14 Month Old Possessed: Scratching, Pinching, Tantrums

I asked a similar questions when my child was about that age. He would go on a 20 minute uncontrollable tantrum (NOTHING soothed him) and then a suddenly just be okay. We saw a behavioralist who said that it's normal and he's just growing emotionally and is testing bounds with parents since he is most comfortable with us. She gave me some coping mechanisms on how to handle them. You can message me if you want more info. He eventually stopped his "random" tantrums and now that he can talk at 25 months, he throws less and shorter tantrums to get his way - or when he's tired :-). But at least we can control those with time outs and talking.

So don't worry - it's normal.

I agree with the ear infection. My child only ever had one ear infection, but she showed no symptoms...no fever, no grabbing at her ears ect. So she could have one and you would never know unless you go to the dr.

Either that or your daughter has hit her terrible two's early lol. Good luck.

Hi G.,
It sounds to me like your LO is very tired...probably overtired. She's probably not getting restorative sleep. I just dealt with something very similar with my 7 month old and ended up hiring a sleep consultant who has worked wonders with our little guy. She is very affordable and she resolved the problem within a few days. www.familysleep.com/

This too shall pass.

When children go through big developmental shifts (approximately every 6 months in the first 5 years) the brain literally shuts down for re-wiring. If her brain was a tower of blocks, instead of just adding a sixth block, she is smashing down the tower and re-ordering the first 5 so that they are more stable and efficient. Neuron connections literally shut down and re-route. So temporarily, she loses access to whatever minimal coping skills she had maybe even a month ago. Potty training may regress, speech may regress.

Usually the process is somewhat gradual. So one area or two will appear to regress and then come back as others shut down for a while. Sometimes it's really intense and it seems everything is malfunctioning.

When our daughter was 2 1/2 she went through a really tough time and it lasted a few months. I eventually took her to see a doctor because she was soooo different. And then - it all passed and she'd made huge leaps verbally and physically. She's 3 1/2 now and we're sort of used to it. After 6 months of almost no tantrums, she's had 5 this week. Here we go again.... :)

lots of hugs and love. Be consistent and firm in setting your limits, but always loving and supportive of her struggle. So stop her from scratching and pinching, but don't punish her. Help her to find other ways of showing her frustration if you can. She already knows she shouldn't be doing it, but she has no other coping tools right now. It must be very frightening at 14 months to feel so much anger you scratch your own mother. Ignoring tantrums just teaches the kid that their biggest emotions are wrong. Which makes them feel that THEY are wrong. They're still feeling what they're feeling, they're just suppressing it. I think they need to be taught ways to cope with their emotions. And they need reassurance that they are still loved. And, of course, they don't get what they were screaming for.

around 14 months my own daughter went through a biting phase that lasted 2 months. it was sooooo stressful. But it passed.

and I too have on occasion given Tylenol "just to check if it's pain" :)

Some awesome books:
The highly sensitive child - Elaine Aron
Raising your Spirited Child - Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Playful Parenting - Lawrence Cohen

Rule out medical stuff first. You did say it's when you say no to her that sets her off-in which case no, it won't pass on it's own for years if you don't intervene. She is old enough to be throwing fits. My 3rd started tantrumming younger (8 months) and much more viciously than my 1st two. The behavior sounds exactly like yours. My step sister with 6 had one who started at 6 months.
Our now one year old has greatly improved with early discipline. She starts but doesn't continue with a warning. We also disciplined the first tantrums in our first two (which didn't come until 18 months) and they never got in the habit and never have them. I have a book that works for all ages, especially under 2. It's about as un-child led as it gets, but it works on tantrums if you're interested.

If you're giving in to her for nap locations and nursing on demand at over 8 months, you're getting a picture of how life may be over the next couple of years, she knows fits get her what she wants, and she's used to needing people "doing stuff for her" to feel OK. It's different than for younger infants, and it does change on a dime. Be prepared!

Find a chiropractor, cranial sacral therapist or acupuncturist who also clears emotions. There's a technique called NET and it's pretty amazing. My friend's son was haing MASSIVE anger issues, related to the liver and within a few treatments, he was much more mellow and relaxed.

Even without the emotional stuff, if my daughters starts getting uptight, demanding and starting to hit her brothers or scratch herself, I will take her to our chirorpactor immediately and I literally see an immediate change. Irritation to the nervous system can cause outbursts like that.

Our chirorpactor also checks our kids ears, blood pressures, weighs them, etc and then cane give us natural solutions for ear infections that literally are gone within hours.

With my daughter behavioral changes were food related. Turned her into a Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde within minutes for some foods and days for others when she had anything with gluten /wheat (this was the worse offender for behavioral), eggs, soy, dairy /casein, yeast.

Another thing is how is she reacting when she has vaccinations? Does she have high pitched screaming hours later? Seem lethargic afterwards, for days? What are her bowel movements like? She could be having gut pain or as others have mentioned, ear pain, which would cause behavioral lashing outs.

On another note, when you use Tylenol you are telling the body's immune system to go take up to 22 days vacation. Tylenol is not only bad for the liver but it stops the production of Glutathione, which is the last thing to give them when they are about to get shots. A good, up-to-date book, The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert Sears, is something to have on hand to help research which shots your child should have.

Maybe she should see an exorcist..... kidding.

It really does sound like she is needing to see a doctor. Something is wrong. Good Luck =)

I agree with first post, take her to pediatrician first for ear infection and rule out any other health issues first. Then look into possible triggers for behavior changes.

My 2 1/2 year old daughter did this too. One moment she would be her sweet and loving self, the next it was like another child had taken her place. She would slam her head and face into the couch or floor while screaming. Her pediatrician suggested that we ignore the tantrums (keep an eye out that she didn't hurt herself) and once she was calm to talk to her . There were days that were constant tantrums and tears (I kept a supply of chocolate bars on hand for ME) and some days where there was peace and happiness. It IS a phase and will pass. Just keep repeating to yourself "she is 14 months old, I am the adult. We will survive this."

For the naps, try letting her sleep on your bed. You can snuggle together and once she drifts off you can do what you need to for the day or just relax with her. There will always be dishes to do, laundry, etc. but she will only be this small once. In a few years you'll look back and smile.

Good luck and hang in there!!!

Have you tried taking her to a chiropractor???

The only reason that my child ever acted like that was when she had an ear infection.

does she have an ear infection?