15 Month Old Starting Day Care Full Time

Updated on September 23, 2010
B.I. asks from Long Beach, CA
17 answers

The background: I am a first time mom. My son was with me for the first 6 months of his life. I returned to work full time and he has been watched by my MIL ever since. He is now 15 months (will be 16 months in 2 weeks).
The situation: We were all set to start him in day care 2 i/2 days a week with my MIL watching him the other 1/2 days and other days of the week. We were going to ease him into full time day care. Well, my in-laws just informed us that they are going out of the country at the end of the month for 4 weeks. Now, we have to find full time day care and soon!
I found a couple of day cares that I had researched before which actually have openings for his age and we are going to tour them this week. Now, I'm starting to worry about the adjustment period of him being thrust into full time day care 5 days a week out of the blue. I would love any suggestions on how to handle the transition (both for him and me) and would appreciate any comments telling me this is all going to be OK.

Thanks moms!

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, it will all be ok. It was also be so much easier for him than you.

Second, honestly, I think having him go all in five days a week will make the transition easier and faster than to keep taking him out, putting him back in. When you drop him off, give quick hugs and kisses and then head out the door. Know that his crying will stop a few minutes after you leave.

It's hard...my oldest has been in daycare five years now and there are still days I really struggle with leaving them, but they do fine. They learn wonderful things, do great art projects, sing songs and as my two year old is constantly telling me "play in the sandbox"...it's his favorite thing! We don't have one at home, so happy he's getting that at school.

Good luck!
-M

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

it will at some point be ok but there will be an adjustment period. depending on how sever and how long he reacts it can be rough. But you will get through it.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Best thing to do would be to do it gradually -- i.e. have your MIL or you yourself stay in the daycare with him for a few hours the first day so he can get to know the teachers and location while having you nearby, than gradually increase it until he's there all day. 15 months is unfortunately teh height of stranger anxiety so it might be really hard for him. My son adjusted fairly quickly to daycare when we entered him around 8 months or so but now that he's 15 months, he's having a super hard time when we try to put him into church daycare (since he's not familiar w. the church ladies). good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi B.,
My son started daycare exactly in the same situation you are in now. My son was 16 months old when he started daycare in August and was with me till 8 months and then taken care by grandparents until 16 months.I was planning to start of hald a day for 2 weeks and then full days but turned out that my MIL had change of plans and I had to out him in full time from day one.
Be prepared..it is going to be difficult for 2-3 weeks..both for you and the little one.
I'll tell you the experience I had and things I did:
My son absolutely refused to eat lunch and breakfast(he would snack) at daycare.So I give him breakfast from home (and do so even now) .But after 2 weeks he started eating.
I used to carry snacks(almost dinner like) with me and keep them in the fridge at office for me to give my son when i picked him up so that he wouldnt be hungry during the drive home. I did this for a month and now stopped since he is eating well at daycare.
Be very honest with the daycare providers on what your son needs and how things were done at home. Example my son was always spoon fed and used a bottle whereas kids in the toddler room at daycare were starting to self feed and used sippy cup. My daycare providers were okay with it and were ready to help with the transition and after a month in daycare my son switched to sippy cups and is learning to eat with spoon.
Another area which took a hit were naps. My son used to nap from 1.30 to 4 at home but didnt sleep for more than 30 minutes at daycare. This also is improving .. yesterday he slept for 2.5 hours!!
Make drop offs easy and quick...even if he cried.I used to cry in the car during the first week after drop off. It will get better I assure you.
My son was very tired and would be in bed at 6.30 during the first few weeks. But now he is adjusted to the new schedule.
It will take time for things to sort out..but be patient and give plenty of time for your son to get adjusted and keep talking to your daycare provider on your son's day.
One other thing I did was to drop in at different times(but made sure my son didnt see me) to see how he was doing.
Now it has been a month and half since my son started and I think things have settled down and my son is happy at daycare.
So things will work out..all the best!

Sorry - kind of long!!

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

We made the transition to a daycare center when our son was two. I'd been able to work my hours when my husband got home from work the first two years. If I had known how beneficial daycare would be for our son, I would have started him earlier! At two, he still wasn't talking much. Well, within a couple months of starting daycare, he was not only talking a lot, but combining words into short sentences! He loved being around other kids and learned so much from them in ways he just couldn't from me (believe me, as a writer, I'm big on words and tried everything to boost his language skills).

Even if your child cries initially, it gets better. Often, kids will cry just to put on a show for you so YOU don't feel bad. So, don't be shocked if this happens at the beginning. I've always had daycare providers say my kids put on a good show for me at drop off but they run off and play happily the second I leave!

Be very upbeat when talking about the daycare. Talk about the fun activities and what he can expect. Play it up so he feels excited about it.

Hope you find the perfect center for your child as you do your tours!

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Even though you are starting him in full time care, could you still have your MIL watch him a couple of hours a day (pick him up early) between when he starts and her trip? That would help ease him into it.

My daughter has been in an in-home daycare since she was 8 weeks and then we recently switched her to a center...no problems.

Keep in mind that if you are anxious about it, your child will be too...they pick up on that. Relax and be sure you are confident in your choices.

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M.M.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

When visiting the daycares, go with your mommy instincts. If you feel comfortable with the teachers/care givers, feel that you have a good dialogue with them and they listen to your concerns, chances are it will be a good environment for your son.

If you can possibly get him in, even parttime, within the next week or so, it would possibly help ease the transition from being at Gran's house to somewhere different. Dropoffs might be hard at first - this will be a big change for him. Talk with the daycare provider ahead of time as to the best way to handle it and watch your son for cues - is he a kid that can be distracted by a toy so you can say goodbye and slip out, or will you have to leave while he's crying. Make sure you let him know you'll be coming back to get him, to have fun and that you love him and then go. Dropoffs were the hardest on me when my guy started daycare but it gets much easier for all over time. I'm sure you can call your daycare provider 5 mins after you go and find out how your guy is doing; chances are once you're gone, he'll stop crying within a couple of minutes (seen this happen a gazillion times).

All will be well! Be patient, allow for transition time and soon both of you will be happy with this situation. Good luck!!

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

The issue might be less of his emotional adjustment and more of his immune system adjustment! It happens to all kids - they start at a new school, daycare, etc and they get sick. Often. Like ALL THE TIME, especially when he is so young and has not had extended periods of time with lots of kids. Make sure you have a plan for when your son is sick. He'll catch something week one and probably miss week 2. Everyone goes through it and if he does not do it now, he will do it in kindergarten, so don't feel bad about that, just make sure you have a plan to care for him. Good luck.

C.M.

answers from Johnson City on

I know you are worried about the transition, but honestly it might be easier on him to just start going to the daycare full time. He won't be confused to see the same teachers every day whereas he might get confused if he sees MIL one day and then the teachers the next. Hope this helps. And, yes, it will be OK. Kids are amazingly resilient, sometimes much more than we parents are I think.

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

IMO, it is NOT more beneficial to start them out gradually, it is actually better to just start the full 5 days, and I think a lot of daycare providers would agree. Kids are very adaptable and with 2 little ones in daycare from 3 months old, I think the transition will be harder for you than him. 15 months is going to be a hard age, most childcare providers that I work with or have talked to, would prefer them to start earlier, however you just need to expect about a week of some crying and seperation anxiety since at this age, seperation anxiety will be high. Make the most of the weekends and nights to spend good quality time with your little one, and I think you will see the benefits more so than the disadvantages of daycare. He will learn so much and you will see such a huge change in his learning, speech, socialization, etc. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi B., I have been a daycare provider for 13 years, and in my experiences most toddles adjust very well. it is actually harder on the parents than the children. In my experience the children who are 2 and older have the harder time adjusting because they understand the concept of being left. Whether its hard or easy for him, if you have a good provider she will ease him into the activities and the other children. J.

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

You'd be surprised how quickly kids adapt. He will probably love being around the other babies. Maybe before you start sending him full time, go with him and spend an hour there a few days to ease your mind and you won't feel like you're completely abandoning him.

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K.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's probably better- kids do well with routine, so now he'll know what to expect every day.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Relax- if you're worried, he'll be worried. He's still very young and adaptable. The first few days, likely the first week, will be tough. He'll be upset, you'll be upset, but by the end of the week he'll be fine! Kids LOVE being around other kids!

When my son was around the same age, our home-daycare provider went out of business. I was devastated- you would have thought a family member had died. We found someone equally competent and who had been in business for a long time with no risk of closing (another home care program). I was a wreck and my son cried the first two mornings. After that, he ran in, hugged "Miss Trudy" and blew me a kiss.

Bottom line, I was devastated, my husband was a worried mess and our son couldn't wait to get in the door to see his new friends.

Good luck! You will ALL be fine!!

H.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

It will be OK. Your son will love being around the other kids - it is you that will have a hard time. I just put my two boys (10 months and 30 months) into full time day care. They seem to love the caregiver and truly enjoy being with the other kids. It is one of the hardest things you will do, to leave him the first few days. Be strong. They will be fine... it is great for them to be around new people and to learn new things and to have new experiences. You will be fine, just know that he might cry a bit at first but he will quickly adjust when you leave. It is good for him to learn to be independent. You are doing the right thing for your son. Hang in there.

Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Definitely take your son with you to all the different places. Let him play with the other kids and the toys. He'll let you know which one he likes best. I put my son in daycare when he was 9 weeks old. He was fine. I was crying. I think the kids usually do better than the parents. Just make sure it's a place that you trust and that you have good references for them.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

HI B.,
It is going to be ok. It may take him some time to get used to being away but he'll end up loving daycare. Just be sure that you find one that you are 100% comfortable with. Ask the daycares you tour lots of questions about what kinds of activities they do with the kids. what their daily schedule looks like, how they handle meal time and nap time, their cleaning schedule and any other important subjects you can think of. Be sure that in addition to touring the daycare, *you* also interview *them*. Go see the daycares when they are in full swing so you can see how they interact with the kids. If their philosophy/parenting style doesn't match yours look for another place.

In terms of a transition, I wouldn't toss your little guy in full-time the first week if you can help it. What works best for us is to transition over about a week (no more than 2) where you bring him to care for some half days. This will help him get used to the environment and caregivers and also the level of noise and activity. Most kids are pretty overstimulated for the first week and it will be comforting for him to be able to go home and nap where he's comfortable. By the second week he should be fine to go full days. The transition time always depends on the child, but if you have a good place the experience of daycare will be really good for him.

Be prepared for separation anxiety at this age. Help with that by coming in the door, giving the caregiver the info she/he needs being happy and positive and telling your little guy, "I'll be back at the end of the day." Hug and kiss and out the door. He will do much better with a quick goodbye, even though that will be very hard for you.

Also be prepared for him to get sick fairly often if this is his first dip in the germ pool, and know that this is very normal.

Good luck!!!

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