15 Month Old Son

Updated on September 27, 2010
M.L. asks from Las Vegas, NV
6 answers

i need help my ex husband won my son in court and he is always yelling at my son and everytime he send me a picture of my son he is alway wearing the samething as in the last picture and in a couple of the pictures my sons pamper is really full and i dont know what i should do.i had my son when i was 16 and i am 18 now i have not seen my son face to face in alomst a year he wont let me see him and i get so mad because i miss my son so much.i hold my feelings in and dont talk about it and then one day i will finally snap and i start to freak out that i pull my hair out and then i cut my self and i just dont know what to do my parents are not in my life my father passed for drinking and my mom is god knows where.and the thing that kills me inside is that my oldest sister is 26 and she is dating my ex and is pregnate with his daughter and my son calls her mommy please i really need you help

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answers from Las Vegas on

Sweety, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. They sound serious. Right now you need to take care of yourself so that one day you can regain custody of your son. A professional counselor is always worth talking with. Community Counseling Center of Southern Nevada offers free counseling to those in need. Their address is: http://www.cccofsn.org/

Good luck, and be persistent in trying to get help. It's not always easy to find counseling, but it is worth it. You are worth it, and so is your son.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

sweetie, you need to get some help. You CANNOT be cutting yourself. The courts awarded your son to your husband for a reason. You need to make the changes in your life required by the court & you will be granted visitations at the very least. Did the courts forbid you from seeing him? Get better. Do it for your son. Forget your ex and your sister. Remove yourself from the situation. It will not be easy, but there are places & organizations that will help you. A hug to you.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Reno on

Most of the time people hold feelings in because it gives them a sense of control. They're also usually afraid that the feelings will overwhelm them if they actually allow themselves to feel anything. As you've discovered, that kind of thinking is understandable but wrong. If you feel sad, angry, lonely, isolated or whatever, give yourself permission to feel it, in the moment. It will hurt, but only after you've actually recognized it and felt it can you get past it. You are strong enough - it will not overwhelm you.

Don't worry about your past or your parents or your sister - don't worry about anything but the future and the choices YOU make. Other things will only control your life if you let them. Your life, from this minute on, will be mostly what YOU decide to make it.

There are counselors and legal help available free or cheaply. Find out what is available, and take any classes you can, get counseling, and then go to court to insist on visitation.

Especially at first, your son will be confused. Do not try to convince him that he needs to choose you over his dad or your sister! That will just confuse and upset him. A person, especially a child, can never have enough people who love them, but even one person who causes chaos and arguments and hard feelings is too many! Choose some kind of nickname that he can call you - maybe Mimi? - so he doesn't have to choose which of you to call "mom." Be positive, together, helpful and adult. Remember that parents are supposed to meet the needs of their children; children are not supposed to meet the needs of adults. Think more about what HE needs than about what you need, and you will definitely be a positive part of his life.

Good luck! Post on here what progress you're making - people care.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Good morning M., I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. I think the first thing you need to do is get help for you, the things you are doing are not healthy, get things under control and get a lawyer and go back into court a strong together woman and try and get your son back, you are older now and prayfully more equiped to take care of your son. Sinse your family is not in your like seek help from a close friend, mother or father figure in your life, walk into a police station, child wellfare, any where where there is someone who can possibly help you. I'm 53 I have 21 year old daughter, and would not want her to be going through anything like this, were all out here for you, lets us know what area you are in, if we all pull our resourses together we may just be able to help you. J.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Hello, Please try to get some help for the part where you are hurting yourself. You don't deserve what is happening to you. You should speak to a lawyer about your visitation. Unless there is an order where you are not allowed to see your son, he is violating a court order where you have visitation. You should be able to visit.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Like the others have suggested, you really need to get yourself help. I hate to say it, but your child was awarded to your ex for a reason and you need to fix what's going on with you before you can attempt to regain custody. Once you are ready to pursue legal custody, Bet Tzedek offers free/low cost legal assistance: http://www.bettzedek.org/
Please get yourself help, if not for you, than for your child's sake. Good luck.

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