16 Month Old Behavior

I hear you 100%! I have 15 month old twin girls. Same thing here except there are two of them. If you find anything that works please let me know!!!

Read "The happiest toddler on the block", by Harvey Karp, M.D.

We found the techniques to be especially helpful with clinging and whining.

Good Luck

In the same boat!! I am so glad to hear that my 16 mo old son is not the only one doing this! Don't have advice... just understanding! Best of luck with your little man!

Hi S.! I agree with everyone that it is just a phase that some kids go through. My daughter will be 18 months old this month and has been that way for a month or two now.....I have found that just ignoring her makes it worse.

This is what works for me. I sit down with her for a few minutes or just hold her and let her see what I'm doing for a little while, then I give her something new to play with (a plastic spoon and a plastic container....just anything that she normally doesn't play with). After giving her some attention by holding her, I comfort her, and then I turn her attention to something else. I have even given her a few straws and a plastic cup.....it doesn't always work, but most of the time it works like a charm. Ah, the simple things. : )

Good luck! Oh, and just to get you through this phase.....I keep thinking that one day she isn't going to want me to hold her at all......so I just enjoy her wanting to be close to me even if I have a million other things to do. Just remember it won't last forever!

I remember those days! My son is now three and periodically does that. I find that if I give him full- force attention for a few minutes and play or tickle him and give him that reassuring contact, I can involve him in a tv show or activity, I can sneak away. Also try involving him in what you are doing. Give him play-doh at the high chair and clean the kitchen or give him a pile of rags to "fold" while you do the laundry. He just loves his Mommy. Another option is to make your house a second or last priority by getting someone in to clean once a week or every two. This will free you up a lot and allow you to focus on your little man 100%

Do understand that I am not insinuating that you aren't making him a priority now, its just that the cliché of "they grow up so fast" is true. You also need some woman time in order to keep your sanity. Join a book club or neighborhood bunko group. Look into MOMS Club in your town so you can do activities with your son and with other Moms! Check out Momsclub.com. Good luck.

Hello S.,
My daughter went through this 5 months ago when she was 17 months old, and then she came out of it. I read a lot on the topic and heard from several sources that when children become more mobile, they go through a period of venturing out to explore, but then shortly thereafter become frightened about it and go through a very clingy phase. All children are different of course, and if this is the case for your child, then it is a very normal developmental stage. What I read though is that a parent should do their best to minister to the baby's feelings and continue to make the child feel safe. It is nerve wracking and hard I know, but it will hopefully end soon. Hope that encourages you!

S.,
Thats funny, I just had a playdate with a friend and we JUST WERE DISCUSSING THAT ISSUE!!!!! Her daughter is also clingy. She was complaining about not being able to accomplish things during the day because of it. My daughter, on the other hand, is the complete opposite, and has been since she was one or so. So, in our debate...I suggested that it is a personality trait. I could be wrong, but it makes sense to me. We are also SAHM's and our daughters are only children. My point was, what is it that I do, that she doesnt do, that makes our children so different? She and I both have a very similar routine. To me, this is what makes my theory correct. I would love to read others points of few on this topic, as I find it interesting. Case in point, while I type this, my daughter is in her room playing. She will come out, check on ME, and go back in there!!!! hahaha I dont want to make it sound as if I ignore her. We play every morning and afternoon. She gets to the point of, "leave me alone, Mommy!!" LOL

Margaret :)
P.S. My kiddo is 20 months and my friends kiddo is 14 months.

Hi S.,
You will need to adjust your schedule so you can spend time with your little boy. At 16 months, he still thinks you and he are one person. Some children have "mommyitis" more than others. It is important that you respond to his individual needs. Do housework when he is sleeping and while he is awake, shorten the duration of your housework to smaller increments. Also, try to engage your son in helping. It is not too early to train him (you will be giving yourself a pat on the back when he is older and can do more). Start with giving him a small amount of laundry that he can put away (a dish towel or wash cloth). Buy him a play vacuum while you use the real vacuum. Kids love to help and get involved and all three of mine love to pitch in and be a part. Good Luck!

I hear you! I have a 15 month old who does that sometimes and it can drive me nuts too. What I have been doing that helps some is letting him go into his bedroom and play. I have a glider rocker in there and he loves to sit in it and talk on his play cell phone, it is the cutest. Anyway, letting him play in his room is the best. I just check on him a lot and he doesn't stay too long but it helps my nerves! I think the real solution is to have more kids!lol! I had a friend's daughter at my house for several days after Ike and she and my son just played and romped around together all day. My house was so clean! I finally realized the reason I don't get anything done around here is because I have a toddler on my heels all day:) So anyway, don't know if any of that was helpful, but I enjoyed ranting about it nonetheless! Have a great day:)

I don't think you're doing anything wrong! It's just the age they're at!! I echo what some of the others say by just giving him that extra attention. Make your house second right now. The dust and dirt will always be there and will always come back so quickly after cleaning but the precious time you have with him will not always be there. Try to remember that this isn't going to be a permanent stage. he will grow out of it and not want to be with you. My daughter is almost 16 months too and I am going through the exact same things. Sometimes I get so frustrated but I try to remember that this time is so precious and I really try to just enjoy the moment. Hang in there. It will pass!!!!
B.
p.s. Please don't ignore him. That seems so mean!! He needs EXTRA love and attention right now!!!

The developmental stage he is going thru is object permanance - which makes peek-a-boo so much fun for babies. He is not totally sure that when you go away, you will come back. That said, you can deminish the behaviors. Get the book 123 magic. Have fun!
T.

Your child sounds like he is very dependent on you. He is afraid of being left, by you also. May be you should arrange for him to be with someone else more often. Than be sure that you call ahead of time when you so to pick him up so he can be watching for you. Tell him you will be back in a little bit he will start to understand this. I know that this is hard been there also. Good luck.

Mine (boy) was just like that - more so than my other kids. And more so than I noticed than my friend's kids.

He is 3 and is still very clingy... Someone here had good advice about giving him your one-on-one attention for a few minutes and then give him a similar activity like you are doing... Like pouring rice into one pot and another while you are making dinner.

When some days get really bad, like if they are not feeling good. I put him in the ERGO backpack. (Google it if you don't know what they are - SAVED my life!!) And I would cart him around the house with me.

I know it's frustrating because you DO have to manage your house and feed YOURSELF on a daily basis. Sure some things can slide, but you there's just those days where you HAVE to get some things done!!

Like I said, my guy is 3, he's still SUPER clingy - but it's endearing most of the time. He'll sit and cuddle with me for hours, while one of my other children is SOOO independant - I might get a high-five and brief kiss during the day and that's it!! They are all SOOO different!!

I had a mini-melt-down the other night while cuddling with my clingy little man, knowing the day is coming when he'll be pushing mama aside. You know it's coming... so try to enjoy it while you can!

And here's point that will make you proud... think of many years from now how happy he will make his future wife because he will probably be one of those cuddly, affectionate husbands!!

It's a phase, it will pass. You can never give your children too much attention. In fact, I think that the more you give the more likely they will be to feel secure to play on their own.

Been there! You just tell him Mom's got to fold some laundry or make a phone call or whatever. Tell him when you're done, if he is good, you will play with him. When he hangs on your leg or throws a fit, you totally ignor it and step right over him and go about your business. If he clings really tightly, you just unhook him and don't say a word. When I mean totally ignor, I mean totally. Once he figures out you are really going to complete your task, he will stop (this might not be immediately, so stick with it). This is the only way to get over it. If you stop and pick him up, he'll do it everytime. My oldest one did this. She is now 5 and she still would prefer me over entertaining herself. She still wants my attention when I am on the phone, but she knows if she interupts me, she won't get my attention when I am finished. 16 months is too young for that concept, but he will stop hanging on you when it stops working for him. Good luck!

14 to 18 months is about the time when they get clingy for Mommy (often not even Daddy, just Mommy). (They cry at daycare, etc.) Just keep doing what you do. Give him plenty hugs and kisses and whatever else you like to do. Then, put him down and say aloud that "Mommy's gonna...while you...." I'm sure that you talk to him while you're doing your thing. Periodically, just stop and give him some attention and then go back to what you're doing. He'll learn that he doesn't have to make a fuss to get your attention. Unfortunately, you can't really stop this, but you can help yourself to feel better about not running to him all the time. That's something that you do not want to start.