book and probably do it better if they don't use text speak.

11 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Eeeek - and 18 year adult reading a risque book?!?

A scarlet letter should be made for her!

:)

Obviously I don't really see a problem with it - just making bad "dad" jokes. :)

9 moms found this helpful

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

I wish I could say that as an 18 year old, the worst trouble I got into was pulp fiction. It took a bit more than cheesy erotica to satiate my curiosity. Tee hee hee.

As an adult, her daughter should get to decide what is and is not appropriate for her own self.

On the other hand, I fall down on the floor and pretend to be choking whenever my mom mentions HER sex life. So I guess mature mother-daughter relationships are not my forte. ;-)

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

She's 18 - she has probably done worse than read a risque book at this point. I dont think Mom should get involved in this one.

6 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Redding on

haha, I remember reading those little, risque, paperbacks while babysitting kids (after they were asleep).... the people I worked for kept them on a bookshelf in their livingroom and one caught my eye one day and then I was hooked. And THOSE were rawnchy books!
I havent read 50 shades yet, but I bet it doesnt hold a candle to the smut I read at 15 and 16.
My mom had a copy of the controversial, for it's time, book called "The Joy of Sex"... I read that at 16 too. I think it helped me be informed and nothing more. It didnt turn me into a nypmpho or a prude, I'd call myself pretty normal. So, no harm done.

6 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Why on earth does an 18 year old need to read such a book? Heck, I'm 30 and I still don't feel the need to read it.

Really, sex should still be so new (or not even experienced yet) to an 18 year old that they shouldn't feel the need to spice it up yet.

ETA: That is not to say that I don't think she has the right to read it. I just find it kinda sad that we set such a low bar for our young adults that we expect them to be drawn to sex and not expect them to have self control.

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

I don't censor what my kids read, period. There's a copy of Wifey sitting on one of my many booksheves mixed in with some kids' books right now. I've never understood what it is about the written word that gets people so upset. But then, I started reading erotica when I was a teenager in my sister's Playgirl magazines. Yup, people have sex, often times there's spanking, sometimes more. Welcome to the adult world :D

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

An 18 year old is an adult who can decide for themselves what they will and will not read. It is silly to even think about telling a person of 18 they can not read something because it is sexual in nature.

and for those that say that sex should still be brand new to an 18 year old, most people I know started having sex between the ages of 13-15, so my 18 they were pretty well versed, lol

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I haven't read them yet, but I don't see anything wrong with it. I remember reading Forever by Judy Blume at 16 and that was pretty darn risque. 18 is an adult and able to make her own decisions as to what she reads.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

She's an adult. Totally up to her if it's okay to read or not, unless her parents still have a hold on her and tell her no. But, telling an 18 year old "no" is only going to make them find some way to do it anyways.

While I don't think it's necessary for an 18 year old to read that series, it's not the end of the world either. It's reading it, not doing it.

3 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

She's 18, doesn't matter what I would do.

But I censor so things per what I think is right not what others think is right. But then I do so little censoring. People have sex, people talk about sex, they have sex many different ways. It's natural, it's not a subject I'm uncomfortable with, I was reading erotica in high school...didn't make me run out and have sex!

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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

She's 18 and an adult so she can do what she wants. I know a fifteen year old who read it.

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S.W.

answers from Shreveport on

I have to agree with the others at 18 who cares.
I grew up being allowed to read whatever I could get my hands on when it comes to books. I read the Claiming of Beauty series at 16 and trust me they bury 50 shades. I started reading 50 shades after all the hype and can say thankfully I didn't waste any money on them.

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M.R.

answers from Dallas on

18? That's an adult. Maybe it'll teach her a thing or two about good sex!
;)

3 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

18 is an adult, right?

I see nothing wrong with an 18y/o reading the book(s)...and I have read all 3 of them.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

18? seriously?
i first read 'sweet savage love' when i was about 14. my grandmother lent it to me.
:/
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful

F.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I'd probably read it WITH my daughter (since she's 18 and already been given the book) and talk to her about it.

Or I'd say to my 18 yr old "I heard that book is kind of racy/sexual. Are you sure you want to read that? You know it's fiction right? I am going to read it too. Let's talk about anything you want to talk about with it."

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Well, at 18 she's an adult and can do as she pleases. I don't know what kind of advice I would give, it depends on how "experienced" the 18 yo is. If she's VERY experienced, then 50 shades is nothing new so no big deal. It also depends on what kind of relationship she has with her daughter. There are a ton of books that have hot sex scenes in them. Its hard to answer this without knowing more about both the mom and the daughter. Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I did not read it. I would probably answer honestly with my opionion (tell her it was erotica). However, her daughter is an adult. As an adult, can't she pick out her own books?

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I wouldn't, but only because it's crappy writing and I encourage my daughter to read things that are well-written.

I would be equally disappointed if she read and enjoyed Twilight.

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L.P.

answers from Tyler on

It's a book, and think about movies (Friends with Benefits as one example) that 18 yr olds watch without a second thought. I have read the books, and once you get past the shocking contract stuff in the first book, Ana really holds her own. Sure, there is a lot of sex in all three books, a ridiculous and unnecessary amount of sex. But, if all the SAHM's in america are reading this, we really have no right to say any other legal adult doesn't have the right. Look at it as a conversation starter...."you would NEVER let anyone do that to you, right??"

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I've read the trilogy and I don't see what the big deal is. I wouldn't have a problem with 16 yr old reading them either.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I read my first erotica novel at 14 years old. I don't really censor what my kids read. They choose what they want to read. If it's erotic it's ok with me. It's just sex. Better than some of Steven Kings stuff (for example) that is gory, bloody and violent. But even that's ok with me. They understand what the word "fiction" means.

Edited to add: Queen ... NONE of us said they should be DOING it (although a large majority of kids have already had sex by the time they reach 18). Reading and doing are two VERY different things. And not everyone who has read the 50 Shades book is doing it to "spice up" their sexual relationship.

I read it because a friend of mine read it whose opinion on books I trust. We DID NOT agree on this particular book LOL And she had it and let me borrow it so I didn't have to waste my money on it (I probably would have demanded a refund if I had bought it). I wanted to see what all the hype was about.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

She's 18. What CAN she do??

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J.S.

answers from Tampa on

At 18 she is legally an adult, so there isn't any way to tell her not to read the books. My own almost 19 yr old daughter told ME not to read the books, actually pleaded with me not to read the books, when I asked her if she had heard of them, which she had but had not read them, and then she began to tell me a bit about what she knew. She thought the things described in all 3 of the books were quite disturbing, and had no interest in reading about them. (even cuter she wanted to protect ME from it all) We have always had a very open relationship, although I do refrain from going into details about my own intimate life unless asked to protect my daughters. I guess if it were MY 18 yr old, I would just ask if they realized what they were about to read so they were not shocked, and they let them know if they wanted to talk about anything afterward I was there. Also, I would let her know that this was written as every "fantasy" of the author, and not as the daily "normal" sex life of an everyday woman. (kind of odd if you ask me) IMO. My older daughter who is 22 has read it, and didn't care for it at all. We, my hubby and I, just sent her a stripper for her 22nd birthday while she was at college. I say that because I don't want anyone to think I am "prudish" in any way. I just don't get the whole 50 shades thing. It all seems so dangerous and cruel. Oh well, to each their own.

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

18 is an adult and free to do as they please.

1 mom found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

I must be ought of the loop (well, duh, I knew that already) because I have no idea what you're talking about. However, books I was reading when I was 9 and 10 had explicit content, and by the time I was 12 or so I had read several erotic books and worse.

Would I let my OWN 10 year old read something like that? No...but you're asking about an 18 year old. Technically, an adult. They probably have seen/heard/know about/already have done most of what they're going to read about. Sad, really, but that's life in today's world.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

This came up at dinner last night with my daughter as well. She mentioned that many of her friends are reading them and all I had to contribute were the poor reviews of the writing that I read here (and the tampon situation). That would probably drive her crazy.

We are fortunately very open with one another and I'm sure she wouldn't wilt if she read them (turned 19 TODAY!!). Heck, the reason I was over an hour late leaving for dinner last night is that I was detained at a client helping them determine if they could use an atypical Herpes testing collection swab. Dinner conversation for us.

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