13 Month Old Is Not Saying Words

Updated on May 03, 2008
K.J. asks from Murphysboro, IL
33 answers

My 13 month old son had been say what we understood to be a few words: da, ma, and galla (for the dog - Galahad). He seems to understand what we are saying, but lately he's stopped saying ma and galla and seems to be testing us when we tell him no. The doctor said on monday that he may be a little behind in language skills but physically he is doing well. Any suggestions? How do you teach a toddler to speak? We are trying not to worry.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for the advice. I really appreciate all the encouragement. I think the best advice has been that boys learn later and that if they are working on a new skill they may stop or go backward in another. After thinking about it and watching him, we realize that he's been working really hard at understanding the relationship between things. He's been stacking blocks and putting smaller items in larger containers. He loves being responsible for carrying a small container of cheerios. He doesn't spill them that often either. We worked on some of the words he was already saying to get him to say them again and there was no problem with him saying them. He is very physical and loves to run and jump and climbs on anything he can. He's very smart, and I think his hearing is fine. He's only been sick twice in 13 months, even with a minor cold. We'll just keep talking to him and wait on him to tell us when it's time for him to talk. Thanks again everybody!

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi,

You may have heard that boys often are slower in picking up vocabulary...my nephew didn't say a word until about two and a half, and then started speaking in sentences! When they are ready, they will talk.
Good luck

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D.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Don't worry about anything yet it is way too early. When my son was 18 months old and we went to the doctor, the doctor asked if he could speak 50 words 25, then 10? I looked at him like he was crazy -- I didn't think my son was behind, and I freaked and counted the words he could kind of say -- it was around 15. The doctor said that was fine and that it is common for boys to be a little slower than girls and first born boys he said are often even slower to start talking. Well, to make a long story short, shortly after that my son started picking up words right and left and I could no longer keep track. He is now in 2nd grade and gets straight A's. I didn't do anything special or change anything I was doing, he just started later and has no problems at all.

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J.W.

answers from Lawrence on

My daughter is 19 mos. and she is still not saying much, just in the past month she has begun saying more. I was worried at first, but when I think about it, I am home with her all day so she doesn't need to talk, I know what she wants so I think she probably sees that she doesn't need to speak because mommy will do it anyway. She understands EVERYTHING and is very very smart, she just doesn't want to use words yet. Sometimes too, kids stop something they have learned because they are working on mastering another skill, then once that has happened, they will go back to doing what they had before.

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K.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I'm sorry to hear that your son has stopped talking and seems that he is testing you. I am a Speech Therapist and Special Educator. I am curious if this happened shortly after immunizations were given to him. There is controversy concerning immunizations and affects on developing babies and toddlers. Chiropractors and nutritionsist may be a very helpful resource for you and your questions about this sudden stopping of talking. If you confide in them, they may be able to answer your questions and help your precious 13 month old. without invasive methods.

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J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Did the Doctor check his ears, because the same thing happen to my nephew and my sister had his ears checked and found out that he wasnt hearing well so they had these tubes put in his ears ( they fall out on there own in time ) but after the tubes were put in he starting talking more

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Many universities offer language programs-please take time to look into those. Try speech departments,check the autism programs (no I am not stating this is any condition but they have great language programs and this may get him started before it might be a problem)sometimes the theater departments can give you direction. Don't talk baby talk and don't let anyone else do that-use real words in real voice no9t the cute stuff we all do to babies. Do you let him watch and listen to childrens tv programs? Sesame street and Barney and the vege-tales are wonderful for talking too. When he uses a short version of a word like he does for the dog-stop everything and work with him to repeat the correct name- do this several times and often with any words you notice. Not harsh just keep repeating- and yes he might be mad at you but this sometimes pushes his real language. Use eye contact always. It is worth a trip to the university to check things ot-they may have something on-line you can start the search with. Keep up the good work!

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J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi K.,
Same thing with my daughter when she was little. She had several ear infections a yr and finally I insisted on a ear nose and throat specialist and thank goodness I did. She had fluid in her ear and was hearing us as if she was under water and it was garbled. The put tubes in her ears (took all of 20min) in the hospital and when we were leaving the hospital we were talking in the car and the look on her face was amazing! She was actually hearing us clearly! Make sure you have him checked out it is totally worth it!
J.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I know from my cousin's experience with autism that if your son starts to lose eye contact and starts to socially shut down (other than not using words) , then you should worry! Not wanting to hug and cuddle and that kind of thing! If simple changes in "normal" routines throws him into temper tantrums, that sort of thing! Those are the signs to look for with autism! There is such a BROAD spectrum with autism also! If you dont feel comfortable with the first diagnosis get another! Parents as Teachers is a wonderful program we are enrolled into (for free) it should be available in each community (check with local schools, elementary schools). Just keep on talking to him, ask him ?'s, wait and give him a chance to respond and make eye contact with him! Talk like you have never talked before! He wont tell nobody what you said (at least for a little awhile!) Good luck!! K. :)

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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

Call an early intervention center. In Garden City & the surrounding towns it is Russell Child Development Center. They will evaluate your child & you can get free services. My oldest recieved physical, speach & occupational therapies. You can also call Parents As Teachers (also a free service). They come to your house monthly & check on your child's development. They bring fun toys & acctivities for your child & you to do together. They can also direct you to any services that your child may need & give you suggestions on how to help your son with his speach.
God Bless!

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L.S.

answers from Topeka on

Hi K.,

My three year old son was a late talker too. He also went through a point of being very lazy about using his words. If he thought that he could get away with pointing or grunting for something he wanted, he would.

Our son was also way ahead in the physical skills. Our pediatrition told us that kids, especially boys who are right on or ahead of their age group physically often tend to pick up the verbal skills later. I tend to believe this b\c my cousins daughter (3 months younger than my son) was definitely behind in the physical areas but was using sentences by a year.

Don't worry yet, our son went from single words to short sentences over a week period at about 14 months. It was an amazing thing to hear.

How did we get him to use those words? We made our son ask for things by name. If he couldn't remember what it was, we would have him look at us and have him watch us pronounce the word. We would not let him have the object until he said the word. Believe me, the first couple of weeks were a little rough (our son was VERY stubborn at times) but we stuck to our plan and in no time he was using sentences. Our pediatrician said that is often the way it happens. No transition, a few simple words to whole sentences.

If your child gets past 15 months and is still having the same problems, then go seek help.

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J.P.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi K.,

I have a similar response to the woman with the 3yr old. My son who is now 2 1/2 showed the same signs you talk about. We were told by several people he was fine and that boys develop slower etc. The pediatrician said the same thing yours did and to look at the whole picture of his development.

All I can say is follow your gut. All those people were wrong. I pursued it. I knew there was something just not right about the whole thing. Come to find out he needed tubes in both ears. He completely failed the tempanogram hearing test. The ENT clinic at Children's Mercy is wonderful. Basically they said he could hear but it sound like he's under water. Of course the guilt set in on getting on his case for "ignoring" me and such but I was so glad I followed my gut.

He's fine now and with a little speech therapy he's catching up verbally.

Good luck to you and trust your instincts...it could be something or nothing at all.

J.

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

I would read to him all the time get small few worded books bright colors and read them make up your own story with the pictures have him point to the kitty horse baby etc.this will help him develop.Repeat yourself this is how babies learn,also speak to him all day long ex. we are up in the morning,time to eat lunch, mom is making mac n cheese, anyway I hope you get the point language need's to be used everday all day long.There is so much a baby can get from language

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K.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I wouldn't woory. My son was a late starter, also. In fact, I began to think maybe he had hearing problems or something. First of all, boys usually start later than girls. My son will be 3 in September and he just really started talking alot probable within the last few months. There are still alot of words that are a little hard to understand but he's coming along. I would give it some more time and as long as you mentioned it to your doctor and she doesn't see it as a problem just yet, just relax and keep working with him and he'll pick it up.

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M.J.

answers from Kansas City on

The only thing I can think of that I didn't notice said already, is make sure you make him tell you what he wants. If he grunts or points to something he wants, make him actually say something- don't just give it to him, even when you know what it is that he wants. when I was little, my brother didn't talk because I did it for him. He would grunt or point at something and I would tell my mom what he wanted (I've always been a talker :). Therefore, he never had to speak for himself. So, just make sure you don't just give him things without making him say something...

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M.E.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter just didn't "feel" like speaking much until she was about 20 months, then she spoke in complete sentences! I remember talking to the doctor at her 18 month check up, afraid she'd never speak proactively (she'd repeat things that we asked her to, but rarely volunteered words). Now she's almost 5, and has a huge vocabulary (whimpered, explained, wailed, corridors, sighed, ecstatic, extinct...those kinds of words when she tells stories) and is very articulate. Maybe your little sweetie just needs to develop on his own time table. Good luck!!

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J.H.

answers from Wichita on

Look into baby sign language. Worked for us! Contact your local library or go online. Cuts down on the child's frustration and yours!

Best Wishes,

J. H.

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M.I.

answers from St. Louis on

A 13 month old child is still very young when it comes to verbal skills. The best way to teach him to talk is to make him use the words he has. Once you notice he has the word for milk, make him say it EVERY time he wants some. After he says it, put it in a small sentence. 'Joey wants milk'. Eventually he'll say 'want milk' or 'Joey milk'. Then your sentence will sound something like. "Joey is thirsty and wants a drink of milk".

My daughter had a handfull of words at an early age and I think what helped her was that I would carry her through the house and tell her the different rooms and the items in each room. My day sounded a little like this..

"What! What is this?! Ohh, we are in the kitchen. We eat in the kitchen, here is the refrigerator! The refrigerator keeps things cold. Brrrrr the freezer is really cold. Ohhh, wow, this is a door. The door to the bedroom where mommy and daddy sleep! Bed, here is the bed. The bed is so so soft. Mommy and daddy sleep in the bed. Here is the light, ohhh wow, the light is on. The light is so bright. Uh-oh, the light is off. The room is dark. Good night."

So maybe I should have been put on medication while my daughter was still a baby, because I'm sure I sounded really crazy. I'd go through the house at least once a day saying all these things.

Before she even had words, but was walking, I could tell her to put something in mommy's laundry basket and she'd do it. She couldn't say anything.....but was proving to me that she knew a lot. That being said, watch for clues. I'm sure your little one knows what's going on. He just isn't ready to talk yet. I hear boys are a bit slower to start talking. I have a 12 month old who isn't saying ANYTHING. He just babbles.

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V.M.

answers from Kansas City on

wow pretty lucky to be both stay at home parents. anyways i have a 16 month old and he used to say some words a few motnhs ago, but now he doesnt say anything but babbles and yells. i wouldnt really be worried. i also watch a 20 month old and he doesnt talk but a few words either. i would give your kids some more time to learn. he will talk when he is ready. maybe he dosent want that kind of attention?

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

My first kid was behind on verbal advancement as well. However, at 13 months I would not consider you child behind yet - just not excelling at a fast past. But, our dr. said take a look overall. And my kids was leaps and bounds ahead in motor skills, and I mean way ahead. Our Dr. said it is totally normal for kids to focus on one thing at a time especially if they are advanced in any certain area. So, Kaden took awhile to really talk but man that kid could run, jump, climb, hop, skip, and all the other stuff. Now, at 2 1/2 he speaks full sentences, and there is no limits to his verbal developement. He just focused on one thing before the other. So, my question is - how is he on this gross motor skills? And yea, don't worry yet! He has tons of time, and these things happen in age "ranges"....he is fine!

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K.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I wouldn't worry too much yet. My son also was a late talker...at his 18 month check-up he only could say about 5-6 words, and only when he felt like it...I was very concerned, but our dr was not at that point. About a week later he just started talking, a new word a day after a month he was up to 50+ words. He is 22 months now and talks all the time. I know as a parent it is very stressful thought when they are not talking. And as a first time mom, also I was always worried about his development. I read/ talked to him all day long, so it was very frustrating to understand why he was not talking. If he's had alot of ear infections I would get his ears checked...but otherwise I would not worry too much about it yet.

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M.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi K.-
I have a 14 mo son, and he's just now starting to say more words and recognize what they actually are, so I wouldn't be too worried. He started walking at 13 months and has been focused on that, so now that he's more comfortable with that, they say they move on to talking. He's always babbled a lot, but he's still not big on saying Ma sadly, just mostly Dad, but last night he said Dog while pointing to dogs and it's just really starting to explode. Plus I don't know about you, he is the center of our universe and we pretty much know what he wants, so I guess from his point of view, why bother talking?? Anyhow, just be patient, I'm sure it will happen soon! Good luck!

M.

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A.P.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi, K.. I'm speaking from personal experience when I tell you that my first born, a boy as well wasn't speaking until he was about 15mos. old. My pediatrician said he was well within the norm. After 18mos. is when they become more concerned. I can tell you that when he was 18mos. he was enrolled into a toddler program at a Montessori school where his teacher noticed that wasn't doing much speaking there, and suggested a speech/language therapist. It helped certainly, but we later found that his had lots of fluid in both ears. (He was sick quite often as a little guy w/ ear infections, etc.) We ended up putting tubes in his ears which really opened up his world for him. He has since had 2 more sets put in as he grew and the others fell out. He also had his tonsils ultimately taken out which more or less eliminated his strepthroat, ear infections, and lots of other kinds of respiratory infections and issues. He's been playing catch up as an auditory issue seems to go hand-in-hand w/ these type of situations. Having known what I know now I would suggest being proactive. Have his hearing checked by an audiologist and an ENT. Hopefully you've got nothing to worry about, but my son's now in 3rd grade, bright, yet I believe could've avoided some confidence issues he's been facing and anxiety issues as well if we had only known earlier. Good luck!

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

well i have noticed with my son (19 mos) that when he seems to be regressing or "forgetting" things he already learned, like his colors, or numbers, or peoples' names that he doesn't see that often, a lot of times it's because of another developmental milestone he's in the middle of that i might not even notice- teething, a growth spurt, or whatever. my son was a bit of a late talker, i think because he learned to walk at 9 months. it was several months of exploring that new talent, before he became good enough at it to focus on other things. for the longest time he wouldn't have any interest in learning parts of the face (eyes, ears, etc) but then magically one day, he knew them. and his language took off from 20-ish words, to over 200, in a matter of a few weeks. your son will figure it out in his own time...if he's testing you when you tell him "no", he might be at a point where he's realizing his own "power" so to speak, and might be more concerned with that, than with communicating. certainly don't let it worry you. just focus on other new talents he might be discovering (i remember when we had a "down" period as far as his development went, one day i saw my son playing make-believe for the first time - he was "driving" a piece of hotdog around his plate and making car noises- and i just was over the moon! - it's not just the obvious milestones that are exciting!) and as long as he's progressing in other areas, don't worry. just keep talking to him like you always have, exposing him to new things (zoos, parks, etc) to allow for new words to be used...he'll get it. then you'll wish he would STOP talking at some point! good luck!

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T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

I have a 14 month old and she doesn't say much either, but her doctor hasn't said anything yet...not sure if I have to worry also. If you get any good suggestions, let me know.

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E.M.

answers from Lawrence on

I have had a coupe of friends with boys who experienced this same thing. With one of them, her son didn't talk until he was 3, and then just started speaking in full sentences. At 13 months though, you don't need to worry. Boys tend to talk after they get the movement down. Girls tend to do the opposite. My girls didn't walk until 16 months, but they were early talkers. We also did baby signs with them, to help develope their communication skills, so I think that helped them with speaking. Try doing some signs. "More" (finger to palm) and "help me" (patting chest) were some of the ones we used the most. And of course the animal signs.
Don't worry, it'll happen.

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J.E.

answers from Columbus on

Something I learned with my son is that the developing brain usually focuses on either language or motor skills. My son was very verbal from early on, but he didn't crawl until 10 months and didn't walk until 15 months. If your son is focusing on motor right now, he may not be as verbal. A great resource to help you know if your son is on track is the Parents As Teachers program. www.parentsasteachers.org It is a free program through your local school district. An educator can come to your home or you can meet with them at a center and she can give you ideas and information on where you child should be developmentally and can do assessments at certain ages. I have gone through the program with both of my sons and have found it to be a wonderful blessing. Don't be afraid to talk to your pediatrician some more too and ask for a language pathologist or speech therapist evaluation if you are really concerned.

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C.G.

answers from Columbia on

Many 13 month olds do not have many words yet. He should have a few by this age, but most kids don't really start talking until closer to about 2. There is a wide range of what's considered normal. I would let the doctor know if he previously had lots of words, and is now regressing. Since he had just a few, he may just be not saying them as often. Also, kids understand language long before they can actually speak.

To help develop his language skills:
--speak clearly when you talk to him so he can understand each word. Studies show that the more adults talk with their children, the better their language skills tend to be (of course, there are other things that factor in as well).
--Try to require him to use his words when he wants something. Instead of giving him more to eat without asking, teach him how to say "more." Once he learns how, try to encourage him to say it before you give him more. (It's ok if he can't, but practicing before you give it to him will help).
--Whenever he is playing with something or points to something, label it--if he hands you a ball, say "Ball, you have a ball!"
-- Reading lots of books can also help.

Is he using gestures like pointing, or showing or giving you things like toys? Is he communicating with you in other ways besides speaking? These are all ways that toddlers communicate. So that he doesn't get frustrated, try to make sure his ways of communicating are effective, but still encourage him to use words by labeling things and talking to him a lot, asking questions. You might also want to look into baby sign language. This can help kids communicate and become less frustrated when they don't have the words to use. But, if you do use signs, make sure YOU SAY THE WORD with the sign, so he can learn to say the word as well. Basically, you want to make sure he doesn't replace spoken words with signs.

I wouldn't stress about it too much. He's still young. But if your concerns persist, be persistent with his doctor to get this checked out.

As far as him testing you, now is the time to start being consistent. Make sure your yes means yes and your no means no. This will make things much easier for you in the future if you establish this now. Children need limits to help them feel safe. If you think about how overwhelming and stimulating all these new things in the world can be to toddlers, giving him limits can help him manage everything and make his world seem less overwhelming. Giving him choices can help with this stage. "Do you want an apple or banana with your lunch?" This can give him some limited control over his world.

Best wishes! C.

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D.L.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 3 now and the same thing happen with her. She was getting so many ear infections that it caused her to be behind in her speech. We took her to get tubes in her ear and a speech therapist, but the sppech therapist wasn't working, so we worked with her a little harder and she eventually picked up from her school from the older kids. When she turned 3 last year, she started preschool and go to speech 2x a week. The tubes were great and with our help and keeping her exposed to kids at school helped a lot. It's good you stay at home with her, but she will learn faster being exposed to other kids.

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J.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I would take him to an ear nose and throat doctor and get his ears checked out. If there is a problem its usually with ears. My daughter Sher has had tubes two times and also tonsils and adenoids removed. Also we were able to get free speech therapy thru a program in our town(not an income based program- just one that the gov. pays for)Alos, Its not about whether or not he has the right amount of word... my daughter threw terrible fits because she could not communicate to us what she needed. Now she talks great and althought she still has ear trouble, she is able to speak very well because of the therapy. Hope it helps. J.

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D.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't know about your state, but in Missouri we have a program called First Steps. It is for 1-3 year olds with developmental, speech, and physical delays. The therapist(s) can come to your home and evaluate him in his own environment. You will probably have to have his hearing tested at a center though. Call your local school system and ask what kind of programs your state has. I'm sure they have something similar atleast. Don't worry, if it's anything mild to moderate, therapy this young will make all the difference in the world!

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P.H.

answers from Wichita on

Interesting.

I had one nephew that never talked until he was almost 18 months old and when he did it was in entire intelligible sentences. So, one never knows.

Babies do understand so much more than they are able to communicate verbally. There was a study that came out in the late 80's about how hearing children of deaf parents could communicate at ages as early 9 months old with sign language. I told my niece about this and purchased her a book "Sign with your Baby" by Joseph Garcia, and a Baby Einstine DVD about baby sign language.
She has reported great success and much less crankiness at dinnertime when her 12 month old can sign what she wants.

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K.O.

answers from Wichita on

See a specialist immediately. Speech pathologists are free if you seek early childhood intervention (must be provided by law). Also, early childhood screening can help determine if the delays are developmental, cognitive, or other in nature. They also can help rule out autism, etc. The earlier the intervention, the better the results. My son had similar symptoms around one year of age and he is now a four year old with a large vocabulary! Thanks to speech pathology and early intervention services, he will be in a regular education kindergarten class. Good luck. Kati

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L.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi K., my son was the same way. He had what they called a speech delay. He went to Cardinal Glennon and saw a speech pathologist to help with with his verbal skills. Check with your doctor on this. I know we had to get his eyes and hearing checked too to make sure that he was ok. Don't worry about it too much. He'll catch up, sometime they just move alittle slower than other kids do. Now my son is 12 and you would never know he had any issues. (He did well even back in 1st grade.) Good Luck and if you need a name of someone let me know. I can look and see who he saw back then.

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