17 Month Old Biting! - Clifton Park,NY

Updated on July 29, 2007
J.B. asks from Clifton Park, NY
6 answers

I need serious advice. I just lost my sitter because my son has started biting. This is tricky. My sitter says he is biting just to bite. He bit her son once because he put his hand on the baby gate and then again for standing next to him. and then my other son was sleeping on the couch and he went up to him and bit the back of his leg.

The thing is he has only done this a few times to me and that was a communicative bite (I was holding his hand trying to redirect him from going towards the street and he bit my hand) My sitter said he is biting just to bite.

I always do the "NO BITE" thing and attempt a time out (it's tough with him being so young, he throws temper tantrums) as does my sitter.It obviously is not working. I don't know what to do. I never went through this with my older son. Please help!

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D.A.

answers from Utica on

Alot of kids go throught the biting stage. there is alot of info online that will tell you how to "cure it" However, My son bit for a good part of his life and he is now 5 and still does once in a while. He could be biting to communicate or it could just feel good to him. It is really hard to say at this age. A good remedy to try is to give him something to bite on. Whether it be a teething toy or a washcloth. If these help you know that its because he feels good. he could be teething or it could just be a sensory need talk to your peditrician he will give you some oral stimulation work to do on his teeth and gums . if not then maybe he is having a tough time communicating which is very common. Keep telling him to try to use his words and prompt him on words to use. I hope this helps please let me know if you have anymore questions. Also a great book to read with your child is "Teeth Are Not For Biting"

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J.F.

answers from Rochester on

1-2-3 Magic - Easy-To-Learn Parenting Solutions That Work
From Dr. Thomas Phelan. You can find this book in your local library. He may not be two years old yet for counting but if you have two kids it can help hopefully.

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C.L.

answers from Buffalo on

Well first off, I'm glad you don't have that "sitter" any longer because she doesn't seem to know about the biting stage in toddlers. Your child is the typical age in which this occus, and once it starts it's pretty predictable. Thankfully, this stage does not last long.

You can google and find out everything you need to know about biting, but I can quickly offer a few things. One is to watch that biter like a hawk, because you know it's going to happen again. Never leave a biter with the opportunity to bite. You won't prevent all biting, but this will certainly help.

Also, he is too young for time out and time out, even if he were old enough, wouldn't be effective here.

Children have a hard time understand the word "No!" and the concept of what NOT to do. They grasp what TO do much easier. When a bite occurs, shower love, booboo kisses and attention to the victim. You DO want to communicate with the biter that "Biting HURTS! We don't bite, (and as corny as it sounds) we use our words!" Then turn your back on the biter (if he has no other victims lined up) and continue to give attention to the victim.

I hope you can find a sitter who knows about biting. They don't bite just to bite, they're communicating. This isn't to say that biting doesn't feel good to them, it probably does!

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H.P.

answers from Hartford on

J. - HANG IN THERE. I have a 2 year old son who was unfortunately the "victim of a biter" at his daycare. However, my husband and I NEVER, EVER blamed the child. We understood that at any time our son could become the biter and that it's just a stage some kids go through. I think you need to find a new sitter (also understand that in a lot of cases, that's easier said then done). You didn't state how long your son was biting. Is he trying to communicate? Is he bored? Is he hungry? I would bet that there is a pattern of when and whom he is biting - that would give you a better clue as to why he's biting. You may also want to discuss with your pediatrician. Good luck - this, too, shall pass.

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

My 18 month old has started yelling to communicate in the same way that your son is biting. You're right, it is total communication issues, however that is no excuse. Your baby sitter just doesn't understand your son. My son has been screaming at his older brother just for sitting beside him when he doesn't want him there. I tell him not to scream, and that it's ok for brother to be there. I think you are doing the right thing. Just keep enforcing that biting is not accepted no matter the reason, and he'll eventually get it. Try to understand what it is he needs at the time, and help him use words to get his point across. He's most likely biting because he's not being understood.

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C.S.

answers from New London on

Hi J.,

I have a Granddaughter that is doing the same thing, often my daughter feels that she is doing something wrong, ie. she is a single mother who has to work full time. I tell her that it is not her fault and try to give her some suggestions, some work some do not. One of your responder's mentioned a book by Dr. Thomas Phelan, I am going to buy this book for my daughter in hope that it will help. There are also many answers for this problem on the web. I simply typed in children biting, and came up with all types information. Definitely, pay only attention to the person that is bitten, this way your son will not feel that he will receive any attention from his biting. This seems to be the one that has helped. I must add that now in day care full time, my Granddaughter has now become the victim, she has been bitten atleast 3 times at the day care, which concerns me and my daughter. Especially because when my daughter asked why they could not stop the incidents before they happened, and their response was, "you try and watch this many children at one time". This concerns me greatly !

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