13 Year Old Development

Updated on August 16, 2009
M.S. asks from Alexandria, VA
12 answers

My 13 year old daughter is healthy at a normal 5' 1", and a weight of 99 pounds. She is active and looks great, but she is troubled by the fact that most of her friends with the exception of about two, have their periods. She is developing at a steady pace and is a 34B in bra sizes, and is just as far along as some of her friends who have their periods if not farther. I was a late bloomer, recieving mine when i was fifteen, but the rest of our family seemed to be between ages 12-14. She is quite nervous about not getting hers though I told her she has nothing to worry about. The thing that gets me is when she was eleven, her doctor said to expect it within the next six months and seemed a bit concerned that she hasn't gotten it because of how perfectly developed she is. Does anyone have an idea of when she might get it based on this information? I know it is unpredictable, but I'd like to help her stop worrying about it constantly.

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X.D.

answers from Boston on

Her nerves are normal. I brought my daughter to a health professional to explain the whole thing. Teenagers need to hear things from someone other than their parents sometimes. If you have already done this, stress relaxation techniques with her. Tell her that you will see the doctor again in six months and will have some tests then if she still hasn't gotten her period. Stress that she is a normal - lots of girls have the same thing happen! Take care.

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J.F.

answers from Providence on

i'm sure there have been plently of responses to this request, but as the mother of a HORRIBLE sleeper (at 9:58.. sleeping and counting the minutes!) I do not have time to read through the rest of the responses. Please tell your daughter that she is so normal!! I didn't get mine until I was almost a senior in high school and I was 5'6'' with a 34 d bra! I was VERY athletic which may have had a factor but by my guess she will get it soon.. within the next year or so.. and tell her NOT TO RUSH IT!... it will follow her for ev er..... haa

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L.C.

answers from Bangor on

It can depend on how athletic she is, how low her bodyfat is and whether she eats a lot of fast food or foods that have estrogen injected in the meat. Organic does not and if you are eating organic that is great!
If you were a late bloomer she will probably be too. There are so many variables and doctors usually are guessing when females go through the different developmental stages. I was menopausal at 37 which they say couldn't be (my mom went through it early also). Don't fret, your daughter is perfectly normal, let her know we are all different and maybe tell her how lucky she is that she doesn't have to worry about all those hormones kicking in once a month yet. She will get there when her body is ready to get there.

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R.D.

answers from Boston on

Is she very active in sports?-that can delay it. My whole family were early developers and I didn't get mine until 16. If you're concerned and your Dr. is concerned then see if s/he'll run some blood work to see if all her levels are normal. If everything is within normal limits it may ease your mind to just wait a bit longer before looking into more in depth testing.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

I wouldn't worry about it until much later. If she is healthy that is what counts. Tell her that once she gets it she will stop growing and she'll have to deal with cramps, pads, tampons every month. She should be counting her lucky stars that she hasn't started yet. Periods are annoying!! She shouldn't even be worrying about it yet. Some people make a big deal about your period and "growing up" because they don't want their kids to feel bad about getting their period. It's like when people tell you that rain on your wedding day is good luck! So silly. Some kids don't get their period until they are 16. If she is tired, gaining or losing weight and extremely moody, I would worry, but it sounds like she is a healthy girl. She needs to focus on something other than getting her period. Once she gets it, I'm not so sure she'll be that happy about it!! ;)

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N.D.

answers from Springfield on

I got mine when I was 15 and by that time was not looking forward to it. Have some of her friends tell their "Aunt Flo" war stories and maybe she won't yearn for it as much and let her own calendar figure it out.

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

M., if your daughter has been checked out by doc and all seems well , then do not borrow trouble.
Bodies develop at their own timing points.
My mum did not have periods til nearly seventeen as did one of my sisters. I started at 11, my other sister was 13. One family of grandchildren has 3 girls, they started at 17, 14, and 12. And the oldest was the one who was 17 so her sisters were coming around and she did not. The one who started youngest was the least developed, one of those stick people.
Of course she wants to be like the other girls, and she will be, in time.
There is no reason to worry. Not for her, not for you.
It will come when it comes and it is futile to fret ( and a bit silly)
Tincture of time and this , too, shall pass.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

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L.E.

answers from Hartford on

i, myself, was almost 15. it arrived with absolutely no warning or symptoms. i wouldn't worry about your daughter at this point in time. i remember feeling out of the loop at that age, too, cause my cousins both had already gotten theirs. tell her to enjoy the time she has without it cause once it comes, it stays! :) coming back month after month after month after month....and doesn't care if you've planned to go swimming or wear a white dress. goo dluck

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K.A.

answers from Boston on

I remember wanting the same things my friends had and aso wishing I could give periods back once they did start. Funny, I don't remember my friends moaning about them then. My 12yo saw her pediatrician today and he said daughters follow mothers most of the time. I started at 14. He also asked how tall her father and I are and said it's likely she'll start after she's grown a bit more (she's still 11 inches shorter than I am and my husband is taller than I). I seem to recall my period starting about the time I spurted past my mom's height so I guess that makes sense. Our friend's doctor said it usually occurs within 1 to 1 1/2 years after she begins to grow pubic and armpit hair. You can reassure her of course but that comment from her doctor isn't helping her not worry. Maybe a call to his office might get a reassuring response from him that would help?

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

it is like death and taxes.......it will come! Tell her to enjoy herself before it comes...she will have most of the rest of her life to enjoy the cramping, bloating, mood swings and on and on! There was a woman who posted on here yesterday that her daughter was 16 and no sign of her period. I think you are doing the right thing just reassuring her that it will come eventually. I didn't get mine until I was fifteen - my mother got hers when she was 12 - go figure!

K.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi M.,
Not to worry. Like you I was almost 16 and my older daughter was exactly the same age as I when she got it. However her sister whose 4 years younger than her got it at almost 13. The funny part...my 13 year old wanted it so badly and now 2 years later...can't stand it. I laugh and tell her...she's got a long way to go....be careful what you wish for.

Another observation...my 13 year old still hasn't "developed" and living in the same house...we all get it the same time! My husband and son seem to not be around "so" much during that time...lol:)

Good luck you have nothing to worry about.

-K.

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M.E.

answers from Boston on

I don't think she needs to worry until she's older, maybe 14-15. I was fully developed for a year and a half before I got my period and I was a 34D! Everyone develops in their own time. ;-)

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