15 Month Old Who Is Not Sleeping Well

Updated on April 06, 2009
C.O. asks from New Market, MD
9 answers

Please help!!! We need some sleep! We have a 15 month old who is fantastic in every way except for sleeping through the night. We have absolutely no problem putting him down, he falls asleep quickly but he's up 2 hours after we put him down. Then he's awake for 2-3 hours after that. During those hours we will let him cry for a few minutes and then go in and settle him by rubbing his back. Usually he's quiet but awake and he starts the whole process 10, 20, or 30 minutes later. He just seems to be awake. My hunch is that his "circadian rhythm" is off. But I don't know how to fix it. I usually wake him (sometimes he wakes himself) at 7 am. He is then ready for a nap 2 hours after his wake time. (I think it's because he so sleepy from not having a restful sleep the night before...I tried to push back his morning nap today with disastorous results.) His morning naps usually last 45-60 minutes (usually 9-10am) and typically he wakes up himself. Then his afternoon nap is the same amount of time usually between 1 and 2pm or 2 and 3pm. We put him down around 7pm most nights. What are we doing wrong? At 15 months should he be napping only once for a longer time, does it make a difference? There are days (sometimes even a week or two at a time when he sleeps for 12 hours at night. This happens without any change in routine or schedule. Has anyone else had this experience? Please shed some light on this situation. Thank you !!!!!!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My son kept to two naps a day to almost 4 years old, and then kept to one nap a day through kindergarten (they had a quiet time where the kids laid down with blankets after lunch and more than half the class would sleep. Those who didn't sleep could quietly look at picture books on their blanket.). It was hard to adjust to no naps in first grade, but on the weekends, we'd all take one when we needed to. I found his naps would be longer (and he'd sleep the the night more soundly) as he was going through a growth spurt. It got to the point where I knew he'd need bigger shoes (and pants and shirts) by his sleep patterns. A lot of people of all ages wake up in the middle of the night. The trick is learning to roll over and go back to sleep. It can take awhile for kids to learn how to do this. If they are use to a bed time routine, they seem to think they need this all over again even if it's the middle of the night. One time my son came toddling into my bedroom at 2am with his favorite book telling me it was story time. I had to tell him the sun was still sleeping and we should be, too. For your situation, try to keep his afternoon nap as early as possible, then get as active as you can in the afternoon. Walks, fresh air, play ground, etc. Follow your bedtime routine, and he'll fall asleep solidly at bedtime. I had a hard time teaching my son about being quiet till he falls asleep again during the night, but we eventually got there. When he wakes in the middle of the night, check on him, but make it short, and try not to pick him up. My son still wanted "Party - my crib - 2am". It got to the point where I'd check him briefly, and he'd cry. Finally I would check him, then leave, then I'd sit outside his room out of sight till he'd be asleep again. First night, he cried 2 hours - I agonized over it. Second night, the crying only lasted 30 min. By the third night, he had it figured out. We all slept much better after that.

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R.S.

answers from Denver on

What is he eating on the nights he doesn't sleep.....I would ask myself that. Also do you leave a sippy cup with water in it in his crib, so if he is thristy he can help himself? He could be congested and or teething as well.

Hang in there you will figure it out...Meanwhile keep records of when he sleeps well and when he doesn't.

R.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i disagree with the advice to cut out a nap to wear him out. over-tired children generally sleep less well. i totally agree with the advice to keep your night-time checks on him brief and silent, don't engage him or interact with him other than a brief touch. it may well be that he's ready to give up or shorten a nap, but if he's really tired in the mornings, forcing him to stay awake will be counter-productive. i'd start where the problem is, at night.
khairete
S.

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

You have to cut out the morning nap!...for your sanity and his restfulness. Find activities to keep him busy til he adjusts-take him out for walks or play since the weather's getting so nice. If he sleeps through the night, he won't need the morning nap as much. Up at 7 and down at 7 worked for us beautifully, so you're doing the right thing there. Routine is key! It gave us our lives back--children respond well to routines. The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford really helped us figure out schedules.

Good luck, K.

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It sounds like you have a normal child. Normal children do not sleep by the book. I would try watching him to decide when to put him down for a nap. It will free up a lot of time that you are now spending going back and forth when he is not tired. If his naps are not at the same time everyday it is not the end of the world. Having a routine is a good thing but you do not need to be a slave to routine. I would try being more flexible with nap time and pushing back his bedtime. He might be a little cranky but he should be tired enough to sleep and not just take a late evening nap. If you feel he is tired but just needs help settling in I have gone in with my kids to sing to them or read to them until they fall asleep. My older children settle themselves to sleep just fine. They all like to read before bed. I would not worry about how other people's kids sleep or what a book says about sleep and just let your child be unique.

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D.E.

answers from Norfolk on

If he is still sleeping in a crib, it might be time to switch to a toddler bed. The reason I say that is my son was the same way. I would put him down for the night and he would sleep for 20 mins to an hour before he would wake up and start crying, I would get him back to sleep then a few minutes later he was awake again. Finally one day I was just so tired I put him in his brothers and he slept fine. I never would have guessed that was the problem but I guess he didn't have enough room in his crib when he would roll over he would hit the sides and that kept waking him up. Once he started sleeping in the big bed I put a baby gate in the door way so that way he could get up and come to the door to call me, and I didn't have to worry about him getting up and wandering around the house.

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E.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi,
1-2 year olds need about 10-13 hours of sleep a day. You may be putting him to bed too early. My son would do that too, so we pushed his bed time back. We start the bedtime routine around 8 and he is asleep around 8:30. That keeps him down for the rest of the night. If he gets 10 hours at night and then 2 one-hour naps, he should be fine. But he may be going to bed too early and taking the equivalent of a nap and then waking up at 9, wanting to play again. Instead, push him back later, and maybe he will sleep through the night. Good luck!!!

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My son took two naps until he was about 19 months old...it doesn't seem like your son is sleeping too much during the day. Maybe he's cutting teeth. Have you tried giving him some tylenol? Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Making a later bedtime never worked for us, she still got up at the same time in the morning and was exhausted the rest of the day.

Since you said that there are days, even weeks, that he sleeps 12 hours through, I'm wondering if a). there's something environmental that is waking him up--like a neighbor getting home late making a dog bark? Or b) he's teething and is having pain at night.

I read somewhere the advice to have an alarm that has a light turn on when it's a decent hour--you can teach your son to sleep until the "sun" wakes up (aka your alarm switches on)

It's so hard when no one is sleeping :( Good luck!

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