18 Month Old Biting and Pinching

It is totally normal behavior at this age. Take the child physically from the situation/other child and distract. I have found this to be the most effective. When you move the child, explain that said behavior is a no and hurtful, prompt to apologize (but don't expect too much at first, sorry may be a long time coming) and offer another activity, food, toy, etc. By age 2 in my expereince they can handle a more structured "time out" or other discipline, an offer of sorry like a hug, then a return to play. Basically you just want your 18 month old to KNOW it isn't okay every time they do it, but it will take some growth and repitition for them to REMEMBER that it isn't okay. Good Luck!

JA is right, it's really a common phase during which kids have no effective way to express frustration, annoyance, or urgent desire. They make sense of it eventually if parents don't respond in kind (with frustration, annoyance, or an urgent desire to have the behavior stop), but rather model the behavior they want to see, and give the child words to use instead of action. And it helps to become familiar enough with the situations in which the behavior arises to avoid them in the first place when possible.

Calm repetition, firmly holding the child's hands and/or removing him from the situation, repeating a composed and consistent phrase or two about not hurting people – these do work, often within a few weeks. Children learn most thoroughly the behaviors and expressions they see modeled by their parents.

So I hope you'll think of "discipline" in its most accurate definition of guidance and teaching, rather than punishment.

You'll probably be advised by some to bite or pinch back. This can shock or frighten some children into stopping the behavior. But I worry that that creates a logical problem: why do big people get to do what they are telling little people to stop doing? You can see where a young mind might go with that.

And it keeps the solution externalized: I won't bite because we might get hurt and punished, not because I learn the Golden Rule. I've met an awful lot of adults who behave only when they think they'll get caught. I can't help but wonder how many of them did not receive guidance that allowed them to logically internalize an ethical code. Social researchers argue that there is a measurable connection.

My grandson had a few biting incidents at his preschool at that age, but the teachers were experienced and shadowed him, and swooped to the rescue as soon as he started to get agitated. And of course, his parents gave him frequent coaching at home, including role-playing potential incidents with puppets or stuffed animals.

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the worst way to handle biting is to be physical back.

at the same time, biting is particularly a habit that must be corrected asap. there are lines drawn by other parents, and biting is on most parents lines as completely inappropriate. it can cause serious medical problems, and is one of the few things daycares will kick a child out for after only 2 offenses.

i agree to try and find books to read on the subject. also to be very positive of appropriate behavior. i know some parents think "if i just ignore it, it will go away, its just for attention". i disagree. i have seen parents do this, and the behavior doesnt just go away, it gets worse. then the other parents dont want their kids are that kid, esp since it looks like the parents arent addressing it..

although time out may not be fully understood at this age, something along the lines of immediately removing him and putting him in a not fun area until he calms down. once he is calm, then you can tell him that we dont bite, it hurts and makes boo boos, ect. since he is already frustrated when he does bite, there is no sense in discussing or correcting it until he is no longer frustrated.

and make sure to be consistant. at this age, he wont fully understand the process unless you make sure to do the same thing each time. remove him, wait till he calms, talk, and have him say sorry. if you only do it sometimes, that will confuse him, and he wont understand what behavior is wrong. i also agree with the poster trying to intervene before it turns to biting. try to talk it out why he is mad before it escalates. good luck

My son was a biter and the child care instructors and I did a few things to address this issue together. We read books titled, Hands are not for hitting, ect (there is a whole series about mouths and teeth are not for biting, etc) and we did an observation techinique. That is we observed and recorded what situations and what events occured up to the bite/pinch. Was it frustration, boredom, lack of attention??
Then we came up with activies to address the problem before it started. So if we saw him getting frustrated and that was a trigger for bites, we removed him before he got the chance to act out. or if it was boredom, got his hands busy. . .Let me just say we went through quite a bit of Play-Dough ! LOL!
I say "we" because I reinforced at home what was going on in the classroom. I would suggest keeping your child busy and those observation sessions are worth their weight and you can do it at home just as easily if that is the case.
Best of luck.

just telling them no biting, no pinching. I put my kids in "time out" which is just a play pen in the other room. They aren't allowed out until I say. Yes they do climb out, but I put them back in, and tell them that they are to stay there until I say.
Second. I am not a big person for physical disicipline. But biting is something I will not put up with. Biting can get kids kicked out of day care, and I can't have that. So....I snap my kids upper lip when they bite. (a flicking motion with my thumb and pointer finger, my pointer finger hits their upper lip). Yes it hurts a little bit, but it is not harsh.....it gets the point across.

I totally disagree with Angie G's second piece of advice about using a form of physical discipline! At that age, biting is really a form of communication because your child is feeling some intense emotions at that moment that he/she doesn't really understand and can't verbally communicate. So it is not discipline you want, but to continually reinforce that biting isn't appropriate but then to also remove your child from the situation causing the emotions and biting response. And this will be an ongoing learning for your child. It can be difficult, especially if your child is in daycare. Some daycares are very bad about how they handle biting children and others are great and provide educational information to both the parents of the biter and those children who may have been bitten. Because it really is a behavior that needs to be understood on both sides. Your child will ultimately stop the biting as long as you are constantly -- and in a consistent manner -- letting him/her know that the behavior is wrong. I highly suggest you do some research on biting and I think you'll be surprised how much information there is.

Biting and pinching is a sign of anger and frustration. Consider teaching your ds/dd child sign language. It sounds scary but it is very easy and quick to teach. My son didn't speak until he was 2 1/2 years old. Teaching him to sign water, milk, again, sleep, book, eat, bath, and a few others was the best thing I ever did. He used the sign for "again" alot; if he wanted to blow the candle out again or listen to a song over, or have another cookie. He'd point/tap his index finger into the palm of his left hand and I would say "Ok, again." And he'd nod. He didn't get as fustrated as he used to bc he could sign what he wanted even though his vocal abilities hadn't caught up yet. Go online and look up child sign language and there should be some pictures and instructions. The free stuff is not comprehensive but you don't need that. Just the basics. Good Luck.