18-Mo Old Throws Tantrum at Meal Time

This is the same thing my 20 month old does right now!I wish i had some good advice for you.I'm searching for that myself.just yesterday he got so worked up about not wanting to seat at the table for dinner that i let him get down and he still was screaming about it so much he puked all over!and tried to do that tonight also....I'm at a lose I've tried everything.The minute he gets out of his booster seat he is asking for a snack!hello were eating supper!!

l

I would definitely put a stop to it now. She is just testing you.

If she starts throwing a tantrum, remove her from the room. (Either put her to bed or in time out or the living room couch, etc....) Tell her she can come back when she's done fussing and ready to sit down and eat. If she doesn't come back on her own, give her 5 min and go tell her the rules and ask her if she's ready to return. IF she says no, keep checking in every 5 min. WHEN she does return. Make sure to stick to the rules. If she starts throwing another tantrum, remove her again.

Do NOT give her any food away from the table/ booster seat. She will not starve. It may take a day or two but she will realize that you are sticking with your rules and following through with your threats. She will start to follow the boundaries you have set.

Good luck.

Honestly, my advice is just to be patient. If you have to have her on your lap for a few weeks so be it.

I can't exactly remember the time line, but I know it was sometime between 18mo - 24mo that we got our son a small table for him to sit at. At that time he was eating his meals basically seperate from us (due to when I got home from work), but just being able to sit at a table his size and not in the high chair helped us.

Now he is 3 years old and his little table is in his room and we all eat together as a family. It all works out in the end.

M.,

This sounds like a clear case of toddler pushing boundaries to test parents. If it were me, I wouldn't endulge behavior like that because it will just get worse and testing will probably spill over into other areas. Your toddler clearly can eat at the table because she does it at daycare, just chooses not to because it's more fun to eat on your lap, the floor or the car seat. At our house, you eat at the table like everyone else or you don't eat. It doesn't take long until they learn good table manners and eat at the table.

Good luck,

S.

We have seven children, and I agree with the parents saying this is a testing issue. Our children have tried it also. I try to keep the roaming to a minimum. If you let her sit on you lap or prepare food for her to eat in the car later, she has "won" in her eyes, and will continue the battle, and will forever remember the one time you gave in and the tantrums will get worse if you try to hold out longer thinking they will get better. You need to set your boundaries and stick to them, whatever you choose for them to be. If you want her to sit in her highchair, make that the rule and stick with it. No food outside of the highchair, period. And she will not starve. It may be a rough week, but worth it in the end when she obeys your rules! Best wishes!

I think some of the advice given is a little harsh for an 18 month old. Honestly the bigger deal you make out of it, the bigger deal she is going to make. Maybe she is trying to tell you that she is full. I found at that age my daughter was more of a snacker and would eat little bits at a time through out the day as opposed to a few big meals. They have tiny tummies and I think this is natural for them. I would just let her eat where she is happy (in your lap) and when she is happily in her chair try to distract her by talking to her and being silly. They are much easier to reason with at the 2 year old age. At 18 months they are still a little too impulsive to really understand certain discipline techniques. Just give her lots of love and attention, especially when she is sitting nicely in her chair. When she is not, don't make a big deal out of it or give her a lot of attention. Let her down, or give her a snack later. You have got to pick your battles with toddlers or you will be fighting all day long and you will both get frustrated and angry. This wont last forever!

-E.

We have had this happen many times (we have had 9 toddlers), so we've had lots of time to try many different methods to get it stopped. It was pretty important for me, because I come from a disciplinarian home and am pretty big on discipline. Like you, I didn't want the lap thing to become a habit. So I will report on our experiments.

None of them really worked. The most effective method seems to have been the waiting method. Each of the training methods that we tried basically failed until the child turned a certain age and then the methods seemed to finally work! (HA!) So the last few times we've tried skipping the methods and enjoying the lap baby (my husband really enjoys this closeness and feeding the baby). This seems to work just as well. So, while I don't really have a solution to your present problem, I can assure you that you are not creating a habit that will be hard to break. Our 10,9,6,5 and almost-3-year-old are all eating in their own seats at our family dinner table (as are their older brothers). They don't even want in anyone's lap.

I should add that they are only allowed those 2 options--their own seat or a lap. They are not allowed to walk around eating or take food into another room of the house. The car seat and the floor (sitting in one spot) count as their own seat.

Obviously, opinion varies widely on this question. It comes down to what works for your family and what you are willing to make "important" and fight the battle and what is not important and make adjustments. In my case, I have one daughter (if I'd had 7, I might have had to make different choices) and I am able to be lenient on exactly how, when, and where things like eating and sleeping take place. My daughter had periods of time where eating happened in my (or Dad's) lap and that worked fine. I don't agree that "habits" last forever for children. At every development stage, things like eating and sleeping habits have changed for us. We've just gone with the flow and we are all healthy and happy and well-adjusted and polite in public...