18 Month Old Hitting

Time out for that age shouldn't be anymore then a minute and half. Use a timer and let him watch it so he knows he isn't there forever. This will teach him to stay in time out without getting up, especially if you start the timer over again if he gets up. Time out really isn't time out when you are sitting with him. Then it becomes mommy and me time, so don't sit with him during time outs. My granddaughter hates time outs so she will straighten up with just the threat of one.

Hitting is normal for this age group. They dont have the communication skills to let their dislikes and frustrations be known in any other way. They are going to throw fits, hit or fight or scream to let you know they aren't happy. When you see him hit, go through the "we don't hit, it hurts other people" and the time out. Also give him words to use now that he is starting to talk or will be shortly. After the time out tell him "I know you are Angry, but you can't hurt people when you are angry" Make sure you give him a hug and kiss after the time out so he knows you love him. I also told my granddaughter when she would hit me "Grandma doesn't like to be hit... she likes hugs and kisses much more" Now when she wants to hit, she thinks twice and will give me hugs and kisses instead. She is 21 months old. I also know with my granddaughter that if she gets to the stage of hitting, it usually means she is getting really tired and is acting out for that reason. I usually try to get her down for her nap around that time. I don't do it as a punishment and tell her "I see you are getting tired by the way you are acting, lets lay down for a bit" She might fight it but I tell her "your eyes are saying 'oh Emma, please let me rest' and your body is saying 'Oh, Emma, we need to sleep so we will feel better and be happier'". I also sing a song that I made up "you're a sleepy girl, you're a sleepy girl, close your eyes, close your eyes, you are very tired, you are very tired, go to sleep go to sleep" She goes to sleep with that song just to get me to stop singing, I think.

Consistancy and patience is what is needed for this age group. Good luck.

He does not get the concept of time out. I work in a local day care with a class of toddlers. I find that most of the hitting/pushing behaviors occur because the child does not how to communicate what it is that he/she wants.
With my toddlers I explain that it hurts the other person and they need to use their words. I then model what the children should be doing (ex. Charlie you can hit Nicole because you want that car, you need to ask her for a turn. Nicole, is it okay if Charlie has a turn with the car?). If Nicole is not ready to share, she then needs to let Charlie know when his turn will be (in my class room it is two minutes). If the behavior continues than the child would have to come sit next to a teacher for a couple of minutes. While the child is sitting there we talk about why he/she can't hit.
Hope this helps

Actually, 18 month olds DO get time-outs, but not what we want them to get out of it. THEY are actually getting the attention they want for what they've done while WE get a break from their behavior temporarily.

Wouldn't it be nice if the consequence actually fit the crime AND resulted in a change in behavior?

What works is to shift the attention to the child he hurts.

When you make a bigger deal of the child who is hurt than your son, he will stop the hitting. As soon as it happens, go to the child who got hit and pick him/her up. Dry his/her tears and ask him/her all the questions you can think of:

Are you OK? Boy, you must be feeling sad! It hurts when people hit doesn't it? I am so sorry that you are feeling hurt...

Keeping up these questions and holding and caring for the victim will make your son feel left out - which is NOT what he wants... it's what YOU want which is why you are trying the time out (remember, time-outs do not have this effect).

Once he realizes that he won't get attention from hitting, he will stop.

Of course, soon, he'll try something else. That's where you need some more tools in your toolbox M..

Read: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so They'll Talk by Faber & Mazlish. You won't believe the great tools this book has to offer. And don't worry - it's a quick read for a mom with twins. It's almost like INSTANT PARENTING...

You'll love it :o)

My little guy started hitting at that age too, and he packs quite a punch! I take him in my lap, tell him no firmly and hold his hands in mine. Most of the time he responds and backs down. Mostly for him it's an attention-getting action, he does it because he can. I always move him away from whomeever he's tried to hit and I encourage him to say sorry (he copies me) then I give him a hug and it's over. I think, at least for boys, it's more of a phase at this age. I recommend What the Bible Says About Child Training by Fugate for more tips on handling aggression in children. It's so much better (and easier) to address it when they are little.

SAHM of seven, three girls and four boys

If he's doing it for attention, he may be getting what he wants by making you "hold" him in a time out. My suggestion is that you remove the other children and yourself to go do another activity. Don't give him attention for it. Catch him being good and give verbal praise. I'm not sure what else you could do. It does seem like he may not quite be getting the idea of what a time out is. All in all, a time out needs to be without interaction from you or others to be effective. He might just be a bit too young yet. When my stepdaughter was about two, we would send her to 'sit down'. It didn't really matter where. We just made her sit down and we would scold for whatever the behavior was. Removing her from the situation seemed to be enough for her to know she was doing something wrong. Then, we would return to playing something else. It got to the point where we could eventually just point to a chair and she would go there (she was 3 or 4 by then!) and now we can send her to her room. As she got older, the conversations we had with her about her behavior and better alternatives got a little more in depth according to her age, understanding and attention span. Hope that helps a little!

Yes, your doing the right thing with time outs, but as they get older you'll probably have to switch were time out is as one place stops working. I started putting my boys in time out when they were that age, because otherwise they wouldn't listen. He sounds a lot like one of my boys. When were around others he'll go to them instead of us, but if he's tired then he wants mommy. By two the time outs cut down to one every day or two and the hitting switched to wrestling.

Sounds like you are doing great! Continue the time outs. Even if he doesn't "get it" yet, he will. It may take awhile, but he will begin to understand. If you are concerned about the attention factor you may want to also try reinforcing his good behavior and giving him special times where he is getting all of your attention. (Difficult, I know.) One more thing, when our kids were this young we did time out in their crib with their door closed. (No toys or blankies or anything else in the bed, of course!) That way, we didn't have to worry about them getting up.

Hi,
He probably is doing it for attention, but he is old enough that he knows what he is doing and that behavior needs corrected know before he gets older. After about a week of the repetitive behavior he would understand what you are doing. You are doing good, somewhat seclude his so that he cannot play with the other the other kids. And tell him he has to sit in the corner for a minute(that is plenty long enough for his age). When his time out is up go and get him and tell him what he did wrong and make him say sorry to the little boy. But also encourage and reward him. When he gets up also tell him that he did very good sitting in corner and that you love him very much and give him a hug. If he gets up pick him up and put him right back in the spot and tell him no you are in time out.

I just asked my pediatrician about this, as I've noticed my son started some aggressive behavior at around 15 mo. She said between 15-18mo is the prime time for the hitting, biting, and/or pinching to start. She said it's because 1) many aren't proficient with words yet, and don't know how else to take out their frustrations or ask for attention, and 2) kids are really impulsive at that age and prone to istant feelings that lead them to do that. My son was pinching, but what was interesting is that he was pinching only me, or those closest to him, and he would stare at my face while doing it. This told me he was relly trying to gauge my reaction. My ped. suggested that instead of time-outs (which can frustrate them more), set them down or walk away after saying, "we don't pinch because that hurts" or "if you're going to pinch we can't play." I'm not always consistent with it, but I see that it's helped us.

My son is now 20 months old and I started a daycare about 6 months ago and watched 2 kids one was 3 and one was a year. My son started to hit and once in awhile bite and pull hair is the worse the 3 year old had long hair so I did time for 2 minutes, 1 mintue was just not long enough to teach him anything he would try to get up but I will stop the timer if he does tell him to sit down and start it again. At a year and a half your son should understand some of what you tell him like to sit down but dont do time out with him he needs to learn to sit there on his own.
This is something most all kids go through at this age and do grow out of it. My son was just like that around those daycare kids but I dont have them anymore, other kids he seems ok around I dont have any daycare kids right now but will again sometime so that will be intresting.
Just keep up on time outs and in time he will straighen up I know my son will also. Good luck to you! L.

My son is just slightly older than yours and has also started hitting (and occationally biting) his older brother... We don't know why he's started doing these things either. We always tell him that what he did was naughty and we make him go sit on the steps. We try to explain to him why he's in timeout though he usually doesn't understand that he needs to stay in timeout until we let him go back to playing.
I do believe that it's a stage that they go through but, for my son, I also think he's trying to get a little attention and can't do it very well verbally so he just hits. But, keep up with the timeouts... Even if the hitting if for attention, it shouldn't be accepted. Eventually, he'll figure out that hitting is not the way to get the attention he wants. Good luck!

YES - They understand time-outs at this age!! But - it has to be immediate and brief!!! Say "NO! That (hitting/pushing/etc) hurts." - Then, you'll have to sit with him/her at the designated time-out spot, but do not talk or respond to any behavior. 1 minute per year old. Then, instruct them to say sorry and give hugs or kiss the part that was hurt. That's it! It literally only takes a couple minutes. Then move on - it's history at this age. Stick with it and I promise within a couple weeks (if you are very consistent) the behavior will pass. Keep in mind that as children age they will continue to test boundaries. So, you will stop doing time-outs then 6 months later it starts all over again.