14 Month Old Hitting, Phase? When Did You Start Time Outs?

Updated on July 16, 2009
S.X. asks from Libertyville, IL
4 answers

My 14 month old is hitting. Hitting me, hitting things, hitting herself and she makes this little grunting noise when she does it. I know she's seen her big brother hit me I think once, and she was hit in daycare at least once months ago (daycare is only 4 hrs a week and then the healthclub daycare). Obviously she isn't hurting anyone. I tell her "gentle touch" and show her. I tell her no hitting. I've started to tell her no hitting and redirect her and if she hits me, ohhh the 6th time or so... I put her in the other room by herself (she gets up and comes back about 10-20 sec later). What do you think about a pack and play 1 min time out? I think this was the age i started w/my son. Did your kids go through this at this age? I think she's tired and hungry some of the time. I don't get real upset, just don't want her to be one of "those kids" LOL. thanks

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answers from Chicago on

I don't think hitting is acceptable behavior, whether or not your child is physically hurting the other person. Start time-outs like yesterday. I would never allow a child to hit me, I don't care how old they are. You can always say "no", put her in the timeout, and then tell her "no hitting".

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answers from Chicago on

For the hitting, I would look her directly in the eyes and tell her "no," then show her how to be "gentle." If she keeps on hitting, I would put her down, walk away, and remove my attention from her. I find that ignoring, i.e. removing your attention, is the best way to get them to stop bad behaviors. Time outs kind of remove your attention, but you are removing the child. I don't think there is any reason to remove the child, unless they are really disobeying and you need them to stop what they are doing. I find walking away works better, i.e. they don't throw a fit, are quickly redirected, and there is no conflict. You just quickly and immediately remove what they want, your attention. That in itself is negative reinforcement enough, most of the time.

It's very common at 14 months for kids to hit, pinch, pull hair, etc.



answers from Chicago on

14 months a child is old enough to know right from wrong. Time out is Ok to start.
Below is what I wrote back on July 11 to a mom who was having a problem with her child hitting. I would just like to share.
Two Cents from a mom of a soon to be 19 year old. So I have been there done that....
This behavior should be addressed as aggressive behavior. It is just like hitting someone, it should not just be ignored. Children need to learn at a very early age that hitting or head bunting someone is not appropriate behavior.
First of all you should stop him, come down to his level and tell him this is not appropriate behavior and if you do this again you will be put in time out or what ever punishment you and your husband choose. Then give him a hug and tell him you love him. then continue doing what you were doing.
Very important to come down to his level and look at him eye to eye. Be very firm without yelling or raising your voice. Also if he does it again you must follow through with your warning. If you do not follow through you will never get him to stop.
It is not a good idea to look at this behavior as something a child will grow out of. This is no different than spitting, biting, or talking back.

As I said just my 2 cent.



answers from Chicago on

I started time-outs with my son at this age too. Also what we did for hitting: I would hold his hands with my own, get down to his level, look him in the eyes and tell him in a low voice "No hitting". Then I would give him a big hug to show him what a nice touch is. Then I would redirect to something else. This phase lasted only a few weeks for us. Hope this helps and good luck!

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