18, Still Just a Number? or Instant Adult?

18 is just a number, however it is also known as a legal age and average age of graduation. Also as an age of a young adult. You are his mother and of course you want what is best for him and he being the oldest of four he sort of sets the pace for the younger children. I think a summer job is a great
place for young adults to begin their work history. Then if his grades are held up in the fall part time after school might even be ok. I think he should have some freedom to make
the decision on his own. I've learned the hardest part of parenting in my opinion is letting our children make their own
mistakes, but it is neccessary for them to live their own lives at a certain point, we have to just step back alittle and let them makes their own decisions. I too was a young single mom and I think I did a fine job raising my kids. I don't think children of any age should be pressured too much
about anything, but more like encouraged and left to make their own choices, that's what life is all about, making choices, and living and learning from the consequences. Just
stay close to your children and love them unconditionally and
be there for them to come to no matter what!!

My youngest child (now 19 y/o) didn't get his license until he was 18, he worked for a local farmer hauling hay, the farmer came and picked him up and we would come get him after work. Because the drive was less than 5 miles we didn't change him gas money. He saved his money for 2 years and took some of his grad money to buy an older car for $500.00. He took great care of the car because he bought it.
If his father wants to help; have him encourage your son to complete high school and do his best, life isn't going to get easier. My son's dad was MIA for the past 10 years and never chimed in about anything just paid his support and that was his decision. His dad could take him away for a few hours and get him driving experience, as a reward for completing assaignments or passing a class.
Just because a person turns 18 doesn't make him an instant adult. I believe they need to be guided and treated with respect but respect is something earned not given as a gift.
When he graduates he'll have such a sense of pride and you'll know he earned it. Even with the hardships, 10 years from now no one will remember if he had a license or not, friends will know if he graduated with them or not.
Hoping this helps you,
D.

Hi M.,
Congrats to you for your efforts.
18 is just a number! And guidelines need to be set now with the first one because you have 3 more coming close on his heels.
What guidelines? You decide: school is first and foremost the most important. It does not matter what others say.
Driving is a priveledge that has to be earned. If the oldest goofed off for two years, then driving may have to wait an extra 2 years too. That doesn't mean that none of your others wonn't be able to drive earlier though. Maybe, another will be able to handle school, job, driving, responsibility, etc...much better.
When I had my 4, I also was a single mom, but my oldest was dedicated in school and extra curricular activities, and all 4 were in scouts. She got her license right away and helped with driving the others. Yes there was a cost, but worth it for me. She also had an accident and wrecked the van (lucky for me, it needed to be replaced and she wasn't hurt).
When the step children came into the picture, two didn't want to place school first so they had to do the car thing by themselves.
Now we have 4 grandchildren, the oldest being 16. She does not do well in school and is not responsible for chores (and does not have good, basic common sense), she understands she won't be driving until she is on her own. She does save her earned money to purchase her own car later.
Good luck!

I think it's great that you have him focusing on his education and finishing, no matter what. I have mixed feelings about the job. I think that it teaches a lot of discipline and time management skills. I guess it also depends on what kind of student he is and how long it takes him to do his work. I don't think that you should feel obligated to buy him a car or loan him money for one. I used my parent's car at their convenience. I don't think that he needs to get a job and start paying you rent or anything, simply because he's 18. You're right, He has his whole life to work. A part time job may help ease him into that world though and teach him time management, money management, etc. Having some extra cash might help with self esteem too. That he earned that money and he was able to get the extras on his own, including the road test. :)

Good luck.