18 Month Old Sleep Problems and 4 Month Old Too!

I attatchment parent, too. It can be very difficult when they are that close. To me it sounds like your oldest is in need of some one on one time and has found a way to get it. Make sure you spend some time with just him (when you youngest is down for a nap?) and you may need to find a way to move him into a different room at night. Even if it is a playpen in the living room.
I caution you: Don't get into the car ride habit. My two year old got trained to nap in the car (I deliver flowers and she goes to work with me) and now she will not nap out of it. Try a swing instead, was the only thing that worked for a little girl I babysat.

Make sure that daddy is getting up with them his fair share of the time too- I understand he works, but so do you- 24hrs a day with no time off and no sick leave.

Coffee...
Just kidding (sort of). I don't have a lot of advice, but you can always pm me in the middle of the night...I'll be up too! LOL Sleep deprivation is tough. I just try to keep in mind that this too will end someday...just in time to be up to worry whether they make it home with the car safely!

I don't believe in CIO either, but I do believe in letting them fuss. My daughter woke a lot after her little brother was born. I would just go to her, tell her it was night-night time and give her another kiss. She still has her soothers from when she was a baby, so I'd put those on for her and that would be the end of it.

Sleep is a habit, so it sounds like your son has the habit or getting up and staying up. You need to change that, and it would seem to me that to get it started, you need to get him to stay in his bed and understand that it's "night-night" time.

As for the 4month old, you need to just quickly nurse and get him back down. No talking, no anything. If he is overtired, then prevention is going to be 90% of it, so don't let him get overtired. I can understand the desire to co-sleep, but maybe it's time to move him to his own bed? 4 months is a good age to start instilling the sleep routine.

For the 4 month old I would suggest a carrier like a ring sling or a woven wrap so that you can wear him when he needs to be sleeping but you are unable to lay with him for one reason or another.

As for your 18 month old I'm sensing a little jealousy there. He is still so young and probably doesn't understand why his little brother gets to sleep all snuggled up with Mommy and he doesn't. This would be a great time for daddy to step in. If he can take over sleep time with your 18 month old by laying with him at night when he needs a snuggle it should help a ton. I think your big boy just needs to be reassured that the baby isn't going to replace him.

Another option, if daddy snuggles don't work would be for your husband to switch out with your son for a little while. Let your big boy snuggle up to your back and have the baby in front of you. Give it a month or two until your big boy is feeling a little more secure in having a baby brother in the house and sharing mommy. Just don't ever leave the two boys in bed together, at least not until the baby is old enough to move out of the way if big brother gets to close while sleeping.

Hi - Sorry I'm so late responding. I second the recommendation of the Healthy Sleep Habits book. Unfortunately you might have to let them fuss (I know it's hard) in order to do what's best for them. They can't learn to put themselves back to sleep if you don't let them. There are a lot of studies showing that kids who are sleep-deprived as toddlers do worse in school (even up through high school and college) and are more likely to have sleep problems as adults. You're not doing them any favors by protecting them from CIO. Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, and I am not judging - I know how hard it is, and I fought it for a long time. It's just that sometimes you have to do the hard thing and force them into a schedule that gets them (and you) the sleep you need. You can't be at your best as a mom if you're not getting enough sleep. I'd try a super-early bedtime (6:30 or 7) and let them fuss a little when they wake up - don't respond right away. I'm not talking about letting them CIO for hours on end or ignoring them if they truly need something; just give them a chance to put themselves back to sleep so they can learn that skill. Good luck.

I don't really know what solution to give you since CIO was the only thing that finally worked with both my kids, and we tried everything. I would recommend you try the Healthy Sleep Habits book by Weisbluth. It will help you understand their sleep cycles and the times that are best to put them down. Both your kids seem overtired. And once overtired, it is a hard cycle to break because they are too tired to sleep.